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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
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Haven't had a chance to read it yet (on vacation and the wife hardly lets me check the website much less read...yes I'm a bitch) but my primary concern after looking at it is the blocks-o-text. I'd try to add spaces between each separate paragraph for ease of reading. You did it some... just not quite enough. Don't worry... I will read it in the coming week or so (once I get back to the real world).
 

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Great. Feel free to check out my other short, "It Caused An Effect"
 
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