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Banned
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2,022 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
Come join the League OV Uselessness (LOU) and choose your completely useless superpower! (As in come up with your own)

For instance mine is, "I have the ability to fly like Superman while inside of a plane but I can ONLY fly on the inside of the plane."

NOW PICK ONE SALLY!
 

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Jeep's and Harley's
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1,997 Posts
My friends told me that my superpower was thus: I can fit into any pair of jeans regardless of size and width and narrowness of the holes for the feet. I can't wear belts as they are very uncomfortable and therefore buy jeans that fit without a belt ...
 

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1,311 Posts
It has been decided that my superpower is that I am able to make shades (sunglasses) appear at will. However, when the power goes wrong (infrequent), lamp shades appear instead.
 

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I can turn Invisible when there's no one around.
Ahh, but does that only count when there is nobody physically close to you? Not showing up on cameras and CCTV could be useful :grin:

My useless power would have to be the complete control over the length and bushiness of my eyebrows
 

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Executive Nitpicker
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8,276 Posts
I always have a pen (with a fine tip, blue ink)
And a sharpie (with a fine tip)
And a backup sharpie (with a duller tip)
And a folding box cutter (with replacement blades)
And a multitool. (with full bit set for the bit driver)
And a pocket knife (with half-serrated blade)
And a clean hankey (with only one permanent stain)
And a PF-9 subcompact 9mm (with a laser sight)
And a spare magazine (with hollowpoints and a pinkey extension)
And a backup pen (with black instead of blue ink, just in case)

Oh, and a bus card (with enough for 5 rides on it)
But the pen is my superpower.

My weakness is my belt. My pants are very heavy.
 

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Banned
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Discussion Starter #9
Welcome to the LOU everybody!!! Haha, possible British pun?

(And I get Gal's, you usually carry all that shit with you but never a pen... :shok:)
 

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i have the ability to instantaneously make those around me hate me, or can get changed into another pair of clothes in under 25 seconds

although those might not be useless
 

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I can run amazingly fast, but only in small circles! I can also get dizzy at will!
 

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My fingers have the ability to make metal models fall apart, dissolving glue an green stuff, no matter how firmly they were stuck together. Indeed, my lightest touch has sent many a well glued model cascading in pieces to the floor, to the point where I am all but banned from handling them, however careful I may be :laugh:
 

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Executive Nitpicker
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8,276 Posts
A pen, a tissue, a bus card, a pistol... What kinda cracker hood you in reside, brother?
America. :p
If all the thugs and addicts and right wing paramilitary psychos can have guns, I may as well have one too. The neighborhood itself isn't really that bad, but as evidenced from the rest of my trouser contents, you never know what you might need. If I actually felt I needed a gun to go somewhere I just wouldn't go there.

(And I get Gal's, you usually carry all that shit with you but never a pen... :shok:)
I like to think of myself as an incredibly mundane Batman.
I once assembled an entire work desk using just what I had in my pockets.
And one shoe.
 

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I have arguably the worst superpower EVER.

I ejaculate faster than ANY living man.

Feel the power. Oh yeah.....
 
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