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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
if you can rewrite the heresy which leigons would you have turned traitor and who would you have made remain loyal. personally i would have done the sons of Horus remain loyal, the Word Bearerws remain loyal and start the entire Inquistion under thier auspice when the Emperor is finally dieifed, The arch traitor was revealed to be Lion El'Johnsson and the dark angels, the emperors children would have remained traitors the iron warriors too the ultramarines remain loyal well this is gulliman the raven guard remain loyal but the space wolves turn traitor alongside the world eaters the raven guard and salamanders remain loyal and the night lords but the iron hands and white scars turn traitor the Alpha leigon are the only ones that stay on the outside operating under thier own rules which would make a great 40k version of MI6 or the CIA the Imperial Fists reamin loyal and the blood Angels turn traitor.
whats yours?:wild:
 

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I wouldn`t trust myself with so grand an undertaking.

I probably would have made the final battle a bit more epic though. Spread over a much greater area, and involving maybe a few oppurtunist xeno races as well.

Am I the only one bothered by the fact that the xenos seemed to take a spectator seat when the heresy got going?

As for loyal vs traitor, I think it would be interesting to see the raven guard under the sway of chaos.
 

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Am I the only one bothered by the fact that the xenos seemed to take a spectator seat when the heresy got going?
I always liked that aspect of the Heresy, that it was solely a human affair. After all, the Age of Stife (and subsequent birth of Slaanesh) had not only shattered the Eldar Empire, but countless other civilisations as well. Humanity (under the leadership and direction of the Emperor) was the only species that stood up and inherited the stars, they were the dominant species by the end of the Great Crusade, no other suitable Xenos races could get directly involved.

I always like the phrase in Legion (Page 391):
+ Yes. You are a violent species , human. You threaten quickly. The violence will come later, and will be entirely your business.
Although that having been said, I wouldn't be suprised if the Craftworld Eldar, the Cabal, and other Xenos species opposed to Chaos were involved in some underhand way throughout the Heresy, trying to disrupt Horus' plans/supply routes etc.
 

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The ultra-smurfs would have had to go down for me. An entire region of space close to Galaxy heart turning to chaos.. that would have made for some epic battles. .. that and the smug ass poster boys deserve it.
 

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Well one thing you might have to do is rewrite some the events leading up to the Heresy.

But I do believe someone here on HO has already written their own version of the Heresy lets see if I can find it.

Ah here we are http://www.heresy-online.net/forums/showthread.php?t=31401

However with this version you will find that the Loyalists and Traitor Legion had simply switched places; but its still a good read :victory:

As for myself I would have to take some time to consider how I would write the Heresy and who does what so unfortunately I have to get back to you later :eek:k:
 

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I cannot help but like your Avatar; though im not too sure why... :p

If I was the Emperor, or had some sufficient power to wield during the latter stages of the Great Crusade, I would merely encourage Magnus in his studies into the Eldar Webway, and in turn allow him to help construct an Imperial variant. The problems of sowing the seed`s of jealously amongst the Primarchs by gifting the title of ''Warmaster'' upon one of them, and thus retiring to Terra would be solved, with the Emperor sufficing Magnus` philosphical and inquisitive nature, and not causing discord amongst his son`s by envy towards Horus.

That leaves Fulgrim`s discovery of Laeren, and the debacle surronding Lorgar. The Emperor couldn`t really have prevented a campaign against the Laeren worlds, considering the race`s technological strength and the threat they may cause to surrounding systems. As for Lorgar? I don`t think I could prevent him sundering himself to Chaos without the Emperor fully embracing his supposed ''Godhood'', though that in turn would be in insult to not only the Primarchs and their Legions, but also contradicting one of the very founding pillars of the Crusade.

Of course! This is hypothetical bullshit, and I haven`t read Legion or A Thousand Sons or The First Heretic, yet, so there are perhaps even more reasons to the Heresy`s occurence than I have mentioned.

But realistically, even by wiping the Chaos-worshipping Xenos from the Galaxy, avoiding Warp travel through the Imperial Webway and destroying every last trace of insight on the Age of Strife; the Chaos God`s would still find a way to fuck the fledgling Imperium over.:grin:
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
i like yours too :D yeah some good points i was just thinking first heretic??? not read that didn't even know it was out and i had a giggle ast the idea of Lorgars boys ruling the inquistion every time the word was said out pops Kor Phaeron or Erebus going we are the inquistion....sorta thing but thanks for the input guys appreciate it. made an old woman happy....
 

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I would just kill off the emperor and let chaos rule.
 

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Dark Angels remain loyal but have Luther not fall while the Word Bearers would get the half turn against themselves and Lorgar remain loyal bit.
Magnus quits using sorcery after Nikea and helps the emp with the imperial webway.
World eaters still go crazy for blood for the blood god Khorne.
Raven Gaurd fall to Tzeentch.
Mortarion goes fuck you to the Imperium and seceds from it half of them go with Typhon and worship Nurgle.
Emperors children say fuck off laer.
Blood angels fall to slaanesh.
Horus says WAAA!! daddy left me and does the heresy.
Space wolves go yay we drunk vikings and rape anyone who hates humanity!!
Iron Hands say we love the Mechanicus so go to hell emp.
Sallies go burn baby burn for the emperor still.
Ultramarines fall to chaos undividedI(cuase noone likes the poster boys).
Imperial fists go all chaosy for the good of Dorn.

my five dollars and change.
 

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My Great Heresy

I got a little carried away with some of the details and I had to stop myself otherwise I might have been posting a book; but this is my write up of the Great Heresy. It may be full of wholes and a gaps and some may have a lot of questions; but I think I'll save that for my own thread later on :wink:

Please read, enjoy hope you like it :victory:

1. Lion El’Jonson-Desired the title of Warmaster and soon desired the Emperors throne. His envy was further influenced by the power of chaos and his betrayal turned half of the Emperors legions against him with the influence of convincing lies and xenophobia. The Dark Angels would become fully fledged followers of Tzeentch and Luther would assume command when Jonson was slain by the emperor and what was left of the Dark Angels would flee into the eye of Terror.

2. Fulgrim-Never obtained the xenos-manufactured sword recovered from a Laeran temple. He and Ferrus Manus fought side by side in an attempt to save Horus on Isstvan III. Their legions suffered severe casualty’s as they were ambushed by the Imperial Fists and Iron Warriors. After saving a fatally injured Horus they both fled for Terra to prepare the defenses. On Terra Fulgrim and Ferrus Manus dueled with the Daemon Primarch Angron and he was slayed. Despite the slaying of Angron Fulgrim died sacrificing himself for his brother Ferrus.

3. Perturabo-Peturabo needed little persuasion to join the Lion he relished with the sight of Dorn destroying the defenses he had so eagerly constructed. After hearing of the Lions death Peturabo and his Iron Warriors fled into the Eye of Terror

4. Jaghatai Khan-Feeling that the Emperor had grown complacent Khan had joined the Lion without hesitation and went to gain the favor of Russ. Russ turned on Khan and both the White Scars and the Space Wolves were locked in battle on Fenris for the remainder of the Heresy until Khan had fled into the Eye of Terror.

5. Leman Russ-Enraged by Jaghatai Khan’s proposal for betrayal in favor of the Lion, Russ remained loyal and battled the White Scars and drove them into the Eye of Terror.

6. Rogal Dorn-Convinced by Jonson’s lies that the Emperor conspired with xenos in constructing a secret portal on Terra, Dorn revealed the weaknesses of the Imperial Palace. Joining the Iron Warriors in the assault Dorn dueled with and killed Vulkan the primarch of the Salamanders. Dorn was forced to flee into the Eye of Terror his legion is renamed the Black Fists.

7. Konrad Curze/Night Haunter-Jonson is unaware of the Night Haunters intentions until he receives word that Curze and his Night Lords have attacked Prospero in an attempt to stop Magnus from contacting the Emperor. After Magnus and his Thousand Sons flee to Terra Curze defiles Prospero and soon follows after Magnus. His legion becomes dedicated followers of Slaanesh. On Terra the Night Lords are never seen attacking the Imperial Palace; but are instead killing off the local population.

8. Sanguinius-Sanguinius joined in the defense of Holy Terra and along with the Emperor he boarded the Lions flagship only to be separated from the Emperor. When he found the Emperor and the slain Lion Sanguinius escaped with the Emperors body returning to the Imperial Palace to place the Emperor in the golden throne. Sanguinius would then watch over his brother primarch Horus who felt disgraced and ashamed.

9. Ferrus Manus-He and Fulgrim fought side by side in an attempt to save Horus on Isstvan III. Their legions suffered severe casualty’s as they were ambushed by the Imperial Fists and Iron Warriors. After saving a fatally injured Horus they both fled for Terra to prepare the defenses. On Terra Fulgrim and Ferrus Manus dueled with the Daemon Primarch Angron and he was slayed. Despite the slaying of Angron Fulgrim died sacrificing himself for his brother Ferrus.

10. Angron-Conspired with Jonson to turn on Horus and his legion. Angron and Mortarion would turn on Horus at Isstvan III in hopes of eliminating the Warmaster. They almost succeeded; but due to the valiant rescue of Fulgrim and Ferrus Manus they failed. Later Angron would assault Holy Terra as a Daemon Primarch and meet his death; but not before striking Fulgrim a killing blow.

11. Roboute Guilliman-Remaining loyal to the Emperor Guilliman would learn of the Lions betrayal and his experiences sabotage carried out by the Raven Guard. The Raven Guard managed to hold the Ultramarines back until Guilliman slays Corax. Badly wounded from his duel with Corax Guilliman drives on to Terra only to be ashamed as he arrives too late and the battle is over. Guilliman is given control by Horus where he then writes the Codex Astartes.

12. Mortarion- Conspired with Jonson to turn on Horus and his legion. Angron and Mortarion would turn on Horus at Isstvan III in hopes of eliminating the Warmaster. They almost succeeded; but due to the valiant rescue of Fulgrim and Ferrus Manus they failed. Mortarion would then join in the carnage on Terra. Facing off against Lorgar’s Word Bearers Mortarion was hoping to slay the Zealous Primarch; but they never come face to face. After the lions death Mortarion and his plaguemarines fled into the Eye of Terror.

13. Magnus the Red-Attacked by the Night Haunter as Magnus attempted to warn the Emperor Prospero is destroyed by the Night Lords as Magnus flees to terra. Once on Terra Magnus defends the Imperial Palace and when the Emperor went to face Lion El’Jonson Magnus took his place in the golden throne. After Sanguinius returned with the Emperor Magnus relinquished the throne and vowed to seek out and destroy sorcery wherever it may reside.

14. Horus-Just barely escaping death on Davin only to be betrayed by his brother primarchs on Isstvan III. With his legion almost virtually annihilated Horus is severely injured and almost dies on Terra during the siege. When he regains consciousness after the battle has ended and he is stroke down with grief and despite his brother primarchs request to take command he refuses and gives control to Guilliman.

15. Lorgar-Uneffected by the reprimand of the Emperor Lorgar continued to praise more fervently than ever and when news of Jonsons betrayal reached him he set off for Terra to defend the Emperor. When Lorgar learned the Alpha Legion did not come to the aid of Horus he sent Erebus to question the motives who foolishly attacked the Alpha Legion. During the defense of Terra the zealotry of the Word Bearers was far greater than any expected. After the Emperor had slain the Lion and was returned to the golden throne Lorgar continued to pursue the traitor legions diligently.

16. Vulkan-Vulkan learned of the Lions betrayal when he was asked by Lorgar to join him in the defense of Terra. During the siege Vulkan dueled with Rogal Dorn and was slain before his legion.

17. Corax-Showing disfavor towards Horus Jonson needed little effort to turn him and the Raven Guard. During the Heresy Corax sabotaged the Ultramarines and attack as they attempted to keep them from reaching Terra. They were very cunning and successful until Guilliman faced off against Corax and killed him. After the Great Heresy the Raven Guard were scattered accrossed the galaxy.

18. Apharius Omegon-Apharius and Omegon had disagreed and squabbled over the idea of betraying the Emperor and when they did not come to the aid of Horus as directed they found themselves under attack by large a contingent of Word Bearers and fanatical worshippers of the Emperor. The Alpha Legion repelled the attack and joined the Lion in his assault on Terra. After the Lions death the Alpha Legion was divided between Alpharius and Omegon and went their separate ways.
 

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I got a little carried away with some of the details and I had to stop myself otherwise I might have been posting a book; but this is my write up of the Great Heresy. It may be full of wholes and a gaps and some may have a lot of questions; but I think I'll save that for my own thread later on :wink:

Please read, enjoy hope you like it :victory:

1. Lion El’Jonson-Desired the title of Warmaster and soon desired the Emperors throne. His envy was further influenced by the power of chaos and his betrayal turned half of the Emperors legions against him with the influence of convincing lies and xenophobia. The Dark Angels would become fully fledged followers of Tzeentch and Luther would assume command when Jonson was slain by the emperor and what was left of the Dark Angels would flee into the eye of Terror.

It is obvious from Descent of Angels from the introduction of The Lion, that his colossal arrogance and haughty, if not drastically overrated opinion of himself, bred about by The Order, would cause him to deem himself worthy of the title of 'Warmaster'. However, why would this opportunity ever come about? The title of 'Warmaster' would never be gifted to the Primarch`s, if the Emperor found a solution to both the construction of the Imperial Webway, whilst remaining at the forefront of the Crusade to manage the conflicting opinion of his Sons. The fall of Lion El`Jonson does seem likely, although their newfound allegiance to Tzeentch contradicts the xenophobic mantra`s of the Orders of Caliban. The purging of the Beasts - who are clearly warped and mutated by the power of the Warp - held a high disgust by The Lion, and Tzeentch`s ever-changing, mutating nature would not find root amongst The Lion`s, or the Dark Angels doctrines of faith nor demeanour. I feel that Lion El`Jonson would retain a Chaotic-neutrality of that of Horus from Isstvan III onwards; a clear loathing of Daemonic forces and the more corrupting predations of Chaos.

Luther clearly held resentment against The Lion for casting the unconquerable shadow over his own plethora of achievements. Adding to the drastic changes upon Caliban`s society, culture and independence by the Imperium, induced by Lion El`Jonson`s own concurrence would lead to civil-war no matter the outcome. Caliban would merely have become the Isstvan III of Lion El`Jonson`s forces.

2. Fulgrim-Never obtained the xenos-manufactured sword recovered from a Laeran temple. He and Ferrus Manus fought side by side in an attempt to save Horus on Isstvan III. Their legions suffered severe casualty’s as they were ambushed by the Imperial Fists and Iron Warriors. After saving a fatally injured Horus they both fled for Terra to prepare the defenses. On Terra Fulgrim and Ferrus Manus dueled with the Daemon Primarch Angron and he was slayed. Despite the slaying of Angron Fulgrim died sacrificing himself for his brother Ferrus.

Again, I accept this is your account, but the presence of various Legion`s upon Isstvan III is ludicrous. The Iron Hand`s were never called to Isstvan III if I remember, instead fighting Ork-held worlds and orbital-satellites many light-years from the Isstvan system. Also the Iron Hands fleet was paralyzed and Ferrus Manus wounded by Fulgrim until their foolhardy haste towards Isstvan V with their ultimate destruction. Without the corruption of Laeren -although how to avoid the Slaaneshi Xenos in the beginning need`s to be acknowledged- The Emperor`s Children would indeed have fought valiantly with the Iron Hands. Angron`s fall to Khorne is inevitable. Their bloody-minded butchery is too similar to ignore, and spurned either by Horus, Lorgar or Lion El`Jonson, the World Eaters lapsing into Chaos is one of the more solid occurrences of any Horus Heresy variation. But again, without Isstvan V and the utter slaughter of the Iron Hands (and thus the taking of Mars) and the brutal decimation of the Salamanders and Raven Guard, any Traitorous Crusade hell-bent on Terra would fail to reach the birthplace of humanity in any feasible number. The Death Guard, Imperial Fists and many more would defend Ultima Segmentum before any attack on Terra. You must remember that the Dropsite-Massacre bloodily carved Horus a route to Terra, and without it, any treacherous Warmaster would fail to pierce the heart of the Imperium.

Angron`s death? This... ‘‘Thing''... is a God of Battle. In brute strength perhaps only Horus could match him, in skill-of-arms perhaps only Sanguinus. I don`t doubt the combined strength of Fulgrim and Ferrus, I merely see Angron as unstoppable.

3. Perturabo-Peturabo needed little persuasion to join the Lion he relished with the sight of Dorn destroying the defenses he had so eagerly constructed. After hearing of the Lions death Peturabo and his Iron Warriors fled into the Eye of Terror

Perturabo is like Angron and Lion El`Jonson. Perhaps not as haughty as the former, or violent as the latter, but his loathing of Dorn and eagerness to tear down the creation of the Imperial Fists, would lead to a conflict no matter who held the mantle of Warmaster.


4. Jaghatai Khan-Feeling that the Emperor had grown complacent Khan had joined the Lion without hesitation and went to gain the favor of Russ. Russ turned on Khan and both the White Scars and the Space Wolves were locked in battle on Fenris for the remainder of the Heresy until Khan had fled into the Eye of Terror.


5. Leman Russ-Enraged by Jaghatai Khan’s proposal for betrayal in favor of the Lion, Russ remained loyal and battled the White Scars and drove them into the Eye of Terror.


I don`t know much about Khan, or even the White Scars, but they are reminiscent of the Space Wolves: Grim, violent but upholding up the Imperium` laws and the Emperor`s manifested will. I doubt any fall would occur within these bitterly loyal Legions, hence Horus` absolute determination to bind them by a war against the Alpha Legion during his thrust for Terra.

6. Rogal Dorn-Convinced by Jonson’s lies that the Emperor conspired with xenos in constructing a secret portal on Terra, Dorn revealed the weaknesses of the Imperial Palace. Joining the Iron Warriors in the assault Dorn dueled with and killed Vulkan the primarch of the Salamanders. Dorn was forced to flee into the Eye of Terror his legion is renamed the Black Fists.

Rogal Dorn of the Imperial Fists is resolute in his determination and faith in the Emperor. If the Emperor had indeed fallen back to Terra to construct the Imperial Webway and thus ascend humanity away from Warp-travel, this would be ramified more so. Perturabo`s inevitable want to batter down the Imperial Fists would drive Dorn to sally with the Emperor. Weaknesses of the Imperial Palace? Until Horus` treachery in the Isstvan system, the Imperial Palace, was but a Palace; a beacon of hope and the epitome of the Imperium`s artistry. Until Dorn began to fortify it, it was not capable of sustained Siege anyway.

7. Konrad Curze/Night Haunter-Jonson is unaware of the Night Haunters intentions until he receives word that Curze and his Night Lords have attacked Prospero in an attempt to stop Magnus from contacting the Emperor. After Magnus and his Thousand Sons flee to Terra Curze defiles Prospero and soon follows after Magnus. His legion becomes dedicated followers of Slaanesh. On Terra the Night Lords are never seen attacking the Imperial Palace; but are instead killing off the local population.

Konrad Curze was a anti-hero of justice, and strived for righteousness by more darker means. Until his so-called ''abandonment'' by his Father, the Emperor, he would not have fallen to any of the predation of envy, jealously, hatred of so-forth. Even though he eventually did, the Night Lord`s remained resolute against the taint of Chaos. See Soul Hunter, I’m not much of a Night Lord`s fan, so may jab Lord of the Night or Child-of-the-Emperor with a hot-poker to ramify this point:biggrin:. Magnus` loyalty was paramount. Without Horus` idiocy and more leniency by the Emperor, he and the Thousand Sons would have remained loyal. Night Lord`s attacking Prospero? It would certainly fit in with their pre-emptive mantra of war, but surely their current galactic position in symphony with the location of Prospero would make such an Endeavour impossible?

8. Sanguinius-Sanguinius joined in the defense of Holy Terra and along with the Emperor he boarded the Lions flagship only to be separated from the Emperor. When he found the Emperor and the slain Lion Sanguinius escaped with the Emperors body returning to the Imperial Palace to place the Emperor in the golden throne. Sanguinius would then watch over his brother primarch Horus who felt disgraced and ashamed.

Sanguinus in single-combat would be far the superior of The Lion. Without his wounding by Ka`Bandha, even his infamous duel against Horus would have been far closer and bloody. After crushing disloyal infractions on Caliban, The Lion`s assault on Terra is certainly feasible, but surely without the Anvil that is the Death Guard and the Hammer of the World Eaters, such an undertaking would be nigh on impossible?

9. Ferrus Manus-He and Fulgrim fought side by side in an attempt to save Horus on Isstvan III. Their legions suffered severe casualty’s as they were ambushed by the Imperial Fists and Iron Warriors. After saving a fatally injured Horus they both fled for Terra to prepare the defenses. On Terra Fulgrim and Ferrus Manus dueled with the Daemon Primarch Angron and he was slayed. Despite the slaying of Angron Fulgrim died sacrificing himself for his brother Ferrus.

It suffices the Legion`s displacement during the latter stages of the Great Crusade more-so than the other theories, but to keep up my theme of correction:victory: I doubt Angron would have been elevated to Daemonhood quite so soon; having proved nothing major to grant him Daemonification by Khorne.

10. Angron-Conspired with Jonson to turn on Horus and his legion. Angron and Mortarion would turn on Horus at Isstvan III in hopes of eliminating the Warmaster. They almost succeeded; but due to the valiant rescue of Fulgrim and Ferrus Manus they failed. Later Angron would assault Holy Terra as a Daemon Primarch and meet his death; but not before striking Fulgrim a killing blow.

11. Roboute Guilliman-Remaining loyal to the Emperor Guilliman would learn of the Lions betrayal and his experiences sabotage carried out by the Raven Guard. The Raven Guard managed to hold the Ultramarines back until Guilliman slays Corax. Badly wounded from his duel with Corax Guilliman drives on to Terra only to be ashamed as he arrives too late and the battle is over. Guilliman is given control by Horus where he then writes the Codex Astartes.

12. Mortarion- Conspired with Jonson to turn on Horus and his legion. Angron and Mortarion would turn on Horus at Isstvan III in hopes of eliminating the Warmaster. They almost succeeded; but due to the valiant rescue of Fulgrim and Ferrus Manus they failed. Mortarion would then join in the carnage on Terra. Facing off against Lorgar’s Word Bearers Mortarion was hoping to slay the Zealous Primarch; but they never come face to face. After the lions death Mortarion and his plaguemarines fled into the Eye of Terror.

I like this theory. The continued righteous approach by Horus and the Luna Wolves/Sons of Horus is certainly enjoyable. But the vile wretch known as Erebus, and Lorgar`s fall must be accounted for, for Horus` continued loyality.

13. Magnus the Red-Attacked by the Night Haunter as Magnus attempted to warn the Emperor Prospero is destroyed by the Night Lords as Magnus flees to terra. Once on Terra Magnus defends the Imperial Palace and when the Emperor went to face Lion El’Jonson Magnus took his place in the golden throne. After Sanguinius returned with the Emperor Magnus relinquished the throne and vowed to seek out and destroy sorcery wherever it may reside.

14. Horus-Just barely escaping death on Davin only to be betrayed by his brother primarchs on Isstvan III. With his legion almost virtually annihilated Horus is severely injured and almost dies on Terra during the siege. When he regains consciousness after the battle has ended and he is stroke down with grief and despite his brother primarchs request to take command he refuses and gives control to Guilliman.

Now here, is the contradiction. Horus and the Sons of Horus (after the Interex Campaign) would not have even touched Davin or its Necrotic Moon had it not been for the slandering of Erebus. However, with Lorgar`s continued loyalty below, how would Horus have fallen under the sway of Chaos? I doubt The Lion`s arrogant views could have swayed him.

15. Lorgar-Uneffected by the reprimand of the Emperor Lorgar continued to praise more fervently than ever and when news of Jonsons betrayal reached him he set off for Terra to defend the Emperor. When Lorgar learned the Alpha Legion did not come to the aid of Horus he sent Erebus to question the motives who foolishly attacked the Alpha Legion. During the defense of Terra the zealotry of the Word Bearers was far greater than any expected. After the Emperor had slain the Lion and was returned to the golden throne Lorgar continued to pursue the traitor legions diligently.

16. Vulkan-Vulkan learned of the Lions betrayal when he was asked by Lorgar to join him in the defense of Terra. During the siege Vulkan dueled with Rogal Dorn and was slain before his legion.

17. Corax-Showing disfavor towards Horus Jonson needed little effort to turn him and the Raven Guard. During the Heresy Corax sabotaged the Ultramarines and attack as they attempted to keep them from reaching Terra. They were very cunning and successful until Guilliman faced off against Corax and killed him. After the Great Heresy the Raven Guard were scattered accrossed the galaxy.

18. Apharius Omegon-Apharius and Omegon had disagreed and squabbled over the idea of betraying the Emperor and when they did not come to the aid of Horus as directed they found themselves under attack by large a contingent of Word Bearers and fanatical worshippers of the Emperor. The Alpha Legion repelled the attack and joined the Lion in his assault on Terra. After the Lions death the Alpha Legion was divided between Alpharius and Omegon and went their separate ways.
There are several more area`s I feel have not been done justice on your post, but otherwise I feel its an interesting theory. I disagree strongly with a whole plethora of points, but I feel that your post is strongly written, if a little ignorant of the Emperor`s withdrawel and thus sowing the seed`s of jealousy and the monopoly of corruption induced by Lorgar`s reprimand.
 

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There are several more area`s I feel have not been done justice on your post, but otherwise I feel its an interesting theory. I disagree strongly with a whole plethora of points, but I feel that your post is strongly written, if a little ignorant of the Emperor`s withdrawel and thus sowing the seed`s of jealousy and the monopoly of corruption induced by Lorgar`s reprimand.
Wow I don't think I have ever experienced someone attack an incomplete rewrite of a vital piece of fluff before. Especially after the author has admitted to leaving wholes and gaps which would more then likely make up for all the missing details :scratchhead: Nope never experienced it before.

I understand your points of argument and know them very well; but they are meaningless. As you said it is my account of a fluff that has been rewritten for the purpose of this thread. Because the Heresy itself has been rewritten in my own way and after I had said earlier that one may have to rewrite events leading up to the Heresy which could include character behavior. Well then trying to use facts and knowledge of the current Heresy fluff to justify your arguments against me holds no ground.

I thank you for your criticism and objective arguments :victory: They do make me want write this all out and in full detail :drinks:
 

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I thank you for your criticism and objective arguments :victory: They do make me want write this all out and in full detail :drinks:
Ive got no objections to that at all, infact I encourage such a task. There are plenty of Horus Heresy variant`s in abundance, to see another would be interesting.:wink:
 

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The biggest problem I found when writing my Heresy was and I am sure for most is deciding which Primarchs are to become traitors and which are to maintain their loyalty. Although choosing at random or simply picking the ones you like best is easy and simple, just explaining why and how are much more difficult. Thats why I didn't go random and well I probably could have gone with the Primarchs I liked most; but base points of my current rewrite flashed threw my mind and I thought I would have a more creative fluff piece so I went with it. I know Dorn has to throw everybody off as being a traitor but for some reason it flashed in my mind so I came up with an excuse for his betrayal and that was that.

If I were to go with the Primarchs I liked then my alternative Heresy would have been with the following as the Loyalist: Ferrus Manus, Leman Russ, Jaghatai Khan, Konrad Curze, Angron, Magnus the Red, Sanguinius and Horus

And of course the following would be the traitors: Lion El'Jonson, Roboute Guilliman, Mortarion, Vulkan, Peturabo, Fugrim, Corax, Apharius Omegon and Lorgar

Then again going off of the primarchs I like best might be a bad idea I suppose I could just go off their Legions instead. For example I like the Word Bearers more then I like the Night Lords; but I like Night Haunter more then I like Lorgar. I don't know if I am making any sense to anyone; but yeah I suppose I am just rambling :p
 

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I am in the middle of re-writting a older piece of my fluff, currently I have only down two Legions and am working on the third later:

Legion I: The Dark Angels.

Caliban was a verdant world, one rife with the Chaotic natures of the Baleful Eye. The capsule of Lion El’Jonson was cast onto this world, the twisted messengers of Tzeentch weaving a path through the waning Warp and onto this world. For seven years he hunted alone, isolated from the small pockets of human life upon Caliban. The hostile beings of the forests kept El’Jonson constantly alerted, and it was only when he killed a group of fur clad hunters which he believed to be beasts, did the Calibanites realise that they needed to destroy them.

Led by the enigmatic Knight, Luther, a expedition pushed deep into the dwellings of the creatures. He killed untold amounts, slaughtering entire species during the space of three years. At the pinnacle of the third, while riding with two of his trusted companions, he came across a giant amongst the foliage. El’Jonson was said to have snapped the neck of one Knight in rage, and left the other battered and bloody but it was Luther that he could know harm. Nor could Luther lay harm upon the golden haired child before him.

They simply stared for hours, neither making the first move until the injured Knight stirred from his injured state. He had leapt at El’Jonson in a fit of madness, but Luther intervened and cut his friend down. This was the act which had him cast from The Order, and he was banished to travel the wilds of Caliban. Initially he had not intended the Primarch, albeit a unknown one, to follow him however he could not keep the youth away. The Order had become tyrannical in the times which Luther had been absent, and entire villages had been pillaged or simply destroyed.

The Calibanites became enraged but with no leader there was little they could do. That was until Luther and El’Jonson returned from a crusade against a Calibanite Lion den, deep in the cold north. The two assembled the men of some eighteen villages, over a thousand to be precise, and launched a siege against the fortress of The Order, known as the Rock. It lasted for several months as the barely armed peasantry clambered up and down the walls methodically, and it was not until the end of the eighth month that The Order made their move.

Eighty mounted Knights charged from the primary portcullis with banners fluttering. The walkway which they charged down sent peasants tumbling into the depths below, and only one being stood in their way with a axe in hand. Lion El’Jonson. With each swing he took he sent the Knights flying away, cleaved apart by mighty hacks. He held it alone as his forces fled under the watch of Luther, buying his fellows enough time too organize a counter attack. With the few mounted horsemen that Luther could muster, he led them back up the walkway and into the line of Knights.

El’Jonson ran side by side with powerful steeds that day, destroying Knights of The Order in a brutal dance. When the rebels breached the Rock, the battles within lasted a scarce nine hours. No Knights were gifted mercy, and instead El’Jonson ordered each one to be tortured and that they would take as long in hours as each of them had killed or raped from the villages. A month passed and the twin ruling of El’Jonson and Luther had led the lands surrounding their new fortress in great prosperity. It was then that a great tide fell upon the horizon.

Luther knew them well, recognizing their fur covered armoured forms almost instantly. The Knights of Lupus. Luther had some form of history with these, having served with them during a previous crusade and was overjoyed when he realised that they came under banners of peace. With the Knights of Lupus now joining El’Jonson and Luther it became apparent that none could stand against him. For a further year peace reigned on Caliban, and it was then that the God-Emperor of Mankind arrived.

With him he brought the First Legion, a mighty series of gene-enhanced humans who dwarfed all on Caliban bar El’Jonson himself. The Calibanites showed hostility towards the newcomers however, with the Grand Master of the Knights of Lupus, Sartana, withdrawing from the company of the aptly named Space Marines. El’Jonson gave up many children of Caliban to join his Legion, and for ten years the Dark Angels, as they had became known in memory of the fallen, grew greatly. Luther and several older members of El’Jonson’s followers could not withstand the Gene-Seed though and were “upgraded” by the Legion Apothecaries so that they could rival the Astartes.

The first years of the Dark Angels have long since been lost to the annals of time, but it is known that El’Jonson was a ruthless commander who’s tactical victories grew until they fell only behind Horus Lupercal and Rogal Dorn. After a particularly bad campaign which left the Legion mauled, El’Jonson returned to Caliban wanting to bolster his ranks. When he arrived, he found his world enthralled in Xeno of the Warp, Daemons. He bombarded his world into ash, destroying the Rock and various over monasteries in the process.

Angered and longing for the blood of those who had ruined his world, he led his mighty First Company onto the planet. What conspired during these times is unknown, but El’Jonson was corrupted beyond belief by the Chaos God Tzeentch. Luther and the loyal elements of the Legion could not see this, and slowly like a festering cancer the taint spread throughout the ranks. When news of Rogal Dorn’s treachery reached the ears of Luther, he immediately took it to his Primarch. When the Lion was unwilling to lend his aid against Dorn, Luther was horrified.

He took the matter to the Lodges of the Legion, primarily the Ravenwing of Belath. The Chapter Master accused Luther of tainting the ranks of the Dark Angels with incoherent babbling and had him locked away along with the majority of Terran Legionnaires, mainly the five hundred veterans under Master Astelan. For the fist time in the history of the Dark Angels, brother threatened brother. Astelan and Luther drew together a plan as the First Legion maneuvered towards the fortress world of Inwit, where the turncoats of Dorn were gathering their forces. It was during the transit between pitiful Caliban and mighty Inwit that the plan was sprung.

The Terran borne Astartes broke free of their holding pens aboard the Sword of the Emperor and mass hysteria spread across the fleet. Chief Librarian Israfael, one of the few Terran’s who had not been locked away, aided the escapees by preparing a Cruiser for their escape but before he himself could leave the raging El’Jonson flayed him with his newly gifted abilities. Astelan and Luther ordered their forces under Captain Remiel to escape, while they turned and pushed deep into the mighty vessel. They met their fallen Primarch in combat within his arched throne room.

Astelan killed the traitor Belath with greet glee and held back the Ravenwing while Luther pushed towards the Primarch himself. The ensuing duel was perhaps one of the greatest in history as the Primarch took to his sword, a last sense of honour not allowing him to simply destroy his adoptive father. Astelan was gunned down at the doorway by the members of the First Company, leaving Luther stranded alone upon the flagship. Before El’Jonson cleaved his head from his shoulders, Luther did manage to impale the primary heart of the Primarch. It proved to be a mortal wound, and El’Jonson’s enhanced form could not compensate for such a thing.

Tzeentch saw his opening and devoured the soul of his champion, enthralling him under the watch of his greatest Daemon. For the Terran’s who had managed to escape, they had a more painful fate. The shields of the Cruiser they had boarded failed and allowed the Daemons of the Warp inwards, and while Remiel desperately tried to get as much Marines as he could to safety, he was too struck down by the fell hand of Tzeentch. Barely eighty Marines managed to escape from the Warp in a Stormbird, where they were doomed to stasis pods.

The arrival at Inwit was one of no glory. No parades were held and the now cerulean armoured Dark Angels simply slipped into their moorings and practiced their foul Magik. The Legion went on to serve at Terra under Dorn and later attacked Prospero to grow in favour of Tzeentch. As for the few loyalists, it is unknown what became of them, bar a slight mention of a lone Stormbird floating between the stars, hunting the Fallen Angels of El’Jonson.

Legion III: Emperor’s Children/Black Templars.

Long acclaimed as some of the greatest talented Astartes which would ever come into the light of the Imperium, the Emperor’s Children are famed as the Protectors of Chemos. A refinery world which was forever cast in grey by the polluted skies, Chemos was a place of forced labour and hardship. Primarch Fulgrim landed in the city of Callax, a relatively rich and powerful place which oversaw the work of those beneath them. He was taken in by a powerful general and taught about the ways of the warrior, however he took a keening interest in art and music.

Fifteen years passed before the Emperor arrived and found Fulgrim at the head of the planets military. He had abolished the former government and ended the forced labour, thus halting the fuel being imported into a large proportion of the Imperial Navy. The Emperor was furious and brought with him a contingent of his Adeptus Custodes, expecting to find a rebellion in full swing. Instead he found a peaceful world, one of which had no violence permitted and no fortresses bar Callax herself. Instead he found opera houses and amphitheatres. A teleportation device allowed him to enter the cathedral halls of Callax, where he found his long lost son in deep prayer.

It was said that the Emperor was shocked by the beauty of his son, and immediately saw him as a true son of the Emperor. He spent many weeks with Fulgrim until his Third Legion could arrive, and he gifted them with the name of Emperor’s Children due to the staggering appearance Fulgrim and the Emperor shared. His Legion was not the most numerous, nor was it the strongest, but Fulgrim loved each of his newfound sons greatly. Chemos became a fortress world, something which Fulgrim did not want, but evidently could not halt.

Great swathes of the population were inducted as Astartes, and Fulgrim elected his own council. Eidolon, Vespasian, Cyrius and Lucius the Great are perhaps the most famed, but in all the Council of the Phoenix numbered some eighteen Marines of high rank within the Children. The Phoenix was adopted as the Legion’s icon, and it was emblazoned upon each piece of armour and weapon to show their allegiances was to Fulgrim and the Emperor alone. During the Great Crusade, the Children of Chemos played a relatively small role.

Mostly supporting larger Legions and defending Chemos from piratical raids, the Children would never come to any real knowledge. It was the Imperial Fists of Dorn which attacked Chemos. While the vast Chaos aligned fleet passed by they bombarded the world without mercy. The clouds of Chemos exploded, the fuel particles which they harbored not being able to take such fury, and a rain of flame fell upon the heads of those bellow. Fulgrim was said to have sat alone in the great gardens of Callax as they burned, staring into the heavens.

The Lord Commanders desperately tried to save the population of their stricken world as it fell apart around them but Fulgrim ordered the operation to be abandoned. In these moments he forced the few surviving remnants of his Legion onto the ships which had survived, telling them:

‘We have been dealt a great blow my sons. Our world dies around us, a mere glowing ember in the mighty sea of stars. I am destined to fall here, as are many others. You however are not. Flee with the winds and move on Terra, my Father needs your bolters and blades. Now go, my foolish sons. I will see you all again’

With tearful eyes the Children heeded their fathers words as he marched back into Callax, surrounded by his Phoenix Guard and First Company. The obsidian skinned Salamanders met them in combat as the last remnants of the Emperor’s Children fled too Terra, their world burning to a crisp behind them. At Terra the Emperor’s Children stood guard over the Eternal Gate, their armour painted black in remembrance for their dead brethren. Renamed the Black Templars by Eidolon, to show their never-ending Crusade for revenge and remembrance, they are famed as the stoic defenders of Terra. After the Chaotic forces had fled into the Baleful Eye, Eidolon and Vespasian, the twin rulers of the Children, divided their forces equally into Black Crusades and splintered across the galaxy. Chemos itself is a cursed world, one of which the Black Templars do not set eyes upon.

These are just general overviews, each of the Legions will get an Index Astartes like article done eventually and the characters will be fleshed out, all comments are welcome :)
 

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The biggest problem I found when writing my Heresy was and I am sure for most is deciding which Primarchs are to become traitors and which are to maintain their loyalty. Although choosing at random or simply picking the ones you like best is easy and simple, just explaining why and how are much more difficult. Thats why I didn't go random and well I probably could have gone with the Primarchs I liked most; but base points of my current rewrite flashed threw my mind and I thought I would have a more creative fluff piece so I went with it. I know Dorn has to throw everybody off as being a traitor but for some reason it flashed in my mind so I came up with an excuse for his betrayal and that was that.

If I were to go with the Primarchs I liked then my alternative Heresy would have been with the following as the Loyalist: Ferrus Manus, Leman Russ, Jaghatai Khan, Konrad Curze, Angron, Magnus the Red, Sanguinius and Horus

And of course the following would be the traitors: Lion El'Jonson, Roboute Guilliman, Mortarion, Vulkan, Peturabo, Fugrim, Corax, Apharius Omegon and Lorgar

Then again going off of the primarchs I like best might be a bad idea I suppose I could just go off their Legions instead. For example I like the Word Bearers more then I like the Night Lords; but I like Night Haunter more then I like Lorgar. I don't know if I am making any sense to anyone; but yeah I suppose I am just rambling :p
You must also consider Warp-travel. How the predatorial nature of Chaos affects Loyalist Legions and their armarda`s, and Traitors differently. Chaos-fleets still require Navigators to navigate the roiling turbulence of the Warp, but such turbulence is often more tamed and very rarely impassable, hence their allegiance to the Ruinous Powers, and the negatory affects upon Loyalists.

Horus struck a hammer blow agaist the Imperium at Isstvan V, after the decimation of his own, and brother Primarch`s Legions at Isstvan III. Through the utter destruction of the Iron Hands, and massacre of the Raven Guard and Salamander`s, he carved himself a corridor towards Terra. However, it still took the Traitor`s another seven years to reach, and thus besiege Terra, with that same time-span for the Imperium to gather its fledgling Legions in primary-defense, and secondary-relief forces.

That is why I was so against the Night Lord Legion assaulting Prospero. During the latter stages of the Great Crusade and the declaration of the Heresy at Isstvan III, the Thousand Sons were upon Prospero engaged against the Space Wolves, some time after Horus was raptured upon Davin. However, the Night Lord`s were upon the Eastern Fringe, I believe enacting a campaign of Genocide, culminating with fighting against the Dark Angels. To skip from the Eastern Fringe to Prospero, which is rather close to Terra in terms of the scale of the Galaxy, isn`t really feasible.:)

I admire Dark Angels effort. The destruction of The Order upon Caliban shows how if Lion El`Jonson had sided with one of the more ancient Knightly Order`s, the outcome and attitudes of the Dark Angel`s could have been so very different. And also the Emperor`s Children, remaining as a loyalist and succinct Legion, and taking up a more Imperial-Fist like demeanour, with Eidolon leading a Crusade like the Templars of ''today''.

I don`t want to sound like to much of a Prick, but having studied both Chemistry and History in quiet high circumstances, im just used to hurling variables, sources, evidence and so forth at everything:victory:
 

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when i first posted this i had no idea that such a plethora of ideas would come foward i am certainly amazed at everyones point of view valid as each one is and would love to see some of them written up i think they would make great tales of alternative histories but well done to everyone i so impressed and my knowledge of warhammer 40k whilst i thought quite considerable has just gone up a notch or two:drinks::drinks::victory:
 

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Im to lazy to go in detail.
What can I say Pnurgle is the best.

Lion El'Jonson Nurgle Traitor
Fulgri Loyal
Perturabo Loyal
Jaghatai Khan-Traitor
Leman Russ- Khorn Traitor
Rogal Dorn- Smae
Konrad Curze Loyal
Sanguinius Slaanesh
Ferrus Manus - Loyal
Angron Khorn
Roboute Traitor
Mortarion Loyal
Magnus the Red Loyal
Horus Nurgle Traitor
Lorgar Tzeentch
Vulkan Nurgle Traitor
Corax Loyal
Alpharius Loyal
 

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Another one for you to cast your claws into, I doubt I will be posting any more here now, they will be getting their own thread when I reach eight of these:

Legion IV: Iron Warriors.

Primarch Perturabo of the Iron Warriors landed upon a hospitable world. Olympia was a rugged world of high peaks and narrow ravines, and one completely devoid of open expanses. Atop many peaks, or nestled between them on giant struts, rested the City-States. Lochos was that which Perturabo came, and it was ruled by loved Dammekos, who attempted to bring the young child into his household. Perturabo accepted barely, albeit he hated Dammekos for denying him the chance of a normal life. He disliked the parades that he was forced to attend, and with each passing one he longed for his fathers blood more.

On his fifteenth year, Perturabo had assumed overall command of the elitist Black Judges Regiments that provided a protection force for the family of Dammekos. He festered hatred amongst them, entwining each of the Regiments with his own disaccord. On the eve of his sixteenth year he finally sprung his coup. The Black Judges sprung on Lochos, cordoning off the Palace where Dammekos was housed and pushing the civilian population back onto the boundaries. The Black Judges who remained loyal were gunned down in the opening stages, although small bands did manage to isolate themselves and move on Dammekos’ position.

The loyalists under Dammekos expected one of the generals of the Black Judges to be leading the rebels, but instead they Perturabo at the front, mounted within an archaic set of powered armour. The battle for the palace was fierce as Perturabo led rapid assaults, each one of which were swiped away by the automatons mounted within the walls. It became apparent he would need to lay siege, and left his Black Judges too make sure Dammekos stayed in place. He traveled Olympia, forging alliances between City-States such as venerable Athenania and mighty Acanthus.

When Perturabo returned to Lochos, he brought with him an army of various nations and cultures. What they found disappointed Perturabo greatly however. In his absence the citizens of Lochos had turned on the Judges and slaughtered them, allowing Dammekos and his loyalists to regain control of the peak top city. Artillery reigned down upon the heads of Perturabo’s forces as he drew nearer, and the casualties sustained were abysmal.

Using the cannons of Archanae, Perturabo managed to bring the walls of Lochos down however he lost several hundred of his men in a landslide of manmade debris, including the majority of the lithe Archanae. The siege was a continuous one for several years, with Perturabo refusing to allow his adoptive father to escape the world alive. The anteroom of the grand palace of Lochos would become the cities downfall. On the fifth year of the siege, Perturabo led a Regiment of Acanthusian Heavy-Troops in a rapid strike for his father.

The battle which ensued was bloody, with dozens of the attackers falling too the blades of the enemy. Perturabo led the way however, a giant forging hammer held aloft, and inspired the Acanthusian forces greatly. Perturabo knew the intertwining streets of the city well, and while many had been transformed into killing grounds of impossible magnitude, each failed to trap the Primarch. When the palace finally loomed, Perturabo broke off from his forces and charged alone.

His body was wracked with enemy fire as he smashed through makeshift barricades, abandoned by the Acanthusian forces, who had been forced back by a heavy counter assault. Trapped between two tides of former Black Judges and civilians-made-soldiers, Perturabo was surely doomed. That was until he struck down the doors of the palace’s anteroom, and found his longed for target. Dammekos had met his former son in combat with an baroque blade, and iron struck steel as the pair dueled.

No matter how experienced Dammekos was, he could not possibly hope to hold against Perturabo. A mighty strike took his head from his shoulders, and Perturabo broke the siege in one fell moment. The last forms of resistance were mopped up by the Athenanian Hoplites, and Perturabo immediately committed himself to the rebuilding of Lochos. Where once a relatively small city had stood, when Perturabo was finished, nothing as steeped in grandeur as the new city would ever come to be on Olympia.

For another fifteen years Perturabo was embroiled in a war between his former allied City-States, fighting with the last remnants of the Athenanian and Acanthusian forces which had decided to stay with him rather than return to their homes. It was during the last battle between the City-States of Olympia, that the Emperor and the Fourth Legion arrived. When all seemed lost, Perturabo having been greatly injured by an incendiary device, the vanguard of the Fourth teleported into the midst of the enemy.

Perturabo stirred from his injured form and led a counter attack side by side with the granite coloured giants, slaughtering without mercy in a bloodlust. They ripped out the heart of the enemy, and when the last remnants were rounded up and gunned down, the two allies finally set eyes on one another. Amongst the grey giants stood a beacon of hope, a golden hue figure that dwarfed all around him with ease. It was said that Perturabo recognized his true father and fell to his knees, pledging Olympia to the Emperor’s cause.

Renamed the Iron Warriors for their unbending nature and grey armour, the Astartes soon became one with Olympia. Lochos was expanded into a multi-continental fortress-city which rivaled that of the Imperial Palace. The Iron Warriors grew into one of the largest Legions during these times, their numbers bolstering until a large garrison of some five thousand Marines were ever present upon Olympia. Regiments such as the Ouranti Draks, clad in their green scaled armour, toured the defencive walls of Olympia many times while Perturabo was busy cutting the Imperium for his father.

When Dorn and his Imperial Fists arrived at Olympia it was said that Dorn was astounded by the sheer magnificence of Lochos. In reality however, he had been struck with jealousy when he realised that the defensive emplacements were far more established than those which he had erected on Terra, and after a malice filled tour he left in a fit. Perturabo and Dorn would not see eye-to-eye again until the Schism, where one would be grievously injured.

Perturabo and his elite Lacedaemonian, the three thousand strong First Company, under Warsmith Forrix were at Terra immediately before it was besieged, strengthening the Palace with their own weaponry under a request from the Emperor. This left the majority of the Legion at Olympia under the direct command of Warsmith Toramino, along with a vast swathe of their naval forces and attached Imperial Army Regiments. When the Imperial Fists arrived at Olympia, the Iron Warriors were caught off guard.

Lochos was bombarded from orbit by the combined might of the Imperial Fists, at the fore of which rested the Phalanx. The ships of the Iron Warriors fought back in rapid strikes, but it proved to be little hindrance due to the most powerful ships being away with Perturabo. Toramino, realizing he was sustaining casualties in orbit ordered the fleet to move for Terra and help in the defence of the capitol, while he himself ordered the Legion to take to the fortifications of Lochos. First-Captain Sigismund of the Fists led the assault, draped in furred cloaks, and for eight days shells rained down upon Lochos.

While roughly three quarters of the Imperial Fists were engaged at Olympia, Dorn led the remainder to Terra with his other Chaotic brethren. Nine weeks of siege passed, and the walls of Lochos still stood ever defiant. Toramino had took minimum losses during these times, although one entire Grand Company, that of Kolvax, had been destroyed during the opening moments. It was the arrival of the Dorn following Legio Astraman that finally brought down the walls of Lochos. On the seventieth day, the great steels gates of Lochos caved inwards.

The Imperial Fists, led by a mighty Imperator-class Titan marched inwards and found the central courtyard of Lochos all but abandoned. That was until they reached the centre. A mighty atomic weapon exploded when they did so, caving into a pit of magma which Lochos was partially built over, and the Titan and hundreds of Imperial Fists were swallowed whole. The Terminator veterans of Berossus, a Dreadnaught ridden Astartes who was one of Perturabo’s chief lieutenants led a counter attack on the surviving Imperial Fists, who were caught between the pit of lava and the walls of Lochos. The battle was one of the greatest in the history of the Iron Warriors as Berossus slaughtered each one and tossed their bodies into the bubbling magma, but he too was forced to retreat when a trio of Warhound Titans led a counter attack.

Toramino had planned it perfectly, and as the pack of Warhounds pushed further in he detonated entire streets to stop their advance. Sigismund, raging that he had lost so many of his Astartes in the opening moments, took to Lochos himself. Surrounded by his Soul Drinkers, the elite First Company of the Fists, he cut deep into the faltering Iron Warriors. Berossus again countered with his Grand Company but found himself isolated from the remainder of the Iron Warriors in the tunnels and tombs beneath Lochos. Sigismund ordered one of his Captains, Daenyathos, too “dig the battered bastards from this world” but Berossus was ready.

Berossus and his forces had prepared a series of mine fields amongst the tombs, and as Daenyathos and his Company pushed inwards, he detonated the entrances so that they were trapped between the Terminators and Dreadnaughts of Berossus and the sealed doors. Forced to push into the mine fields, Daenyathos and his forces were soon cut down in a blaze of shrapnel. Berossus and his forces were trapped though, and all but the Warsmith suffocated during these moments.

Toramino meanwhile was forced to fallback, leading some fifty thousand Iron Warriors towards the Iron Cage, the primary fortress within Lochos. Sigismund, believing he had them on the run, ordered Alexis Polux to give chase. The eager and brash Captain led his assault Companies after the fleeing Sons of Olympia. He marched into his downfall. Toramino had prepared a pathogen that he released when the last of the Iron Warriors were in the safety of the Iron Cage, and Alexis Polux and his forces were amongst the first to rot and fester.

Sigismund and his Soul Drinkers managed to reach their ships before being caught, but many of the Imperial Fists who had remained were not so lucky. Sigismund ordered a full retreat from Olympia, but not before he fired a single lance into the planet. The gasses were ignited and the Iron Cage collapsed on the heads of the Iron Warriors, crushing thousands and injuring even more. Toramino was saved a torment and killed instantly, leaving his Champion, Kroeger as the leader of the Iron Warriors.

Perturabo and his Lacedaemonian fared little better meanwhile. When the Phalanx of Dorn arrived, Perturabo was thrown into a rage. He took to his flagship, the mighty Medrengard, along with his First Company and elements of the Emperor’s Children, and with his fleet led a strike for the heart of the treacherous fleet. No ship, not even the captured Vengeful Spirit, could hold against the might of the Medrengard. Pursued by countless cruisers and battleships, the Medrengard gutted anything which stood in its path.

The Andronius of the Emperor’s Children, formerly the ship of Fulgrim, followed closely behind the Iron Warriors ship, however it lost its engines to a glancing blow and was forced to be abandoned. Some of the Children followed behind the mighty warship, but the majority turned and fled, leaving the Iron Warriors to fare alone. Those who did follow were led by Solomon Demeter of the ruined Second Company, and Perturabo would come to value their presence greatly. When the Phalanx was sighted, Perturabo ordered the Medrengard to prepare to ram.

Shields were shed beneath the mighty prow of the Iron Warriors battleship as it pushed into the outer hull of the Phalanx, crumpling it inwards devastatingly. When it was finally embedded into the moving moon of the Imperial Fists, Perturabo ordered it to fire. The Phalanx was said to have rivaled Sol that day as it burned and ruptured beneath the guns of the Medrengard, its hull breaking and distorting. When Perturabo was happy he led the Lacedaemonian onto the ship, one thing in mind. Rogal Dorn.

The Soul Drinkers who had accompanied Dorn clashed against the Lacedaemonian, and a bloody battle for supremacy erupted across the Phalanx. Outnumbered ten to one by the Imperial Fists, the Iron Warriors fought like cornered hounds. Many names came into prominence, such as Vilhelm of the Eighth Squad who would become the Hammer of Olympia, Champion of the Iron Warriors. Dorn and Perturabo clashed at the very heart of the Phalanx, but not even the cold resolute of Perturabo could fend of Dorn’s new abilities. His secondary heart was torn free and his ribs caved inwards, but still Perturabo fought on.

His right arm was pulled from its socket and his jaw broken, and it was then that the Lacedaemonian pulled back. Solomon Demeter and his Emperor’s Children held the ground for the Iron Warriors to escape and were slaughtered by the purple armoured Soul Drinkers, who had devoted themselves to Slaanesh at Davin. The Medrengard retreated through the enemy fleet and disgorged its Astartes on Terra before returning to the heart of the Iron Warriors fleet, like a wounded whale.

Perturabo spent the remainder of the war in isolation, too injured to walk into battle once again. When he returned however he rebuilt his Legion and set off after the Imperial Fists, who were fleeing into the Baleful Eye. Perturabo disappeared along with the Medrengard roughly a thousand years later, tales of grey coloured ghost ships which bare the vengeful ghosts of Astartes are rampant and growing as of late however, and many believe that Perturabo will return for the final battle.
 
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