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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
City of the Dead

The moon was a dulled yellow and the sky clear as the darkened coach rode through the city gates. The streets were deserted as the coach made its way through the main city all that could be heard in the darkened streets was the clatter of horses hooves as they rode through the cobbled stone and the coaches wheels rolling along behind. It left the main city and made its way to the old part of Todesburg, it had changed from being a proud small town with noble families to what it was now a cespit of disease, crime, poverty and famine the noble families having long moved into the city center Todesburgs new seat of power. The coach entered the courtyard of an old noble manor, the doors closing themselves behind it. The horses followed the courtyard around to the front door and two hunched figures appeared and walked to the rear of the coach and opened its door, with effort they removed the long black box from the carriages interior and carried it into the manor. The coach and its black robed driver moved round to the side of the manor where the stables where located and the black robed driver climbed down from the coach and followed the hunched figures into the manor and closed the door behind him. Evil had come to Todesburg.

A month had passed since the mysterious black coach arrived, the city guard had recieved increasing reports of missing persons in the old town, at least twenty men and women had disappeared at night. The city guard weren’t overly worried about these disappearances as those missing were only peasants and nobody of importance. The disappearances were put down to a new criminal syndicate that had started operating in the old town.
The moon was covered by dark clouds as the bells tolled midnight, the streets thick with mist. The city was closing down for the night with late night drinkers being kicked out of the taverns and lights going out in the houses, leaving the streets in near darkness. Thalek walked unsteadily down the street after a busy night at the Black Boar. A black cloaked figure appeared out of a side alley and Thalek walked straight into him, he mumbled an apology and glanced down the alley. He saw a young woman lying spread eagled on the floor with dark liquid forming around her head.
“Hey Mister, think your date needs some help” Thalek called out as the man walked off. The cloaked figure turned and walked back to Thalek, he glanced back down the alley.
“No, I dont think that she'll be needing any help now ” He grinned showing off clean white teeth with two pointed canines.
“Though maybe your the one that needs help" The man leapt forward at surprising speed pinning Thaleks arms to his side, he tried to struggle free of the mans grip but to no avail. As the man held Thalek still he leant forwards and whispered into his ear
"Give in to my embrace, i do hate to play with my food twice in such a short space of time"
He sunk his teeth into Thaleks neck, letting the blood flow, drinking like a man thats never tasted water. As his body slowly gave in from the blood loss Thaleks last sight was the stranger releasing him and withdrawing a handkerchief to wipe the stray blood from his face, then all faded to black. The vampire prodded the limp figure with its boot as though saddened the sport ended. Two hunched back creatures appeared from an arch a few paces further down.
“Take the bodies back inside and put them with the others” the vampire commanded them.
”Yes master” replied the creatures. They each hauled one of the bodies over their shoulder and carried them back through the arched entrance to a courtyard just off the street. The vampire glanced around at the windows overlooking the street to detect any movement to suggest anybody had seen the events, there was none. Soon he thought to himself, very soon the people of Todesburg would know the evil that stalked its shadows. He turned and disappeared into the archway, the darkness enveloping him as doors swung shut.



This is just a short story i've been working on to work as background to my Vampire Counts army and mainly to fill out my vampire lords history, cant have an ancient vampire lord without any history now can you? :)
Hope some of you enjoy reading it, should be adding some more to it later in the week when i've decided on how to develop it from here.
 

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Very cool, I really like its dark gothic nature to it. One of the things I love about vamps is their amoral point of view towards their "food" & their sadistic, power hungry manner, which I think you've captured nicely.

Well done, looking forward to more.
Da Git
 

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Very nice. I really like it when someone takes the time to write up a background story for their army or characters. Makes it feel more complete for some reason. Look forward to reading more.
 

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Discussion Starter #5
Thank you for the comments and the positive rep, usually a good sign :good:


Due to a slow day at work today i had a bit of time to jot down a few more ideas. I think i've got the ending pretty much tied up now, all that needs doing now is how to get there which unfortunately is also the most difficult :laugh: Off to the notepad tonight and should have some more up here by the end of the weekend.
 

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Discussion Starter #6
The vampire sat in a high backed leather chair examining the papers and documents strewn on the desk in front of him. A single flame of blue magical light hovered above the desk illuminating the vampires aquiline features as his eyes darted about the page in front of him memorising every detail, he finished reading the paper and sank back into the chair extinguishing the flame with a flick of his wrist. Sitting in the darkness he shut his eyes pondering his plan and the fruits it would deliver, as he sat there his mind wandered into the dark depths of time gone by inevitably leading him to the time of his birth into unlife. It was many hundreds of years ago now, the days of the infamous Vlad Von Carstein. He had been one of the first of the counts guard given the blood kiss by Herman Posner, he remembered waking to the hunger and Posner standing over him
"Wake now" Posner had said
"You are reborn Raimund and it is time for you to feed your new hunger for the first time" Posner had beckoned towards a young farm girl standing by the door and she came to his side.
"Consider this my gift, for you and i are connected now by blood, the strongest of all bonds" with this he turned and left shutting the door to the room behind him. Raimund could still remember her standing before him, she had been a brunette with bright green eyes, he had stared noting the way her veins rose up along her neck feeling her blood flowing within them. She obviously didnt really understand the situation she had been lead into as he had walked around her staring hungrily, mistaking the look of hunger in his eyes she had started to undo the buttons on her jacket but before she could even remove the jacket the hunger had taken complete hold. His face had began to contort and change to reveal the beast within, she started to scream but it was cut short as he had leapt upon her tearing at her flesh feeding in pure animalistic frenzy.
Raimunds mind came rushing back to the present the memory having stirred his blood thirst, he stood and walked to the doorway heading towards the cellar. As he walked the halls he thought about how far he had come since those days, the way he had gained more control of his bestial nature learning to take pleasure in taking his prey. He walked down an old stone staircase leading to the cellar door, he pulled a key from his coat pocket and inserted it into the lock in a great iron door. Pushing the door open he heard the noise of feet shuffling in the dark on the other side, he walked in and cast another ball of blue fire to illuminate the room a dozen humans shielded their eyes unused to the light. His hunchbacked servants had kidnapped a wide variety of mortals for their master, Raimund chose a grubby looking man in a tattered robe with grimy emblem sewn into it showing that the man had once been a priest of Sigmar. He took the man out and locked the door behind him, he decided that he felt like playing with this one to push the priests faith to breaking point before extinguishing the mortals life. Tonight the vampire lord Raimund would revel in the pitiful prayers and screams of this priest before savouring the taste of this holy vintage. How very much unlike his first he thought as feral smile spread across his face, it was so much more enjoyable this way.


Bit more i decided to write down while i had it in my mind, otherwise i'd just forget it all.
I found something quite interesting earlier looking up some background info for the story, i was checking the VC army book and discovered GW made a screw up with their datings in the background sections as it says that Konrad Von Carstein was around mainly between 2100 and 2121 when he was killed, yet in the Mannfred section it says that he invaded the empire before Kondrad came to power around 2032 which is even before Vlad was killed off :shok: Maybe i should complain to GW about it :laugh: but knowing them they'd probably just try and sue me with their intellectual property legal stuff :p
 

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Nice one sweetness
 

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Still loving it, same as I said before but better:good:

Have you read Vampire Wars, the Von Carstein trilogy cause your writing is very similar.

Top notch!
 

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Discussion Starter #10
Yes i have read the trilogy, great books :) They have been a big inspiration for me as i find they show how the vampire counts should be, they arent the nicest of creatures to be honest. Hence i've written in a similiar style as personally i think its best way to capture the nature of them.
 

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Discussion Starter #11
Talk about raising the dead.

Its been almost a year since my last post but now im back on the internet i can get back to work! Admittedly most people have probably never seen this thread let alone read it (which hopefully they will now) but the story continues and i'll be getting back to work on it this week.
So keep an eye on this space! (if you want to of course)
 
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