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The Strangest night out.

Now I am not a party animal that much any of my friends can attest to, but once or twice a month my mate Lorna and I head off into town. This particular Friday we had been shopping and I don’t mean the girly stuff like an outfit for the night or make up. Anyone who knows me knows I avoid that sort of thing like the plague.

I pride myself on the fact I know what I want, where to go get it and know that it will fit without all the rigmarole of walking round the shops only to go back to the first one they go in anyway.

Anyway I had been hobby shopping. First off into Game to get the DOW computer game and then off up to Games Workshop where a conversation with Bob the manager made me a tad bit uncomfortable.

Bob is one of the easiest going guys I know and always lets me know when the next HH book is due, usually squirreling it away in the back if he doesn’t think there will be enough copies and he knows I want it.

Anyway Lorna was looking round staring at all the boxed sets and books like they were something totally alien to her, which in fact they very probably were and then looking at me as if I was totally alien, which after checking myself in the shower this morning I could attest that I was defiantly not.

Bobs a guy I don’t think scares too easily I mean lets face it the guy runs some of the best table top games on a Thursday night so I am told and he tends to play Black Templars so I am told. Anyone that plays them fanatics has no fear, none whatsoever however we had been discussing Fulgrim and when I had brought the book he told me to come back and tell him what I thought.

Which I did and we discussed how close to the bone it was out of all the BL books I had ever read it was the best. Anyway it was getting late and Lorna was itching to just head off to the club and saying goodnight to Bob and the lads Bob offered me a strange and bizarre warning.

“It’s going to be a strange night tonight Jackie” He warned. “One you’ll never forget”

“It’s Friday night in York Bob, it’s always strange, the squaddies are home and out looking to get drunk laid and fed and not nessercery in that order”

Lorna chuckled a little and stood outside lighting a cigarette.

Bob waved me into the back end of the shop and looked around him a few
times acting all conspiratorially, almost like he did not want anyone to see what was going on. He handed me a small chapbook that would not have looked too out of place in an old bookstore. It was black with an Aquila in gold on the front cover, a but tattered round the edges and a bit yellow on the pages but it was still in one piece.

“What’s this? A new book that no one knows about?” I asked looking to see if I could find an author.

“Just read it and bring it back tomorrow” He got all-mysterious on me and said nothing more.

Thinking that he had been working too hard, probably had loads of students and kids in the shop and he needed a good old drink I thought it best to leave him to lock up. Saying goodnight I joined my friend outside and deciding it was best to just dump everything at mine we could then go out we headed off.

Friday night in York is quiet. Most of the night clubs are dead, the weekend really starts on a Saturday and that’s probably cos students get their discounts over the weekend.

She’s an old city and full of ghosts and history that’s why the clubs tend to be towards the more modern end of town. Anyway Lorna and I were heading across the Ouse Bridge and down Hudson Street destination Flares.

The weather was a bit dodgy, strange lightning forked the sky and seemed to strike the ground at separate places.

“That’s weird,” I muttered to myself having never seen lightning do that in this city, maybe over sea or in another country but not in a city.

Lorna didn’t seem that bothered, more intent on getting into the nightclub to start drinking. We’d already had a couple of drinks at Wetherspoons to get in the mood. Now one thing you need to know about my mate is one she is a lot younger then me and really lets her hair down on a night out, think its more to do with letting her worries about her fella being in the RAF and not home out of her system.

I promised Matt that I’d look out for her on our nights out but sometimes she is like a force of nature and you just let her get on with it.

Anyway we got to Flares and I nearly walked into the wall as the bouncers on the door seemed to be a little bit worried and the lightning storm had ceased as quickly as it had started, I was too busy watching the last forks to even see where I was going.

One of the lads on the door was muttering something about these big guys in the club.

“How big?” Lorna wanted to know.

“Well put it this way,” The bigger bouncer of the two men said “I not arguing with them”

Lorna snorted a little and dragged me in.

Flares is a nightclub that deals with seventies and eighties music, Friday is usually quiet its why we head out there then cause you can at least move to the bar but this night was totally bizarre.

Lorna headed to the bar and I found a table not taking a lot of notice around me to begin with. I took the book out of my pocket and before my buddy could get back to the dance floor I started to read it.

The predications of Saint Keeler

I frowned a little and wondered when BL had brought this out, I hadn’t seen it advertised or mentioned on Heresy Online and usually the likes Child of The Emperor or Baron Spikey, Dark Angel or Bobbs would know about it.

And the brothers shall discover a place where mankind parties all night

I chuckled to myself and stuck the book back into my jacket pocket, figuring it was a joke.

Lorna came back with the drinks and we moved to the upstairs bar and that was when the fun really started.

Lorna nudged me and pointed to the dance floor and there were these giants giving it large dancing to Michael Jackson’s Thriller.

“Come on Perturabo, give it the moonwalk”

The guy started to moonwalk across the stage and despite his sheer bulk he didn’t even break one of the lighted tiles.

Lorna was staring in shock at the way the man moved and I peered closer at the men.

“Pah anyone can Moonwalk” a blonde haired man dressed like a warrior monk scoffed “Bet you can’t do this”

He looked around him and proceeded to do a mid air back flip that made the ground shake when he landed and then pulled off some pretty fancy dance moves.

“Show off Lion” Perturabo snarled.

Perturabo? Lion? Oh this has got to be a joke I thought to myself and looked to see if the guys were on stilts or something but nope, they looked all normal, well as normal as seven foot plus tall men could look.

The thought that they might be members of a re-enactment society or such like was a fleeting thought.

Taking the book out once more I studied it again and there it was.

The brothers shall learn how to let off steam and be taught how humanity likes to let their hair down, it shall start in a night club set within the walls of an ancient castle

I ran my hand down my face and taking my phone out took a couple of pictures. If nothing else this was going to be a good laugh on facebook, maybe.

We were too bothered with watching the two guys on the dance floor try and out do each other, the Lion seemed to enjoy trying to get a rise out of Perturabo to even notice the two men coming up behind us.


A deep voice spoke behind us and we turned to see a blonde haired man with wings coming out from his back smiling at us both like some benevolent angel.

I kid you not he had wings, big naff off wings that rippled as he moved but he was really handsome and Lorna’s jaw was moving up and down in some sort of mechanical movement but nothing came out.

Made a change actually, she is very rarely lost for words.

“Perhaps my brother and I could buy you both a drink. I am Sanguinius and this is…hey get back here” Sanguinius pulled the pale skinned man back “Don’t be so nervous Kon” He soothed “This is my brother Konrad”

Seeing that Lorna was going to make no sense at all I ordered for us “Sure a large Amnereto, lime and lemonade and a Jack Daniels and Coke…please” I added.

“I’ll get them, Kon you stay here.”

“I’ll get them,” Konrad muttered nervously.

“You stay, you always say you are socially awkward well, now’s the time to learn”

Konrad looked quite nervous, actually he looked like a schoolboy on his first date and if my suspicions were correct which by now I think they were, either that or this was some massive drug induced Black Library experiment, set off by King Abnett and his brothers and sisters, he needed to really let his hair down.

I got up and headed waved the terrified looking DJ over. Now Lorna and I know the DJ was as gay as they come, I mean with a shirt like that and the way he spoke he was either gay or camp, but right now he looked like he was in a mixture of lust and fear, which if you ever went to Leeds on a night out in Queens Court you might understand.

I whispered in the DJ’s ear and waited for a moment, soon as I heard the start of Deliverance I grabbed Konrad and pulled him up to the floor.

I’m fairly tall but it’s a little hard dancing with a guy whose head is inches off the roof but he seemed to get into the swing of things, when the chorus started another dark haired man jumped the barrier and started whooping.

“They have a song about my home” he was totally delighted.

Konrad nudged me “This is my brother Corax, he comes from…”

“Deliverance by any chance?”

“Yes how do you know?”

“Like I know you come from Nostramo, Sanguinius comes from Baal, Perturabo comes from Olympia and the Lion comes from Caliban”

“Are you a Psyker?” Corax asked.

“Psycho maybe, psyker…nope”

I saw Lorna motion with her head and knew what that meant. So excusing myself I headed off outside with her and had about three cigarettes in a row.

“Who the hell are they?” She screeched, “I mean they are so handsome in their own way and well you know I…”

“Get little butterflies in your stomach?”

“Yeah and I can’t speak in front of them”

I took a long drag on my cigarette and then put it out “You would never believe me, even if I told you”

“Shall we go back in then and see what they are doing cause it looks like we got the whole club to ourselves”

“Always do on a Friday night”

So we headed back inside.

Things seemed to be going quite swimmingly. We had been joined by Corax, Perturabo, who seemed to keep being drawn to Lorna’s ample cleavage when he spoke to her he had trouble keeping his eyes on her face and the Lion.

Konrad had let himself loose his awkwardness and he was asking me how I knew where they were from when a commotion from the bar made us all look over.

“What do you mean there is no more Beer!”

“Uh-oh” Corax warily muttered “Angron and Russ have run out of beer”

Lorna pushed me in the back “You go deal with it”


“You seem to know what this is all about, you can go deal with it or we might get banned!”

“Lorna…you lift your shirt up on a regular basis when you had a few, we don’t get barred for that”

Perturabo stared then as I got up to go to the bar he stopped me “Does she really? Why does she do that?” He sounded quite eager at that prospect.

“Showing off” I retorted and as I walked to the bar I got the impression that he was really hoping she would do that.

Give it another hour or two and she might I thought,

There were two giants at the bar. One with wild red hair and a look in his eyes that said he wanted more alcohol then Flares could cope with the other was a giant with red skin a look in his eyes that said he wanted to rip the bar out of the floor.

“Excuse me can I have four very large pitchers of Stella”

“You paying for this?”

“No they are but if you want your bar kept in one piece just keep it flowing”
The barman was about to say something else but then seeing the glint in the two giants eyes thought better off it and poured four large pitchers as fast as he could.

I put them before the two giants and went to walk away when Russ clapped his hand on my shoulder, sagging me a little.

“Drink” he pointed to one of the pitchers.

Must admit I balked at the idea, can’t stand lager at the best of times I quickly ordered a crabbies and said I’d stick to that.

“Ginger beer!” Angron laughed “A drink for weaklings!”

“Try it,” I stammered, “You might just like it”

“Will barely wet my pallet” but he took it anyway and downed it in one. He smacked his lips a little and his eyes suddenly lit up like a Christmas tree “More, I want more of this! It is a warriors drink!”

Russ downed his pitcher and handed me one “Drink” he got more insistent this time

Oh well here we go

I screwed my face up a little, prayed for the love of the gods that the big
dinner I had would stop me falling flat on my face and began to drink.

“Drink, drink, drink, drink!”

I was acutely aware that my so called buddy was with the others chanting as I gulped the Stella down spilling more over my shirt and on the floor then in my gob and as I opened one eye I could see that Russ was almost finished his without spilling a drop.

I couldn’t stand much more and my head was starting to swim so I slammed it down before I threw it all up.

I was expecting to get a little bit ridiculed but instead I got a hearty slap on the back.

“Not many humans can keep up with me” Russ laughed “Well done woman”

All I could do was nod and pray that I would not retch. Lorna came up wrapping her arm round my shoulder.

“That was so cool”

She gushed and she was a little slurred and I closed my eyes as she headed for the dance floor with Angron who was still clutching his bottles of Crabbies like there was nothing else on earth that would interest him and Perturabo.

“Oh my god” I thought

“Lorna don’t you dare!” I yelled.

Too late, as the music got going she lifted her top up and started wiggling all she had for the world to see.

Poor old Perturabo looked like he was about to die and go to heaven.

So there I was, almost totally wrecked thanks to the drinking competition with Russ, one of my closest mate shaking her assists for the poor bastards with her to see and thinking either I am living in a Heresy online fan fiction piece or what I had smoked earlier was a brand new illegal brand of Benson and Hedges that I did not know existed.

Sanguinius and Corax were shaking it for all it was worth, the Lion was arguing with the DJ about which song to put on next and Curze was sitting beside me attempting to give me some clarity to the proceedings when it all went quiet.

“Oh shit” Konrad muttered and got up.

“Oh Mann I do not want to go yet” Perturabo groaned.

“We knew he would come looking for us” Sanguinius sighed “Horus...come brother have a drink”

“Time to go brothers, I don’t know what you are all doing in this place but it is time to leave”

In my bleary eyed drunken state I saw the most beautiful man I had ever seen in my life and had I been a lot younger I am sure I would have fell to my knees with some sort of sensibilities.

He looked at me and smiled a little and if I didn’t know what would become of them all I might have felt my insides turn to jelly. He picked the book up that had fallen onto the table and arched an eyebrow.

Then with a smile he put it back in my hand and gathering his brothers up he spoke into his collar.

“Oh come on!” Perturabo protested “The first time I see a woman worthy of my attention and you have to take me home!”

“Here Horus!” Angron thrust a bottle into his hand “It is a warriors drink!”

The last thing I heard was Corax singing Deliverance with Konrad whilst the Lion and Sanguinius made sure that nothing had been broken and Russ. Well Russ leant over the bar and ripped the barrel up from the cellar, tucked it under his arm and offered a salute then they were gone.

Lorna sat down by my side and said, “No one will ever believe that”

“Not sure I do…can I go home now.”

I posted the book through the letterbox of Games Workshop with a note attached to it and with my hangover still banging in my head I made my way steadily to the nearest Nero and had a large cup of coffee.

dedicated to the guys at GW York, my mate Lorna and you lot on here for making my time here really enjoyable - gothik x

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
thank you, themanager of GW York is called Bob and trust me its true what my mate does when she is really letting her hair down.....just thought of this after a zillion coffees and a few red bulls...thanks x
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