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Would this be a good idea for a chapter?

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Discussion Starter #1
It is widely rumored that Garro the commander of the 7th company of death guard before they went traitor was the first chapter master of the Grey knights.
I was wondering if it would be at all possible for a chapter to have been created by him and the 70 other survivors, with a aim of destroying the traitor death guard much like the Dark angels and the Fallen. Perhaps they were created in the second founding under a different name and there true roots only known to there members? All comments welcome:biggrin:
 

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absolutely awesome idea, looking forward to it.
 

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Discussion Starter #3 (Edited)
In the corridor the Emperor’s now shattered palace, Chapter master Garro of the recently formed chapter 666 felt a pang of envy as he strolled down the corridor with the man dressed like his pre heresy brothers.
‘ Brother Wrifé, I hope you understand the magnitude of the task you are to undertake?’ said Garro, in a tone sterner than he intended.
‘ Aye, I do sir’
‘You have been charged on a mission the likes of which have never been heard of in the Imperium. You are to lead a chapter to avenge the wrongs done to the death guard chapter by the cancer that is chaos.’ He stopped and signaled to Wrifé to enter the room with him, wary of being overheard.
‘You will be known as the Dusk Raiders, in memory of the time before Mortarions coming. Your quest will be to never rest until our once brothers are slain and Mortarions head is on a stick in front of this palace. You must never let anyone know outside the legion know of its purpose for they will see your gene seed corrupt. You will wear the armour of your ancestors in memory of those loyal. Remember you are a Dusk Raider, not a plague marine and as we have nothing but our honour left, you will instruct your men to be the noblest of chapters and above all, stay loyal to the God Emporer.’
‘That I will my lord’
Garro made the sign of the aquilla and with a nod turned his heel and walked out of the room. The fate of his and all his loyal comrades was in the young chapter masters hands, he smiled knowing that perhaps one day the wrongs done by his ex primarch would be undone, strapping on his helmet he knew he would not live to see this day.


Hope you liked it all tips welcome:)
 

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Yeah, I like.

What sort of tips are you after? Fluff? Modelling? Lists?

BTW, I'm almost sure that another chapter has been officially designated 666 (ie, I am sure, just can't remember which one).

 

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Jac "Baneblade" O'Bite
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@Red Orc. Yes 666 is the Grey Knights however what Cerrakoth is saying is that this new chapter has been created out of some of the other Death Guard. Garro isn't in charge of it but is just talking to the Chapter Master of the new Chapter.

Very nice idea - good introduction as well although I would probably change this sentence:

Remember you are a Death Guard, not a plague marine and as we have nothing but our honour left, you will instruct your men to be the noblest of chapters and above all, stay loyal to the God Emporer.’


to

Remember you are a Dusk Raider, not a plague marine and as we have nothing but our honour left, you will instruct your men to be the noblest of chapters and above all, stay loyal to the God Emporer.’


Just to really set the distinction up.
 

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D'OH!

Yup, sorry, I get it - and, you knew that the Grey Knights were 666, didn't you Cerrakoth? I do feel somewhat foolish. (Thanks WoT and Jac, for helping me expose my inadequacies before all and sundry, though really I didn't need much help :wink:)

Now I understand it, I like it even more. It's also reminded me of a question I've been meanin to put on the fluff forum for ages...

Now, where's that "I'm a steaming berk" emoticon gone? Oh well, you'll have to settle for a blushing cyclops instead.

 

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Discussion Starter #9
thanks

yeah thanks guys I put garro as chapter master of Grey knights as I've read somewhere that he became there chapter master and tht improved sentence is good tah :biggrin: I knew it was bad jsut couldn't think of way to change it lol. I was thinking of making a c hapter based upon this background and wondered if it would make sense:)
 

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Discussion Starter #11
Garro

I know its a guess but I always thought it would be fitting if he did and the evidence does show he becomes a Grey knight but to be perfectly honest I just wanted to include him in my story because he rules:p:biggrin:
 

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Discussion Starter #12 (Edited)
First engagement

The roar of the stormbirds bringing in more troops roared overhead. Chapter master Wrifé smiled under his helmet as he saw his battle brothers, in their favourite environment. They were standing firm behind lines of barbed wire and spikes, everyone knew that Death Guard were impossible to dislodge once given a foothold and indeed the Dusk Raiders had followed suite. Today was his time to shine for the emperor, for the first time since the siege of holy Terra his chapter would have the change to slay the vile forms of their fallen comrades. He almost thanked the Emperor for his traitorous brothers being one of the only two legions to have withdrawn in an ordinary manner for this had given his chapter their chance. Today they would stand strong and he knew it, Death Guard were a force that did not like attacking, they could hold a position for months before cracks appeared. The sides would be equally matched were it not for the simple fact that the Dusk Raiders had a foothold and the Death Guard did not.
‘SIR THEY ARE HE----’ screamed a scout over the vox before a blood curdling scream and an odd buzzing sound started blaring out of it. Wrifé turned to his artillery captain, he did not like using tanks but in this engagement they were vital to his chapters success.
‘Sergeant order all Whirlwinds to fire’
‘Yes my lord’
The first volley went off.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Please comment:) Ill have the next part posted in 10-20 mins
 

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Discussion Starter #13 (Edited)
part 3

They had repelled the first, second and now third waves that came to them with minimal losses, they only had to hold on for a few more hours before Dorns Fist arrived to aid them. Whoever was in command of this attack obviously cared little for his men’s lives.
‘Artillery hold fire!’ bellowed Wrifé into the vox. And seconds later his command was fulfilled.
‘Sir, Perhaps they’ve retreated’ said a naive young marine. Wrifé laughed at this.
‘Perhaps you’d like to see if there’s any of them just over that hill’ the recruit smiled and stepped back into his place.
For three minutes there was no movement in the smoke, but then tall, bulky shapes began to form and walk steadily closer. He was about to order the Artillery to fire but stopped dead as he caught site of a scythe in one of the traitorous terminators hands. His whole body went numb. The terminators stopped dead. He pulled himself together and roared,
‘So you survived Typhon! You may have lived through hell, but you will not live through me!’ Manic laughter burst from the terminators.
‘Typhon is dead to me! I am Typhus, Herald of Nurgle, and believe me I will live through you.’ His voice was absolutely calm
‘You and what army! You have but a small band of Terminators!’ Typhus chuckled.
‘This army!’ He swung his arms and the smoke parted like the red sea and behind him was indeed an army, but even more worryingly was that in the centre was a humanoid, also wielding a scythe, but standing tall above the marines.
‘By the Emporer not him’ Wrifé said to himself.
‘for Nurgle’ hissed Mortarion and his minions roared their approvement and surged forward in one solid wave.
‘ARTILLERY FIRE!!!!!’ screamed Wrifé and the full power of the Whirlwinds blew smoking craters into the enemy forces.
‘GIVE THEM EVERYTHING YOU’VE GOT LADS!!!!’ and with a cheer the chapter let rip.
 

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Don't Grey Knights get their gene seed from the Emperor and helps explain why no Grey Knight has ever fallen to Chaos? The whole first Chapter Master having come from Mortarion would contradict this core concept would it not?
 

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Discussion Starter #15
Chapter master

Before somebody redid the page on Wikipedia Garro is listed as being the first and only known chapter master of the Grey Knights=] also it implies that he has something to do with the hunting/killing of demons so the Chapter master theory does fit in smoothly and it would just be nice if he did as it fits rather nicely with my story=]Also Garro is a hero of the Unification Wars so his gene seed would not come from Mortarion and so be pure=]
 

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Discussion Starter #18
Wrife
thanks mate, and yes but it was a rumor and it was the easiest way to sneak Garro into my story=]
 

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heres a short version. ill write a longer one later

The artillery rained down on the traitorous legion, blowing Chaos limb from limb. Bolter fire poured out of both sides. Both traitors and loyalists alike fell, their armour pierced, their bodies broken. out of the smog trudged Typhus, Herald of Nurgle. He yelled a challenge to Wrife.
"come face your doom loyalist, i shall have your head for my trophy rack. It will make a grand ornament."
"I beleive you are mistaken, it shall be your head on my blade" yelled Wrife as he charged recklessly towards his foe.
The battle raged on around them as Typhus and Wrife circled each other, each daring the other to strike first, taunting them. Neither noticed as bodies flew past them, battered and broken. Blood made the ground slick and muddy, difficult to keep a footing in. Suddenly Wrife lunged at typhus, swinging his Nemisis blade at his foe. the blade struck Typhus squarely on the shoulder, richoceting off at an oblique angle. Typhus made his move, swinging his mighty scythe at Wrife who barely managed to dodge the mighty blow. Wrife stabbed out with his fist, catching Typhus in the soft armour between his chest and waist. A crushing fist slammed down on Wrife's head, knocking him to the floor, leaving him dazed. Typhus stood over Wrife, pinning him with one foot, preparing to end Wrife's life. Wearily, Wrife turned his head and saw his Nemesis staff just inches away. Quickly he grabbed it and swung backhand at Typhus. But Typhus saw this and blocked the swing with his scythe. However this threw Typhus off balanced and Wrife pushed him off easily. rising to his feet, he readied himself. A mighty swing of Typhus's scythe nearly decapitated Wrife, instead glancing of his helmet and down into his shoulder. Blood spurted out of the fresh wound in a shower of bright red fluid. clotting almost instantly Wrife tried to ignore the wound, but it was in such a place as it made it hard to swing his weapon. He switched arms, now swinging in the opposite direction and caught Typhus in his mid-riff, creating a deep wound in his side. Blood, or what looked like blood, a sticky greeny-brown fluid seeped out of the wound. Typhus roared and as he did so, the Destroyer swarm emerged, covering Wrife in a sea of black. He waved his arms in an attempt to clear his vision, but too late. The last thing he saw was the dim metal blade of the ManReaper swinging towards his head. There was a dull thump as Wrife's helmet, still containing his head, hit the ground. a clatter and his weapon fell to the ground. bright blood spurted from his neck, showering Typhus in red sticky liquid. slowly Wrife's body fell to its knees, and finally to the ground. Typhus roared in victory. but as he turned to command his army once more, he realised that he had no army, just decimated squads retreating. all during his duel with the now dead Wrife his army had been decimated by the reinforcements sent by Dorn's Fist. fire pouring out of the loyalists had shattered the enemy. artillery shells disrupted and destroyed whole squads. leaving their wounded behind, the demoralised traitors retreated, Typhus disappearing with them. The battle was over. The loyalists had won, but with heavy losses, including the death of their commander. Garro was not pleased when he heard this over the stellarcom. He pounded his fist into the table and ordered angrily for the chapter to withdraw back to foward base.
 
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