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The Seige Of Advare

-- Rareaa System --
-- Rarea ll --
-- Advare City --

The Trenches Reeked of death and decay, the two things anyone dreaded, but the guardsmen of the 21st Rareaa Company
had grown used to it over the past months. Seargent Jalesa surveyed the trenches, mishappen were artillery shells had errupted.
Jalesa, look onto the ground and saw; limbs of dead soldiers, mishapen bodies some missing ligaments and some missing half there body, red stained mud, and blood lots of blood.
After the Junior officer of his platoon had been disintergrated when 2 missles exploded on him, he had been nominated as the new platoon leader. Until Support arrived,
the support that was meant to arrive 3months ago that some soldiers still had faith in.
At the start of the seige there had been 20 squads in the platoon, but after months of shelling and enemy attacks, there was 94 men dead or MIA, 45 were injured or suffering from typhus that had spread through the trenches like wild fire. So that left only about 61 men left which most of them where sat, huddled, burning doctrine books and other assorted items to keep warm.
Some of them were unarmoured because of the acid bombs the enemy persisted to use on them which burnt through ur armour and through you if you didnt take it off.
As he looked over to a huddle of 6 men clutched together he caught one of there eyes, the man half-smiled, and said
"Its gonna be over soon isnt it sir?"
The seargent didnt reply he just smiled and nodded.
The Platoon had been designated to hold this trench that was 1 mile outside of the actual city, which was presumably still ok, so why hadnt they brought reinforcements?

Suddenly, the trench dwellers heard a familiar sound, the enemy had fired an acid bomb, the seargent looked up to see it flying through the air, and elegantly swoop down toward the trench.
Instinctivley the guardsmen, dived into the holes in the trench that had been formed from previous bombings.
The seargent dove into a large whole near the back of the trench and was half deafened as the bomb exploded.
The Seargent closed his eyes and prayed he didnt get hit.
However, he felt something splatter onto his cheek, he immediatly attempted to wipe it off his cheek and realised it wasnt acid, it was blood.

The seargent clambered out of the whole to see a horrific sight, guardsmen were screaming in pain as acid melted into them,
one guardsment grabbed onto the seargents leg. He looked down to see the guardsmens face begin melting. The Seargent pulled his leg free as the guardsmen slumped to the floor. He shouted out,
"Anyone who is ok, rendevous on my positon!"

He waited for 5minutes and was astounded at the lack of men. Only 35 men were alive, they forced smiles and saluted.
"Charge!!" a voice rang out from the enemies positions.
The Seargents heart dropped and he shouted, "Battle positions!"
The Guardsmen scrambled to the front of the trench and began firing.
They all hated the enemy's charge they all hated facing the Death Guard of Nurgle.
Drawing his power sword and un holstering his hellpistol the seargent, prepared to recieve an assualt.
Instinctivley he stayed in a crouched position.
Suddenly, masses of bolter fire met the lasgun fire, but it was much more intense.
The Guardsmen where overwhelmed and where brought down in a hail of fire.
"Take Cover!" the seargent whailed desperatly.

After the firing had stopped he saw only 4 guardsmen his heart sunk, they wouldnt survive.
He heard heavy footsteps and heard the buzzing of chainswords.
3 of the guardsmen began to clamber away over the trenches and were ripped apart by bolter fire.
The other guardsmen stood and spoke.
"i will be with you till the end, sir."
At that moment a bolter round ripped through his head, his eyes went up into his head, and he fell down.
The seargent felt hate welling up inside him and he jumped up onto a small ledge on the trench and clambered over,

Immediatly a Round impacted into his chest, he almost fell into the trench but he carried on running towards them.
Another round impacted into his left arm, making him drop his hellpistol. He could see the enemy, he ran forward, bolter rounds missing him barely and he jumped toward a marine and sunk his sword into his chest, the marine cried out and slumped to the floor, the seargent pulled out his weapon and charged at another marine, it raised its gun. Fired. Everything went black.

141 Posts
1.) Basics

check spelling again.

2.) Precision

numbers of guardmen are not required. All that is needed is comparisons (for lack of better words) like. "only a small few of the guardmen still stood." or something like thaht instead of the fact that 5 guardsmen were still alive.

3.) Check the Facts

Not sure chaos would be happy with shelling their enemy for 3 months. (at least not tose of Khorne (corn :lol:)) Chaos seems to have a blood lust. Im sure even nurgle's forces are not patient enough th spend 3 months shelling the enemy. They would bombard and attack in a day or week at most.

4.) Find a good race for bombardment

say maybe the orks. they seem like the type that would bombard for 3 months untill they were 'organized'.

not all that bad, but still needs some work.
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