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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
could you imagine rogal dorn running into the warp gate and comming back
out



well i can so i put my mind to the test (just managed to scrape past its m.o.t lol) and thougt it up

rogal dorn before he could run to through the warp gate alone he was followed by his secret chapter dorn's righteous accompanied by 1000 scouts 200 of his best veterans and his 4 top man captains hey ran after a harsh ................. years in the warp (someone fill in for me) they came back to reality and are now secretly destroying all threats to the human race

anyone wanna give me some more ideas (im not a fluffer)

my armys coming into pratice so far 20 scouts 1 landspeeder storm 1 captain

making a rogal dorn character will be lysander with a scout hand holing hammer because remeber dorn left his gauntlet
 

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Dorn be dead...not running around kicking ass and Lysander be to busy with the Imperial Fists to go with a secret chapter unless you are only using his rules, I like the name of the chapter and I would like to see some backround.
 

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I like to think that they are alive and here is what they are all doing:
Khan: Touring the Dark Eldar citys with his band (White Lightning)
Russ, Vulkan and Corax: Met up in the Eye of Terror and are kicking ass (Not sure about Vulkan but definatley the others)
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
reply to the why would dorn have a secret chapter in the first place

hmmm yes ill give up every single one of my space marines that took me ages to make

and when i make dorn ill give him the lysander rules



just remember im not really a fluffer

i might be making a project log also i need you're guys help on the background story
 

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If you want to have an army for you and your friends with what you think is cool, then go nuts, have what you like.

If you want to have some fluff that 'fits in' with what is standard, maybe you could have the captain who fits in between cracks, rather than the primarch... something like this:

Captain Mysatro

One of Lysander's early mentors, Captain Mysatro was terribly wounded in the battle through the space hulk Gigamesh. The shortage of Dreadnaught coffins at the time led him to be suspended in a medicae facility on a nearby planet from which the fists recruited. Various incursions of xenos eventually led to the Fists withdrawing from this system until such a time as they could mass a crusade fleet, and the medicae facility with Mysatro was abandoned in the withdrawal.

With the help of the few remaining medicae staff and mechanicus adepts, Mysatro, awakened from his induced coma, reconstructed many parts of his ruined body, using augmentations and bionics salvaged from the fallen defenders. His power armour pieced back together and with a bolter formerly belonging to one of his battle brothers, he rallied the Imperial survivors on the planet and stormed the debarkation point of the xenos invaders, recaptured an imperial transport and escaped back into imperial space.

Although lauded as a hero on his return to the Fist's fortress monastery, Mysatro saw that only a few of his generation, and his command, remained in the Imperial Fist chapter. Although senior to Lysander, he approached him as a supplicant asking to be allowed to leave on a warrior's quest to combat the enemies of mankind on his own, until their sheer numbers overcame him. Such was his respect amongst the fists, the remainder of his command, now far smaller than the original company, was permitted to leave. Now he and his force travel the imperium, no longer part of the Imperial Fists chapter, searching for clues to Dorn's resting place and turning the tide against the enemies of the emperor in countless small battles.
 

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reply to the why would dorn have a secret chapter in the first place

hmmm yes ill give up every single one of my space marines that took me ages to make

and when i make dorn ill give him the lysander rules



just remember im not really a fluffer

i might be making a project log also i need you're guys help on the background story
I'm not saying give up on it, far from it. It's just that using 'secret' chapters has never really made a great deal of sense. Why would a Primarch, especially one as loyal as Dorn, need to keep a secret chapter?
Surely he would have just made them a part of his legion and carried on as normal. During the Great Crusade there was no real limits as such on the size of a legion so there would be no reason to keep them secret.
In the end they are your Space Marines, you can do what you like with them, paint them baby blue and call them the care bear marines if you want to.

Rogal Dorn died fighting on a Chaos ship during one of the Black Crusades, they even have one of his skeletal hands and his body is kept in a chapel.
If, as you say, you're not really a fluffer, then please take constructive criticism for what it is. Do a little research and your fluff will be all the better for it.

A few golden rules for writing fluff.
No secret chapters
Leave the missing Primarchs well alone
No female SM
No "They have been lost in the warp"
No traitor Grey Knights

There are a lot more rules that can be found here:
http://www.bolterandchainsword.com/i...owtopic=132379

Hope some of this helps.
 

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like the idea but i can go with secret chapter in the Dark Angels cos that just fits totally thier MO and what have you but the Fists i can't really see that myself i think Dorn abhored secrecy of all kinds although Viscious when it comes to recruiting thier novitates i wouldn't like to think of the fists as secretive that would really worry me and um scare me to be honest.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
well guys thanks for the help so ive changed it around and decided to keep working on this chapter same name but diffrent story

as dorn's righteous travelled through space with there small battle fleet after there numbers where drasticly depleted when facing a small band of eldar pirates who had some how managed to retrieve a eldar revenat titan......
after dorns righteous dified orders and stayed on the world of .......... (havent thought of name) to protect its people agaisnt the eldar threat they were excommuncated but did not give up to execution and ran one day when in space 4 imperial emporer class battleships emerged and made quick work of the small space marine fleet little did they know that the ships had been completly deserted and had dropped of to the nearest forge world were they asked the adeptus mechanius for a small fleet but know one knows about the awnser that was given.....


welcome any cristism and will except any help from any body
 

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Two things first:

One, punctuation please; for the love of all things break your sentences up so its not one gigantic run on block of text.

Two, use of a spell checker often goes a long way; most internet programs have one built in these days, and if you have access to something like microsoft word then that has it as well.

as dorn's righteous travelled through space with there small battle fleet
What exactly constitutes as a small fleet in your mind anyway? What kinds of ships were present and how many?

after there numbers where drasticly depleted when facing a small band of eldar pirates who had some how managed to retrieve a eldar revenat titan......
For this I suggest doing a fair amount of research and working with someone who knows a fair amount about the Eldar. You will be extremely hard pressed to find a craftworld willing to allow corsair Eldar to retrieve one of their titans if it can be salvaged.

Also, as far as retrieval is concerned, this would be done through a massive webway gate as titans are rather large constructs.

after dorns righteous dified orders and stayed on the world of .......... (havent thought of name)
Who was giving them these orders, what were these orders they refused, and by what right did this person/group have to be ordering around a chapter of space marines?

This is once again something to be doing some research on; space marine chapters govern themselves, they answer to themselves and rarely any other. Other Imperial organizations can request or demand things of them (or make accusations) but within a chapter the ultimate authority in regards to giving orders to its parts lies with the chapter master and no other.

to protect its people agaisnt the eldar threat they were excommuncated but did not give up to execution and ran
Once again, by what reason or right does this group/person have to keep part of a space marine chapter from protecting humanity from its enemies? Was there something about the planet that they wanted to keep the marines from? Was it a tainted or cordoned planet and exposure would corrupt/damn?

one day when in space 4 imperial emporer class battleships
Another point to do some research, a battleship is a powerful vessel in its own right, a single one commanding an entire fleet. You will rarely, if ever, find a single Imperial battleship flying about, let alone four being committed to seeking out and destroying a marine fleet.


That being said, did these four battleships have any support vessels? Fleets of their own?

emerged and made quick work of the small space marine fleet little did they know that the ships had been completly deserted
Why were the vessels deserted? Was there something wrong with them? Did they have some alternate means of travel? It is not a very smart move to allow your mode of travel in the galaxy to be destroyed without having something else.

and had dropped of to the nearest forge world were they asked the adeptus mechanius for a small fleet but know one knows about the awnser that was given.....
If the chapter is excommunicated, why would a forgeworld, run by the mechanicus, even be willing to help them? They are, after all, branded traitors of the Imperium regardless of their actions.


When making a chapter, before working on the background and history of your chapter it is a good idea to have some other things decided and filled in first. Things like the following:

Name
Founder
Primarch
Founding
Colour
Battle-cry
Combat doctrine
Current strength

Homeworld (if applicable)
Galactic location

These things, they help to give your chapter some structure before working on its history.
 

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No primarchs death is conretely confirmed, GW's golden rule is nothing is ever confirmed and always has some speculation.

Dorn is not confirmed dead, yes some say he is dead, while others say only his hand and weapons were found, not him the primarch. So he could still be alive, same with how some say ferrus is alive on mars, while others say fulgrim executed him.

You have to remember all books are from an imperial officer perspective, and thus are subject to question, authentication, and subjectivity.
 

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I thought that Dorns skeletal body was encased in amber and kept in the same shrine chapel as his hands?

Pretty much says to me he's dead.
 

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Dorn is dead, his body is encased in amber and his hands are inscribed with the names of the chapter masters since he died.
Horus is dead, Ferrus Manus is dead (or running around like a headless primarch chicken)
Sanguinius is dead.
Night Haunter is dead
Alpharius/Omegon is possibly dead (speculate as you see fit)
Guiliman is probably dead (although held in stasis)

So, there you go 5 dead Primarchs at least and a couple that probably are.
 

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it would be really wierd if Dorn came running out the warp....unless there is a twin of his running around or something or Fabien finally cloned a primarch...nope dorn is dead wasn't he killed by Perturabo??? anyway that is a definate unless of course you believe in the reinarnation of the primarchs theory its possible i suppose.
 

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it would be really wierd if Dorn came running out the warp....unless there is a twin of his running around or something or Fabien finally cloned a primarch...nope dorn is dead wasn't he killed by Perturabo??? anyway that is a definate unless of course you believe in the reinarnation of the primarchs theory its possible i suppose.
No, Dorn is the only Primarch who's dead not to have been killed by another Primarch or the Emperor (Night Haunter basically committed suicide so I don't think that really counts)- he was slain by Chaos Space Marines in the 1st Black Crusade.
 

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After leading a charge where he was hugely outnumbered onto the bridge of a Despoiler Class Battleship I might add... since the Despoiler Class wasn't designed until the 36th millenium, his death actually must have happened in the 6th or later black Crusade.
 
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