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Big Mek Bagonutz thought the boss had been drinking too much of the special fungus brew when he said that he wanted to capture one of the metal heads floating pyramids to use as the base for his new battle fortress. After fighting the metal heads many times and beating them but at the high cost of almost the entire destruction of the war band each time, Bagonutz knew this was not going to be an easy task. Especially since the metal heads disappear once they are destroyed.
Bagonutz scratched his head and could not figure out how to do it. A full on frontal attack might work but the Necrons would probably kill most of the orks and there was no guarantee that it would work. He did not have any ideas so he decided to go for a walk to clear his head and hoped that maybe Gork or Mork would speak to him. Shuffling through the desert sand outside the ork city Bagonutz found himself near the weirdboy tower. Maybe it was the chanting of the madboyz or Gork and Mork were speaking to him but an idea formed a plan was in his head. Simple and cunning was his plan that he was surprised that he thought of it before.
Bagonutz trotted back to his mek shop passing the boss “Iz off ta gitz one of dem floating forts boss so ready da boyz. Dem tin heads ain’t going to be ‘appy.” Da boss paused for a moment as Bogonutz did not want anyone to go with him but he had learned not to question the ways of the big mek and went to gather his Nobs for what was about to come. The crash of the big metal doors being kicked open echoed through the mek shop startling several young meks and sent grots scurrying for hiding spots in the tangled mess of parts that is the mek shop. “Where’z Zodsmoger?” bellowed Bagonutz as he entered. A pale green young mek stepped tentatively stepped forward as two days earlier he blew up one of Bagonutz creations and he feared the big meks wrath. “I’z wantz ya to gather all da big dakka bomb’s youz can and wait fer mey to return.” The mek scurried off. Bagonutz slung his teleporter pack along with his favorite burna and slung them on his back. Clicking on his teleporter device he turned to the rest of the mek “Clear some space, lads. I’z coming back wif someting big.” And with that he was teleported away.
In the blink of an eye Bagonutz found himself in the middle of large black obelisks with markings carved into them and pyramid structures. This is were the metal heads had their tomb. It took several hours for Bagonutz to make his way through the maze of tunnels and passage ways until he found what he was looking for. A large room that arched up into the darkness that even Bagonutz mechanical eye could not penetrate. He was not here to sight see he was on a mission and the soon he was out the better. Bagonutz made his way along one of the walls careful not to interfere with any of the small spider like creatures that were maintaining the rows of warriors that stood silently waiting to awaken and serve. The warriors were not what he was here for the large metallic floating forms towards the back was he wanted. As he made his way to the back of the room he found some that were brand new and others that were in a state of complete disrepair. Bagonutz found one that the spider creatures had not started repairs on and even though the front hatch was locked the large gapping hole that had been ripped into the side was large enough for him to squeeze his large frame though. He took out his slugga as he entered but inside he found no crew or warriors waiting for him. Dis one I’ll do Bagonutz thought to himself. After all the boss said get one, he didn’t say what condition it had to be in. So he quickly set about his work hooking up his teleporter pack to the monolith for a return trip to the mek shop. Just as he finished his work one of the small spider creatures crawled inside. With a hard stomp Bagonutz smashed the creature beneath his boot. The sound of crunching metal echoed through out the room. This caused several of the warriors that had previously been dormant to start jerkily move towards the ork big mek. He fired up his burna and turned the flame to a white hot jet. Bagonutz then hit the return button on his teleporter pack. For a few seconds the monolith shuddered and shock as the tomb fought against the teleporter but then before Bagonutz eyes the images of the tomb room and the mechanical warriors faded from his view and was replaced with the blurred images of his mek shop. Once he had materialized in his mek shop Bagonutz working quickly used his burna to cut through the top of the monolith slicing the homing beacon out and dropping it into his waiting hand. “Zodsmoger!” yelled as he leaped from the Necron construct. Zodsmoger lurched forward festooned with a large amount of super stick bombs and high explosives stuffed into every bag and pocket that would hold something. The dull green crystal was now starting to glow and turn a bright white color in Bagonutz hand he knew what that meant. Stuffing the crystal into Zodsmoger’s hands “Get dis outta ‘ere.” He ordered the young mek. As Zodsmoger turned to leave Bagonutz pulled the pins on several super stick bombs. “And dat is fur blowing up me device.” Then Zodsmoger disappeared from sight “Dat otta give dem Tin heads a surprise as well as Zodsmoger.” A large teeth filled grin appeared on his face then turning to his meks. “Alright lads get ta work da boss wants a battle fortress and dat’s what he gonna get.”



I have based this off the necron codex on page 56 of a space marine squad entering a necron repair tomb to gather information. I just replaced the space marines with the big mek. It think this sounds feasible to how orks could get their hands on a monolith. Plus on the Chaos defiler trophy racks there is a necron head so I guess either not all the parts fade out or a raid on a tomb would give trophies and lootable items. Comments?

Morfangdakka
 

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Its a very good read, but i can see some problems;
The big meks teleporta is only ment for moving short distances, and certainly not different planets. (the Orks would not be able to stay on a Tomb World for very long).
Also the Necrons would awake at the first sign of any real threat and would probably have woken up earlier.

Apart from that, youve found a very good way round the Phase Out rule, and i look forward to any other Fluff you might produce
:)
 

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The Traveler
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@jakkie: Necrons are not proximity radars. They only wake once the Lord does, and even then it takes months for a Tomb World to fully awaken, and by that time the occupants are all dead.

Great story! In fact.....
http://www.garbo.org/40k/Konviktz/battlefortress.htm



THE DAKKA-LITH!!
Note that this is NOT mine. Scarpia built it for GD a while back, but came up empty in the Open Competition. The link is for a step-by-step instructions. There's also other stuff on the site for Orkz.
-Dirge
 

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I must say that does look pretty cool. It definitely needs more color though. Lots of reds and rusted panels.
 

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actually the Teleporter can teleport as far or short as its owner wants. its the whole "Waaagh" power thing, it shouldnt work in the first place. so if a big mek says "dis iz da Far go Teleflasha fing" then its going to go that far the "Waaagh" works Similar to EoT its not bound my the material plane. Great work Morfang :D
 

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the lothed monolith woud bee cool but the orcks Big meck cant handel the necron tecnology that have the teleport abillity
 

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actually the Teleporter can teleport as far or short as its owner wants.
actually, it can work as far as the owner can see.

iv gotta admit, the DAKKA-LITH does look excellent (i just read the making of it and i think that its an outstanding piece of modling, painting and converting) :eek:k::biggrin:

and CATzeentch, i doubt the orks would colonise a tomb world; the lord would awaken as soon as it detected a threat. and if the necs had been defeated, there would be no monolith to loot.

also, how would the orks control the monolith once it was back in the camp?
assuming that the orks were on the same planet, the lord would probable be able to control it. if its on a different world. then no telleport.

ps. sorry 4 trying to pick holes in peoples posts; i think the orky monolith and the ideas from morfangdakka are just brilliant!
 

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The Traveler
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I really don't want this to be an ongoing arguement, first.

The Necron lord does not awaken at the first sign of some idiot poking a flashlight into his crypt. Most tomb worlds are in fact colonized by humans. (The Cadian Obelisks come to mind). They wait for millions of years until people forget the scary metal people below the surface and recolonize it, then cleanse it again. It would take a substanstial amount of Orks to activate a Tomb World's systems.

The one thing that I find about this story (And this is a little stupid thing that no one else would care about, does nothing to detract from it's awesomeness, and is pretty much useless) is that the Big Mek gave the crystal from the Monolith to the other Mek, severing it's connection to the Lord. The Necron Lord would be unable to control the lith' at this point. Then the lith' could be strapped down to a soopa-engine and some treads, and used as a regenerating metal Battlefortress.

Orky Kno-wats constantly amazes me.

-Dirge
 

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Discussion Starter #12
The one thing that I find about this story (And this is a little stupid thing that no one else would care about, does nothing to detract from it's awesomeness, and is pretty much useless) is that the Big Mek gave the crystal from the Monolith to the other Mek, severing it's connection to the Lord. The Necron Lord would be unable to control the lith' at this point. Then the lith' could be strapped down to a soopa-engine and some treads, and used as a regenerating metal Battlefortress.

Orky Kno-wats constantly amazes me.

-Dirge

Actually that was kind of my point as to how the orks were able to keep the monolith. Since the homing device was gone it wouldn't phase out. I doubt orks would unerstand Necorn technology so they would probably rip it out and install what they know will work. Now I don't know if the living metal or the Necron AI would repair itself to the point that the orks would not be able to use it. The main point of this was to create some fluff that would give a reasonable explination as to how the orks got a hold of a monolith. From the responses I think I have done a reasonabe job.
 

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yeah i like it...its a funny short read and the end amused me a lot. I think that the mek expected the crystal to go back to the tomb and thats why he gave the other ork a bunch of bombs and primed them. Am i right? Only thing i would have liked was a bit of shooty shooty (or in this case a WHOOOOSH! of promethium) but that is just me liking dakka!
 
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