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Now that your done crossing your legs in agony:

A MAN was rushed to a hospital after a snake bit his penis while he was relieving himself in a toilet, according to hospital officials in Israel. The man, 35, of northern Israel was bitten on Friday after the snake suddenly appeared from inside the toilet.

The man suffered minor injuries from the bite; fortunately the snake was not venomous.

Rescue workers responded to the scene and took the man to Rambam Medical Center in Haifa, where he received medical treatment, reports Your Jewish News.

An examination revealed the snake was not poisonous.

The man told emergency workers it happened after he went to the toilet to relieve himself and suddenly felt a strong burning sensation in his penis.

One of the paramedics said the man told him he has seen the snake and it was very small.

According to the paramedic, despite the location of the injury, the man managed to stay calm and even had a laugh with workers at his own expense.

'This is the first time I've seen a snake bite like this,' the paramedic said.

'Luckily, all tests seem fine and the man is feeling well,' the paramedic added.

'There will undoubtedly be bite marks on the area in question,' the hospital said.

'The snake was not poisonous. The man is currently under observation pending additional test results and as soon as we get the results, he will be able to go home,' the hospital said.

The man was lucky the snake was not venomous since there are many deadly species commonly found in Israel. Snakes are very territorial and will strike out to protect their space, be it a rocky crevice or a domestic toilet.

It is 'snake season' currently in the Middle East and among the most dangerous are the black snake or desert cobra, the horned desert viper, the Palestinian viper which is the most common poisonous snake in Israel, the saw-scaled viper, or the false horned viper.

To prevent meeting a snake in the home, it is recommended to keep the house clear of rats, mice and other snake prey, fix leaky taps (snakes are drawn to water), and try to minimise plants and maximise grass in the garden since plants provide the perfect cover for snakes.

Fix windows on the house and windscreens on cars, to avoid any unwelcome surprises.

Keeping a cat is also a great way to scare off snakes since they are one of their biggest enemies

(SOURCE)
 

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Fuck alone knows what this guy thought he was doing but it sounds highly unlikely to me that a snake would lash out in such a way at someone taking a piss. Most of the time a snake will do its best to stay out of your way and they only ever strike when there is no other option left open to them, the only exceptions to this are a few venomous snakes who will bite first, ask questions later.

I'd say this was more a case of "Honestly, I was doing the vacuuming and I took my clothes off because it was hot and then I slipped and that's how it got up there Doc, honest!"


Dirty boy!
 

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How do we know the snake wasn't trying to get a job in the porn industry as the best deep-throater and accidents happened?
Zion if I could give you rep for that comment here I would. So be satisfied by me giving it for some other post.

But yeah snakes mouths can unhinge so it could work but wouldn't the teeth make it hurt or something?
 

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Zion if I could give you rep for that comment here I would. So be satisfied by me giving it for some other post.

But yeah snakes mouths can unhinge so it could work but wouldn't the teeth make it hurt or something?
Well seeing as the man got bit it's obvious that the snake forgot the first rule of oral: don't use your teeth.
 

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First off, Zion No. Just No. This was not really news; which is odd because you usually have good articles.

Secondly Jinkies!!! Wouldn't want to be that guy. Then again the show "Naked and Alone" in Africa on National Geographic HD channel had something similar happen to one of the contestant; cept it was a python.
 

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First off, Zion No. Just No. This was not really news; which is odd because you usually have good articles.
Yes it is news; just because it is not US focused, highly political, or sensationalist does not mean it is not news even if thats what you would like to think.
 

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True, but I think there are better things than Penis Biting. Gives me the creeps. But I hear what your saying; Free Speech and all.
 

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First off, Zion No. Just No. This was not really news; which is odd because you usually have good articles.
It was reported by several news agencies. That makes it news. And this is more interesting than what Britney Spears is doing anyways.

Monday nights I watch a live stream with a segment called "What the Fuck is Wrong With You?!" that highlights news stories of people doing dumb things (naked rampage is a phrase often used), so I pick the worst of what they present and post it here after the show to share. :grin:

So yes, it's news. It's news because now thousands of men are afraid to sit down on the toilet lest their dick gets bitten off.

Yes it is news; just because it is not US focused, highly political, or sensationalist does not mean it is not news even if thats what you would like to think.
I would say it's a little sensationalist. Definitely bizarre.

True, but I think there are better things than Penis Biting. Gives me the creeps. But I hear what your saying; Free Speech and all.
I shared it because it'd give people the creeps. The best news articles are usually the ones that make you try and figure out how the hell it happened.
 

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Jac "Baneblade" O'Bite
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True, but I think there are better things than Penis Biting. Gives me the creeps.
Diddums. Don't want to know about it? Don't read it, quite simple. Unless you are a mod and what's being posted breaks the rules I wouldn't really recommend you telling people what they can and cannot post.

@Zion. If there is proof he was actually taking a piss when it happened I will change my name to Aunt Sally for a month.
 

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Fuck alone knows what this guy thought he was doing but it sounds highly unlikely to me that a snake would lash out in such a way at someone taking a piss. Most of the time a snake will do its best to stay out of your way and they only ever strike when there is no other option left open to them, the only exceptions to this are a few venomous snakes who will bite first, ask questions later.
I used to think this too, and then after a couple years running maneuvers at Camp Pendleton I noticed that the rattle snakes I keep running into aren't slithering away, they are coiled up in the middle of the trails waiting to strike balls before rattling. I'm just glad that my brain was registering the coiled shaped at the edge of my periphery vision as something to pay attention to.

Of course that's not to say something else was going on which resulted in a struck dong.
 

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Im curious what his pwnis was doing next to the snake. But after watching Jonny Jihad go to town on his goats i put nothing past man when hes ready to beat that shit like it owes him money.
 

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Snakes can be aggressive if you surprise them. Lived in Texas for s few years when young. Had one snake chase my brother out of the bathroom from behind the toilet. He had slammed the lid up and heard a his while he was undoing his fly. Had another snake rear up and spit in my mother's face in the laundry room. She sat in the kitchen and screamed every time she saw it in the laundry room door window. Each time she screamed it hissed and struck the window which set her off again. Both snakes non poisonous, didn't help my mother's phobia of snakes at all.
 
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