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Cactus forcefucking might interest that friend of mine in guantanamo. In there, they have already used the serpent spam to mindcrush fluffy players from all over the world
 

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'But why can't my football Team made up entirely of defenders win the Champions League?'

'But why won't my 18th century musket win olympic gold in shooting'

Two very common complaints heard in the respective sports.



 
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