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Discussion Starter #281
Its worth the conversation.

With an eye for it to be a few months out.

Talking about things is good, and more you talk about things less they are likely to surprise.
I can't help but agree with you Uveron, but, I'm not even a year out from my divorce having been finalized, next week will make a year since I left and filed.
Personally, I'm not sure if I'm ready for moving in with her just yet. I figured that would come along, but, later down the road
 

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Forgive my ignorance, but if you aren't sure you are ready, why are you?

I mean it's a nice thing, but if you aren't ready for it the surely you'll just be moving into a scenario you'll feel uncomfortable with, which could potentially spoil what seems to be working out as a pretty fantastic relationship.
 

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Discussion Starter #283
Forgive my ignorance, but if you aren't sure you are ready, why are you?

I mean it's a nice thing, but if you aren't ready for it the surely you'll just be moving into a scenario you'll feel uncomfortable with, which could potentially spoil what seems to be working out as a pretty fantastic relationship.
Actually, I haven't moved in. I still have my own place and I do enjoy it. I think that this early on it would be a bit of a rush when we've only seen one another for a little over 3 months. I like Melissa a lot and would like to cultivate that over time so that its not, in the end, a relationship with two people that can't get along... which is what my marriage was. I'd really rather not make that mistake again and feel as if I had negatively impacted/influenced another person's life.
I just feel that going slower, this time, would be for the betterment of our relationship.
Things are working very fantastically right now and I'd like to not ruin it.
 

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Ah I see now, my bad. I read it wrong! It's good to think about these sorts of things so you don't end up stumbling blindly into a situation you don't want to been in.

At least she gets you to think about those things before they happen, rather than assuming your position on it and one/both of you being shocked later down the line.
 

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Discussion Starter #285
Ah I see now, my bad. I read it wrong! It's good to think about these sorts of things so you don't end up stumbling blindly into a situation you don't want to been in.

At least she gets you to think about those things before they happen, rather than assuming your position on it and one/both of you being shocked later down the line.
Thanks Deus, I hadn't had it occur to me til now that she is putting out feelers to see my reaction to things and putting the thought in my head... or is it manipulation? Hmm... :grin:
 

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Discussion Starter #287
If she is missing items of clothing it is manipulation.
Really? So when she started talking about it, went into the kitchen, then came out wearing just the apron, that was the manipulation, huh? And here I thought she was just trying to be tidy with the apron!:shok:


If only I lived in a house where that happened.
 

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Jace, I think you have the right of it. Be open and honest about how you feel, what you're ready for and what you're not. Good communication is key and it can take time to build that.

As long as you are operating in good faith and aren't stringing her along then you are asking her to wait until you're ready, with the implication that at some point you will be ready to cohabitate.

And besides in any good relationship, cohabitation, or marriage both people want to be there AND are ready to be there.
 

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Discussion Starter #289
Jace, I think you have the right of it. Be open and honest about how you feel, what you're ready for and what you're not. Good communication is key and it can take time to build that.

As long as you are operating in good faith and aren't stringing her along then you are asking her to wait until you're ready, with the implication that at some point you will be ready to cohabitate.

And besides in any good relationship, cohabitation, or marriage both people want to be there AND are ready to be there.
Krueger, you hit the nail very squarely on its head in that.
 

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Discussion Starter #291
I don't think she'll have a problem with waiting either.

Mostly, I'm thinking this is along similar lines to the having kids, major purchase, and the Zombie question. Oddly enough, the Zombie question had the same serious tone and inflection to it as this.
 

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Mostly, I'm thinking this is along similar lines to the having kids, major purchase, and the Zombie question. Oddly enough, the Zombie question had the same serious tone and inflection to it as this.
thats because that question has become as important as "does this make my butt look big" to women.
 

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Yeah, sometimes it works and mostly I think that's due to me not being the only one not wanting to go.

Then that is just an extra good win on your part. Use that excuse as long as possible because like all good things it will come to an end soon or later.
 
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