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Welcome to the year's eighth

For those of you that are unfamiliar with HOES, here's how it works:

Each month, there will be a thread posted in the Original Works forum for that month's HOES competition. For those of you interested in entering, read the entry requirements, write a story that fits the chosen theme and post it as a reply to the competition thread by the deadline given. Each and every member of Heresy Online is more than welcome to compete, whether your entry is your first post or your thousandth. We welcome everyone to join the family of the Fan Fiction Forum.

Once the deadline has passed, a separate voting thread will be posted, where the readers and writers can post their votes for the top three stories. Points will be awarded (3 points for 1st, 2 for 2nd, and 1 for 3rd) for each vote cast, totalled at the closure of the voting window, and a winner will be announced. The winner will have his/her story added to the Winning HOES thread and be awarded the Lexicanum's Crest award for Fiction excellence!


The idea with the theme is that it should serve as the inspiration for your stories rather than a constraint. While creative thinking is most certainly encouraged, the theme should still be relevant to your finished story. The chosen theme can be applied within the WH40K, WHF, HH, and even your own completely original works (though keep in mind, this IS a Warhammer forum) but there will be no bias as to which setting is used for your story.

As far as the theme goes, please feel free with future competitions to contact me with your ideas/proposals, especially given that my creative juices may flow a bit differently than yours. All I ask is that you PM me your ideas rather than posting them into the official competition entry/voting threads to keep posts there relevant to the current competition.

Word Count

The official word count for this competition will be 1,000 words. There will be a 10% allowance in this limit, essentially giving you a 900-1,100 word range with which to tell your tale. This is non-negotiable. This is an Expeditious Story competition, not an Epic Story nor an Infinitesimal Story competition. If you are going to go over or under the 900-1,100 word limit, you need to rework your story. It is not fair to the other entrants if one does not abide by the rules. If you cannot, feel free to PM me with what you have and I'll give suggestions or ideas as to how to broaden or shorten your story.

Each entry must have a word count posted with it. Expect a reasonably cordial PM from me (and likely some responses in the competition thread) if you fail to adhere to this rule. The word count can be annotated either at the beginning or ending of your story, and does not need to include your title.

Without further ado...

The theme for this month's competition is:


Entries should be posted in this thread, along with any comments that the readers may want to give (and comments on stories are certainly encouraged in both the competition and voting threads!) 40K, 30K, WHF, and original universes are all permitted (please note, this excludes topics such as Halo, Star Wars, Forgotten Realms, or any other non-original and non-Warhammer settings). Keep in mind, comments are more than welcome! If you catch grammar or spelling errors, the writers are all more than free to edit their piece up until the close of the competition, and that final work will be the one considered for voting. Sharing your thoughts with the writers as they come up with their works is a great way to help us, as a FanFiction community, grow as a whole.

The deadline for entries is Midnight GMT, 30 September 2016
. Remember, getting your story submitted on 22nd will be just as considered by others as one submitted on 11th! Take as much time as you need to work on your piece! Any entries submitted past the deadline will not be considered in the competition, regardless of whether the voting thread is posted or not.

Additional Incentive
If simply being victorious over your comrades is not enough to possess you to write a story, there will be rep rewards granted to those that participate in the HOES Challenge.

Participation - 1 reputation points, everyone will receive this
3rd place - 2 reputation points
2nd place - 3 reputation points
1st place - 4 reputation points and Lexicanum's Crest

If you have any questions, feel free to ask in this thread.

Without further nonsense from me, let the writing begin!


1,547 Posts
Brother Emund

(1084 words)​

The Eldar were a worthy foe. Physically, they were effeminate and gangly and they spoke in a complex, high-pitched warble. Their war gear also looked flimsy and impractical and was more in harmony with the stage than the battlefield. But as soldiers, they were formidable, fast and deadly and their weapons were lethal.

They had caught the patrol in a text-book ambush and cut them down like a scythe through ripe wheat. Thirty seconds after walking into the clearing it was all over. Sixteen Troopers had been reduced to quivering jelly by the Eldar’s wicked Shuriken catapults. They never had the chance to return.

And that was indeed was the question that perplexed the watcher. Where did the Eldar appear from? How were they able to destroy the patrol so effectively without being discovered? Why were they even here in the first place?
He suspected that he knew the answer.

It did not make sense. This was Imperium territory, a well-established human settlement in a system ruled by the iron fist of Terra. Yet these bone-white warriors with their red horsehair plumes and shining gemstones managed to slip in and butcher these men. They had killed the men and risked discovery for what? There was something here that had brought the Eldar out.

Now they were preparing to leave.

And I will follow, said the watcher, climbing slowly to his feet and tucking himself in behind a thick gorse bush. His chameleon cloak would ensure that these suspicious, diligent harp-singers, would not detect him.

He who allows the alien to live, shares in the crime of its existence

He remembered the quote he had heard from Inquisitor Apollyon, of the Ordo Xenos.

We shall make them reap the whirlwind for their arrogance. I swear my blood oath as a servant of The Holy Orders of the Inquisition that you will rue the day that you let Ferrand de san Martinez into your labyrinth of little secrets.

+ They are on the move. All units stand-by +

It had taken his team years of careful study and hard work, sifting through an infinity of information and rumours, until they were finally lead here to this green and blue planet with its rolling hills and valleys, a veritable paradise that had still not been contaminated by the vulgar dismemberment of the Mechanicum and its machines.
Yes, but Martinez trusted his instincts.
The Eldar had once claimed that this planet was theirs and theirs alone. They had terraformed it long ago to await their return. The Mon-keigh had no right to be here, no right to pollute their lands.

Two companies of The Emperor’s Vengeance Space Marine Chapter repudiated their claim to the planet and in one week of annihilation and destruction had sent the xenos running.

Now they had returned. But how?

Martinez believed he had the answer. He had finally found what could not be found. He had found the mysterious Webway so ruthlessly protected by the Eldar and their secret guardians. They would not let it fall into the hands of the Mon-keigh… or worse.
The Heretic Czevak, once of The Holy Inquisition, was rumoured to have discovered it, and tales say he still wanders its paths to this day.

Tales and rumours.

The Eldar moved into single file and weaved their way back into the undergrowth. They would soon be out of sight. Martinez could not lose them, not now. A single Eldar remained stationary to the rear of the column brandishing a Death Spinner in his arms.

+ Sister Balakhnova. Dispatch the rear-guard… silently. We will loop around and trap the xenos +
+ It will be done +

Martinez smiled inwardly. Although she was Adepta Sororitas, she was also a Nunciate Advance, a diplomat, and able to use the spoken word. This was very handy, as Martinez had never mastered their complex battle signs.
He knew that the Battle sister would already be moving in for the kill and the result was a foregone conclusion. He must look to the rest.

He pushed aside a tall mass of bracken and found the beginning of the clearing. He could not see them yet but he knew that Captain Gustloff and his Stormtroopers were over to his right and to ground, Brother Berezovsky and a section of Soroitas to the left. He knew that The Crimson Sabres Techmarine (Excommunicate Traitoris) would consider this task as demeaning and below him. Skulking in the undergrowth was not his way, he was Astartes and on a penance crusade, and wanted to be in the thick of battle and visible to his enemies.
A raised eyebrow from Martinez was all it took. Even an Astartes paid reverence to a Lord Inquisitor.

He would hide in the dirt and await his orders.

He skirted the clearing, keeping it to his right and then he was there, he had found them, but above all, he had found it. The entrance.
Now he would unleash the power of the Inquisition. Now he would make the Eldar pay for their bluster and conceit. Two words, two words that would bring him renown incarnate.

+ Take it +

A hundred Stormtroopers and three squads of Sisters erupted from the undergrowth and swamped the surprised Eldar. They fell easily, overrun and outnumbered.

+ The entrance. Secure the entrance at all costs +

Suddenly and without notice, the entrance lit up as bright as a star.

Dazzlingly fast, a flurry of colour and shapes, a howl as loud as the loudest thunder. It was a Harlequin, one of the keepers of the gate. It dispatched two of the Stormtroopers in the time it took to blink, a second later it had pinned Brother Berezovsky to the ground, impaling him through the shoulder with a slender sword. It smiled as the Techmarine attempted to swat it away and then nimbly somersaulted back into the Webway as quick as it had arrived. A black skull-helmeted avatar of death wagged a warning finger towards the Inquisitor before spraying the front of his men with a hammering weapon of untold destruction. Martinez howled with frustration.

+ All weapons, concentrate on the Death Jester +

But it was too late. The guardians of the web had seen to that.
What was found was now lost in a calamity of sound, violent colour and energy, and as if it never existed, the entrance disappeared for ever.

There is no art more beautiful and diverse as the art of death.


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