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Heresy-Online's Expeditious Stories 14-08: Vision

1523 Views 6 Replies 6 Participants Last post by  unxpekted22
Welcome to the year's eighth

For those of you that are unfamiliar with HOES, here's how it works:

Each month, there will be a thread posted in the Original Works forum for that month's HOES competition. For those of you interested in entering, read the entry requirements, write a story that fits the chosen theme and post it as a reply to the competition thread by the deadline given. Each and every member of Heresy Online is more than welcome to compete, whether your entry is your first post or your thousandth. We welcome everyone to join the family of the Fan Fiction Forum.

Once the deadline has passed, a separate voting thread will be posted, where the readers and writers can post their votes for the top three stories. Points will be awarded (3 points for 1st, 2 for 2nd, and 1 for 3rd) for each vote cast, totalled at the closure of the voting window, and a winner will be announced. The winner will have his/her story added to the Winning HOES thread and be awarded the Lexicanum's Crest award for Fiction excellence!


The idea with the theme is that it should serve as the inspiration for your stories rather than a constraint. While creative thinking is most certainly encouraged, the theme should still be relevant to your finished story. The chosen theme can be applied within the WH40K, WHF, HH, and even your own completely original works (though keep in mind, this IS a Warhammer forum) but there will be no bias as to which setting is used for your story.

As far as the theme goes, please feel free with future competitions to contact me with your ideas/proposals, especially given that my creative juices may flow a bit differently than yours. All I ask is that you PM me your ideas rather than posting them into the official competition entry/voting threads to keep posts there relevant to the current competition.

Word Count

The official word count for this competition will be 1,000 words. There will be a 10% allowance in this limit, essentially giving you a 900-1,100 word range with which to tell your tale. This is non-negotiable. This is an Expeditious Story competition, not an Epic Story nor an Infinitesimal Story competition. If you are going to go over or under the 900-1,100 word limit, you need to rework your story. It is not fair to the other entrants if one does not abide by the rules. If you cannot, feel free to PM me with what you have and I'll give suggestions or ideas as to how to broaden or shorten your story.

Each entry must have a word count posted with it. Expect a reasonably cordial PM from me (and likely some responses in the competition thread) if you fail to adhere to this rule. The word count can be annotated either at the beginning or ending of your story, and does not need to include your title.

Without further ado...

The theme for this month's competition is:


Entries should be posted in this thread, along with any comments that the readers may want to give (and comments on stories are certainly encouraged in both the competition and voting threads!) 40K, 30K, WHF, and original universes are all permitted (please note, this excludes topics such as Halo, Star Wars, Forgotten Realms, or any other non-original and non-Warhammer settings). Keep in mind, comments are more than welcome! If you catch grammar or spelling errors, the writers are all more than free to edit their piece up until the close of the competition, and that final work will be the one considered for voting. Sharing your thoughts with the writers as they come up with their works is a great way to help us, as a FanFiction community, grow as a whole.

The deadline for entries is Midnight GMT, 31 August 2014
. Remember, getting your story submitted on 22nd will be just as considered by others as one submitted on 11th! Take as much time as you need to work on your piece! Any entries submitted past the deadline will not be considered in the competition, regardless of whether the voting thread is posted or not.

Additional Incentive
If simply being victorious over your comrades is not enough to possess you to write a story, there will be rep rewards granted to those that participate in the HOES Challenge.

Participation - 1 reputation points, everyone will receive this
3rd place - 2 reputation points
2nd place - 3 reputation points
1st place - 4 reputation points and Lexicanum's Crest

If you have any questions, feel free to ask in this thread.

Without further nonsense from me, let the writing begin!

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The Sacrifice for Victory

Word Count- 1089

“Heed the words of the fallen, sons and daughters of Khaine! The blood of the exiles shall weep from grotesque and crude altars, the shrines of worship dedicated to a corpse of a God!”

Landrun answered the animalistic brute with two imperceptive shakes of his head. He looked out over the shrine of Uppsala, a labyrinth of ferrocrete adorned with gold and silver. The Outcast Ranger swept his long rifle back and forth, no matter which angle he chose next, the inexorable legions of chaos were present. Unaware, perhaps, but present. “Perhaps your Emperor does indeed look after your kind, Brynjar. It’s a miracle that our presence hasn’t been detected yet.”

The Wolf Guard Brynjar White—Beard snorted as any predatory creature would when eluded by its prey. The Space Wolf towered over Landrun, his massive bulk laid down upon the ruins of Gotland Hive beside a dozen handpicked Eldar Rangers, also observing the temple with discerning eyes. He flexed that massive claw interconnected to his gauntlet in unbridled anticipation. The aged monstrosity of a mon—keigh sniggered under his breath, the pure hate in his gaze channeling into the alien beside him.

The Wolf Guard growled, a primitive and crude gesture. “What do your witches say? They can see the future, can they not? Shall my lads fall to bloody ruin this day?”

Landrun sighed. “If we mount an assault without much more of a plan than ‘shred our foes with claw and fang’ than yes, the assault will not go as planned. The enemy can surround us easily if they were aware of our presence. In my opinion, waiting for your other ‘lads’ to arrive will probably be our greatest chance of success. I am signaling kin to withdraw.”

Brynjar snapped his jaws in disapproval, a frightening reaction that made the Eldar around him flinch. “Retreat!? I will never take a step back from the enemy, less our foes overrun us with their heathen armies.” He cast his gaze back down the slope of the ruined building. The White—Beard’s strike force of Space Wolves awaited his command eagerly. “I despise the thought of retreat! Sons of Russ and the All—Father! Attack!”

The distinct bellows of an artillery barrage disturbed the still air of the temple. Sirens wailed the very moment that portions of the ancient shrine collapsed in the wake of the barrage. Hundreds of cultists and dozens of Chaos Marines were buried beneath the rubble. The Sons of Russ hollered over the screams of the dying, charging over the lip of the ruins and into a no man’s land just beyond the Uppsala Shrine. Squadrons of sky blue and bright yellow Predators and Vindicators emerged from the rubble strewn roads of the Hive City, answering the blockading formations of enemy armor with precise barrages. Massive aerial craft that resembled flying buildings swept through the skies, shattering enemies with cannons that turned the lands around them into frozen hells.

Landrun realized that his fate had been sealed. “Rangers of Alatoic! To battle!”

Landrun picked out a dozen skull faced helmets within a minute, placing a charged bolt through each ceramite surface with a precision that would put even the marksmen of the young Tau to shame. He heard the distinct discharges of a hundred long rifles supporting his efforts. Everywhere around the charging Space Wolves, Champions of Chaos and the leaders of the hordes were put down like rabid dogs from afar. Chaos Space Marines noticed their brethren falling over wordlessly, but the bravado of the Space Wolves’ onslaught distracted them from responding altogether.

A Long Rifle fired just over the veteran Ranger’s head. Something on his other flank grunted in pain before collapsing in a heap. Ulreath called out from mere feet away. “Landrun, watch out!”

The Jump Pack wielding Chaos Marines known simply as Raptors soared through the air from unknown positions. They had been waiting for this moment for a long time, judging by their close proximity to the Eldar. Chainswords whirled and Eldar blood spilled freely as six of the Marines fell upon the unsuspecting Outcasts. The Rangers instantly shifted their fire from the outlying towers or were on their feet, blades in hand.

“Damn Mon-Keigh!” Landrun shouted, rolling away from the overhead strike of a whirring chainsword. He managed to leap to his feet, ducking beneath another arced sweep through the air around his head. A kindred Ranger leapt from behind his assailant, but the bark of a bolt pistol tore through his chest, leaving him sprawled amongst the rubble. Landrun fired his Long Rifle, the bolt knocked back the Chaos Marine’s right arm.

The Champion of Chaos roared in fury, unleashing saliva and heated air through the torn gaps in the grill of his helmet. His blade worked back and forth, cutting off each escape route Landrun attempted to take around the bellowing monstrosity. He continued his toying manner until the Eldar was pinned against a half collapsed wall.

“Oh, Bloody Handed Khaine…” Landrun murmured as the Raptor Champion retracted his sword arm for the killing blow. “Forgive me for working with these stupid, lumpen creatures, whom have sealed the fate of me and my kin.” He closed his eyes.

Bright light flashed inside of Landrun’s eyelids, he cried out as a shower sparks touched against his face. There was a wet growling in the air and the sound of blades crackling and clashing. He opened his eyes to reveal Brynjar’s bulk towering in front of him, the massive claw in on his gauntlet cleaving through the Raptor’s chainsword without effort. The Wolf Guard’s axe hand flexed and came down on the Raptor’s skull with all the thunder of a lightning strike. The Aspiring Champion fell, cleaved from skull to chest.

Brynjar’s younger warriors, the ‘Blood Claws’ came storming back towards the Eldar, charging into their foes with an unholy frenzy that made even Landrun pale with fear. Chainswords whirred back and forth, splitting through ceramite and flesh, Blood Claws fell before the expertise of the Raptors. Yet in the end, the Space Wolves were too numerous and tore apart the remaining enemy.

Brynjar smiled and snarled simultaneously. “Bleed your kind may, but that is the price of a victory worth attaining. Come, join the Space Wolves as they revel in the glory of battle! There are many yet that need killing!”

Landrun smiled, relieved. “Yes, we shall see what destiny entails for us, what vision that fate is guiding us toward.”
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