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Heresy-Online's Expeditious Stories 14-08: Vision

1525 Views 6 Replies 6 Participants Last post by  unxpekted22
Welcome to the year's eighth

For those of you that are unfamiliar with HOES, here's how it works:

Each month, there will be a thread posted in the Original Works forum for that month's HOES competition. For those of you interested in entering, read the entry requirements, write a story that fits the chosen theme and post it as a reply to the competition thread by the deadline given. Each and every member of Heresy Online is more than welcome to compete, whether your entry is your first post or your thousandth. We welcome everyone to join the family of the Fan Fiction Forum.

Once the deadline has passed, a separate voting thread will be posted, where the readers and writers can post their votes for the top three stories. Points will be awarded (3 points for 1st, 2 for 2nd, and 1 for 3rd) for each vote cast, totalled at the closure of the voting window, and a winner will be announced. The winner will have his/her story added to the Winning HOES thread and be awarded the Lexicanum's Crest award for Fiction excellence!


The idea with the theme is that it should serve as the inspiration for your stories rather than a constraint. While creative thinking is most certainly encouraged, the theme should still be relevant to your finished story. The chosen theme can be applied within the WH40K, WHF, HH, and even your own completely original works (though keep in mind, this IS a Warhammer forum) but there will be no bias as to which setting is used for your story.

As far as the theme goes, please feel free with future competitions to contact me with your ideas/proposals, especially given that my creative juices may flow a bit differently than yours. All I ask is that you PM me your ideas rather than posting them into the official competition entry/voting threads to keep posts there relevant to the current competition.

Word Count

The official word count for this competition will be 1,000 words. There will be a 10% allowance in this limit, essentially giving you a 900-1,100 word range with which to tell your tale. This is non-negotiable. This is an Expeditious Story competition, not an Epic Story nor an Infinitesimal Story competition. If you are going to go over or under the 900-1,100 word limit, you need to rework your story. It is not fair to the other entrants if one does not abide by the rules. If you cannot, feel free to PM me with what you have and I'll give suggestions or ideas as to how to broaden or shorten your story.

Each entry must have a word count posted with it. Expect a reasonably cordial PM from me (and likely some responses in the competition thread) if you fail to adhere to this rule. The word count can be annotated either at the beginning or ending of your story, and does not need to include your title.

Without further ado...

The theme for this month's competition is:


Entries should be posted in this thread, along with any comments that the readers may want to give (and comments on stories are certainly encouraged in both the competition and voting threads!) 40K, 30K, WHF, and original universes are all permitted (please note, this excludes topics such as Halo, Star Wars, Forgotten Realms, or any other non-original and non-Warhammer settings). Keep in mind, comments are more than welcome! If you catch grammar or spelling errors, the writers are all more than free to edit their piece up until the close of the competition, and that final work will be the one considered for voting. Sharing your thoughts with the writers as they come up with their works is a great way to help us, as a FanFiction community, grow as a whole.

The deadline for entries is Midnight GMT, 31 August 2014
. Remember, getting your story submitted on 22nd will be just as considered by others as one submitted on 11th! Take as much time as you need to work on your piece! Any entries submitted past the deadline will not be considered in the competition, regardless of whether the voting thread is posted or not.

Additional Incentive
If simply being victorious over your comrades is not enough to possess you to write a story, there will be rep rewards granted to those that participate in the HOES Challenge.

Participation - 1 reputation points, everyone will receive this
3rd place - 2 reputation points
2nd place - 3 reputation points
1st place - 4 reputation points and Lexicanum's Crest

If you have any questions, feel free to ask in this thread.

Without further nonsense from me, let the writing begin!

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1027 words

“People only see what they want to see”
~ Raldo Merson, Ancient Terran Philosopher​

“NOT FAR NOW trooper, keep going”, Ehrenburg whispered quietly into his companions ear, “hot caffeine and cakes are waiting for us just up the valley”. He shook his head slowly and glanced back over his shoulder for the hundredth time.
Hot caffeine and cakes?, he very much doubted that. More like a bullet to the skull for abandoning our posts.
His companion was finished and he knew it, but he could not leave him now.

“We Never leave our own behind”

That was a motto drummed into them in the Regiment.
Ehrenburg knew that time was running out and the wounded man, good old reliable Bebek, did not have long left, unless he got him to an aid station, and then...?
“It’s too late’ Bebek hissed “they are all around us, I can feel them”
Ehrenburg hauled up his Lasgun and scanned the surrounding area. Night was drawing in so he concentrated on the lengthening shadows around the base of the trees and up high in the branches.

How long had it been since the attack? Two days, three maybe? It all blurred in a haze of pain, death and slaughter. There had been eight of them then, eight from a platoon of thirty-five. All of them gone, everyone that he had ever known. All of them taken by… them.

He lay Bebek down on a mound of soft moss and lifted up his head. Agony stared back at him. Agony and helplessness.
He pulled back the man’s tunic and examined the wound to his chest. The field dressing was dark with congealed blood and when he leant forward Ehrenburg could smell a dusky odour which signalled the onset of infection. He stroked back some of Bebek’s hair and tried to smile at him. It was a weak attempt, but it seemed to brighten his friends mood.
“It’s festering, I know” Bebek coughed “I can feel it”. Ehrenburg turned away and fumbled with his aid kit on his lap.
There is nothing in here that can save him.
“Listen Bebek” he added quickly, “I’ll get you to the Apothecary and you will be fine. They can work wonders you know”
“I have seen..” Bebek whispered. Ehrenburg clamped his hand around the dying man’s mouth.
“You have seen nothing” he hissed “do you hear me, you have seen nothing” he pulled his hand away and sighed “Talk like that will get you shot if the Commissars hear you”
“It’s too late… you filth”. Ehrenburg turned slowly, but all he saw was the wounded Trooper staring back, pain etched across his face and his jaw clamped shut.
Had he heard?
“What did you say”?
Bebek’s wide eyes met him.
“We must go now, I can walk so let’s get out of here”. He pulled himself slowly to his feet and as he did so a feeble cry left his lips. Ehrenburg pulled his arm over his shoulder and shuffled to distribute the weight. He held his Lasgun in his right hand as an improvised walking stick. He glanced back the way they came and then at the darkening forest in front.

“If in doubt, Bebek, go straight ahead. The Emperor will guide us”
A cry rang out behind them. It was faint, but definitely a cry… or a howl.
“Let’s go” Ehrenburg whispered and pulled the wounded Trooper with him. Bebek whimpered but readily allowed himself to be lead.
The Emperor will not help you

“Come on Trooper, have faith. His light shall guide us”
Corpse on a filthy Throne

They came to a clearing and beyond that was a small brook. It was not wide, but the banks were steep on either side. Ehrenburg looked at his companion. Bebek was pale and his skin was pasty. Sweat beaded his forehead and he muttered to himself. He appeared to be unconscious though he was still walking and was still allowing himself to be lead.
“Trooper”, Ehrenburg lifted up the wounded mans head. “You will be fine, just stay with me”. He grimaced. He could clearly smell the wound now and the odour made him retch.
Bebek managed a stuttering laugh.
“It’s really bad. You know how bad it is” he held onto Ehrenburg’s shoulder and whispered into his ear. “Kill me. Kill me before it is too late”
No, he will not kill you. He is afraid

Ehrenburg released his companion, letting him fall roughly to the ground. He raised his Lasgun and pointed it at Bebek.
“No!” he hissed “I will save you”
Like the rest of your Platoon, Lieutenant Ehrenburg?

“Who said that”?. Ehrenburg scanned the clearing, left to right and then back again, like they were taught. The forest was silent. Even the night sounds were gone.

“Lieutenant” Bebek whimpered “Leave me and save yourself”.
Ehrenburg pulled him roughly to his feet and tugged his arm over his shoulder again. With almost super-human strength, he then threw the man over his shoulders.
Looking back to the forest behind, he then scrambled down the bank and into the cool waters of the brook.
Bebek laughed.

“Shut up Trooper”
“Kill me”
Kill Him
Within seconds they were on the other side and Ehrenburg found new strength. He began to jog, slowly at first, but then, as if his companion was not there, opened up the pace.
“I can see them” cried Bebek.
“Shut up Trooper”

He stumbled forward, jettisoning his charge into the bushes in front. He collided heavily with the stump of a tree losing his Lasgun into the darkness.
“I am here, Lieutenant”
Ehrenburg rolled onto his good side and saw his companion. He was lit up with a faint glow and was standing. On the edge of the light small figures flitted and chattered.

“It was the bite, wasn’t it”? he whispered.
Very good. Yes, the bite was sweet. Now we will feast on your blood

Bebek was no longer the Trooper he knew any more but a thing possessed.
It is a word
“Well I hope I make you sick”
He see’s them all, as you will
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Excellent, the gauntlet has been flung down!
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