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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
hey everyone, i've got a few stories on the go and will be posting them soon.

but was looking for a bit of help with my new chapters back story, the sea dragons.

Was thinking of having them as loyal remnants of the Alfa legion. Who for obvious reasons, dropped their name changed the colour of their amour and found a secluded planet to rebuild their forces.
Calling them the sea dragons, says to me an ocean world with little land. I was also thinking the planet could be on the outer edges of the segmentum pacifcus.

any help would be much Appreciated
 

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Sounds as if you have a good strong base to go on so far.

Questions I would ask:
How did they get seperated?
Why did they remain loyal?
Do they use the same tactics or differ from the norm of the Alpha Legion?
What have they been doing for the last 10,000 years?
Does the imperium know of their exsistance?
Are they going to get along with the Imperium after their break?
Are they secretive?
What do they tell the imperium their story is (kinda Dark Angels like)?

Hope this helps some. Looking forward to reading your story.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 · (Edited)
Primarch: Alpharius

Loyal remnants of the Alpha legion.

Chapter name: Sea dragons

Current chapter master: Vaporus the VII

Chapter symbol: Leviathan

Markings: Black, blue, silver and red amour/ dragon head on left shoulder plate.

Home planet: Leviathan Prime.

System: unknown

History.

Pre-founding

According to imperial records, during the Horus heresy the entire Alfa legion turned traitor and fought against their brothers. The question that needs asking is. Are these records true??…

After the Tesstra Prime campaign many marines started to see changes in the attitude and character of their commanders. Resentment towards other legions and the emperor became an unstoppable force surging in waves. Until the primarch himself declared that the emperor cared not for his sons but only for himself. Alpharius sided with Horus and led his marines down the path of chaos. Several squads still loyal to the emperor were hunted down and dismembered by their brothers as sacrifices to their new masters.
Captain Vaporus and his company rallied two other companies still loyal to the emperor along with brother apothecary's Aquatis and Boronus also the brother tech-marine's Zionus and Xceilon. Taking advantage of the “drop site massacre”, the loyal faction of the alpha legion boarded a strike cruiser faking engine troubles. Storming off the thunder hawk Captain Vaporus took the three companies on a purge. Fuelled by rage that any brother could turn their back on the god emperor, Vaporus delivered the emperors might and justice to all those that stood before him. Commandeering the cruiser and ordering the navigator to plot a course far from any sector held by the imperium.

All comments are welcome

note: this is part one with changes
 

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Instead of 4 squads, i would make it 4 companies, 40 marines vs 400 for refounding a chapter, even after 10,000 years. Or you could also make it one full chapter that made it's escape in a strike cruiser.

My job consists of being an editor (kinda) in the Army so I could point a few things out but Sergeant is a title and should be capitialized. Just keep that in mind.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
cheers djinn24

made a few changes so please read again. part 2 should be up soon

Sea Dragon
 

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As someone who tried a vaguely similar concept once, I think I can help. Having a loyal, but by definition heretical, Chapter, is difficult to work in with existing fluff. Almost no matter what you do, they'll end up on the run from the Imperium or in the Dark Gods' laps--or both. The best you can do is figure out how they try to dupe the Imperium for as long as they can.

Keep in mind that the Adeptus Mechanicus will know that they're Alpha Legionnaires-- all loyal Space Marine Chapters are required to submit a sample of their genetic material for testing and storage to Mars. You'll need to give some consideration as to how they get around that problem. If someone figures out that they've got Alpharius' blood in their veins, they'll have a rather large problem on their hands, and it'll most likely come in the form of glistening silver armour and force halberds.

One possible solution to that issue is to have them simply not submit gene-seed. That being said, they'd have to find a way to hide their existence from the Imperium, which could be difficult if they intend to actually participate in wars on the Imperium's behalf.

Another (and suitably Alpha Legion-esque, even prior to the Heresy) possibilty is that they don't submit their own gene-seed to Mars. Chapters which have developed genetic flaws often resort to such tactics, taking every opportunity to acquire gene-seed from fallen comrades from other Chapters. It is not uncommon for two Chapters to respond to the same call for aid, after all, and if one of your Sea Dragon apothecaries could get to a fallen (Fill in the blank Chapter) Space Marine first before his own was able to retrieve the body, they'd be able to submit it as their own. Keep in mind that that sort of behavior is the first step on the road to damnation for the Chapter, and that sort of desperation often leads to the Dark Gods' doorstep.

Policy regarding the Inquisition is also a concern. Chapters which have anything to hide from the Inquisition (and yours certainly does) need a way to dispose of any Inquisitor that comes knocking, whether it be a routine inspection by the Ordo Hereticus, or a random encounter. Simply making the Inquisitors "disappear" doesn't quite work, either, since eventually, the Inquisition will figure out that the Chapter is killing off anyone that investigates them.

Fortunately, it's very difficult for the Inqusition to get too involved in what the Chapter actually believes in a spiritual sense. Very few Chapters adhere to the protocols of the Adeptus Ministorum, and by the Emperor's law, there is a certain degree of acceptance, particularly in regard to the Astartes, allowed for variation in creed. Most Chapters do worship their Primarch, if they know who he is-- and yours obviously knows their heritage. There's nothing surer to cause an Inquisitorial purge than worshipping a traitor Primarch, though. As long as the Sea Dragons maintain at least a vague worship of the Emperor, that should be fine by the Ministorum, and by extension, the Ordo Hereticus.
 

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Part one is much better and also Son of Horus brings up some very very good points to consider in regards to their history. You have the chance of writing a very good chapter history in regards to your chapter! I am looking forward to reading the rest of it.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
ive got most of the story on paper just have to get it on the comp. one Question though lets say my chapter does come clean and reports that they are alpha legion desendants yet are loyal to the emperor would the Ministrum and ordo hereticus still purge my chapter

cheers for all the help
 

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That is a gut call on your part. I would honestly say they would come down on you and try to wipe you out ooorrrrr maybe they could send you on a quest for forgivness (repentent quest?). There are several possibilities. Good example are the Mantis Warriors from the books.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 · (Edited)
part 2.

Out of the 300 marine that boarded the strike cruiser, 253 remained as the ship traversed the imperium. Records of this time are none existent but surviving records state that upon leaving the Segmentum Pacificus and heading in to the western expanse the number of marines was at 300.
The loyal faction finally came across an isolated planetary system; the system consisted of two planets and was far from the eyes of the imperium. The larger of the two was a lush jungle planet, with a dead baron moon. The second planet was a mass body of water with very little solid land mass. Scans of the two told a very different story. The jungle planet was over run with the green plague (orks). The water world was populated by a sea going tribal human population that periodically came under attack from orks. The humans though technologically advanced had no space port and built their cities on huge floating platforms. Only two of the tribal clans lived on solid ground. These two clans controlled huge underground forges that created the metal used to create the floating cities. Captain Vaporus upon seeing a human settlement under attack from the orks ordered his marines to saddle up.

Captain Vaporus gaining the gratitude of the local inhabitancy was able to acquire vast amounts of metal and other resources. The captain orders brothers Xceilon and Zionus to design a fortress Monastery from which they could protect the planet and purge the ork menace from the system. In time the fortress was built, a floating structure of monumental proportions.

Founding of the chapter.

In the centre of the newly finished fortress was a great hall, with depictions of the emperor in gold amour on the walls. Reams of holy text covered the columns. The west wall was the history of the chapter, this wall was blank.

Captain Vaporus: My brothers, we are what is left of our once great legion. Those of us who have strayed from the true righteous path must be hunted down and destroyed. Our once great Primarch has fallen, fallen were no salvation but the salvation of death can cleanse his soul. Thus my brothers we must wash ourselves of this vile taint. From this day forth, we cast off the name the Alpha legion and on this planet leviathan Prime we will be born anew. We will start a new Chapter in our history one in which the emperors glory and justice guide us, one in which the Sea Dragons will cleanse the taint of chaos from the imperium.

For the next 200 years the Sea Dragons, recruited from the local population, building up its force. Sykers within the recruits were singled out and killed by Vaporus’s (who was now Chapter Master) order because it was the librarians who spread the word of chaos (according to him). The Chapter had a high number of chaplains who had now also taken on the role of recording the Chapter’s history on the great halls wall.
The recruit’s final test was a test of survival. This represented the struggle the founding brothers when thought storming the strike crusier. This test consisted of sending the trainees to the ork infested world and culling their numbers.
 

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You have a great foundation that you have built but imho I think you need to go back and expand on some areas, expand them a bit and flesh them out, I was dissapointed when you skipped over the battle with the orcs and how the SM won the hearts of the people. It is not clear, does your chapter use no librarians or just very picky about them? Keep it up, looking forward to the next part!
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
cool ill build it up a bit. ye after i posted it i went back and whent over it. i must admit it did sound a bit weak. my chapter doesn't use librarians. ill try to make it a bit clearer. the battle i missed that out coz well im not that great at writing battles they always end up sounding wimpy... well ill give it a go.

cheers djinn
 

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Very cool, you can actually use the disadvantage of no Librarians and be able to take a positive trait for your army. Looking forward to hearing the rest of it, I write much the same way, write an outline, then go back and fill it and continue to do that until I have a full fledged story written.
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
Part 2 re-done and extended

Out of the 300 marine that boarded the strike cruiser, 253 remained as the ship traversed the imperium. Records of this time are none existent but surviving records state that upon leaving the Segmentum Pacificus and heading in to the western expanse the number of marines was at 300.
The loyal faction finally came across an isolated planetary system; the system consisted of two planets and was far from the eyes of the imperium. The larger of the two was a lush jungle planet, with a dead baron moon. The second planet was a mass body of water with very little solid land mass. Scans of the two told a very different story. The jungle planet was over run with the green plague (orks). The water world was populated by a sea going tribal human population that periodically came under attack from orks. The humans though technologically advanced had no space port and built their cities on huge floating platforms. Only two of the tribal clans lived on solid ground. These two clans controlled huge underground forges that created the metal used to create the floating cities. Captain Vaporus upon seeing a human settlement under attack from the orks ordered his marines to saddle up. From orbit the strike crusier fired at incoming ork asteroid landing craft taking out several of them. Wave after wave of asteroids fell towards the planet. Battling against the odds only three of the ork craft hit planet side, hundreds of orks spilled on to the largest of the islands and were advancing like a green tide towards the city.

Captain Vaporus his personal guard and three other squads climbed in to drop pods. Their designated drop site was on the out skirts of the city directly in front of the ork hoard. Captain Vaporus opened communications on his vox unit, “LAUCH”. High-G’s slammed into him as the pod screamed towards the surface, Vaporus’s hud counted down 3..2..1.. With a hiss the pod doors crashed into the ground and Vaporus stepped on to soil for the first time in years. Over the coms, “report” three green lights flashed in his hud, indicating all green with the squads.

“squad 6, verify the ork infestations location, but do not engage. Report back and find a sniper position, now go”.

“yes my lord”.

“squad 2 & 3, secure the area for support troops”.

“yes lord”

“Thunder hawk 5, DZ clear. Get down here now”

“my lord”

The inbound thunder hawk, touched down and unloaded its tactical and devastator squads. As soon as the marines were unloaded the thunder hawk lifted off returning to the ship.

Over coms “scouts report”

“Brother Captain, ork main force approaching your position from the west, numbers around 300, eta two minutes”.

“brothers, fall back to the west edge of the clearing keep the city to your backs, we will catch them in the open. Squad 4 (devistators) head north, and hit the aliens flank”.

Grand Chief Dervil, was going over mining production reports when the sky began to burn. Then the alarm sounded, his heart started to race. The alarm only sounded for one reason orks had come again to plunder the mines for their product. Production had been low for the last few months and so his people were in danger. Outside he could hear women starting to scream. It was then that something else fell from the sky, but these were different sleeker following a more graceful ark. Something snapped in his head, they reminded him of some story his grandfather had told him as a little boy. Something his grandfathers, grandfather had seen, but he couldn’t remember.


The orks burst into the clearing, screaming and showting at each other. “Sudup u idiots. We is almost there, u want the humies to where we is”

“bog off Goremog, u isn’t the boss of me, only da boss gives me odars”

“wat u say u worm. I is gona cho….<FIRE>

Goremog’s head exploded, as heavy bolter slug slammed in to it. The tree line exploded with slugs as the marines opened fire. Ten, twenty of the orks fell dead in the first second. Ork body parts few off as battle brothers’ bolters spat the emperor’s justice into the alien scum. Regaining composer the orks screamed their wwwaaaaggggghhhh and charged at the marines who had started advancing from the trees, bolters blazing. It was then that the second wave hit, the devastator squad opened fire with its two rocket launchers. Blowing a rather large ork through the air to land on several smaller orks. Targeting this group the squads heavy bolters unleashed a wall of death as the group of ork died in a bloody mist.

“Charge” drawing his power sword, Captain Vaporus ran at the ork who had just appeared in the middle of the ork hoard. Surrounded by his guard Vaporus slashed through limbs and bone. Slashing faces of the aliens in to bloody mess. Smashing his own men out of the way to get at the marines, Big Boss Grunk swung a claw at the Captains head only to be confronted by the Captains Sergeant.

“you have to get through me first alien”

“good, I is bin waitin for a good fight”. Swinging his claw at the sergeant’s head. Ducking the sergeant slammed his chain sword up into the boss orks face ripping out its eye. Shouting in rage the boss ork brought his claw down on the sergeants head knocking him down. His eyes clearing, the sergeant was staring up at the barell of a gun “good bye humie”. The sergeants head exploded, splattering brain and bone everywhere.

Marine and ork bodies lay everywhere as Captain Vaporus stood face to ace with the ork boss. “you alien filth, you do not belong on this world, leave or die”

“haha puny humie, we is da orks we don’t run from no ones. This belongs to da orks now”. Firing a few rounds in to the air, “wwwwwaaagghhh”

Captain Vaporus took his sword in two hands as the ork charged towards him. Dodging the first blow from the claw, he brought his sword down on the back of the orks neck slicing its head off. A great groan came from the orks as the bosses head rolled through the mud stopping at the feet of a badly scared ork.

from somewhere to the back of the orks remaining force a shout rang out “we is getting shot up, im off”

“don’t let them escape, kill them all”. The remaining orks were hunted down and destroyed. (although from time to time even to this day some feral orks do appear).

From the towers of the city many clan warriors watched the fight in complete silence amazed and fearful of this new force that so completely destroyed an enemy they could never defeat.

“sergeant report”. Remembering the death of his brother, who had been fighting for so long at his side. Turning to the nearest battle brother, “brother what is your name”

“Castalus my lord”

“brother Castalus you fought well to day. Gather the squads to me I want to know the bill”.

“yes my lord, thank you lord” running of to find his sergeant.

Apothecary Aquatis approached the captain “Captain, we lost 15 of our brothers today and another 3 wont last long. Sergeant Borus and his squad are all dead.”

Aprotching the city the marines were met by an old man a group of warriors who even facing marines showed no fear. This impressed the captain giving him the idea of setting up his fortress on the planet.

The Captain stepped forward and removed his helmet. Showing the clan his human face. The clan visably relaxed, the old man Vaporus assumed was the chief stepped forward and asked what business they had on the planet of Leviathan.

“we are the servants of the emperor of mankind. We have come in peace and no human should fear us, as we are the protectors of mankind, as set down by the holy emperor. But we shall get to that another time, we only wish to settle on your world and recruit your sons into our legion. In return not only your clan but all the clans shall have our protection from all those that would enslave you”.

It took a year and a day for the people of leviathan to think of the marines as their protectors. And the marines did as they promised they protected the inhabitants from countless ork raids. And in return many young boys went to the marine to train and become as they are.

Captain Vaporus gaining the gratitude of the local inhabitancy was able to acquire vast amounts of metal and other resources. The captain orders brothers Xceilon and Zionus to design a fortress Monastery from which they could protect the planet and purge the ork menace from the system. In time the fortress was built, a floating structure of monumental proportions.

Founding of the chapter.

In the centre of the newly finished fortress was a great hall, with depictions of the emperor in gold amour on the walls. Reams of holy text covered the columns. The west wall was the history of the chapter, this wall was blank.

Captain Vaporus: My brothers, we are what is left of our once great legion. Those of us who have strayed from the true righteous path must be hunted down and destroyed. Our once great Primarch has fallen, fallen were no salvation but the salvation of death can cleanse his soul. Thus my brothers we must wash ourselves of this vile taint. From this day forth, we cast off the name the Alpha legion and on this planet leviathan Prime we will be born anew. We will start a new Chapter in our history one in which the emperors glory and justice guide us, one in which the Sea Dragons will cleanse the taint of chaos from the imperium.

For the next 200 years the Sea Dragons, recruited from the local population, building up its force. Sykers within the recruits were singled out and killed by Vaporus’s (who was now Chapter Master) order because it was the librarians who spread the word of chaos. The Chapter had a high number of chaplains who had now also taken on the role of recording the Chapter’s history on the great halls wall.
The recruit’s final test was a test of survival. This represented the struggle the founding brothers when thought storming the strike crusier. This test consisted of sending the trainees to the ork infested world and culling their numbers.
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
part 3 coming soon
 

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Awesome i was thinking of doing something like this for my chapter they are decended from one of the legions and as such are watched very carefully by the inquistion in game terms im gonna have an inquisitor with them at all times...great story though part 3 could be the reaction of the rest of the imperium...
 

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Very good extension. Looking forward to part 3. How long are you planning on making this? I want to know about their training cycle what they do for fun, their main characters, that kind of stuff!
 

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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
hey guys part 3 should be on today or tomoz. been ill !!
 

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Discussion Starter · #20 · (Edited)
ok here we go Part 3.

For the next 200 years the Sea Dragons, recruited from the local population, building up its force. Psykers within the recruits were singled out and killed by Vaporus’s (who was now Chapter Master) order because it was the librarians who spread the word of chaos while the legion was still whole. The Chapter had a high number of chaplains who had now also taken on the role of recording the Chapter’s history on the great halls wall. The high number of Chaplains is to compensate for the lack of the Chapter having no librarians. Also it is to keep the brothers on the emperor’s path.

The Sea dragons still Recruits squad-sized groups as opposed to individuals like the founding legion did. A squad had to master the adaptation from man to Space Marine as a group; if one failed, all were considered to have failed. Foolhardy heroics were frowned upon, and the overall plan was considered more important than any one Marine.
Many of the tests a man had to endure to become a marine of this chapter are physical test. Being a sea world many of these consisted of water training. Made to swim in one spot for hours on end, to raise physical fitness.
Survive in frozen waters in a semi-hypothermic state. As tests progressed a group of recruits would be air lifted 10 miles from the floating fortress and forced to swim back. This distance increased steadily until it became a 100 miles.
Other tests consisted of sending the trainees to the ork infested world and ordering the recruits to cull the number of orks, only able to return to the drop site when each recruit had ten heads with him. This number increased to a hundred in the final of these tests.
Any recruit who survived these tests became a scout in the Sea Dragon’s chapter to finish their training. After completing their training, the recruit’s final test was a test of survival. This represented the struggle the founding brothers when thought storming the strike cruiser. The scouts groups, armed only with combat knives would be dropped on the ork planet. Theses scouts would have to survive on the planet for a month, certain locations with supplies were given to them these supplies raged from food packs to small arms. But there was a catch; the locations were very close to ork camps forcing the scouts to remove the orks before the supply drop would be made. Only by surviving the month would a scout become a full member of the chapter.

Combat Doctrine

The tactics utilized by the Sea Dragons follows the old ways of the founding legion. This revolves around attacking the enemy in as many different ways as possible simultaneously. Many other chapters such as the Ultra Marines do not approve of these hit and run tactics the Sea Dragons sometimes use. Although these tactics are only employed, if totally necessary. The main tactics employed by the Sea Dragons, involve a pincer move, by either surrounding the enemy, charging in on their flacks or using one force to drive the enemy into an ambush where a second force will suddenly appear and savage them from the rear.

Organization.

Standard setup of 10 companies per brigade. (1000 marines per brigade)

Force is split in to 1st and 2nd Brigade.

1st company 1st brigade (Dragon Breath)
1st company 2nd brigade (Leviathan guard)

Those destined to become tech-marines are sent to mars under the name of another chapter.

M32/ 779. Chapter Master Vaporus is severally wounded in ork raid by the ork war boss and is kept alive in a stasis chamber. Commander Suzurus of the 2nd brigade is elevated to Chapter Master. He changes his name to Vaporus II and in doing so starts a tradition, where all following Chapter Masters Change their name to that of their founder. Captain Degrus of the 2nd brigade’s first company is elevated to Commander of the 2nd brigade.

M33/ 012. Sea Dragons Chapter fully restored and consists of 2000 marines. Cruiser patrol comes across derelict battle barge. Finds several damaged tanks and three dreadnaughts. Vaporus I, is finally put into a dreadnaught, and rises again to fight for the chapter.

M33/ 050. Second ork war. New war boss attacks Leviathan prime, and is pushed back. Vaporus II leads his 1st three companies to the ork planet accompanied by commander Degrus and the 1st company of the 2nd brigade. Killing the war boss krunk.

M33/ 055. expeditions to moon of leviathan II (ork planet) to determine it resources. Vaporus II uses found mineral deposits to setup a mining operation and small chapter keep protecting it. Space port built.

RECORDS LOST.

M37/ 361. Vaporus IV is chapter master. Commander Degrus III is new commander of the 2nd brigade after Degrus II dies on ork planet. Track down ex-legion brothers on Mihok Secundus. Vaporus IV wounded, encased in dreadnaught.

M38/ 515. Vaporus V dies fighting orks. Vaporus VI leads Sea Dragons on the great defense of Leviathan II’s moon from Dark Eldar and orks. Commander Degrus V dies at this battle. Commander Castalus I takes his place (no relation to Brother Castalus from Vaporus I’s time).
 
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