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90 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
So my friend decided to call me up and say "Hey lets have a 750pts friendly game, 1 hq, 1-6troops, 1 elite OR heavy"

Me just finishing putting my knew zerkers together, and my new slaanesh sorcerer. so i agreed (first time testing out lash)

Since it was a friendly game I didn't want any beardie cheese. this was the list i brought.

Sorcerer with MoS, Lash, and familiar 130
5 CSM, Champ with PW + Rhino 140
5 CSM, 1 melta (to protect sorcerer) 85
8 zerkers, champ with pw 198
8 zerkers, champ with pw 198

total of 751 (yes i went over BY [email protected]! OH LAWDS OP. BUT we both agreed that its OK)

I didn't bring anything retarded to a low point game *cough* Lash prince *cough* or oblits because it was meant to be a fun game.

This was until I saw his list... which was 2 minutes before the game started

HQ: Pedro. with all his perks... too a fun game... (HE BROUGHT A SPECIAL CHARACTER, WHAT THE HELL)
10 tacticals, plascannon stern
10 tacticals, plascannon stern sergeant with pw
5 tacicals, plascannon stern


the game was SOMEHOW annihilation (I love it, but with his list... whyyyyy T_T)

So right off the bat I was tempted to just say "F*** you and your retarded lists EVERY GAME. Stroking your ego much?"

The terrain was preset by him (Gee I wonder why!?) I asked to roll for terrain placement. He refused *cough*

Rolled for who gets to go (my hopes of going first to get rhino up and pop smoke for cover were high) he rolled a two (YES) I rolled. it got cocked on terrain (would've been a 5) rolled again... a 1 (FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUU)

he deployed, of course he combat squadded everything and stuck all three of his cheesecannons in a far corner in some ruins (no line of sight cover for me)
Those ruins were in a spot that gave him sight of everything, coincidence? I think not

his other squads positioned them selves in front of the ruins and he placed pedro behind them.

I deployed my guys in a chaosy fashion. zerkers to the sides, 5guys with sorcerer in middle. rhino ready to rush in.

I Attemped to steal initiative, dice got cocked on a 6, rerolled, got a 5

so with the failed steal he gets to go first.

Loyalists turn 1:
He moves the two non-cannon squads forward, keeps everyone else still(I wonder why *cough*)

When shooting came around guess what pedro did? yep hes a chaptermaster, and guess what they get... orbital bombardment... great..
He drops it right ontop of my left zerkers. he rolls the scatter. direct hit. kills 5.
he drops 1 plascannon on my sorcerer group, and 2 on my other zerker group. kills 3 guys, and 2 zerkers. (all direct hits, seriously? you call this a friendly game?)

Heretics turn 1:

Rhino plows forward and wedges himself between two ruins to create a decent cover wall (stops 2 of those CheeseCannons Atleast) pops smoke (why not)

crippled zerker squad of 3 limps forward, squad of 6 trots more assuredly in-front of them sorcerer squad follows behind

when shooting came around I cracked a grin. LASH OF SUBMISSION! (My friend never played against one before so he got his first taste of its power) I dragged his sergeant squad right into charge range of all of my zerkers. They popped their pistols into them killed 1, molested them in assault phase without casualties.

both squads got to consolidate 6 inches due to lovely rolls and right into my new cover base.

sorcerer remained out in the open.

Outcome so far:
Loyalists: 1 KP
Heretics: 1 KP

Loyalist turn 2:
The last remaining melee squad moved towards the exposed sorcerer squad they opened fire with special rounds but missed them all.

the plasmacannons set their sites on the hiding zerkers (2 scattered, no wounds) and managed to kill 1 from special bolters (YAY COVER SAVES) Pedro let loose with his special gun. failed to get through my lovely cover saves

only 1 death that turn for me. My hopes rose a little.

Heretics turn 2:
The 5 zerker squad move forward 4 inches (damn difficult terrain from cover) the 3 squad shuffled behind them squeezing behind the tactical squad.

my rhino disgorged its load of 5 marines and champion and they moved around the ruins.

shooting phase came around and my sorcerer let loose another lash. dragging the squad into assault range of the 5 marines.

bolt pistols killed 1.

assault phase came and my 5 marines brought the squad down to 2, I made all my saves from the counter attack.

Outcome so far:
Loyalists: 1 KP
Heretics: 2 KP

Loyalists turn 3:

taking my zerker bait, he pushed pedro towards them to let loose his gun, failed to wound again (hur hur 3+ armor)

plascannons molested 1 of the 5 squad, murdered 1 of the 3 squad. special bolters finished off the 2 remaining.

resulting combat i finish him off. consolidated towards ruins.

Heretics turn 3:
I push the surviving zerkers forward desperated to get revenge on those damned cannons.
I moved my rhino up to tempt Pedro with a non kill-point (hehe dedicated transport rules)
moved my 5 marines into cover.

moved sorcerer group up and prepared another lash.

Lashed one of the plasmacannon groups right infront of the zerkers. they were demolished before they could even counter attack. thats one down.

consolidated towards the 2 remaining cannons
Outcome so far:
Loyalists: 1 KP
Heretics: 3 KP

Loyalists turn 4:

Pedro took the bait and moved towards the rhino

plasmacannons molested the 4 exposed zerkers. (doesn't matter who's blood it is. blood for the blood god) special bolters killed 1 of the 5 guys left (finally)
1 of them overheated and killed the shooter.

pedro molested rhino and made a nice crater to hide in. he made his save from the explosion. NO KP FOR HIM LOL

Heretics turn 4:
Now that he had a crater, he thought he would be safe from assualt. I moved my sorcerer past the ruins to get LoS onto pedro. and lashed him out of it into charge range of my 4 marines.

The champions power weapon made 1 wound (2 invul saves made) and he failed the other 2 from normal attacks woo. He didn't even get to use his power fist. (and so the chaos ensues)

consolidated back into the life-saving ruins.
Outcome so far:
Loyalists: 2 KP
Heretics: 4 KP

Loyalists turn 5:

With nothing but his two cheese cannon squads left. he fired one at the sorcerers squad, and 1 at the 4 hiding marines. he killed 1 of the 2 sorcerers helpers, passed my invuln on the sorcerer (woo) and killed 2 the hiding marines.

special bolters opened up on sorcerer, killed his last helper.

Heretics turn 5:
Now this turn was fun. I moved the marines up a lovely 6 inches from my difficult terrain test. and the lone sorcerer walked up 6 inches.

I rolled my lash and got a double one. My friend thinking it now failed cus of perils of the warp. I laughed, rolled my invuln (failed, down to 2 wounds left) and then i proceeded to roll for the inches they move. He stopped me and said "No you had perils of the warp, you CAN'T ahah" I sighed and picked up the nearby rule book and flipped to the psykers page and told him to read.
A moment later he sighed in disbelief and said "Ok, fine. I see how it is, ass" (what? ITS A RULE, Besides LOOK WHO'S TALKING)

With that I dragged one of the plasma squads right into the waiting mouths of 2 marines and sorcerer

they died horribly.
Outcome so far:
Loyalists: 4 KP (everything left is at half strength except the sorcerer now)
Heretics: 5 KP

the game would have ended there. but i rolled to continue. THE GAME GOES ON.

Loyalist turn 6:
they let loose with the last remaining plasmacannon on the sorcerer. scattered to hit the marines as well. made the sorcerers save AGAIN. down to the marines champion left.

Heretics turn 6:
My turn came around and I moved my guys up. sadly they weren't on the same floor, I could see the grin on my friends face but it turned to a face of horror when I rolled a 5, and a cocked 6, I rerolled. it was a 5 LASH TIEM.

I lashed his units down a floor, and then onto the ground. the resulting combat killed off my champion but he took 2 down with him. i rolled for my sorcerer and 4 hit. rolled to wound. all hit. the last 3 dead. made my saves on the sorcerer.

Outcome so far:
Loyalists: 4 KP
Heretics: 6 KP

GAME OVER. Annihilation. Chaos wins with 1 sorcerer still standing. (not below half strength)

I got 6 kill points for demolishing 4 combat squads and 1 5man squad, 1 killpoint for killing Pedro.

he got 4 killpoints for demolishing two zerker squads, 5 man squad and their rhino, and the 5 man squad that was with the sorcerer.
The sorcerer remained at 2/3 wounds. so his point remains intact.

He took off his hat, looked at his entire army in the graveyard, looked at the surviving sorcerer, he looked to me and said "Im confused, I was sure I would have demolished you by turn 3. I made this list JUST to wipe you out, It was as beardie and cheesy as it gets. I killed half your guys on turn one, HOW DID YOU WIN"

I put my men in their box, smiled and said "Why? It was luck for the most part. But if you ever try to pull that shit on me again, consider it the last game we will ever play" (we are the only two people who play W40k within 300Kilometers, so this is a bad thing.

I am amazed I beat him, it was shear luck in the dice I made it past turn 3, let alone beat him.

Do you think his list was just plain mean? please share your thoughts on the battle.

148 Posts
I think you did your KP wrong. You only get a KP for a completely destoryed unit. You were thinking of VP, which is you get how many VP the unit was worth, or if its below half strength at the end you get half the points it was worth as VP.

90 Posts
Discussion Starter · #3 ·
ah, well it didn't really matter. the only guy left was my sorcerer. and I demolished everything he had, even though his list was carefully designed to reduce me to ashes in a few turns

56 Posts
I dunno what proved itself cheesier, his custum tailored anti-csm list, or your Lash that proved him wrong. xD

But well played, good sir, for flicking his nose like that. Thought he could get away with being a douche, eh? ^^

90 Posts
Discussion Starter · #6 ·
very. I know people have their gripes about lash, but you gotta look at it. chaos daemons can bring up to 9 mini lashes A TURN (they don't even need an HQ to have it). Us Spiky Muhreens get a max of 2 lashes (HQ only).

But either way. The lash is a POWERFUL tactical tool when it comes to a very assault-orientated army, or even dragging men into little circles for Oblits to have some fun.

I did make one mistake. I didn't realize that MoS makes my sorcerer Initiative 6, There was that 1 fight where I wouldnt have lost any guys since the sorcerer gets to go first and having 5 attacks on a force weapon (thanks to familiar, I can lash and force weapon on the same turn, best 5 points ever spent). Oh well!

But yes Tzeen Qhayshek he's very much my friend, hes the whole reason I started chaos marines

Flashback tiem.
"So this is your gaming room eh? whats with all the ugly models, aren't these guys from Dawn of war? (they were painted horribly at the time)"
"yeah, dawn of war was based off this game, two armies duking it out with dice"
(My friend owns 3 armies. loyalists, tau, and Nidzilla(fucker brought 2 tervigon hq, and 3 as troop choices one game.. talk about being a douche)
"what other armies are there? your marines are cool but they are like christian fanatics with technology, and tau look like pansys"
By then he was smiling and said "well, theres evil armies too.."
*imagine a flash of dark eldar, necrons, chaos marines, orks, chaos through head*
you get it from there lol.

But my friend has 8 years of experience and he played at an A-Club with Top-50 players in canada in BC. He knows every nasty trick and exploit while I'm barely an infant into W40K.
But theres one army he's never fought (no one at the A-Club had them, daemons, but not csm) and he would push every thing at me and if I won it would only mean he gets to try out others.
But hes a friend, I hate him sometimes, but hes the only guy I have to play with.
This is why I get so proud when my spiky muhreens destroy his tau every game. but his tervigon spam remains undefeated (5 sets of 3d6 gaunts spawned everyturn... the board is filled within 3 turns, I CANT DO ANYTHING)
and marines.. well lets just say Ive wiped him out twice. and lost 5 times (we were allowed vehicles and he dropped two landraiders, both holding a chapter master... not to mention 5 plascannons hiding in the back. i was wiped out by turn 3.

Thats about it. But DAYUM you shoulda seen the face he had when I was lashing his men around, whine all you want about it, the lash is NOTHING compared to cheese.

941 Posts
Nice battle report!:biggrin: (mybe some pics, though) I like how you guys totally screwed force orginization, awsome!:biggrin:

90 Posts
Discussion Starter · #8 ·
force organization was meant to be broken, plus I don't have a camera atm.

616 Posts
pretty funny, especially since sternguard are elites, and pedro just makes them scoring elites. what a douche, I see the universe thought that too and aided your dice rolls.

10 sternguard-250
10 sternguard-250
5 sternguard-125

800 points already, now add about 10 points per plasma cannon, and 15 for the power weapon.

How pathetic is this guy? he plays someone with less experince than him and tries to cheat as well? Im glad warhammer is popular in hungary, i would hate to have to put up with someone like that

90 Posts
Discussion Starter · #11 ·
I thought dedicated transports only give 1kp, with their unit destroyed as well?


i got his list wrong

it was actually. pedro, 1 squad of 5 sterns 2 plasmacannons, and two squads of 10 tacticals, one with a sergent/pw, other with a plasmacannon
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