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looks good just one thing mind
seargeants and vet searges generally became Aspiring Champions or chosen (when they turned to chaos)
anyway the stuff looks good as you said its in the making so um so fair so good (other than seargeant thing)
 

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Daemon Prince Kerbelus The Angel Of Malice

235pts
Ws 7
Bs 5
S 6
T 5
W 4
I 5
A 6
Ld 10
Sv 2+/5+

Wargear: Wings, Rending Hands, Daemon Tail, 5+ invulnerable.

Unit Type: Monstrous Creature

Special rules:

5+ Invulnerable
Daemon Tail
Rending Hands
Hulking Form
Eternal warrior
Inspirational
Fearless

Rending hands: Kerbelus charges into battle wielding no Form of blade, His huge muscles are the Force behind his deadly hands. He tears apart armour with ease it is said that he can rip the very soul out of a mortal being. Both hands have the rending special rule and count as two close combat weapons (bonus shown in profile).

Daemon Tail: a long spike tail Kerbelus is able to move his tail to help him in close quarters it can also lash out devastating enemy units and friends alike. Kerbelus can sweep the tail Tail can be used as a shooting attack it has the following profile
Range 6" Str 8 Ap 4 D6 shots each shot must hit one model if you run out of models then the rest must be allocated upon friendly models. For close combat purposes it counts as an additional close combat weapon (bonus shown in profile).

Hulking Form: unlike most Daemon Princes Kerbelus has a muscular image his armour formers a very muscular chest and makes him able to withstand more than the armour worn by normal Daemon Princes. Hullking Form provides Kerbelus with a 2+ armour save.

Inspirational: The Angel Of Malice is a truly glorifying sight. Kerbelus is the symbolism of pure Power and Hatred, those who have seen him are truly fortunate. And those who fight alongside him are more so. He can make people fight at even the most Lost Cause. Any friendly within 6" Of Kerbelus is automatically fearless.
 

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Alex's characters 3+4 of 5

Nothing too fancy this time, namely i think because my well of inspiration is drying up. I'm wracking my brains hard for characters i can tie in or fit well within the ethos of the talons and how they would think and feel. Its slow work. But after this dark task i have two others ready (kinda) for posting. I'm happy with one but the other has left me wanting. Well here goes.


3. Taskmaster Gallo

Abandonment is something the Dark Talons remember well and can no longer forgive. Any who flee from battle, even when it is beneficial to, are looked upon with disgust and resentment for many years and it will take great lengths for any of these disgraced Talons to regain their brothers respect. There are some in the Dark Talons however who see the act of retreat as the greatest sign of mortal weakness any can display. These individuals have become the chapter taskmasters whose charge it is to ensure that none falter in battle. Gallo is the self appointed leader of this radical sect within the 4th company of the Dark Talons. They have taken it upon themselves to police their bothers in battle and ensure that no one shall flee. If their history of betrayal through retreat has not educated those around them against falling back, then the taskmaster will do so through force and pain.

130 pts

Name | WS | BS | S | T | W | I | A | Ld | Sv
Gallo | 5 | 4 | 4 | 4 | 2 | 4 (6) | 3 | 10 | 3+

Wargear. Power armour. Neural whip. Plasma pistol. Frag and Krak grenades. Melta bombs.

Special Rules. None Shall Fail Me. The Cost of Abandonment.

Neural whip. Used to slay foes and discipline weak comrades the neural whip is a stolen power weapon from ordo hereticus that raises Gallo’s initiative by 2 when charging and in close combat.

None Shall Fail Me. All soldiers under Gallo know what awaits them should they run. Any unit within 12” may re-roll leadership tests as if they carried and icon of chaos glory. They may still use this power should the unit carry a different icon but may only re-roll Ld once negating any extra icons of chaos glory.

The Cost of Abandonment. If a unit does attempt to flee within 12” of Gallo he will persuade them that they have chosen wrongly. The fleeing unit or character loses one wound with no armour saves possible as punishment is administered. After this the unit or character will hold ground and not retreat (if it is still alive that is).



Seeing others run and leave you to die, twice, is something the talons have had to experience and it almost destroyed them. I think it would be reasonable to have some of the warriors linking in their minds retreat with weakness, betrayal and abandonment. Thats what i wanted from Gallo and he's like that i guess though a freind pointed out he's basically a chaos commissar. I wanted a sort of linesman who'd be useful for forging a solid core rank of troops who probably arent goin anywhere.


4. Sorcerer Yeremos

All talons bare distaste and resentment for their abandonment. It is the hatred from the betrayals that has kept the talons alive and will spur them on to great victories in the future. To those warp touched among them however, this hatred has become something far more than just a driving force. Yeremos was the first to discover that the hatred of the brothers around him made his powers stronger. Eventually he mastered this vast well of emotions to form an attack all on its own. In the heat of battle he can unleash a warpcry forged from all the anger, hate and despair felt by his comrades that shocks any enemy to its core. It was this discovery that has raised Yeremos to the current level of captain advisor.

Pts 140

Name | WS | BS | S | T | W | I | A | Ld | Sv
Yeremos | 5 | 5 | 4 | 4 | 2 | 5 | 3 | 10 | 3+/5+

Wargear. Power armour, Force Weapon, Bolt pistol, Frag and Krak Grenades, Personal Icon.

Special Rules. Screams of Vengance, Dispise the Mortal, 5+ armour save.

Screams of Vengance. The anger shared by his brothers over the betrayals is a great power source in the warp that Yeremos can draw upon to unleash a wave of pure malevolence at the enemy. Screams of Vengance is a psychic power that is used in the shooting phase. After a successful roll to hit against the enemy unit they must take a leadership test at a -2 modifier or be pinned. Fearless units must still take the test but without the modifier.

Dispise the Mortal. Mortals are weak, the betrayals have taught the Dark talons that. If Yeremos can he will try to alleviate that unfortunate situation. Yeremos has Gift of Chaos psychic power.



Yeremos is good... but i think he's missing something. Any feedback would be good.

Well thats my two for now. I'll work on another before the deadline.
 

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Lets try again shall we... because I'm a bit of a fool i cant seem to find how to edit a post (help would be great:biggrin:) anyway this is cut and paste from my previous post except its finished and changed as per Gore Hunter's comments :)))
Aspiring Champion Garius, P: 75
WS:5 BS:4 S:4 T:5
I:6 W:3 Ld: 10 Sv: 2+

Equipment: power weapon, plasma pistol, Daemonic flight, Armour of the Betrayed.

Special rules:
Armour of the Betrayed: After the first betrayal the powers of Chaos easily infested the once proud Garius, warping and changing him and his wargear. Now he towers over his loyalist foes a mass of sinew and ever moving daemon armour. This confers +1 toughness and a 2+ armour save (included in profile above).
Insane: Garius has completely lost his sanity and in the middle of a battle he can suddenly launch into a killing frenzy in which no one near him is safe. Due to this he counts as having rending attacks but if he rolls a six to hit (i.e gets a rending hit) then a random player (chosen by a D6 roll) gets to choose who gets hit by the attacks.Uh any suggestions on this rule? Sniper
Feel no pain,
unable to join units,
Mark of Khorne (to represent his fighting style rather than any actual loyalty to the Blood god).

Garius was leading his squad of assault marines behind the enemy lines to destroy a vital supply post at the time of the first betrayal. After the promised air extraction didnt arrive and no answer was heard on the vox he made the difficult choice to lead his men in fighting their way back to friendly lines. After several days of fighting only he and his closest comrade Kardon were left but just as they sighted their own lines several platoons of Blood pact fell on them, in the resulting chaos Kardon was killed and Garius barely escaped alive but as he reached the relative safety of the Dark Hands headquarters the sight of the last thunderhawk leaving broke the last pitifull vestiges of his sanity, at this point he came to the dreadfull certainty that they had been betrayed and if not for his cowardly bretheren his brothers might still live. Now Garius is a nearly unstoppable force of destruction bringing death to anyone, friend or foe that gets in his way.

Any more advice would be great (this is my first CSM i have done fluff for :) )

Sniper
 

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Sorry for putting it in the wrong place, here is my entry
. The points cost is instead of the normal cost for an aspiring champion. I took the normal cost to upgrade to a champion with twin bolter, added 5 points for the extra bs, added 10 points per ability and got +45 pts. What do you think?

Karm Vestatus, Dark Talon master gunner.
Karm is a dedicated havoc, delighting equally when masses of infantry are cut down like wheat, and when armored vehicles die in a pyrotechnical display. Karm was once a dedicated veteran sergeant of the dark hands chapter, but when they turned o chaos, his love for causing destruction amongst his enemies was far stronger than any oaths of loyalty to some corpse on terra. During their time with the blood pact, Karm led his squad with the usual precision, until a long-las stole his left eye. He had a member of the dark mechanicus replace it with a device that would allow him to take his vengeance. Ever since, any squad he has lead has been the bane of any target that is foolish enough to enter their sights.


Havoc Champ Karm Vestatus +45 pts
Karm Vestatus can be added to a single havoc squad instead of the aspiring champion.
Karm Vestatus WS 4 BS 5 S 4 T 4 W 1 I 4 A 2 LD 10 SV 3+
Wargear: twin bolter, bolt pistol, ccw, The Eye of Destruction.
The eye of destruction: After losing his left eye to a sniper, Karm had his eye replaced with an arcane device known as The eye of destruction. The Eye is a set of augmetic eyes attached to an array of surveyors and an antenna array which allows communication to fleet resources in orbit.

The eye allows any havoc squad he leads to divide their fire between two different targets on a successful ld. test.
In addition, Karm may allow one member of his havoc squad to re-roll missed shots.
He may not use this ability to re-roll “gets hot” rolls, as the firing data he gives will not prevent the overload.

would like some feedback on any tweaks he needs, I am not set on the name, if someone thinks of better, go ahead. help on clarifying that he is an add-on to a havoc squad instead of the usual aspiring champ would be appreciated, especially with short and simple wording.a


edit changed ld to 10, contemplatin raising cost by +5 points th match.
 

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I think he is worthy of leadership 10. Defeinately making this model. I will get pics up as soon as i find the cable for the camera....
 

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Daemonkin Shredclaw

Daemonkin Shredclaw is a mystery to even the dark talons. He seems to be a robed daemonbird, epitomising the hatred of the dark talons, he reaps souls and forms them into strange bird-like Astartes.

Points/model WS BS S T W I A Ld Sv
250 7 2 4 3 3 7 5 9 4+Inv

Wargear: Two Talons (2 Rending ccws)

Special Rules: Spawn Daemonkin (Every time Shredclaw kills a model with T4 or greater he may spawn a creature with the profile of a chaos marine with an armour save of 5+ inv. If it is T3 or less he may give one model within 12" a 6+ inv.)

BAckgroubnd: Daemonkin shredclaw is not, in fact an astartes, he is a melding of a chaplain from the Dark talons and a DAemon of Tzeench who found the dark talons to be pleasing. he experiments, constantly trying to make others like himself. Thus he is followed everywhere by strange bird-daemons (think high level WAR zealots), which seem incoporeal until he can feed them the souls of dead enemies.

Edit: I have edited this when i found that it was one of the characters being voted for. sorry. i though i'd best update it to a better level of work.
 

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Aspiring Champion Kartherus The Icon Bearer

Pts 40
Ws 5
Bs 4
S 4
T 4
I 4
W 1
Ld 10
Sv 3+

Wargear: Power weapon, Bolt Pistol, meltabombs, Frag & Krak grenades, The Icon Of abomination.

The Icon of Abomination: Kartherus and his unit goes into the battle with a unique Icon which can never be fathomed as to its origin this Icon is not only an inspiration to the surrounding units but emits a strange energy also unknown to those around him this energy plays tricks on enemy minds forcing them to commit unusual acts like assaulting when knowing that it would be ill advised.
The unit that Kartherus is allocated to automatically becomes fearless and all models within 12" may reroll failed moral checks and pinning tests.
If a enemy unit is within assault range of Kartherus’ unit then they must take a leadership check (regardless of whether they are fearless or not) If they pass they act as normal. If they fail then Kartherus may choose which unit they charge (even if it moves them out of assault range of him).
 

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These are the rules for a radical Inquisitor gone too far. I've used this profile in a few house-games (he plays fair, not unstoppable but not a push-over.) He's a devotee of Slaanesh, most of his rules are taken from a few different characters. I don't know if it's what you're looking for but...

Inquisitor Ligarius: Defiler of Monastaries

Pts:160
WS BS S T W I A Ld Sv
5 6 4 4 3 8(9) 3 10 3+

Wargear: Master-crafted Inferno Pistol (Raange: 6" Strength: 8 AP:2 Pistol), Power Armour, Bolt pistol (Master-Crafted)

Special Rules

Awe-Inspiring: Such is the chaotic aura around his god-gifted body, that squads led by Ligarius are not always the most effective. As slaanesh whispers in their minds, they may be rendered useless. Any unit joined by Ligarius must roll a D6, on a roll of 1, they take no action that round, as Slaanesh perverts their minds for his pleasure.

Iron Will: In his own warped mind, the Inquisitor sees himself as sane, and his determination hasn't subsided. Ligarius may choose to pass any morale or pinning test he is required to make.

Live to Fight Another Day: Ligarius has no desire to end his long lasting life, he will readily retreat from opposing troops if need be. After Ligarius looses his last wound, make a morale check. On anything other than double 1's, Ligarius rises back to his feet and disappears, as minions of Slaanesh warp him off the field of battle, the better to plague mankind at a future date.

Gun-Slinger: Ligarius was one of the Inquisition's finest gunmen. He can shoot both pistols in one turn. He may rapid-fire with each pistol, for a total of 4 shots.

Mark of Slaanesh: As in Codex: Chaos Space Marines (Included in the profile above)
 

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Oops! I forgot there's a background blurb too. I'll see if I've got other special characters kicking around my gaming station.

Background:

Inquisitor Ligarius was once a noble servant of the Imperium, defending the will of the God-Emperor wherever he went. He was fanatical about destroying the taint of chaos in all shapes and forms. Eventually, he became a ‘radical Inquisitor’ who used pacts with bound Daemons to further his campaigns of war. Eventually, their continued presence wore at him, eroding his mind. The last daemon he tried to bargain with attempted to posses Ligarius. The possession failed, but shredded his mind. Like others in the past, his sanity was warped by Chaos, in this case, a Daemon of Slaanesh. Ligarius still considers himself on the side of justice, his fanatical drive urging him on. He seeks to punish those he deems heretical… which consists of any and all Imperial servants.
 
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