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Jac "Baneblade" O'Bite
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Another small update. This where it can be cut to remove the Malal stuff, just take on the orginal ending and away we go. I'll write the Malal stuff though just to give it a chance

The History Of The Dark Talons - Part 2.5

Written by Hephesto and Jacobite

(Original idea belongs to Heph so all credit to him)


So we began our service to our new master. Not because of duty, or training since birth, but of our own will and ambition for vengeance of those that had betrayed us.

I was joined by the other survivors of the dungeons and together we formed a new Chapter. The Dark Talons. The majority of us were former Dark Hands but there were others, others like the Space Wolf and second Iron Drake. We were lead by Tanthus and First Captain Retrave. Now you may be the Dark Hand of Death, Anadrius, sent by the Emperor to exact his will upon your enemies but I became a Dark Talon of the Gaur: sharp, swift, deadly. For over a decade I fought as a Lieutenant against the Val-Gaur’s rival’s both Imperial and Chaos, crushing his opponent’s skulls beneath armoured boot. We were his personal bodyguards and every victory we won replenished our ranks with more and more Astartes seeing the truth. Our numbers swelled to three hundred, then four and finally there were seven hundred of us. We grew rich, powerful… and over confident, we soon learnt the price of our loyalty.

‘As is your punishment traitor, your own arrogance and lust for power has dammed you!’ interrupted Anadrius, ‘so for crimes against the Emperor, for desertion and heresy I sentence you to death’

(This is the cut point, just add on the orginal ending here)

‘Oh shut up you pompass ass’ laughed the restrained man, ‘I haven’t finished yet, the story is only halfway told. Now if you would let me finish…’

His voice trailed off, waiting for the answer. Before giving the go ahead Anadrius quickly spoke into his radio. It seemed they still had time before the enemy broke through. Grudgingly he nodded. The fallen Astartes continued his voice now barely a whisper:


Malal will be up tomorrow or Saturday with luck
 

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Jac "Baneblade" O'Bite
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8,082 Posts
Yea I just powered on through and got the Malal but done tonight lol. Anyway here it is, it needs a bit of clearing up especially the end but the ideas are all there. Tell me what you think. The reason I have put this in another post is because it makes it easy to remove if we decide not to go with it, plus it makes it easier to read. Enjoy


The History Of The Dark Talons - Part Three

Written by Hephesto and Jacobite

(Original idea which this stems from belongs to Heph so all credit to him)




-THE SECOND BETRAYAL AND THE RENEGADE-


“For years we proved our strength to our master. You think the rivalry between the Astartes is intense, it is nothing compared to the competition we went through to gain the Gaur’s favour. We fought everybody, Blood Pact, Mutants, other Chaos Legions, the Imperium, whoever we could, we killed. We proved our strength through the fires of combat. Millions fell to our blades and our name became synomomous with fear. Soon the Val-Gaur began to make plans, plans that would make him the new Archon but the entire scheme rested on one planet. A planet he knew the Dark Talons would do anything to return to: Kabal III. He knew that this was where the Guar was, planning the next phase of the war. So we returned to the world that was our undoing. This time we swore it would be different.

But yet again the enemy knew we were coming. A minder high up in the command structure must have leaked Val-Gaurs true intentions to Urlock because we were greeted by wave upon wave of Blood Pact. We fought like men possessed, not one single blade or bullet even came near the Val Gaur…”

The traitor paused, his face darkening with rage

“If only his nerve was as strong as we were! Like you he fled when the battle began to look like we would lose. He left us to fight a rear guard action while he escaped into orbit. We were left to be butchered like cattle while he ran away with his tail between his legs. No doubt he expected us to tie up the Gaur’s forces long enough to regroup the few loyal to him and then strike again. Our blood was to pay for his escape. Our blood paid for nothing!. We set that world alight with our rage. We put every single man, woman and child on that planet to the sword, the sky was black with the smoke of burning cities and screams rent the air. You should have seen it Anadrius, it was beautiful, piles of bodies higher than mountains and all the while the rage coursing through our veins.

In the ruins of Hive Arganus Secundus we stood, the hour hundred that remained, the veterans of both betrayals. It was there we held a council. Every man had the right to speak. We didn’t know what to do, no master, no direction. Some said we should go to Urlock Gaur and pledge our blades to him, some were for hunting down Val-Gaur and making him pay. A few wanted to join the Red Corsairs. We all knew however that we couldn’t ever trust another mortal again. Not after all the back stabbing. It was then that a figure appeared from out of the smoke.

He was dressed in black and *********** armour with his head covered. We all watched as the man strode into the circle. First Captain Retrave walked over to the figure, challenging him. For a moment the strange marine just looked at the Captain. Then the figure spoke:

“You need not fear me for in your hatred you are not alone.”

Those words have never left me. The man then removed his hood to reveal a pale face with jet black hair. It was obvious that the man was of Night Lords stock but not even the Night Haunter himself had been as deathly white as the Marine who stood before us.

“My name is Kilm Vanshal, voice of Malal. His has seen your pain, your suffering and your abandonment. He ,like you and like me, has been spurned by the other Gods and betrayed by his fellows. And he, like you, wants vengeance !”

Tanthus then stepped forward and spoke: “Tell us what your god wants Night Lord!”

Before Vanshal could answer a second figure appeared beside him. There was no flash of light or clap of thunder, it was as simple as one minute there was only dust and the next there was a second person there.

Dressed in simple black robes the figure towered over everybody else. With a face that was a mix of wolf and crocodile and three eyes it was clear that this was no man, nor had ever been. Opening a mouth full of teeth it spoke with a voice that chilled every one of us to the bone.

“He is no Night Lord Tanthus. The time he spent with those animals is over. He serves a higher purpose than simple terror now. As will you…”

Malal, the Fifth God of Chaos. The Outcast, the Renegade, the Lost. He was the only one we could trust not to betray us for he knew our pain. He had experienced it himself. Cast out by the other gods eons ago he now demanded retribution and destruction on all things. We saw a god who knew our pain and in us he saw followers whose hatred for both Chaos and the Imperium was unshakable.

In the ruins of Kabal III we pledged our immortal souls, for the third time and final time, to a new master: Malal, God of destruction.

Since then we have grown more powerful. We are stronger now than you, stronger than the followers of the Four. There is nothing you can do to stop us, no way to predict where we will strike next and although you may kill me there is…"

Before he could finish his sentence a great explosion shook the bunker, the Blood Pact had returned to complete their task. Turning towards the traitor Anadrius spoke,

‘Looks like justice will be swift for you after all......brother’

And with that he grabbed the bolt pistol off the table, before shooting the heretic point blank. Turning towards the one of the other marines he shouted a final order before grabbing his helmet and stepping back outside, into the mud, into the firestorm;

‘We’ll buy you time, now get this information sent out, this new threat could be the undoing of us all.....’

_____________________________________________________________

So yea thats it. That last bit needs a bit of work but I'm too tired now. I will get the Index Astartes written up over the weekend - I'll probably take a break tomorrow if thats ok with everybody.

Please tell me what you think. I'd love to be able to use it but if its not in the majority then bin it. I can always use it for something else.

Hope this hasn't perverted your idea too much Heph :wink:
 

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Porn King!!!
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8,137 Posts
Gotta say, I am loving it.
 

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Registered
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2,688 Posts
Fuckin hell, I'll haveto read all this beautiful crap (in a good way! :D ) later.

Great job guys!

(Man, our forum is the best--the people that is.)
 

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Links Manager
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1,007 Posts
Looking mighty fine, just remembered I 'executed' the traitor with a laspistol.....how un-space mariny of me :wink:

Some nice ideas there, also very useable for conversions. A Kilm Vanshal, voice of Malal lord would be very interesting. Now to get that colourscheme sorted out :D

And no worries about 'perverting my ideas', they already were perverted. This actually works out very nicely, they end up a force without a master directly from the more common 40K fluff. Making it more original and leaving loads of room to add concepts, ideas and units. Happy my stuff helped out here, seemed like a good idea to me to do the introduction as a short piece of fiction. Looks like I was right....such humility :wink:
 

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Jac "Baneblade" O'Bite
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8,082 Posts
Dude your stuff fitted in perfectly with the idea that I had and was the prefect spring board for it.

I thought it might be good to have Malal speak through a mortal rather than having him talking in their heads. (Plus it got a certain Chapter involved :wink:) I really want to make up a set of rules for him.

When Anph and Wraith read it and if they like it I'll repost it in one full thread and put a poll to see if people like it. If they do then we can 'hopefully' make it offical and begin work on other parts of the army.

As for the color scheme it will be very easy to intigrate Malal into it, just need to make one arm Black and White. Won't detract from the overall scheme to much and will really unite the force together.

I'm all excited now :D :lol:
 

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Jac "Baneblade" O'Bite
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8,082 Posts
Yea it is. I say tentativly, waiting for everybody to rip it to shreds.

What do you think? Does Malal work?
 
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