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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
I've done it again Primarch number 2 comin up. Special thanks to Ordog and Zboy for your help.

Corax Primarch Of the Raven Guard

The Raven Guard took part in the doomed assault on Istvaan V, the location of Horus's headquarters after he turned to Chaos. The Raven Guard, together with the Iron Hands and Salamanders, were decimated when the four Legions supporting the attack turned traitor, nearly destroying the Loyalists in the process. Corax returned to Deliverance with orders to rebuild his Legion as quickly as possible. Forced to sit back and watch as the Imperium teetered on the brink of collapse, Corax turned to tomes of ancient knowledge detailing the risky process of gene-seed zygote acceleration. Despite warnings of the terrible creatures that might be created, Corax ordered the Apothecaries of the Legion to begin the process. There are no records of the first results of the process, but rumours stated that the monstrosities created using these techniques were herded into battle by their brethren; barely one in ten able to even hold a bolter, let alone use it. Amongst these, there might have been one in a hundred with a stable enough genome to become an actual Space Marine. As the Horus Heresy built into a full galactic civil war, Corax and his Marines were slowly able to rebuild their Legion, playing what parts they could in the greater war. The Raven Guard's talent for small, covert operations behind enemy lines were able to partially offset their lack of resources and manpower, but it wasn't until nearly a century after the Heresy that the Legion was able to fight in meaningful numbers. Corax had rebuilt his Legion, but at a great cost. The dungeons below the Raven Guard's fortress monastery echoed with the howls of the deformed monsters created by his order. The Primarch agonised over what should be done with the bloodthirsty monsters. After much agonising, he finally decided that he should administer the Emperor's Peace to every single one of them, personally. He did so, praying for both their souls along with his. When Roboute Guilliman drafted the Codex Astartes, it was met by much resistance from many of the Space Marine Legions, but Corax was in support, allowing for the creation of the Black Guard, Revilers, and Raptors Chapters during the Second Founding. Following this, Corax is said to have locked himself away, praying for forgiveness from the Emperor for his transgressions. A year after he had locked himself away, Corax emerged, haggard and wild-eyed. He commandeered a shuttle and left Deliverance for the Eye of Terror, leaving only a single word as his valediction, "Nevermore...".

Corax
Pts 675
Ws 8
Bs 6
S 8
T 6
W 5
I 8
A 10+1
Ld 10
Sv 2+/3+

Wargear: Corax has the Ravens Jump Pack and wields the Ravens claws

Ravens Claws: the Ravens Claws are deadly Lightning claws gifted to Corax by the Emperor they amplified his speed and strength and bring death in a whirr of plasma and steel. The Ravens Claws have integral master crafted plasma pistols and can re roll any failed to hit and wound rolls. They add +2 Strength and initiative.

Experimental Jump Pack: Corax was an Experimental Primarch and was always interested in trying to get around the battlefield quicker. To represent this Corax wears an experimental Jump pack. Corax can move up to18" but he must roll a D6 on a 1 the Jump Pack plays up and for the rest of the battle Corax only moves 6+ D6.

Deadly Speed: Corax moves like Lightning and is extremely difficult to hit in combat.
As a result he receives a 3+ invulnerable save to show his speed and ability to dodge his opponents.

Raven Guard Commander: Corax relies on his force to be able to reach the enemy with extreme speed. To represent this he may not use terminators in his force but he may take Bikers as a troops choice and also all marines may take jump packs for free. All marines can deep strike no matter what the mission.

"Neopyte Jericho" came the clam, stentorian voice of the chaplain Cort, sliced through the silent prayer of the neophyte Raven Guard marines, "would you recount the story of our primarch for you brother neophytes"

"Of course, brother-Chaplain" replied the quiet neophyte and he began with a deep sighing breath "The story started when the twenty gene-sons of the Emperor were scattered throughout the universe, and the birth-pod of Corax landed on the moon Lycaeus, on which the slaves of the tyrannical Tech-Guilds ,on the planet below, toiled away under the watchful eyes of the Tech-Guild's brutal jailers"

"After the pod containing the infant primarch landed it was discovered by slaves who took in the white skinned infant with midnight black hair and eyes as empty as space, hiding him from their jailers and raising him as one of their own."

"Within the space of a few years, the infant Corax had matured, and was educated by the various exiles and prisoners of Kiavahr, an education in everything from urban warfare and demolitions to the qualities of a leader."

"Constantly watched and admired, as he learned believed by the people of Lycaeus as saviour, Corax began to sow the seeds that would bring about his adopted peoples' freedom. He began by showing the slaves how to manufacture weapons from their limited resources, and had them hidden in caches at key points within the mine works. He then began to organize and train members of the slave population, promoting the best to squad leaders, drilling them thoroughly in their place within his plan. He also began a campaign of psychological warfare on the jailors, organising strikes and riots that stretched the guards' resources and morale to the breaking point."

"When the time came, Corax and the slaves struck. Mining machines were diverted to run wild through the streets and key security points. Sabotage teams ceased the flow of power, communications and life support to the enemy's strong points. Corax and the elite of his trainees assaulted the main bastion of the jailors, capturing it during the course of a single night's fighting." Jericho continued with rising confidence and volume

"The ruling Tech-Guilds of Kiavahr were shocked at the fall of their mining works on the moon, immediately dispatching troops in an attempt to recapture it. The war was short and brutal. Corax's troops took advantage of Lycaeus' position at the top of Kiavahr's long gravity well, bombarding the planet with atomic weapons. And when the Tech-Guilds troops landed the primarch and his army destroyed them." the young marine continued with intense pride writ across his face.

"In the end, Corax was victorious. The Tech-Guilds fell to pieces, and the planet descended into anarchy as factions of the Tech-Guilds fought each other for the planet's meagre resources. The celebrations on the moon of Lycaeus went on, during which the now former slaves renamed their home Deliverance. On which we stand now, and that is the story of our father, who freed the people of Deliverance and was found by the Emperor and took command of his legion, but after the Horus Heresy, while rebuilding his beloved legion Corax tried to accelerate the gene-seed process, resulting in mutated monsters, which with a heavy heart and guilty conscience, Corax administered the Emperor's Peace to all of his deformed sons,personally."

" And after his guilt became unbearable, Corax locked himself away for a year praying for the Emperor's guidence and forgivness, after Corax emerged, haggard and wild-eyed. He commandeered a shuttle and left Deliverance for the Eye of Terror"
the neophyte ended with a crestfallen sadness.
"and he left only a single word as his valediction, "Nevermore...".


Special Rules made by me and Ordog
and the story made by zboy
stats made by me
Thanks for your help guys.
 

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the biggest nit pick i have about him is his stats. he seems a wee bit too powerful to me. a bloodthirster has a WS of 9 and corax wasnt really known for being a spectacular swordsman so having WS 9 as well is kinda pushin it. even though corax is a primarch WS 9, ST 8, I 8, and having 11 attacks means that he would destroy any and all bloodthirsters effortlessly. heck, he even has a decent chance of taking out warlord battle titan by himself and those things cost 2500 points. id drop the WS by 1 or 2, drop the attack to 6 or so, drop the ST to 5 or 6, and drop his I by 1 or 2 as well. even though this would make him much weaker than presented here, it would make it a fair model and give enemies some kind of chance to kill him in cc. with how his stats are now he is guaranteed to kill anything and everything within arms reach and survive. if it seems like im bashing your model, im sorry. im not meaning to. just trying to think in the shoes of those who would have to face this model.
 

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I can agree with the WS 9 Being high, but at the same time, the primarch's were the ultimate warriors created in the Emperor's image. The only rule I think you might have a problem with is the

"Deadly Speed Corax moves like Lightning and is extremely difficult to hit in combat. As a result he may only be hit on 4+ in combat regardless of weapon skill.""

Does that mean a WS 4 can hit him on 4+? Or does it mean that even with modifiers he can only be hit on 4+? I see this bringing a lot of confusion and you might want to reword it to say that Corax is always hit on **** or whatever amount you want. With a WS9 most units will need 5+ anyways to hit him and only the Bloodthirster will hit him on 4+ (excluding modifiers).

Also, is the s8 in his profile reflecting items or is that his base strength? Just a few questions people who look at this might have.

extra....I would also drop the Attacks as mentioned above, to reflect his lightening reflexes give him like a +3 invuln save, because he will cause destruction as is.

Goodluck and goodwork!

Alias
 

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the comparison with the bloodthirster is valid. Sanguinius almost died fighting one, revise the stats.
 

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another reason i think the WS needs to be dropped a little is because it leaves little flexibility for creating other primarchs. Horus trained all the primarchs (cept Konrad) in combat and the only ones to have ever beaten him were Leman Russ and Sanguinius, meaning Corax wasnt able to beat him and unlikely to beat Leman or Sanguinius. What would this mean Horus, Leman, and Sanguinius' WS being? (if you ever decide to try and make them).
 

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As a note when it comes to Sanguinius....They say he was never defeated in combat. I know the first time he fought the Bloodthirster who broke his legs he was defeated, but I believe that was the only time he was defeated. Even in the combat vs Horus, it mentions Sanguinius striking Horus numerous times but never able to pierce his armor till his final attack. So you might want to use Sanguinius WS as a base, and use it to decide the other Primarch's depending on their specific skills. Just an idea

Good Job So Far Though!

Alias
 

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Discussion Starter #11 (Edited)
K so here are the Tweaks then guys

Corax Primarch Of the Raven Guard

The Raven Guard took part in the doomed assault on Istvaan V, the location of Horus's headquarters after he turned to Chaos. The Raven Guard, together with the Iron Hands and Salamanders, were decimated when the four Legions supporting the attack turned traitor, nearly destroying the Loyalists in the process. Corax returned to Deliverance with orders to rebuild his Legion as quickly as possible. Forced to sit back and watch as the Imperium teetered on the brink of collapse, Corax turned to tomes of ancient knowledge detailing the risky process of gene-seed zygote acceleration. Despite warnings of the terrible creatures that might be created, Corax ordered the Apothecaries of the Legion to begin the process. There are no records of the first results of the process, but rumours stated that the monstrosities created using these techniques were herded into battle by their brethren; barely one in ten able to even hold a bolter, let alone use it. Amongst these, there might have been one in a hundred with a stable enough genome to become an actual Space Marine. As the Horus Heresy built into a full galactic civil war, Corax and his Marines were slowly able to rebuild their Legion, playing what parts they could in the greater war. The Raven Guard's talent for small, covert operations behind enemy lines were able to partially offset their lack of resources and manpower, but it wasn't until nearly a century after the Heresy that the Legion was able to fight in meaningful numbers. Corax had rebuilt his Legion, but at a great cost. The dungeons below the Raven Guard's fortress monastery echoed with the howls of the deformed monsters created by his order. The Primarch agonised over what should be done with the bloodthirsty monsters. After much agonising, he finally decided that he should administer the Emperor's Peace to every single one of them, personally. He did so, praying for both their souls along with his. When Roboute Guilliman drafted the Codex Astartes, it was met by much resistance from many of the Space Marine Legions, but Corax was in support, allowing for the creation of the Black Guard, Revilers, and Raptors Chapters during the Second Founding. Following this, Corax is said to have locked himself away, praying for forgiveness from the Emperor for his transgressions. A year after he had locked himself away, Corax emerged, haggard and wild-eyed. He commandeered a shuttle and left Deliverance for the Eye of Terror, leaving only a single word as his valediction, "Nevermore...".

Corax
Pts 675
Ws 7
Bs 6
S 5
T 6
W 6
I 7
A 6+1
Ld 10
Sv 2+/4+

Wargear: Corax has the Ravens Jump Pack and wields the Storm Talons


Master Of stealth: Corax is a master of stealth he has trained his forces to use cover to his advantage and use the battle field to his advantage. All battles against Corax count as Night fight and all units in his army recieve +2 towards their cover saves.

Storm Talons: The Storm Talons are deadly Lightning claws gifted to Corax by the Emperor they amplified his speed and strength and bring death in a whirr of plasma and steel. The Storm Talons have integral master crafted plasma pistols and can re roll any failed to hit and wound rolls.

Experimental Jump Pack: Corax was an Experimental Primarch and was always interested in trying to get around the battlefield quicker. To represent this Corax wears an experimental Jump pack. Corax can move up to18" but he must roll a D6 on a 1 the Jump Pack plays up and for the rest of the battle Corax only moves 6+ D6.

Deadly Speed: Corax moves like Lightning and is extremely difficult to Shoot It is hard to pick him as a Target. When enemies shoot at Corax they are at -1 BS skill.

Raven Guard Commander Corax relies on his force to be able to reach the enemy with extreme speed. To represent this he may not use terminators in his force but he may take Bikers as a troops choice and also all marines may take jump packs for free. All marines can Infiltrate no matter what the mission.

"Neopyte Jericho" came the clam, stentorian voice of the chaplain Cort, sliced through the silent prayer of the neophyte Raven Guard marines, "would you recount the story of our primarch for you brother neophytes"

"Of course, brother-Chaplain" replied the quiet neophyte and he began with a deep sighing breath "The story started when the twenty gene-sons of the Emperor were scattered throughout the universe, and the birth-pod of Corax landed on the moon Lycaeus, on which the slaves of the tyrannical Tech-Guilds ,on the planet below, toiled away under the watchful eyes of the Tech-Guild's brutal jailers"

"After the pod containing the infant primarch landed it was discovered by slaves who took in the white skinned infant with midnight black hair and eyes as empty as space, hiding him from their jailers and raising him as one of their own."

"Within the space of a few years, the infant Corax had matured, and was educated by the various exiles and prisoners of Kiavahr, an education in everything from urban warfare and demolitions to the qualities of a leader."

"Constantly watched and admired, as he learned believed by the people of Lycaeus as saviour, Corax began to sow the seeds that would bring about his adopted peoples' freedom. He began by showing the slaves how to manufacture weapons from their limited resources, and had them hidden in caches at key points within the mine works. He then began to organize and train members of the slave population, promoting the best to squad leaders, drilling them thoroughly in their place within his plan. He also began a campaign of psychological warfare on the jailors, organising strikes and riots that stretched the guards' resources and morale to the breaking point."

"When the time came, Corax and the slaves struck. Mining machines were diverted to run wild through the streets and key security points. Sabotage teams ceased the flow of power, communications and life support to the enemy's strong points. Corax and the elite of his trainees assaulted the main bastion of the jailors, capturing it during the course of a single night's fighting." Jericho continued with rising confidence and volume

"The ruling Tech-Guilds of Kiavahr were shocked at the fall of their mining works on the moon, immediately dispatching troops in an attempt to recapture it. The war was short and brutal. Corax's troops took advantage of Lycaeus' position at the top of Kiavahr's long gravity well, bombarding the planet with atomic weapons. And when the Tech-Guilds troops landed the primarch and his army destroyed them." the young marine continued with intense pride writ across his face.

"In the end, Corax was victorious. The Tech-Guilds fell to pieces, and the planet descended into anarchy as factions of the Tech-Guilds fought each other for the planet's meagre resources. The celebrations on the moon of Lycaeus went on, during which the now former slaves renamed their home Deliverance. On which we stand now, and that is the story of our father, who freed the people of Deliverance and was found by the Emperor and took command of his legion, but after the Horus Heresy, while rebuilding his beloved legion Corax tried to accelerate the gene-seed process, resulting in mutated monsters, which with a heavy heart and guilty conscience, Corax administered the Emperor's Peace to all of his deformed sons,personally."

" And after his guilt became unbearable, Corax locked himself away for a year praying for the Emperor's guidence and forgivness, after Corax emerged, haggard and wild-eyed. He commandeered a shuttle and left Deliverance for the Eye of Terror"
the neophyte ended with a crestfallen sadness.
"and he left only a single word as his valediction, "Nevermore...".
 

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In all fairness He's a bit too good. he was one of the more basic primarchs compared to russ and sanguinius so his stats shouldn't be that high. also as his legion specialised in stealth tactics he should have rules to show that, not just being a close combat monster. Also the raven's talons are the same weapons shrike uses so they shouldn't have the plasma pistols and boosters that's listed. they should be the codex weapons.
 

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Discussion Starter #13
K so I've changed some rules there and some names (Corax never wielded The Ravens Talons hence the name Ravens Claws but I can see how that could be confusing so I gave them a different name altogether I changed and tweaked a few other rules too mind.
 

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I'm lovin em seeing as Corax does'nt have much fluff lying around you've done well.
 

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another reason i think the WS needs to be dropped a little is because it leaves little flexibility for creating other primarchs. Horus trained all the primarchs (cept Konrad) in combat and the only ones to have ever beaten him were Leman Russ and Sanguinius, meaning Corax wasnt able to beat him and unlikely to beat Leman or Sanguinius. What would this mean Horus, Leman, and Sanguinius' WS being? (if you ever decide to try and make them).
Angron beat Horus too but he couldn't beat Leman or Sanguinius. And I agree with a change to stat line WS, S, I and A are all to high. I would try

WS 7
S 5
I 6
A 6

That's before you give him bonuses for the Raven Claw.

And the Inv save should be no higher than 4+ but maybe add an extra attack once per battle or something like that.

Hope this helps
 

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I agree with godofwar. He may be a primarch but compared to other primarchs he wasn't anything special so if you have him very high the better primarchs would be unstoppable. Again as his legion specialised in stealth tactics he should have rules to represent that. The no terminator rule doesn't really do it....

Still thats just my opnion. Still a pretty good job:biggrin:
 

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Discussion Starter #17
some more changes there for you I still think he should have a high Initiative mind he always struck me as quite agile but I have taken to account all the other suggestions.
 

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Discussion Starter #18 (Edited)
Corax Primarch Of the Raven Guard

The Raven Guard took part in the doomed assault on Istvaan V, the location of Horus's headquarters after he turned to Chaos. The Raven Guard, together with the Iron Hands and Salamanders, were decimated when the four Legions supporting the attack turned traitor, nearly destroying the Loyalists in the process. Corax returned to Deliverance with orders to rebuild his Legion as quickly as possible. Forced to sit back and watch as the Imperium teetered on the brink of collapse, Corax turned to tomes of ancient knowledge detailing the risky process of gene-seed zygote acceleration. Despite warnings of the terrible creatures that might be created, Corax ordered the Apothecaries of the Legion to begin the process. There are no records of the first results of the process, but rumours stated that the monstrosities created using these techniques were herded into battle by their brethren; barely one in ten able to even hold a bolter, let alone use it. Amongst these, there might have been one in a hundred with a stable enough genome to become an actual Space Marine. As the Horus Heresy built into a full galactic civil war, Corax and his Marines were slowly able to rebuild their Legion, playing what parts they could in the greater war. The Raven Guard's talent for small, covert operations behind enemy lines were able to partially offset their lack of resources and manpower, but it wasn't until nearly a century after the Heresy that the Legion was able to fight in meaningful numbers. Corax had rebuilt his Legion, but at a great cost. The dungeons below the Raven Guard's fortress monastery echoed with the howls of the deformed monsters created by his order. The Primarch agonised over what should be done with the bloodthirsty monsters. After much agonising, he finally decided that he should administer the Emperor's Peace to every single one of them, personally. He did so, praying for both their souls along with his. When Roboute Guilliman drafted the Codex Astartes, it was met by much resistance from many of the Space Marine Legions, but Corax was in support, allowing for the creation of the Black Guard, Revilers, and Raptors Chapters during the Second Founding. Following this, Corax is said to have locked himself away, praying for forgiveness from the Emperor for his transgressions. A year after he had locked himself away, Corax emerged, haggard and wild-eyed. He commandeered a shuttle and left Deliverance for the Eye of Terror, leaving only a single word as his valediction, "Nevermore...".

Corax
Pts 675
Ws 8
Bs 6
S 7
T 6
W 6
I 8
A 7+1
Ld 10
Sv 2+/4+

Wargear: Corax has the Ravens Jump Pack and wields the Storm Talons

Storm Talons: The Storm Talons are deadly Lightning claws gifted to Corax by the Emperor they amplified his speed and strength and bring death in a whirr of plasma and steel. The Storm Talons have integral master crafted plasma pistols and can re roll any failed to hit and wound rolls. They add +2 initiative (shown above).

Experimental Jump Pack: Corax was an Experimental Primarch and was always interested in trying to get around the battlefield quicker. To represent this Corax wears an experimental Jump pack. Corax can move up to18" but he must roll a D6 on a 1 the Jump Pack plays up and for the rest of the battle Corax only moves 6+ D6.


Deadly Speed: Corax moves like Lightning and is extremely difficult to Shoot It is hard to pick him as a Target. When enemies shoot at Corax they are at -1 BS skill.

Raven Guard Commander: Corax relies on his force to be able to reach the enemy with extreme speed. To represent this he may not use terminators in his force but he may take Bikers as a troops choice and also all marines may take jump packs for free. All marines can Infiltrate no matter what the mission.
 

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Corax
Pts 675
Ws 7
Bs 6
S 5
T 6
W 6
I 7
A 6+1
Ld 10
Sv 2+/4+

Wargear: Corax has the Ravens Jump Pack and wields the Storm Talons


Master Of stealth: Corax is a master of stealth he has trained his forces to use cover to his advantage and use the battle field to his advantage. All battles against Corax count as Night fight and all units in his army recieve +2 towards their cover saves....".
I like these rules and stats alot more... It seems to suit corax well.... good job:grin::victory:
 
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