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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I have recently been working on a background for a new blood angels sub-chapter... anyways without further adue:

Blood Brothers

The day grew dimmer as the last of the suns set. This was no longer Baal like they remember so well. In face they had no recollection as to what system they were on now.

"Sir?" A voice came from behind him.

Captain Sultern slowly turned to face the man behind him.

"What are your orders?" the young scout said as he came to attention.

"Have we recieved word about our lost?"

"No brother, I do not believe that our lost have yet to be recovered," said a voice calmly from beside him. It was Sacarius, the Captain's battle-brother since they first became the legendary Angels of Death they are now.

"We shall honor them as we shall any other brother of ours. The rage may make us unstable but we are still brothers in arms against all enemies," the captain let out.

Out of the dying day came a sudden shrill. Every brother turned towards the captain. From behind him came a form of an evil they have been fighting since they arrived on this desolate planet. A form in the shape of something of a large spider. The Tyranids. There was no victory for the brothers, they continue to fight but their numbers dwindle everyday that they stay.

The captain rolled to once side as a large pincer came down upon him, the blade stabing into the young scout. He let out a scream but he was not going to just surrender to this beast. He pulled out his combat knife and stabbed the blade deep into the leg-like structure. The pincer jerked violently away, as green ooze poured out of it, and scout pulled along with it.

"We must save our brother!" yelled the captain, "he is one of us and is therefore more important than our own lives."

They turned towards the masses of alien scum pouring out of holes a good distance away but by the way they came it almost seemed as though the ground was moving. The scout's crimson armor was slowly being dragged into the center of them.

"Today we reclaim all of our lost men or we will die trying," said the captain to his thirty or so marines around him. "That is the oath we have swarn. No Blood Brother is to be left behind or forgetten. We are all but one body, one kin, one soul in the Emperor's Will. We are the Angels of Death!"

They all turned and charged the hundreds of aliens coming upon them. There may have been no victory that day, but deep within the warp some say, there was a smile as the Emperor watched these men gladly give their lives for one of their own. But that is just how the story goes. The story of the Blood Brothers.


I hope you guys liked it and it is just a brief overview. I don't want to get into much more detail until I get some suggestions and approvals from others. Thanks and happy reading. :thank_you:
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Thanks for the feedback... and I'm sorry about placing this in the wrong place. I'll start working on a more thorough background... Thanks
 

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not bad, but just a lil' tip, details are everything in writing
example; thirty or so marines... that's not right, you've got to be very specific (know what I mean?)

keep 'em coming
 
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