[Ambush Beast]

Hi

Wow, it looks like my work when I first joined. :laugh: Mine was not presented well back then and people were crying tears of blood trying to get through it all. By the time they had finished reading my work they wanted to :suicide: themselves. So from a guy who had to learn my lessons I say...

PLEASE! :shokaragraph your work into four or five or ten lined breaks so we can get through it without going cross-eyed. When that is done I will be more then happy to come back, find this story and take the time to enjoy it. Until then, - Adrian

 

[Ambush Beast]

Hi

Well as promised I made my way back here and was very happy to see that you broke the story up. The fact that you are taking in what we are telling you says a lot about the kind of person you are.

The story itself, as in the idea of it was really cool. I can see a lot of potential and am impressed with how you presented it. I could see in my mind how the flow of the battle was taking place and where it was headed.

Good job. The story did seem choppy and like one idea slammed into another as if you were going a thousand miles an hour when you wrote it. I encourage you to slow down, maybe read it out loud or have a friend read it with you.

Reading your works out loud does help in the editing process, it helps with the flow of your stories. You have a whole lot of talent just waiting to explode and bloom. I can't wait to see what kind of writer you will be in a year.

 

[Ambush Beast]

Hi

Most of my stories have much more action than conversation. Building character personae is sometimes a very long and drawn out thing to do. If you are taking the time to sit down and write then take the time to bring forth your best effort, even in a story that is only a thousand words or less.

When you write you are bringing forth a piece of yourself and presenting it to everyone within eye-shot. Imagination is one of the greatest things that God has given us so take your time with the stories you write. Love the work you are putting forth. Enjoy the victories of your hero and hate the villain.

Make your work your own and don't worry about what other people think. If you love your craft your work will show it. Your works will only get better and better.

As far as a story being too long, "Ants of Therra" - (Plug), so far has over 25,000 words in it and it is not even half way done! Serpion 5, Boc, Mossy Toes and Shogun_Nate, Tree Sniffer, World Killer and Commissar Ploss all have very long stories too.

It is not about the length, but the quality that keeps a person reading. Never quit and welcome to Heresy Online.