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ok im gonna share the bit of fluff i been working on for my chaos army. i also posted it in the vision of heresy thead to si if they might want to use it. let me know what you guiys think.

The Truth Bearers

as lorgar of the word bearers was first discovering the gods of the warp before the whole chapter had fallen to the taint of the chaos gods. there where many loyal warriors who where staunch believers in spreading the imperial truth threw the great crusade. Lorgar sated their desire by offering up mere crewmen and members of the Imperial Guard at first. Easily replaceable, they're loss aroused little suspicion. Soon, the corrupt powers demanded more, calling for the blood of Astartes.
In his ambition, Lorgar succumbed to their demands. As Lorgar fed them to the gods, brother by brother, suspicions grew of his secret experiments. While the loyal members of the chapter questioned Lorgar's activities, there were those that joined him in his depravity. Thus Lorgar and his tainted brethren gathered the names of the Brothers who would never turn from the Emperor's undying light. Their list encompassed a mere third of the chapter.

Still keeping his foul activities a secret, Lorgar and his dark brethren laid a careful trap. After a hard fought invasion of a hostile world, Lorgar and his traitorous brothers put their plan into motion, the mass sacrifice that the gods where demanding.

Lorgar summoned all the loyalist Astartes to his audience and briefed them on an emegency mission to be embarked upon immediately. In his duplicity, Lorgar had falsified a distress call from another expedition fleet that needed dire reinforcements immediately.

The traitors had rigged all the ships that the loyalists would travel in so that all the navigational systems would self-destruct shortly after entering the warp, leaving them pray to the whims of chaos.

The plan worked perfectly. The faithful boarded their vessels and disembarked on their mission. Once they entered the warp all communication was lost. Lorgar was pleased and proceeded to delve deeper into the depthes of chaos!


ok now we fast forward to a few thousand years after the horus heresy when a small fleet emerges from the warp battered and beaten after ages lost in the warp. they have fought to survive for centuries hoping to make it back to warn the imperium of there betrayal at the hands of the word bearers. the only driving force that kept them alive was their unwavering devotion to the imperial truth. in the centuries lost afloat in the warp they had come across many worlds that worshipped false gods that they came to belive, due to direct contact where massive xeno intelligences beyond anyone's comprehension except posably the emperor. so they swore to bring the news of their finding to the emperor.the chaos gods cared little for the lack of devotion these bings lorgar had sent them, only that the worlds they found erupted in death and destruction.

the newly freed marines made for the first imperial planet they could find to resupply and get word to their brethren and the emperor of what had befallen them. to their horror appon making contact with the so called imperial world they learnt that some heretic cult was ruling this world with its worship of an emperor god! so the (truth bearers( the name they adopted during their centuries trying to find their way out of the warp to let the imperium know the truth.and their crusade threw the warp to spread the imperial truth) set apon the world to cleanse it in the name of the great crusade. they figured out after that centuries had passed since ther betrayal and by the 3rd world that they found that claimed to be part of the imperium, they all worshiped this emperor god. and that they could not except.
they where confronted and beaten back by the loyal space marines of the imperium who cared not to listen to them and seemed to worship this false god emperor. they where beaten and where forced to retreat back into the warp but not before they wher able to repair their nav systems and restock their fleet. shortly after they came across a fleet of the black legion and learnt of horus's rebellion and the emperors betrayal to humanity and discarding of his own imperial truth in his attempt to ascend to godhood. and swore or cleanse the imperium of the heretic believers in this false god emperor. as they continued their great crusade and the spreading of the imperial truth , in and outside the warp!

well that what i've come up with so far if you guys don't want to use it thats cool id still like to know what you guys think and any suggestions would be appreciated.
 

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While reading this, i thought i'd go through and correct the spelling and grammar, just to make it more readable, praps you could edit your post and put this in mate?

As Lorgar of the Word Bearers was first discovering the gods of the warp before the whole chapter had fallen to the taint of the chaos gods, there were many loyal warriors who were staunch believers in spreading the Imperial Truth through the Great Crusade.
As Lorgar began his worship, the gods demanded sacrifice!

I re-wrote

as lorgar began his worship the gods demanded sacrafice! crewmen and gurdsman at first , they where easy cover their dissaperences, but they became more and more till the gods started calling for the blood of brother astrates.
to

Lorgar sated their desire by offering up mere crewmen and members of the Imperial Guard at first. Easily replaceable, they're loss aroused little suspicion. Soon, the corrupt powers demanded more, calling for the blood of Astartes.

again, re-wrote:

lorgar in his ambition succame to their demands. one brother here another there. but shortly quiet questions where beginning to arise. but at the same time more and more of his brothers where following him down his dark path. so lorgar and his tainted brethren (whos numbers where growing rapidly) set out to gather the names of all the men they belived would never turn from there loyalty to the emperor, and discard the lies of the imperial truth. a whole 3rd of the chapter.
to

In his ambition, Lorgar succumbed to their demands. As Lorgar fed them to the gods, brother by brother, suspicions grew of his secret experiments. While the loyal members of the chapter questioned Lorgar's activities, there were those that joined him in his depravity. Thus Lorgar and his tainted bretheren gathered the names of the Brothers who would never turn from the Emperor's undying light. Their list encompassed a mere third of the chapter.

Still keeping his foul activities a secret, Lorgar and his dark bretheren laid a careful trap. After a hard fought invasion of a hostile world, Lorgar and his traitorous brothers put their plan into motion, the mass sacrafice that the gods where demanding.

Lorgar summoned all the loyalist Astartes to his audience and briefed them on an emegency mission to be embarked upon immediately. In his duplicity, Lorgar had falsified a distress call from another expedition fleet that needed dire reinforcements immediately.

The traitors had rigged all the ships that the loyalists would travel in so that all the navigational systems would self-destruct shortly after entering the warp, leaving them pray to the whims of chaos.

The plan worked perfectly. The faithful boarded their vessels and disembarked on their mission. Once they entered the warp all communication was lost. Logar was pleased and proceeded to delve deeper into the depthes of chaos!


And that's as far as i've got...
 

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Discussion Starter #3
thanks for the help torealis, it's obvious that i'm no writer, its been years since i tryed to sit down and write anything. but this was fun.
i liked your fine tuning. i cut and pasted them into the post. it definitely flows better. aside from the horrible grammar and spelling what did you think of the story?
 

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Jac "Baneblade" O'Bite
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NIce dude - I was a little scared reading the start and middle (it was very similer to the history of the 13th Company) but the end is cool and dispells that idea entirely.

What rules are you using? and Models! - Must see!!
 

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thanks, as far as rules i haven't gotten to that point yet. the only thing that i do know is that there will be little , probly no daemons, seing that that would require worship. haven't thought of anything to balance that major loss though :| ill see if i can figure out how to post a few pics in the gallery.
ps. whats the 13th company lol i honestly don't know. this was totaly off the top of my head.
 

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Jac "Baneblade" O'Bite
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This is taken dirrectly from Wikipedia and explains them pretty well.

"13th Company Space Wolves

Space Wolf legend states that the group that came to be known as Thirteenth Company was sent by Leman Russ to pursue the Thousand Sons legion as they feld through a portal into the Eye Of Terror, after the failed attempt to eliminate the Chaos-supporting legion. They vanished from Imperial records, and their loss is honoured by a black stone in the Grand Annulus (the record of Space Wolf Great Companies).

Their reappearance at the beginning of Abaddon the Despoiler’s Thirteenth Black Crusade has brought them back into the spotlight. They appear to still be in pursuit of the goal Leman Russ set for them, and it was believed that Leman Russ himself was their leader, although this was never proven.

The Thirteenth Company's organization departs heavily from Space Wolf norms, due to the lack of reinforcements and 'fresh blood' supplying the Company, the inability to train members in specialist roles, the lack of heavy equipment, and the effect of having to exist within the Eye of Terror for ten thousand years.

The core of a 13th Company warband are the Grey Slayers. Similar to Grey Hunters but far beyond them in skill, they fulfil the same roles in battle.

Because of the impossibility of recruiting new brethren, there are no Blood Claws in the 13th Company. Each and every Blood Claw has long since advanced to a higher stage. The Company's assault specialists are the Storm Claws. They are equally experienced, but still more hot-headed and aggressive than the Grey Slayers.

The key to the 13th Company's movement through the Warp are the Rune Priests. Because the Eye of Terror has unlocked hidden psychic powers in many recruits, the Company has no shortage of these highly gifted individuals.

The Wulfen are the most drastic departure from a normal Space Wolf. The Space Marines who mutate into Wulfen bear resemblance to werewolves in the same way as Blood Angels suffering the Red Thirst resemble vampires. Any marine to suffer as a Wulfen becomes a half man, half wolf creature with a feral mind. The mutation normally manifests itself in the neophyte stage and Space Wolves must spend time in their training in a scenario designed to out those who have become Wulfen.

Though normal Space Wolves sometimes use individual Wulfen in battle, the 13th Company use entire packs. Each and every member of the 13th Company carries the Curse, and it manifests itself in the Space Wolves at different times. Thus even the Wulfen packs do not stay the same. It has manifested itself so strongly and so late because it reacts to the influence of Chaos; because of this side of their nature acting as a kind of spiritual defence mechanism, Space Wolves are exceptionally resistant to the malign influence of Chaos. It is believed that the 13th Company have only been able to survive living as loyalist marines in the Eye of terror so long precisely because of this trait.

The 13th company was introduced into play in the Eye of Terror Campaign. The 13th Company cannot be used with the normal Wolves, but this is only a balance issue. The story "Engage the Enemy" shows the Space Wolves going so far as to lie to the Imperial Guard to protect the 13th Company."
 

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Cool fluff anyway mate, even if it does bear some resemblence to the 13th Company. But then again, 'lost in the Warp' is such a great reason for so many things, it was inevitable that GW would steal your great idea!

(I also have a Chaos/loyalist feud backstory involving lost companies, and that didn't have anything to do with the 13th Company either!)

:cyclops:
 
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