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Thats a very interesting idea and list which is nice to see. I would stick to one HQ and go with the standard; Lemartes. Unfortunately he is a little over used but you just can't beat his cost and abilities. Then throw the jump packs on the Berzerker Models I think that would look very tough IMO.

As for the Honor Gaurd I'm not sure, I would get them jump packs or a Rhino, maybe a power fist and some Meltas.

Not sure about the Dread configuration, I would skip the ML for xtra armor and the CC Dread Weapon. I know the Xtra armor gets pricy but it allows you to assault even if your shaken which is nice. However I like the idea of three Dreads lumbering toward the enemy.

If you get Rhinos for the Tac Squads drop the HB and change your Vet SGT to PF as opposed to PW. I've never used an Assault Squad in a Rhino however it goes good with theme of your army. Just spend the points for some Xtra Armor its a must for transports.

Your Dev Squad is fine your Vet SGT doesn't need any special weapons, just understand you lose one marine and then uyou start losing ML after that. I usely field 5 man DEVI's with two special weapons.

Your army looks good overall, its got alot of character which is nice, good luck hope this helps.
 
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