Warhammer 40k Forum and Wargaming Forums banner
1 - 17 of 17 Posts

·
Moderator
Joined
·
4,491 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Need help writing some fluff.
Needs to be about 500-1000 words long.

I started writing some, but i just cant seem to fit it all together.
I have the storyline for it, all the events etc, but im having trouble putting it into writing.

Me english no writey much gooder is sad. :blush:
 

·
Super Moderator
Joined
·
10,978 Posts
So basically, you`re looking for someone to edit and proofread?

Piece of cake. Contact me with what you had in mind and we`ll talk business, with the writey and the happy and the goodness.
 

·
Moderator
Joined
·
4,491 Posts
Discussion Starter · #6 · (Edited)
I sent Serpion5 a PM, but im happy for anyone to give it a go.

Everybody who has a good attempt will get +rep.






The fluff idea i had was basically for traitor guard, however they are NOT chaos.
They are actually one of the only armies that could be called the "good" guys.

Basically, there is a civilian population on a planet with very minimal defenses (basically just civilians with primitive weapons), and there is an Ork invasion on the planet.
With the planets almost non-existent defense, they call in for backup from the IG.

The IG come in and kill of all the Orks, but suffer large losses.

Then the Commissar tells the platoon commander that all of the human population must be destroyed to stop any transfer of the Ork spores, and that the planet is to be stripped bare of resources and basically destroyed, imperial orders.

Platoon commander, Commissar, and the sergeant of a unit of Veterans are in a room, with a civilian woman and her 2 children.
The Commissar orders the platoon commander to kill the woman and children, but he hesitates.
Commissar pulls his laspistol out and says to the commander "you kill them or ill kill you".
He takes aim at the woman, then the Veteran standing behind grabs the Commissar, and the Commander shoots him in the chest.

The whole army rebells against the Imperials orders, as they find the killing of innocent women and children sickening, and they devote their resources into defending the planets civilian population and their right to live a peaceful life.

Realistically though, the IG force was hit very hard from the war on the Orks, and there is very little left.
If the Orks invaded again, or the Imperium sent IG or Marines over to kill the "traitors", they would be killed easily along with the civilians.
Basically they know that they are going to die, but would rather die for protecting innocent people than to live under the orders of the brutal imperium.

While they still hate other races including chaos, nothing can compare to their hatred for the imperiums disrespect to their own race.




Im just having trouble writing it as a story from a persons perspective (probably the platoon commander).




Oh, and the army basically consists of....

Commissar (The platoon commander from the fluff, promoted after the rebellion)
Platoon Commander (The Veteran from the fluff, promoted at the same time)
3 Infantry squads
5 MeltaVet squads in Chimeras
3 Manticores
Possibly a Vendetta with SWS
Might consider a Leman Russ in place of a Manticore


The infantry models being used are the Wargames Factory Greatcoats. Similar look to the DKOK models.
 

·
Super Moderator
Joined
·
10,978 Posts
To confirm, you want a short story based around these events, correct?

Do you prefer First or Third Person? (Third probably better, but up to you)

Also, do you have any preferences as to the names and personalities of the three key characters, or will that be my call?

These details should be enought for me to start. Just want to make sure you`re happy with where it goes. :)
 

·
Moderator
Joined
·
4,491 Posts
Discussion Starter · #8 ·
To confirm, you want a short story based around these events, correct?
Correct.

Do you prefer First or Third Person? (Third probably better, but up to you)
Its your call. :)

Also, do you have any preferences as to the names and personalities of the three key characters, or will that be my call?
Names of characters and the planet is entirely up to you.

These details should be enought for me to start. Just want to make sure you`re happy with where it goes. :)
Cheers man, VERY much appreciated. :drinks:
 

·
Unhinged Hobo
Joined
·
2,341 Posts
As a quick note i wasn't aware that the orkoid spores could be transferred from person to person, i was under the impression that these were more similar to skin cells and so would be more likely to effect the planet then the actual humna populous. I can't see why a popultion would be wiped out to stop the spread of ork spores if the IG regiment was being spared. Now if there had been a cell of xenos sympathisers in the civilian population, maybe for example traders who communicate with kommandos. hiring out the orks as mercs or arranging pirate raids where the traders split the profits. in this way it could be the traders fault that brought the orks down on the planet and the imperium is culling the population as a lesson not to stray from the path. This makes more sense then wiping them out to prevent spores which could be eradicated by a simple decontamination. Either way the results are the same and the civilian traders could have been amongst the first casualties to fall when their erewhilst allies remembered that they were supposed to be focussed on crumpin' stuff.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
152 Posts
Isn't this kind of a standard scenario. I've been reading some Gaunt's Ghost books and I get the same feel. A bunch of good guardsmen alone amongst evil Imperium, the problem is everyone is like that. I think we look at the culture of 40k from our perspective rather than the more Medieval outlook that characterizes the Imperium. It seems the citizenry is more of an Old World mindset, where death is ubiquitous, authority is unquestioned, and obedience is a virtue. This mind is then brought into the IG where it is further dehumanized by a brutal Basic Training, an indoctrination that engenders a rancorous hatred of the enemy, the enemy being whoever your officers choose, and a constant series of violent, chaotic engagements. This turns a human being into a violent, murderous, shell of a man that can commit atrocities. The history of the world is replete with examples, the Thirty Years War, the Hundred Years War, wherever the Roman Legions campaigned. I just think it would be interesting to read something different, I get it how do you make a group of professional murders likable, we can't all be Francis Ford Coppola, but still it would be more in line with the universe of the grim future.
 

·
Moderator
Joined
·
4,491 Posts
Discussion Starter · #12 ·
As a quick note i wasn't aware that the orkoid spores could be transferred from person to person, i was under the impression that these were more similar to skin cells and so would be more likely to effect the planet then the actual humna populous. I can't see why a popultion would be wiped out to stop the spread of ork spores if the IG regiment was being spared. Now if there had been a cell of xenos sympathisers in the civilian population, maybe for example traders who communicate with kommandos. hiring out the orks as mercs or arranging pirate raids where the traders split the profits. in this way it could be the traders fault that brought the orks down on the planet and the imperium is culling the population as a lesson not to stray from the path. This makes more sense then wiping them out to prevent spores which could be eradicated by a simple decontamination. Either way the results are the same and the civilian traders could have been amongst the first casualties to fall when their erewhilst allies remembered that they were supposed to be focussed on crumpin' stuff.
What if Tyranids were used instead?

The Imperium could order the civilian population to be killed due to the risk of them being impregnated by Genestealers?

Im not really too fussed on the details. As long as its IG rebelling against the Imperium in order to save an innocent population from being killed by imperial orders, and that it makes sense from a fluff point of view.
 

·
Super Moderator
Joined
·
10,978 Posts
He has a good point. Fluffwise nids are far more dangerous a taint than orks.

And (at least to me) more fun to write about. :biggrin:

It`s gonna be nids now!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
592 Posts
I don't think 'nids would work. They would nuke the planet or evacuate well before an invasion.

I would run with orks, but the guardsmen would be ordered to scorch everything but the major habs. Which would basically cause the population to starve and die, etc etc.

Maybe tie it in with some of the guardsmen fighting to specifically save the food storages from an ork assault, making sure nothing gets close to it, but then gets ordered to scorch everything regardless of what they claim to have done to actually defend it, to give the population a rehabitable world.

Much like that one comic with the Black Templar.
 

·
Super Moderator
Joined
·
10,978 Posts
Nids will work easily. I`ll just say it was a weaker tendril fleet, one that was mostly fought off and destroyed.

The Commissar ordering executions is paranoia of genestealer infestation re-spreading.
 
1 - 17 of 17 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top