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Another night at the Mangled Moose.

27583 Views 528 Replies 42 Participants Last post by  Pariah Mk.231
Malochus said:
The Mangled Moose famous for cheap drink, cheap food and cheaper women. A place of violence and suffering, its the ideal hang out for the worlds drop outs. Famed for massive brawls...DUCK it's all going off again!

The Rules

-Nothing can be used that wouldn't normally be found in a traditional bar. i.e. No lasers, guns or such like.
-This is not a 'kill the above poster' topic. If someone did somthing to you a page back.. feel free to have your sweet revenge.

Lets get it started

This was a great idea, so I am going to try and start it afresh. But remember credit to Malocus for the original.

The revised rules.

Please make your posts of some quality and think of it as a story telling thread where we all take turns.

No weapon can be taken on to the premises (this includes the beer garden and car park). It is physically impossible resulting in the MOOSE taking a direct action agaisnt the individual.
The Moose will deal with rule breakers in this colour text. btw.

You may use anything that may be to hand in a normal pub or bar (stools etc) as a weapon.

This is not to the death it?s a laugh. Maul, kick, bite, scream and fight dirty but funny too!

No commitment required; if you don't post for a while you're knocked out by the action against you, for however long until you post again.

Its a general melee so any one can get stuck in to anyone else.

The Mangled Moose
The Mangled Moose is a drinking house known throughout Time and Space, from the 41st millennium to the days of Bugmans famous brew.
After the last time it had been destroyed many magical sources had been used to render it impervious to flame or sorceries, advanced machines hummed as they powered the many systems that ran the pub.
Down in the cellar, next to the sounds of the fridges and beer lines was the steady throb of the source of the Moose's power.
The Rift was a gateway to any time or place thus enabling The Mangled Moose to procure large supplies of any drink known to anyone/it/thing known,
Also of course for the customers to reach the place in the, well, er the first place.
Fights are quite common in this cosmopolitan atmosphere and this is how the place has been destroyed seven times before.
Apart from that it looks like an average pub with all that you expect to find therein.
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"That's got to be a mutant Gerbil!" Elchimpster says, patching the hole with duct tape.
Nimbly avoiding a thrown organ, Anphicar furtively looks at all possible sources of exit.

Deciding that the bar would soon turn into a gladitorial arena, Anphicar arms himself silently with a glass carafe, dashing the end against the pole supporting the table.
On entering the toilets Wertypop comes to the toilet that had been blocked for a few weeks having a good prod and a poke with the Demonic Diget he trys unblock the offending Crapper.
But alas to no avail!keeping the finger an arms lenghth he leaves the toilets and heads for the bar.
Toasting El-Chimpster for the drink but not actually drinking it Jacobite veiws the scene as a soon to be battle zone and once again leaves his booth and the drink to leap over the bar. This time instead of mixing up a another batch of toliet vodka he heads into the kitchen and returns with a large frying pan. Taking up postion just back from the entrance to the pumps and bar area, he makes a few experimental swings with the pan, loosing up his muscles for the coming hilarity.

Knowing that anybody who wants to recreate his trick with the solvent cocktail will have to get passed him and his kitchen impliment he chuckles to himself and pulls back to his hood so that his perifial vision is not imparred. He leans against the wall and waits.
using newly aquired gerbil skillz, cccp sneaks into the kitchen past the waiting jacobite. he then leaps on to an unsuspecting jacos face, giving him suck a shock he releases a burts of psyker energy and turns cccp back into a human, although hes still a little furry.

he then hits jaco with a fierce uppercut and runs away merrily.
Reeling from the uppercut Jacobite stumbles and drops the pan on his foot. After a second of cursing he regans his compossure and picks up a bottle of vodka.

"You like Vodka don't you cccp_one? - here have this!" and throws the bottle full force at cccp_ones running back. Unfortuantly due to the pain in his foot the bottle goes off target and hits Elchimpster in the recently duct-tapped hole in his armour. Nodding his apolgies and remembering to be careful of Elchimpster in the future Jacobite picks up another bottle and after calming himself lobs it again at the sasquacth like cccp_one. Picking up his pan Jacobite returns to his postion while the psykically guided bottle flys towards cccp_one...
Noticing the bottle of vodka, thrown directly at him, Elchimpster aligns himself precisely, allowing the bottle to land perfectly neck-first in the hole in his ceramitite armor...the duct tape cushioning the blow.

"Hell...this is better than the IV!" and with that, the sorcerer leans back at the bar, effectively tipping back the bottle, emptying it in to his abdominal cavity.

As the bottle runs dry, Elchimpster pulls out the bottle, burps in to his gauntleted hand and says "Reload!"
Seeing that Elchimpster has taken the missed shot in good faith and has actually enjoyed the experiance Jacobite abiliges and hefts another bottle his way.
The fabric of Space-Time buckles and rips as the robed and hooded form of Pyromanic Tendencies is vomited form the Ether with a muffled yelp. "And stay out!" hiss the voices of The Dark Gods as the Warp Gate snaps shut behind behind him. The crumpled Magus raises his head, a grin spearding across his face as he sees where he's landed. He gets unsteadly to his feet, just in time for a flying vodka-bottle to knock him back down.
Whilst walking back to the bar Wertypop notices that Vash(Who seems to be taking a long time getting to wherever he is going!)coming towards him!
Not wanting to miss the opportunity he wipes the Dirty Demonic Digit under Vashes nose!and announces-

"One smelly tash for Vash"

So that when he finally come to from hes slow sleep walk he will be able to enjoy the fragrance of two week old Floater!
One completing the task Wertypop turns to the bar (With Digit still in hand)just in time to see Pyromaniac Tendencies stop a bottle of Vodka in mid flight!
cccp rusn back into the moose and sees pyro being knocked down. he runs up to him, drinks the vodka, and then breaks the bottle over pyros head.
Pyromanic Tendencies gets unsteadly to his feet for the second time, looks round for anymore airbourne beverages, and starts going through the pockets of his robes. He pulls out an auspex, several codices, a DS, a fishing rod and Bricka, his talking brick. Finally, he finds what he's looking for: Gaunt's Ghosts, the COMPLETE omnibus. Talking careful aim, he throws the omnibus at cccp-one, who is by now staggering around the Moose, looking for his Russian Hat. The omnibus strikes him a glancing blow to the side of his head, and the Genestealer-Magus, seeing his work is done, walks to the bar, and orders a pint of bio-gruel.
Wiping the grotesque mushstacio from his upper lip the Viscount decides to remind the 'irksome janitor' of the differences between worshipers of Slaanesh and those that follow papa Nurgle..........Swiftly appearing behind Wertypop and grabbing the back of the guardsmans head he slams wertys face repeatedly into the bar top.

"I BANG worship BANG Slaanesh BANG not BANG Nurgle. BANG I BANG like BANG pleasure BANG and BANG PAIN BANG not BANG plagues BANG and BANG Turds BANG. See, BANG Im BANG Enjoying BANG your BANG pain BANG right BANG now!"BANG

Turning away from the bleeding and unconsious guardsman Vash strides purposefully to the pool table.........................

(OOC: A Turd Tash! Damn you Werty, Damn your very eyes :lol: .)

(OOC: PS. Im not online again till tommorrow folks so do not expect any interactions till then. :wink: VV
Luckly being a Pioneer and not having too much upstairs to damage!No undo-able harm is done.
Wertypop can now have some quality time to himself!
and time to think!




'Lime what gose with lime?Dam I must get on the Vox mobile to my good mate Balthasar Woll,He would know the answer!'
cccp looks around tha bar, which by now is spinning. he thinks that the vox mobile wertypop has just got out of his pocket is his russian hat. he staggers up to him, punches him, and puts the vox on his head.
Anphicar anxiously backs away from the growing tension in the bar, attempting to supress his anger, his fear, his disgust.

Noone likes me when I'm angry, he thought.

He vainly tries to shut out the...whispers...
>> Firewolf walks through the door of the Moose, and makes for the bar, punching Anphicar on the way by, only stopping to offer him a drink.
Elchimpster grabs the vox, tosses it back to Wertypop who seems to need a drink after the thrashing he received. Comes back over to CCCP, and hefts him up, plopping him back in to a booth next to Jacobite.

"Here, half-pint here needs a bit of looking after." The former librarian says.

Tossing a couple credits on the table, "Buy him a drink after he wakes up...he's gonna need it."

"Vash, you sick dog, shouldn't be making some music or something?"
Elchimpster goes back to his spot at the end of the bar...taking a newer stool (after the last one shattered).
Wertypop falls backwards from CCCPs punch and bounces off the bar and on to the floor from next to the Vox,Which he picks up,and Dials with Dirty Demonic Diget after a brief conversation about lime wertypop hangs up.

On walking to the bar he pokes the brown encrusted finger up Firewolfs nose and orders a drink.
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