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Another night at the Mangled Moose.

27614 Views 528 Replies 42 Participants Last post by  Pariah Mk.231
Malochus said:
The Mangled Moose famous for cheap drink, cheap food and cheaper women. A place of violence and suffering, its the ideal hang out for the worlds drop outs. Famed for massive brawls...DUCK it's all going off again!

The Rules

-Nothing can be used that wouldn't normally be found in a traditional bar. i.e. No lasers, guns or such like.
-This is not a 'kill the above poster' topic. If someone did somthing to you a page back.. feel free to have your sweet revenge.

Lets get it started

This was a great idea, so I am going to try and start it afresh. But remember credit to Malocus for the original.

The revised rules.

Please make your posts of some quality and think of it as a story telling thread where we all take turns.

No weapon can be taken on to the premises (this includes the beer garden and car park). It is physically impossible resulting in the MOOSE taking a direct action agaisnt the individual.
The Moose will deal with rule breakers in this colour text. btw.

You may use anything that may be to hand in a normal pub or bar (stools etc) as a weapon.

This is not to the death it?s a laugh. Maul, kick, bite, scream and fight dirty but funny too!

No commitment required; if you don't post for a while you're knocked out by the action against you, for however long until you post again.

Its a general melee so any one can get stuck in to anyone else.

The Mangled Moose
The Mangled Moose is a drinking house known throughout Time and Space, from the 41st millennium to the days of Bugmans famous brew.
After the last time it had been destroyed many magical sources had been used to render it impervious to flame or sorceries, advanced machines hummed as they powered the many systems that ran the pub.
Down in the cellar, next to the sounds of the fridges and beer lines was the steady throb of the source of the Moose's power.
The Rift was a gateway to any time or place thus enabling The Mangled Moose to procure large supplies of any drink known to anyone/it/thing known,
Also of course for the customers to reach the place in the, well, er the first place.
Fights are quite common in this cosmopolitan atmosphere and this is how the place has been destroyed seven times before.
Apart from that it looks like an average pub with all that you expect to find therein.
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cccp grabs an awful painting of a cat off the wall and slams it over the head of elchipmster, who falls off his stool, and os now constricted by the frame of the painting. he them pops the booze bag....
Contentedly munching upon the nuts, the Viscount looks around the gradually fiiling bar, his eyes clearing of the ale induced fug he realised that he is not the only non-Imperial in the place. Maybe he would have to share.

As the follower of Slaanesh took a long pull of his Old Keeper SurReal Ale he wondered 'Where did all these Guardsmen come from?'
That was the thing that he liked about Guard, there was always plenty of them to torment.

With these thoughts in mind Vash starts to flick pistashio shells at the nearest one, watching as the shells neatly bounced off Wertypop's head and fell with little plops into the the grimy Guardsmans drink.

The night could only get better......................................................
Concerned at the overzeolousness nature of cccp_one Jacobite stands up and makes his way to the bar where he presents the =I= seal to the bartender and leaps behind the bar before disappearing through the barmans door and into the back room. He returns moments later and turns his back to the room as he pores a glass of spirits.

Puting his best Puritan face on he makes his way over to cccp_one with what appears to be a free glass of Vodka. He then presents the glass to cccp_one and congratualtes him on his faith in taking down the fallen Astartes. Chuffed to bits cccp_one downs the glass and then promptly falls over next to Elchimp, comatosed, from the powerful cocktail of alcohol and industrial strenght toliet cleaner which Jacobite mixed into the drink.

Smiling to himself Jacobite returns to his corner to continue his oberservations and micromangent of the situation.
On expertly stopping the nuts with his head and controlling it with the power of luck into his drink!

Wertypop draws Vashes attention to the fact that during his stint in the "Pot Washer" The colour if his attire seams to of turned to a offworld GAY and that his leopard skin pants have shrunk!

And suggests that its a good job there is not a pole in the Moose because he would hate to seen such a ugly bugger rubbing ones self up and down it!
"That's IT" Elchimpster roars and picks himself up off the floor.
Turning and stretching forth his hand (plucking off the ruined booze bag) Elchimpster calls out to the forces of the warp for power. Heeding his call the warp answers...

Channelling the focused energies of the emperyan casts a baleful spell.

"Here little one, here is a gift" Elchimpster gestures to CCCP "a gift of CHAOS!"

Purple and green flame surge from Elchimpster's hands and envelop CCCP.

Maybe due to the influence of the Bacardi 151 (seven litres is a LOT) and maybe due to the displeasure with the servant of Tzeentch, the spell is corrupted, changing CCCP not in to a chittering spawn, but in to a gerbil.

Elchimpster grimaces, and picks up the gerbil by the tail.

"Here, this is for you...enjoy...pervert." The former librarian says as he hands the gerbil to Vash, the pink-haired slaaneshi devotee.

"Bartender" Elchimpster roars! "Another round for everyone...including that skulking character in the corner"
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"Why thank you very much for the drink!"

"May I just say now it might be a good time to remove that "awful pussy picture" from around you neck!"
"Good call mortal" and Elchimpster rips the delapidated frame from his shoulders and tosses it to the floor.

"Care to play darts? I can shoot from here, and you can shoot from over there...at the line...you know...give you a chance and all." as the sorcerer grins wickedly.
On excepting the drink and ensuring that it has no industrial strength toilet cleaner in it.
Wertypop considers the the offer of a game of darts but knowning that he has most likely used with all luck up with the head/peanut/glass thing!
But as a Pioneer and a gentleman he takes up the offer of the game.
"Yes I would like a game but waht do you want to play?"

"Start from 305 start on a double,but Im not too good a killer its the old BS of 3 dose not do much for the aim."

"Oh and we aim at the board!"
"Thanks for the clarification...I was considering aiming at that seedy character...Jacobite he may be called." Elchimpster focuses on the patterns in the chaos, seeing the lines of probability (Warptime is my friend)...and throws three darts at a time, all hitting the perfect mark as desired.

"Your turn...friend".
cccp bites off one of vash's fingers... then calls upon the dubious powers of the moose to change him back, and punish elchimpster for using a non barfight weapon!
To engrosed in the game of darts to notice the GERBIL/CCCP transfomation,Wertypop says.

"Were you aiming to score 3 if you were thats perfect aim you have!"
"Next time I would go for 20"

"Bar steward!"
"Sorry I mean barman!"

Wertypop turns towards the bar,"Please could you pass me my Master carfted darts"

Wertypop collects darts from barman"These should even up the odds a bit"and walks to the line,
"I take it we are going straight into the game then?"
With the first throw he scores a 15,With the second a double 1!
and with the last a 20!
"Well not bad 37! Im pleased! Just need to pop to the loo old bean will be back in a mo,you might as well have you go While Im sure we Know what you will most likely score"
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"Do you hear something?" Elchimpster asks.
"I hear a chittering...like a muskrat...or GERBIL!"
(Walking toward the toilets)Wertypop turns "No I cant hear any thing"

On turning back Wertypop notices one of Vashes fingers on the floor and picks it up,looks at it and says"I dont think much of the finger buffet!"

"Ah I have a use for this!"With that Wertypop walks to the loo(Thats the MALE toilets not the FEMS!)
Vash watches in fascination as his stump starts to writh and mutate, slowly it grows back, but not as it was before........................................... a huge and manic grin spreads over Vash's leering face.
"Ah, and I have a use for this!" With that the depraved servant of Slaanesh walks to the Gents.....................................
"Werty...in case you need a good wipe, I hear Gerbils work nicely..." gesturing to CCCP.

*OOC, I think turning CCCP in to a gerbil is perfectly reasonable and fair. No harm was done and he'll have fun in his fluffy form until he changes back. ;)
*continues to be fluffy*

crawls down the neck of els power armour and begins gouging flesh out of his back.
"Ooooh, that feels good. I little to the left...not too far down...oh I wouldn't do that...that us the fecal waste tube...ewwwww" Elchimpster grimaces.

"Well...I warned you"
cccp bursts out of the front of the armour, lutching elchimpesers spleen in one furry hand. (like in that seen form aliens.)

cccp throws spleen at anphicar
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