Warhammer 40k Forum and Wargaming Forums banner

Another night at the Mangled Moose.

27575 Views 528 Replies 42 Participants Last post by  Pariah Mk.231
Malochus said:
The Mangled Moose famous for cheap drink, cheap food and cheaper women. A place of violence and suffering, its the ideal hang out for the worlds drop outs. Famed for massive brawls...DUCK it's all going off again!

The Rules

-Nothing can be used that wouldn't normally be found in a traditional bar. i.e. No lasers, guns or such like.
-This is not a 'kill the above poster' topic. If someone did somthing to you a page back.. feel free to have your sweet revenge.

Lets get it started

This was a great idea, so I am going to try and start it afresh. But remember credit to Malocus for the original.

The revised rules.

Please make your posts of some quality and think of it as a story telling thread where we all take turns.

No weapon can be taken on to the premises (this includes the beer garden and car park). It is physically impossible resulting in the MOOSE taking a direct action agaisnt the individual.
The Moose will deal with rule breakers in this colour text. btw.

You may use anything that may be to hand in a normal pub or bar (stools etc) as a weapon.

This is not to the death it?s a laugh. Maul, kick, bite, scream and fight dirty but funny too!

No commitment required; if you don't post for a while you're knocked out by the action against you, for however long until you post again.

Its a general melee so any one can get stuck in to anyone else.

The Mangled Moose
The Mangled Moose is a drinking house known throughout Time and Space, from the 41st millennium to the days of Bugmans famous brew.
After the last time it had been destroyed many magical sources had been used to render it impervious to flame or sorceries, advanced machines hummed as they powered the many systems that ran the pub.
Down in the cellar, next to the sounds of the fridges and beer lines was the steady throb of the source of the Moose's power.
The Rift was a gateway to any time or place thus enabling The Mangled Moose to procure large supplies of any drink known to anyone/it/thing known,
Also of course for the customers to reach the place in the, well, er the first place.
Fights are quite common in this cosmopolitan atmosphere and this is how the place has been destroyed seven times before.
Apart from that it looks like an average pub with all that you expect to find therein.
See less See more
Not open for further replies.
1 - 20 of 529 Posts
After yet another day digging holes and filling sandbags for the glory of the Emperor Wertypop needed a drink and the Moose was a calling!
With a begrudged moan he left his trusty Lazgun at the door along with his trusty GS spade.
He could not belive that someone was abusing the glass washing machine
Still he was here for a drink not a fight!
He had all night for one on them!
On passing a not to upright Spacemarine(Elchimpster) Wertypop gracefully slides towards the bar on the liquid oozeing from its booze bag.
On reaching the bar orders a stiff one!
On expertly stopping the nuts with his head and controlling it with the power of luck into his drink!

Wertypop draws Vashes attention to the fact that during his stint in the "Pot Washer" The colour if his attire seams to of turned to a offworld GAY and that his leopard skin pants have shrunk!

And suggests that its a good job there is not a pole in the Moose because he would hate to seen such a ugly bugger rubbing ones self up and down it!
"Why thank you very much for the drink!"

"May I just say now it might be a good time to remove that "awful pussy picture" from around you neck!"
On excepting the drink and ensuring that it has no industrial strength toilet cleaner in it.
Wertypop considers the the offer of a game of darts but knowning that he has most likely used with all luck up with the head/peanut/glass thing!
But as a Pioneer and a gentleman he takes up the offer of the game.
"Yes I would like a game but waht do you want to play?"

"Start from 305 start on a double,but Im not too good a killer its the old BS of 3 dose not do much for the aim."

"Oh and we aim at the board!"
To engrosed in the game of darts to notice the GERBIL/CCCP transfomation,Wertypop says.

"Were you aiming to score 3 if you were thats perfect aim you have!"
"Next time I would go for 20"

"Bar steward!"
"Sorry I mean barman!"

Wertypop turns towards the bar,"Please could you pass me my Master carfted darts"

Wertypop collects darts from barman"These should even up the odds a bit"and walks to the line,
"I take it we are going straight into the game then?"
With the first throw he scores a 15,With the second a double 1!
and with the last a 20!
"Well not bad 37! Im pleased! Just need to pop to the loo old bean will be back in a mo,you might as well have you go While Im sure we Know what you will most likely score"
See less See more
(Walking toward the toilets)Wertypop turns "No I cant hear any thing"

On turning back Wertypop notices one of Vashes fingers on the floor and picks it up,looks at it and says"I dont think much of the finger buffet!"

"Ah I have a use for this!"With that Wertypop walks to the loo(Thats the MALE toilets not the FEMS!)
On entering the toilets Wertypop comes to the toilet that had been blocked for a few weeks having a good prod and a poke with the Demonic Diget he trys unblock the offending Crapper.
But alas to no avail!keeping the finger an arms lenghth he leaves the toilets and heads for the bar.
Whilst walking back to the bar Wertypop notices that Vash(Who seems to be taking a long time getting to wherever he is going!)coming towards him!
Not wanting to miss the opportunity he wipes the Dirty Demonic Digit under Vashes nose!and announces-

"One smelly tash for Vash"

So that when he finally come to from hes slow sleep walk he will be able to enjoy the fragrance of two week old Floater!
One completing the task Wertypop turns to the bar (With Digit still in hand)just in time to see Pyromaniac Tendencies stop a bottle of Vodka in mid flight!
Luckly being a Pioneer and not having too much upstairs to damage!No undo-able harm is done.
Wertypop can now have some quality time to himself!
and time to think!




'Lime what gose with lime?Dam I must get on the Vox mobile to my good mate Balthasar Woll,He would know the answer!'
Wertypop falls backwards from CCCPs punch and bounces off the bar and on to the floor from next to the Vox,Which he picks up,and Dials with Dirty Demonic Diget after a brief conversation about lime wertypop hangs up.

On walking to the bar he pokes the brown encrusted finger up Firewolfs nose and orders a drink.
Wertypop leaps over the bar and rips the cables from the back of the till!
Whilst holding the live cable by the flex Wertypop jabs the bare wires on the the fryingpay in Jacobites hand!


Jacobite and Squighound are dancing to the vibe of 240Volts and they are quite good at it!
With the comment of "Shocking"Wertypop leaps back over the bar to see what over havoc he can reak!
Wertypop minus one boot and with his new orange/red/yellow all over body warmer!(As supplied by Jacobite TM)
Makes his way quick time to the toilets to douse the flames!
Thinking that Red Ork is yet more fire can to join the infurno!Wertypop make a dash for the window using CCCP as a spring board he dives head first through the window!


Luckly some one had left the cellar hatch open so this stopped Wertypop fom hitting the ground!


As the barrels brake his fall!
Rolling around in the deepest beer puddle he can find Wertypop puts himself out!
And looks round the cellar for the best beer
On finding a Firkin of Dam Fine Beer!(TM)Wertypop picks it up and starts to shake it!
Making sure that the barrel has had a good shake Wertypop moves up the cellar ladder with the barrel and fligs open the hatch that is in the floor behind the bar!
That lands on the Bobuless head making him drop the boot that he was busy chewing!
Wertypop retrives his boot and the picks up the shaken barrel lays it in the bar and aim it towards the Red Ork!
Using his boot as a hitting device he knocks the wedge out the barrel!


The beer fueled missile takes off and heads toward the pool table!
Wertypop returns to the bar and picks up one of the many drinks from the bar.
Suddnley having a drunken guilt trip about the cellar door that hit Bobuless,he reaches over to Firewolf and removes thfinger that had been plugged up the earlier.
POP! and throws the tasty titbit to Bobuless!Just before it hits the ground the public phone on the bar rings.


Wertypop looks round but nobody seem to notice it ringing.


With one last look around Wertypop picks up the phone!

Yes....not sure?...I will ask?

Wertypop looks round the bar and shouts in a loud drunken voice!

See less See more
Still holding the phone Wertypop looks around to see if and body has heard him.
Getting bored of holding the phone Wertypop puts down on the bar and looks the around the bar and notices an newcomer who says-

"Any one got a problem with my choice of drink?"
Wertypop considers an answer for thi sand says-

"Yes there is its not as good as the drink ive got!"
1 - 20 of 529 Posts
Not open for further replies.