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Well, this battle was a few days in the making, I had help designing this list from the very people on this forum (you know who you are!)

First ill talk about whats going to be brought.

Mine: Chaos (courtesy of Hesky)
HQ:
Sorcerer, MoS, Lash 125pts

Troops:
8 Berzerkers, skull champion w/fist 208pts
6 Csm, 1 plasma 105pts

Heavy support:
5 Havocs, 4 missile launchers 155pts
5 Havocs, 4 missile launchers 155pts (I had to proxy these, missiles aren't easy to find yknow!)

Comments: Yes this list is EVIL, but if you've had EVERY GAME with the same guy who pulls the same shit as this, you'd get desperate as well.

His: DERPDERPNIDZHURHUR
HQ:
Tervigon, catalyst

Elite:
Zoanthrope
Zoanthrope
3 warriors (2deathspitters and that other gun)

Troops:
17 gaunts
17 gaunts

Heavy:
Trygon (I don't know what hes giving it)

Now here's a few things Id like to know. Apparently; his Trygon is able to move 6, run 12, and assault 6 (this is BULLSHIT, I know it has fleet, but 12!? HOW)
Also. My friend didn't read the rule about tyranid close combat weapons (THEY NEVER GRANT AN EXTRA ATTACK, unless theirs a pair of them, in your face stupid tyrant, we continue..)

Oh and apparently he doesn't know how to read:
Bounding leap allows Hormagaunts(the melee ones right?) to roll THREE dice and pick the HIGHEST SINGLE DICE for their move. NOT THE HIGHEST TWO AND MOVE THAT DISTANCE. (he seriously though he could move 6, run up to 12, and assault 6)

That aside, I forced him to read his codex for the 50th time INFRONT OF ME, and he finally agreed to the terms (though he gave dirty looks and grumbles)

Now.. lets get started shall we?

The game was annihilation (yay dice rolls)
And we rolled to go first, I won (woo)

CHAOS:
I deployed both my havoc squads into seperate ruins (he will have to choose which one to go after!) My berzerker squad took the lead with the normal csm squad grouped with the sorcerer in behind.

NIDZ:
He deployed everything on the board (thank god no DS'ing trygon) the gaunts took a wall formation(apparently he actually thought gaunts gave MC's a 4+cover save!) The tervigon close behind, trygon to the right, zoanthropes and warriors to the left.

CHAOS TURN 1:
In movement I brought the zerkers forward behind a small wall, and the sorcerer's squad up behind them.

In shooting I decided to use my lash to drag the trygon a lovely 10 inches FURTHER to the right (and back to the board edge (this increased his distance from me by a large ammount.). Sadly its fearless so no pinning.

Then came the missile launchers. I targeted his tervigon with the first four.
I scored 3 wounds, my friend picked up his dice and went to roll his cover saves, and I stopped him. held out the Monsterous creature rules and smiled.
down to 3 wounds on the tervigon. NOW the second lobby of four!. 3 hits, rolled a 1 to wound. down to 1 wound on the tervigon (eh i assumed it would live with at least 1)

nothing to do in assault.

NIDS TURN 1:
Now that his trygon is hopelessly far away, he moves it up to make up for the lost distance (still far lol). The warriors move toward the zerkers, as well as the gaunts. zoans up behind. tervigon limping behind, oh he went to spawn gaunts and rolled 2, 1, 1 (lol'd)

In shooting he used his warriors weapons and killed one of the 6 marines.
Gaunts ran up sadly an inch out of assault range, tervigon let loose its splinter salvo and killed 1 zerker (godamn, 3 wounds and I pass all but 1)

He attempts to use the zoanthropes warpblasts, 1 failed psychic and the other hit 4 guys. Luckily I was in cover and made all my saves.

Trygon ran up 2 inches (ahaha, silly trygon)

CHAOS TURN 2:
In movement I brought the zerkers forward, and moved my sorcerer squad into the wall where they used to be.

In shooting I lashed the trygon AGAIN and dragged him back ANOTHER 12 inches! LOL (man he was pissed now)

I used my bolt pistols in the zerkers to kill 4 gaunts on the frontal squad.
And then i revealed that my marine squad has plasmagun. guess which almost dead MC is within 12 inches?
I rapidfired my plasmagun into the tervigon (whew rolled a 2 on one dice) and hit with the other. wounding on threes, rolled a three! DEAD TERVIGON!

with the death of the tervigon, all three units of gaunts were within 6 inches (even that pitiful 4 group he spawned)
3d6 hits on each unit. he rolled 14 hits (ouch)

the 4group was mutilated, the back 17 group lost 7 gaunts, and the frontal one lost 5.

Now it was my missiles turn! I saw some rather angry looking warriors and realised none of them were a prime. that means they get instant killed by krak missiles!
Launched 4 missiles, 4 hit (finally) and three wounded (godamn 1, note to self: kill that dice) Since they are instant death no saves, all three HAD to die (MUAHAAHAH!)

I still had 4 more missles, with the trygon still far away, the zoans are next (these guys would be harder.. 3+ invuln ouch)

Rolled to hit, another 4 hit. 4 wounds FINALLY. He rolls his saves. Fails one. one dead zoanthrope.

The game so far:
This is pretty much a slaughter, I brought an aged blue cheese of a list, but the fucker needs to learn that IT'S NOT ALWAYS ABOUT WINNING AND BRINGING RETARDED LISTS, ITS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD!

Assault phase and the berzerkers demolished the squad of gaunts, they consolidated back towards my edge (keeping far away from that trygon)

NIDS TURN 2:
Now with barely anything left, he moved his surviving gaunts towards my berzerkers, the single zoan floated forward, and the extremely pissed trygon moved up 6
In shooting he ran his trygon, rolled a 3 (ONE INCH OUT OF CHARGE RANGE ROFL) I think he tore out some hair there...

The zoan tried a desperate warpblast ontop of the sorcerer. direct hit. failed the sorcerers save, lost another marine. sorcerer's still got 2 wounds.

In assault he tried to squeeze the gaunts past the zerkers to hit my sorcerer, sadly he couldn't get out of the 1inch range, they were in combat with the zerkers now!

They managed to kill 1 zerker, and ONE GAUNT SURVIVES the counter attack. since a zoan is still there, it passes the leadership test.

CHAOS TURN 3:
This is pretty much the end of the game.
I moved my sorcerers squad towards the trygon, my zerkers are still kicking around that single gaunt, and my missiles are ready...

I fired all 8 missles at the trygon, 7 hit, 5 wounded (damn)

and then I was about to fire my plasmagun, not realising I REMOVED HIM AS A CASUALTY BY MISTAKE LOL. Oh well. BOLT PISTOLS AWAY!
4 shots, 3 hitting on 3's, the other on 2's (sorcerers) and 3 hit. wounding on 6's lol. all fail

I decided to assault the trygon (little did he know. my sorcerer is initiative 6!)

The sorcerer gets first hit, 5 power weapons, hitting on 4's, wounding on 6's ouch
I roll to hit, 4 hit. I roll to wound.. 3 5's and a cocked dice. I re-roll.. A 6 WOO!

The trygon loses its last wound, and the beast goes down without doing a single thing in the battle (he kept running, so he couldnt use its pulse)

The last gaunt is kicked over the goal post. The only thing left alive is the zoan thrope

My apponent concedes

He turns to me and says in a very dark tone "Last game we will ever play, sorry but i'm gonna just paint now, see you around" With that he asked me to leave and I took my army, and decided it was time to paint them up as well.

Assholes love to win, when you out-asshole them, they give up. Or get angry.
Either way.

Battle report:
With nothing on the chaos side going under half strength, and nearly all the nidz were killed. this was a slaughter
 

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Lol great to hear jerks being so soundly beaten.
 

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Unfinished Project King
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7,409 Posts
That is a good time! I also despise it when people have to win so badly that the fun is left behind.

Just as a side note, he is a moron for thinking that the trygon is a beast. It moves 6", runs d6", and assaults 6". I don't know what he was smoking. Anyway he also should have taken a bunch of no retreat wounds on that sole remaining gaunt. BOOO downside to being fearless in synapse.

Anyway good to see you beat him at his own game. Maybe he will calm down from now on.
 

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This sorta reminded me of a game I had with an ork player using daemons. Orks got picked apart on all sides. 30 strong boys squad being wiped out by flamers. Lord of change tearing into more boys. Bloodletters chopping up everything in their way. Plaguebearers and daemon princes kicking around Nobz. By turn 4 a squad of retreating gretchin, some far off lootas, and stragglers being sync killed by various daemons are all that's left.

Only difference is he was actually nice and made me feel bad about beating him so easily.
 

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Eastern Potent
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2,654 Posts
Well, this battle was a few days in the making, I had help designing this list from the very people on this forum (you know who you are!)

First ill talk about whats going to be brought.

Mine: Chaos (courtesy of Hesky)
HQ:
Sorcerer, MoS, Lash 125pts

Troops:
8 Berzerkers, skull champion w/fist 208pts
6 Csm, 1 plasma 105pts

Heavy support:
5 Havocs, 4 missile launchers 155pts
5 Havocs, 4 missile launchers 155pts (I had to proxy these, missiles aren't easy to find yknow!)

Comments: Yes this list is EVIL, but if you've had EVERY GAME with the same guy who pulls the same shit as this, you'd get desperate as well.

His: DERPDERPNIDZHURHUR
HQ:
Tervigon, catalyst

Elite:
Zoanthrope
Zoanthrope
3 warriors (2deathspitters and that other gun)

Troops:
17 gaunts
17 gaunts

Heavy:
Trygon (I don't know what hes giving it)

Now here's a few things Id like to know. Apparently; his Trygon is able to move 6, run 12, and assault 6 (this is BULLSHIT, I know it has fleet, but 12!? HOW)
Also. My friend didn't read the rule about tyranid close combat weapons (THEY NEVER GRANT AN EXTRA ATTACK, unless theirs a pair of them, in your face stupid tyrant, we continue..)

Oh and apparently he doesn't know how to read:
Bounding leap allows Hormagaunts(the melee ones right?) to roll THREE dice and pick the HIGHEST SINGLE DICE for their move. NOT THE HIGHEST TWO AND MOVE THAT DISTANCE. (he seriously though he could move 6, run up to 12, and assault 6)

That aside, I forced him to read his codex for the 50th time INFRONT OF ME, and he finally agreed to the terms (though he gave dirty looks and grumbles)

Now.. lets get started shall we?

The game was annihilation (yay dice rolls)
And we rolled to go first, I won (woo)

CHAOS:
I deployed both my havoc squads into seperate ruins (he will have to choose which one to go after!) My berzerker squad took the lead with the normal csm squad grouped with the sorcerer in behind.

NIDZ:
He deployed everything on the board (thank god no DS'ing trygon) the gaunts took a wall formation(apparently he actually thought gaunts gave MC's a 4+cover save!) The tervigon close behind, trygon to the right, zoanthropes and warriors to the left.

CHAOS TURN 1:
In movement I brought the zerkers forward behind a small wall, and the sorcerer's squad up behind them.

In shooting I decided to use my lash to drag the trygon a lovely 10 inches FURTHER to the right (and back to the board edge (this increased his distance from me by a large ammount.). Sadly its fearless so no pinning.

Then came the missile launchers. I targeted his tervigon with the first four.
I scored 3 wounds, my friend picked up his dice and went to roll his cover saves, and I stopped him. held out the Monsterous creature rules and smiled.
down to 3 wounds on the tervigon. NOW the second lobby of four!. 3 hits, rolled a 1 to wound. down to 1 wound on the tervigon (eh i assumed it would live with at least 1)

nothing to do in assault.

NIDS TURN 1:
Now that his trygon is hopelessly far away, he moves it up to make up for the lost distance (still far lol). The warriors move toward the zerkers, as well as the gaunts. zoans up behind. tervigon limping behind, oh he went to spawn gaunts and rolled 2, 1, 1 (lol'd)

In shooting he used his warriors weapons and killed one of the 6 marines.
Gaunts ran up sadly an inch out of assault range, tervigon let loose its splinter salvo and killed 1 zerker (godamn, 3 wounds and I pass all but 1)

He attempts to use the zoanthropes warpblasts, 1 failed psychic and the other hit 4 guys. Luckily I was in cover and made all my saves.

Trygon ran up 2 inches (ahaha, silly trygon)

CHAOS TURN 2:
In movement I brought the zerkers forward, and moved my sorcerer squad into the wall where they used to be.

In shooting I lashed the trygon AGAIN and dragged him back ANOTHER 12 inches! LOL (man he was pissed now)

I used my bolt pistols in the zerkers to kill 4 gaunts on the frontal squad.
And then i revealed that my marine squad has plasmagun. guess which almost dead MC is within 12 inches?
I rapidfired my plasmagun into the tervigon (whew rolled a 2 on one dice) and hit with the other. wounding on threes, rolled a three! DEAD TERVIGON!

with the death of the tervigon, all three units of gaunts were within 6 inches (even that pitiful 4 group he spawned)
3d6 hits on each unit. he rolled 14 hits (ouch)

the 4group was mutilated, the back 17 group lost 7 gaunts, and the frontal one lost 5.

Now it was my missiles turn! I saw some rather angry looking warriors and realised none of them were a prime. that means they get instant killed by krak missiles!
Launched 4 missiles, 4 hit (finally) and three wounded (godamn 1, note to self: kill that dice) Since they are instant death no saves, all three HAD to die (MUAHAAHAH!)

I still had 4 more missles, with the trygon still far away, the zoans are next (these guys would be harder.. 3+ invuln ouch)

Rolled to hit, another 4 hit. 4 wounds FINALLY. He rolls his saves. Fails one. one dead zoanthrope.

The game so far:
This is pretty much a slaughter, I brought an aged blue cheese of a list, but the fucker needs to learn that IT'S NOT ALWAYS ABOUT WINNING AND BRINGING RETARDED LISTS, ITS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD!

Assault phase and the berzerkers demolished the squad of gaunts, they consolidated back towards my edge (keeping far away from that trygon)

NIDS TURN 2:
Now with barely anything left, he moved his surviving gaunts towards my berzerkers, the single zoan floated forward, and the extremely pissed trygon moved up 6
In shooting he ran his trygon, rolled a 3 (ONE INCH OUT OF CHARGE RANGE ROFL) I think he tore out some hair there...

The zoan tried a desperate warpblast ontop of the sorcerer. direct hit. failed the sorcerers save, lost another marine. sorcerer's still got 2 wounds.

In assault he tried to squeeze the gaunts past the zerkers to hit my sorcerer, sadly he couldn't get out of the 1inch range, they were in combat with the zerkers now!

They managed to kill 1 zerker, and ONE GAUNT SURVIVES the counter attack. since a zoan is still there, it passes the leadership test.

CHAOS TURN 3:
This is pretty much the end of the game.
I moved my sorcerers squad towards the trygon, my zerkers are still kicking around that single gaunt, and my missiles are ready...

I fired all 8 missles at the trygon, 7 hit, 5 wounded (damn)

and then I was about to fire my plasmagun, not realising I REMOVED HIM AS A CASUALTY BY MISTAKE LOL. Oh well. BOLT PISTOLS AWAY!
4 shots, 3 hitting on 3's, the other on 2's (sorcerers) and 3 hit. wounding on 6's lol. all fail

I decided to assault the trygon (little did he know. my sorcerer is initiative 6!)

The sorcerer gets first hit, 5 power weapons, hitting on 4's, wounding on 6's ouch
I roll to hit, 4 hit. I roll to wound.. 3 5's and a cocked dice. I re-roll.. A 6 WOO!

The trygon loses its last wound, and the beast goes down without doing a single thing in the battle (he kept running, so he couldnt use its pulse)

The last gaunt is kicked over the goal post. The only thing left alive is the zoan thrope

My apponent concedes

He turns to me and says in a very dark tone "Last game we will ever play, sorry but i'm gonna just paint now, see you around" With that he asked me to leave and I took my army, and decided it was time to paint them up as well.

Assholes love to win, when you out-asshole them, they give up. Or get angry.
Either way.

Battle report:
With nothing on the chaos side going under half strength, and nearly all the nidz were killed. this was a slaughter
Wait, so am I understanding right where were at his house or something? And after you own him, he kicks you out? lmfao, epic phail.

+rep for sticking it to an asshole.
 

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The funny thing is, his list isn't even all that good. He could've built a real cheese list and stomped you if he wasn't apparently retarded.
 

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Nice batrep, though luck was also on your side! Good to know fortune frowns on the cheesemasters now and then.

One thing, though. Why didn't your sorcerer Force weapon the last Trygon into warp-confetti? It would have been a perfect close for the win!
 

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no regeneration on the tervigon? WHATANOOB. The lash's just cracked me up, useless trygon, he should have taken another tervigon.....
 

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Wait. How big is the board you were playing on? To lash someone on the first turn must mean they were within 24 of you. Oh and tell your friend that hormagaunts move 6, can run up to 6, and ASSAULT 12 (a guy from my local gamestore told me). As a fellow chaos player I don't really know that for fact so tell him to search his book for specifics.

For tips you should try noise marines over chaos marines if you get any. They can cost the same or even be cheaper (points wise) than CSMs and do more damage at range with sonic weapons.
 
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