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Seems like you're off to a good start. I'd love to see closeups of the command squad, but I like what I see. The Khorne symbol looks out of place, unless there's some element of chaos, or maybe the culture your legion draws from has a war god who happens to be a flavor of Khorne.

I definitely appreciate your homebrewed fluff, just sorta causes dissonance/confusion to see that sort of thing.
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