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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
This is the Fluff for my Steel Legion Army, please C&C and share your thoughts.
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The 132nd Steel Legion, one of the many Imperial Guard armies during the Wars for Armageddon.

The 132nd who are only mentioned in faint whispers on hushed tongues are considered to be a myth to the rest of the Steel Legion, due to the tactics the 132nd employ.
The 132nd Steel Legion also known as the First Imperial Special Tasked Guardsmen Regiment and serve as Forward Observers and perform B.E.L Operations. They have also had the honor to serve along side the Black Templar during various 'Classified' deployments.

The uniform of the 132nd varies on role in the regiment and the role you are assigned in your squad, but the most common uniform is the Field Drab BDU with a Refitted Denison Smock over-top of the BDU.
The head-wear of the soldier varies on the soldier: they are all issued the Standard MkVI Combat Helmet and can be enhanced with a Camouflage mesh, camouflage paint and various equipments.

The Lasguns of the 132nd have been Optimized to fill a larger roll for the Squads of the 132nd and have been upgraded with a RIS so that Sights and Grips can be attached. (The Lasgun has the similar look of a M14EBR only its a Lasgun. =P)

The 132nd often deploy a Company instead of a Full Battalion due to the swift and percise tactics of the Commanding Officers, they are second only to Kasrkin themselves the 132nd are the Hammer and Anvil of the Imperium's First Special Tasked Guardsmen Regiment.

Thats all I got for now, tell me what you think.
 

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This is the Fluff for my Steel Legion Army, please C&C and share your thoughts.
_____________________
The 132nd Steel Legion, one of the many Imperial Guard armies during the Wars for Armageddon.

Is this a title? If not, it's not a full sentence and doesn't make any sense. If it's a title made it bold, or another way to show it's clearly a title :)
The 132nd who are only mentioned in faint whispers on hushed tongues are considered to be a myth to the rest of the Steel Legion, due to the tactics the 132nd employ.
The 132nd Steel Legion also known as the First Imperial Special Tasked Guardsmen Regiment and serve as Forward Observers and perform B.E.L Operations. They have also had the honor to serve along side the Black Templar during various 'Classified' deployments.

The uniform of the 132nd varies on role in the regiment and the role you are assigned in your squad, but the most common uniform is the Field Drab BDU with a Refitted Denison Smock over-top of the BDU.
The head-wear of the soldier varies on the soldier: they are all issued the Standard MkVI Combat Helmet and can be enhanced with a Camouflage mesh, camouflage paint and various equipments.

The Lasguns of the 132nd have been Optimized to fill a larger roll for the Squads of the 132nd and have been upgraded with a RIS so that Sights and Grips can be attached. (The Lasgun has the similar look of a M14EBR only its a Lasgun. =P)

The 132nd often deploy a Company instead of a Full Battalion due to the swift and percise tactics of the Commanding Officers, they are second only to Kasrkin themselves the 132nd are the Hammer and Anvil of the Imperium's First Special Tasked Guardsmen Regiment.

Thats all I got for now, tell me what you think.
Very interesting, would like to know more about them.

Pay special attention to your grammar though, you will find people enjoy it a lot more when it is perfect :) And that will result with more replies!

Time for an update :p
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Sorry, remember I'm only fifteen and though my Grammar is fairly good for my age its not perfect can you underline the words that have mistakes? And yeah I'll update them as soon as I can.
 

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This is the Fluff for my Steel Legion Army, please C&C and share your thoughts.
_____________________
The 132nd Steel Legion, one of the many Imperial Guard armies during the Wars for Armageddon. (this doesn't make sense unless it's a title)

The 132nd(should be a comma here) who are only mentioned in faint whispers on hushed tongues(should be another comma here) are considered to be a myth to the rest of the Steel Legion, due to the tactics the 132nd employ. (here, i would put a full stop instead of that comma in bold, and said something like 'This is because the tactics that 132nd employ are...' and then explain the tactics some more.
The 132nd Steel Legion9should be a comma here) also known as the First Imperial Special Tasked Guardsmen Regiment(should be another comment here) and serve as Forward Observers and perform B.E.L Operations.(This isn't a complete sentence. Either get rid of the and in italics and expand that sentence to explain more, ot put a comma at the end of operations and explain something.) They have also had the honor to serve along side the Black Templar during various 'Classified' deployments.

The uniform of the 132nd varies on the individual'srole in the regiment and the role you are assigned in your squad, but the most common uniform is the Field Drab BDU with a Refitted Denison Smock over-top of the BDU.
The head-wear of the soldier varies from soldier to soldier: they are all issued the Standard MkVI Combat Helmet and can be enhanced with a Camouflage mesh, camouflage paint and various equipments.

The Lasguns of the 132nd have been Optimized to fill a larger roll for the Squads of the 132nd and have been upgraded with a RIS so that Sights and Grips can be attached. (The Lasgun has the similar look of a M14EBR only its a Lasgun. =P)

The 132nd often deploy a Company instead of a Full Battalion due to the swift and percise tactics of the Commanding Officers, they are second only to Kasrkin themselves the 132nd are the Hammer and Anvil of the Imperium's First Special Tasked Guardsmen Regiment.

Thats all I got for now, tell me what you think.
Think thats about it mate, may have missed one or two things though. Also, where you have abreiviated words (such as RIS) put in brackets or something what it actually means, as some reader, including me, have no idea what it is lol.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Oh, sorry... thanks for the spelling check though. Helps a lot to know people will not just go Grammar Nazi and not correct what was misspelled or wrongfully written.
 

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Sounds terrific, could you perhaps include a when and why to your groups founding. Everyone loves a good motto as well, perhaps look into some sniper/scout/recon/SF mottos to hash one out? I personally am working on a "swamp rats" cadian group and love to see that you have gotten underway on your story. Please do keep us updated.
 

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Sorry, remember I'm only fifteen and though my Grammar is fairly good for my age its not perfect can you underline the words that have mistakes? And yeah I'll update them as soon as I can.
Im fifteen and I always take the time to check that my grammar and spelling is perfect before I post. Age is no excuse.

I think your fluff is good but I'd like to know what all of the abbreviated words stand for.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Hrmmm...
I've been playing around with the look I want for the Task Force: basicly a look similar to Modern Day SFs in Afghanistan so I might have to do some rewriting.
 

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I semi-sorta made my camo scheme based on the multi-cam the Rangers are using in Afghanistan. Good luck with the re-write. I wanted to do a SF theme but i like tanks too much. :) Good luck with your re-write.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Thanks, I think I'm going to sketch out the look for my characters and hopefully find someone that can help me sculpt/mold these puppies.
 

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if your looking for a sniper/recon etc type motto, the SBS's motto (By Strength and Guile) could give you some inspiration, and they are special forces.
 
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