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post #1 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-22-07, 05:55 PM Thread Starter
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Default Mega Halflings

I found an old Bloodbowl Halflings story I posted on Fumbbl many years ago. Heavily influenced by the movie Sleepers and Starship Troopers.

Here it is...

Tired of being beaten, abused and downright angry at being created weaker than every other race - halflings have decided to hit back in a big way. - They aint gonna take it no more.

After a difficult match at the hands of Varag Ghoulchewer and his team of no-gooders Griff and Zug retire to the baths for a mutual wash down.
Zug slips in first (he takes longer) followed by Griff once he's finished...
"We aint gonna take it no more!!" - A deep voice rumbles from the corridor.
"Holy shit, who said that?" Griff frowns, splitting the dried blood on his badly bruised brow.
"We aint gonna take it no more!!" the voice is louder and deeper.
"Oh dear, looks like the water boys dreading your next insertion Zug."
"Screw the water boy"
"Again?" A brief puzzled look flashes across Griffs brow.
"We aint gonna take it no more!!!"
Before the heroes can utter another word the fattest, rounded hairiest halfling the Old World has every seen comes tumbling down the corridor
"Better run skinny boy!!" it bellows - Zug swallows deeply. (No that isn't what I intended you to think!)
With lightning fast reactions Griff dives to his right (4 - success), grabs the soap-on-a-rope and starts swinging it furiously about his head like a crazed lunatic. Zug sobs gently grabs the loufer and joins his comrades side.
"Get back! Foul demon" Zug shakes uncontrollably, he'd never faced such a menacing looking beast in all his life.
The Mega Halfling circles the hot tub, eyes bulging, mouth frothing. It splashes Zug with the hot tap.
"It burns" the big man yells petrified, rubbing furiously at his sizzling skin, Griff commando rolls to his right (1 reroll - dodge 2 - success) grabs a towel and throws it at Zug (5 - success 6 - catches it). The towel twists in the air before landing neatly on Zugs badly scalded shoulder. "Dry yourself brethren! This thing is tainted by the mark of Chaos!"
The mega halfling ambles forward under a prolonged assault from Griffs expertly wielded Soap-on-a-Rope. It parries a clumsy effort from Zugs loufer and throws the big man fully thirty feet into Griffs make up table.
Griff looks into the Halflings eye with the steely certainty of a quadriplegic acrobat "You just sealed your death warrant Halfling!" Griff’s heightened anger spurs him forward, with soap-on-a-rope in one hand and the shower curtain in the other he reigns blow after blow upon the Halflings enormous frame. The mega halfling slips on a pink shower hat and tumbles to the floor. Zug re-enters the fray – having recently applied a fresh coat of Griffs lipstick.
“We aint gonna take it no more!”
Zug takes one look down the corridor "There's more?" he turns and makes like the road runner up the stairs and away.
"We aint gonna take it no more!!" the voice is louder now - closer.
Griff looks at the camera
“RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!!!!!!!!!”
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post #2 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-22-07, 10:14 PM
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well all i can say is................strange

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post #3 of 8 (permalink) Old 12-19-07, 10:32 AM
 
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yes, very very strange
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post #4 of 8 (permalink) Old 03-31-08, 11:52 AM
 
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Great work it is awesome can't wait for some more
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post #5 of 8 (permalink) Old 06-17-08, 01:13 PM
 
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that is the most random thing i've read for ages,

I LOVED IT!!!!

Seriously write more, now!

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post #6 of 8 (permalink) Old 08-24-09, 05:16 AM
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very, very strange.

Aerith/Aeris Gainsborough: “The current system of servitude is barbaric and inadequate for today's generation. We appeal to the leaders of both the Imperium and the Coalition of Hateful Assholes and Organised Sin to seek to change this for the betterment of all its citizens”

Lorgar: “Guess there was one plot thread we forgot to erase ...” Mortarion nods in agreement, while Ahriman looks on suspiciously.

Aerith/Aeris Gainsborough: “We feel trapped, we feel oppressed. And we urge our governments to release us from these metal boxes-”

Lorgar: “Oh shi-”

Firraveus Carron: Leaping to his feet. “METAL BOXES?!?METAL BOXES!!!THEY RIDE IN METAL BOXES!!!”

-Labor Unions

All credit goes to Lastie on Warseer, for writing Primarchs (available in a 647 page Microsoft Word document)
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post #7 of 8 (permalink) Old 08-28-09, 02:30 PM
 
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what exactly is a halfling?
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post #8 of 8 (permalink) Old 08-28-09, 08:51 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ubernerd View Post
what exactly is a halfling?
err i presume its a guy half the size of normal people.

knowledge is power, hide it well
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