I can definately see some things that need editting, ill have another read through later however:
1 - there were no White Consuls in the heresy.
2 - There is no way that the Primarch would introduce a simple battle brother to the First Claw of a different company. Konrad Curze mainly kept his interactions to those he himself gave titles to - such as Talos the Soul Hunter. His captains, and First Company.
Already, you exalt me for my triumphs, When I ask only that you remember me for my treacheries
Victory is nothing more than survival.
It carries no weight of honour or worth beyond what we ascribe to it.
If you wish to grow wise, learn why brothers betray brothers. - Khyron, First Grand Master of the Eighth Brotherhood.