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post #21 of 52 (permalink) Old 06-23-09, 11:34 AM
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Holy. Crap. That was so funny i almost fell off my chair. Well, I cannot top that, But here is mine:
First things first, I run a RP club. About a year ago, I let my little brother join in (he was 10 at the time). Now, you may think this was my error; not so. He has been quite good, most of the time. But this one takes the cake.

He was playing a Dwarf ranger ( I think) and the Party were chasing some cultists. They had the last cultist (A very strange evil cleric/wizard) trapped in a treehouse. Now, for reasons i forget, my brothers character was all oiled up (in real oil) and set a trail of oil towards the tree. he then decided to climb this tree. So oily trail to and up tree. He then opened the trapdoor, which was trapped (i'm not inventive) with burning sticks, in a criss-cross pattern. He dicided to saw one off. This worked, he now has a flaming stick. Stupid, aye, but not insalvagable. Throw it into water, and your fine. But no. Throw it to your friend and tell him to light the trail of oil. Then complain that you're on fire, Break your neck (almost), be knocked out then wake up and get into a fight (1HP)

Many thanks to for the Avatar!

Last edited by Da Red Paintjob Grot; 06-24-09 at 11:49 AM.
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post #22 of 52 (permalink) Old 06-23-09, 11:57 AM
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Around here, we have a Werewolf LARP game, which has been running for about 10 years now.. and we've had a lot of very hilarious moments and some very infamous quotes by people.
One of the best(worst) was this one:

On the first sessions, a silver fang ahroun becomes the alpha of the sept, somewhere during the session, just as we were about to storm a wyrm thingie, his phone goes off, someone called him IC telling him someone was muttering things about being a better alpha of the sept, so he tells the rest of of the strike group, which was later to become one of the most glorious packs of the sept, an all Get of Fenris pack called 'The Fangs of Valor':
Sorry guys, I can't fight the wyrm right now, I need to go defend my position.

Needless to say.. we were not amused when we returnd with that wyrm beastie in little pieces.

TKE's NTGU Brigade
Originally Posted by Winterous View Post
Einar is right.
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post #23 of 52 (permalink) Old 07-01-09, 05:30 AM
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The character was a 4th ed dragonborn barbarion. (Why-oh-why I let him play one...) who had been arested and had no equipment with him.

"Is there anyone in the cell?"

"Yes theres a guy with a black leather glove on whereing red sunglasses lieing on his bunk, and two guys playing dice in the corner."

"Ok, I hit the guy on the bunk in the face."

I roll my eyes. "Ok..." He gets a critical hit, and kills the guy. He was a major plot point. "The guards run into the room, there are 5 of them, all with spears and chain-mail."

"I punch one in the face."

He ends up killing all of them, why was I not suprised? Then he shouts, in character; "LIKE A BOSS!" I couldnt help laughfing.

"A true king is never alone, his will is equal to the will of all of his followers."
-Alexander the Great, kind of
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post #24 of 52 (permalink) Old 07-01-09, 07:16 AM
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I had a hive Arbitrator once who took a background that gave him Hatred (tech heritics) and paranoia combining these two with my charecter's low intelligence i constantly mistook things for tech heresy and ran shock maul swinging so they ended up tieing a rop around my waist and the other end to the inquisitor's pet Grey Knight.

Later on the party realized that we were the 4th wall breaking, joke craking, in over there head sidekicks to said Grey Knight and insisted that everything we said OOC is said IC for our own ammusement.

We decided that every member had to have a grapnel and must kill atleast one enemy with it to be considered a real member of the cell.

My Arbitrator's catch phrase was: TECH HERESY!!!

and this is why we stop playing at 2am becuase shit just gets weird
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post #25 of 52 (permalink) Old 07-16-09, 09:48 PM
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"The Thieves Guild was so secret even the DM didn't know it existed."
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post #26 of 52 (permalink) Old 07-16-09, 11:41 PM
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In SoH's Dark Heresy game, I run a Void-Born Psyker named Zane Cortez.

Cortez hates everything, chain-smokes, and acts ike the leader of the team even though it's not an official position.

So we're investigating the aforementioned Genestealer Cult

All the better invesitgators are out combing the Hive for information.

Cortez, being a fairly devout fellow, goes to church. While there, I idly mention that he is going to listen to the mutterings of the parishoners, and see what he can dig up.

We're talking an unskilled attempt at basic information gathering.

So, in a system where low percentiles equal success, I roll a natural 1.

SoH basically hands me the campaign notes for what's happening in the city.

Cortez sticks a Lho Stick in his mouth, lights it up, tromps back to the Arbites Precinct House we'd been based out of, sits on an ammo crate, and glances over at our pyromaniacal Guardswoman.

"Why don't you go.... do something."

"Like... what?"

"I dunno, flash your boobs at a gang leader or something. I've done my bit."

I've an absurd fondness for ol' Zane, because has not yet gone a single session without insulting the rest of his team.

"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."
-The Bene Gesserit Litany Against Fear, Dune

The Swordsworn Chapter WAAAAAAGH! GOBSMASH
W: 1 T: 1 L: 6_________________W: 8 T:2 L:6
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post #27 of 52 (permalink) Old 07-27-09, 04:48 AM
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I remember, one time I was being DM for D&D, one guy was a bard and as he was walking, he used an ability, can't remember which. we all look back at the assorted papers in front of us and all you could here was "Do you know, the muffin man?" and he just went on for five minutes. Also, more recently, (has anyone here seen Unforgotten Realms?) my cousin just randomly shouted "I CAST FLARE" and shone a flashlight in the other players eyes before rolling to see what the loot was. I have no idea where he got a flashlight.

Aerith/Aeris Gainsborough: “The current system of servitude is barbaric and inadequate for today's generation. We appeal to the leaders of both the Imperium and the Coalition of Hateful Assholes and Organised Sin to seek to change this for the betterment of all its citizens”

Lorgar: “Guess there was one plot thread we forgot to erase ...” Mortarion nods in agreement, while Ahriman looks on suspiciously.

Aerith/Aeris Gainsborough: “We feel trapped, we feel oppressed. And we urge our governments to release us from these metal boxes-”

Lorgar: “Oh shi-”

Firraveus Carron: Leaping to his feet. “METAL BOXES?!?METAL BOXES!!!THEY RIDE IN METAL BOXES!!!”

-Labor Unions

All credit goes to Lastie on Warseer, for writing Primarchs (available in a 647 page Microsoft Word document)
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post #28 of 52 (permalink) Old 08-05-09, 10:47 PM
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Sorcerer in my current group casts colorspray, and yells out "taste the rainbow!"

Originally Posted by Stella Cadente View Post
shocking, they do exactly what the codex says they do, who would of thought

WIP Thread
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post #29 of 52 (permalink) Old 08-06-09, 09:23 AM
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so ,Im running a dark heresy campaign, and my pcs are doing their tour of duty on tranch (basicaly northen ireland when all that shit was kiking of) and they have been told that the remaining cultists defend their hideouts with IEDs so OK they are patroling the streets and some fighting kicks off. they run across a gantry about three stories up and they fight in this corridore. the accolytes want to sweep the rooms to either side off the coridore, fine ,very sensible. so the crazy (but with only 5 insanit points out of 90) psycher with a huge, very inacurate custom made bolt pistol KICKS IN THE DOOR at a place which is held by the TLF (tranch liberation forces) BOOM a molotove goes of, only dealing 2 points off damage mind. he straffes the room with gunfire killing one cultist, then CLICK missfire, so what does he do?he refires that round, and what do bolts do? thats right they explode, ends up with 5 crit damage , blows off his hand and he faints.12 hours later after primitive medical atention, he wakes up. they continue to kick down doors stupidley, so I made one to be rigged with a melta bomb, dust to ruin his day! morol of story, dont piss off gm!

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post #30 of 52 (permalink) Old 10-03-09, 08:29 PM
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My friends and I were playing DND 4E. I was playing a seriously unhinged, but brilliant and convincing warlock. We were being commissioned by this town to defend it from an invading troll army. The town thought it would be a good idea to ask us what would be good ways to bolstering their defenses. Specifically they asked how to get the trolls to leave them alone and not eat them. Before anyone else could speak up I popped up with "If you want to keep the trolls out, light your house on fire and they wont come in." And that was when I was officially told I wasn't allowed to talk to outsiders of the group.
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