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Doelago 07-29-11 11:29 PM

The life and career of Commissar Volkmann
 
The man was clearly dead. He was laying on his back, with a rugged piece of metal pouting out through his throat. He could not recognize the man, the soldiers face ripped open by the explosion that claimed his, and most of his squads life. The chimera was also a similar wreck. Its back hatch was ripped wide open, and the walls and roof were badly mangled. Its pintle mounted heavy stubber lay on the ground, a hand still clutching the grip of the weapon.

“Blasted xeno wretches”
he could hear Major Hikkowa mutter under his breath, and truth was, that Volkmann shared the man’s sentiment. Volkmann clutched a helmet in his hand, studying its name plate.

“Who? Don’t tell me it is anyone I knew” the major said and chuckled.

“Sergeant Andomus. Always hated the bastard. You will be filling his death notice.” The major laughed.

“Commissar, you fail at relationships.”


“As if I could afford any?” Volkmann replied and threw the helmet aside, before crouching beside the body of the dead sergeant. He avoided looking at the face, it was a terrible mess, the explosion clearly having succeeded with its task. He picked the man’s pockets, collecting his Uplifting Primer and dog tags. He proceeded to turn the body around, relieved by the fact that he would not have to see the man’s face. He proceeded to open the bag, and was about to collect the spare power packs to the lasgun, when he found a brown box stuffed away at the bottom. He picked it out, and opened it.

”What do ya know? Lucky bastard died before I could confiscate these and execute him for breaking the regimental regulations”, Volkmann said, and smiled as he looked at the cigars in the box. He put one in his mouth, and lighted it with a firestick in the box. “Want one, Major?”

“You know I don’t smoke that shit” The major said with no humor in his voice.

“Too bad, they are real good.”

Doelago 07-29-11 11:29 PM

No, I could not come up with a worse name for the story. And C&C is welcome.

More on the way. I promise.

Haskanael 07-29-11 11:50 PM

"life of a commisar" would sound better as i pointed out on the chat :P
also nice story reads as if there will be a lots of humour for the readers If you continue

Doelago 07-30-11 12:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Haskanael (Post 1036576)
also nice story reads as if there will be a lots of humour for the readers If you continue

Of course there will be. :crazy:

ThatOtherGuy 07-30-11 01:26 AM

Does he drive a volkswagon? :crazy: Durhh.

Doelago 07-30-11 01:29 AM

Waht? :crazy:

Ambush Beast 07-30-11 01:43 AM

OK
 
I don't know what the other comments had to do with the story; mabye there is an inside joke I don't know about. But about the story, I like it and do hope for more.

Doelago 07-30-11 02:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Adrian (Post 1036614)
I don't know what the other comments had to do with the story; mabye there is an inside joke I don't know about. But about the story, I like it and do hope for more.

No inside jokes as far as I am aware, thanks, and yes, more is on the way. In fact, I have the next part written, but I am letting it rest for a moment in preparation for the proof readings. :)

Serpion5 07-30-11 12:11 PM

Good start Doelago. Now finish the job. :threaten:


:biggrin:

Doelago 07-30-11 12:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Serpion5 (Post 1036798)
Good start Doelago.

Thank you sir. :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Serpion5 (Post 1036798)
Now finish the job. :threaten:

You hinting at something. :unsure:


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