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Doelago 12-06-10 09:14 PM

Ghost in the Twilight (Short Stories)
As some people might know, I am soon about to start the Action thread for my RP (Guess the name :)), and I want to make it into my best RP, so I decided to do a bit of extra and write some short stories and reports, some detailing the events just before the RP, while some will be quite general information. I will try to keep an variety in it, so a few will be from the eyes of a person, while others (Like this one) will be reports and files detailing some event or location. I hope to keep this thing running for some time to give the people in my RP the little extra some of them might want from it. Some of the information might also be useful for those in the RP, while some might be interesting to the general reader. Any C&C is welcome!

__________________________________________________ _______________

+++ Highly classified document+++
+++Eyes only+++
+++Thought for the day: Information is power+++
+++My lord, I believe this is the document you requested me to send you when you left Terra. You were correct. The Adpetus Terra has indeed not published it. I wish you luck on your investigation upon the anomaly in the warp.+++
+++I will transmit Part 2 of the document as soon as I can+++

[File Name Classified]

File 1, Page 1

As the Adeptus Terra wished, I collected all the data I could upon the Boronis Prime system. I tried to keep it brief, but an extended report does also exist. (See. File: 1229/Delta Gamme/C:118#B)

The Imperium first found the system in the early years of M.34, and quickly colonized the sixth planet in the system, which was only planet of the nine that was inhabitable without having to alter the atmosphere. The first planet in the system was nothing but rock and oceans of lava. The second planet in the system is the smallest of the nine, and can barely be called a planet. The planet has over the millennia been bombarded by meteor showers, and thus it is filled with craters and cracks all over its rocky and barren surface.

(An interesting point is that when the system was first colonized the planet was entirely intact, but now it is an world that is filled with craters and cracks that lead all the way down into the heart of the planet. I have managed to find some rumours that claim that the planet was not bombarded by meteorites. Some of them claim that the planet has been, and would still be an testing ground for Imperial weapons. None of these rumours have come from reliable sources, but during my investigations in the system I did indeed find traces that do hint towards it. I will not go into detail of them here, as I am sure that this report will be checked over and over again before it is published, and some of the information might get me killed.)

The third and fourth planets are both gas planets, which are surrounded by thick meteor fields, making it impossible to build gas mines on them, as no sane pilot would fly through them with a ship of the size needed to build a mine. The fifth planet in the system is an world which scientists claim to have housed life several dozen millennia later. Today the planet is empty, devoid of all life. It is barren and isolated, and is highly radioactive, making it dangerous for normal humans to visit the planet even when in radiation suits. It should also be noted that the planet has an unusually low gravity, almost 50 times weaker than that on holy Terra. The only use the planet has seen has was during M.39 when the Adeptus Mechanius collected something from bellow the surface of the planet.

The sixth planet in the system, Boronis Alpha, is a sprawling mining world, housing more than 35 billion Imperial Citizens. Most of the citizens (31 Billion according to the latest report [667.M40]) live in huge hive cities, and the rest bellow the surface of the planet in huge mining camps. The surface of the planet is mostly barren, and other than the equatorial jungles, there is almost nothing but rock and mountains.

The seventh planet is a gas planet, and it houses an Adeptus Mechanius ship yard and a gas mine. All information of the eighth planet has been deleted or is highly restricted, and there is no information available.

(It is even to an high ranking Adept like me. I am not sure why the information has been deleted, but from what I have heard the planets atmosphere was altered to suit human life. During my investigations I visited the system, and I took a shuttle on towards the planet. From orbit I was able to see something that resembled hive cities, tough the all looked like abandoned. I also saw huge grey pyramids, and on several occasions flashing green lights on the surface. I have no idea what those might be, or from where they originate. I was about to investigate more about the matter, but I was forbidden to do that by an Inquisitorial representative. I am not sure how much more I dare to speak of this matter, I think it is better that I leave it as it is right now, as I don’t want any unwanted attention from the Emperors holy Inquistion.)

The ninth, the last planet in the system is an ice planet, roughly the size of the planet Mars. Originally it was supposed to be colonized, but all attempts were abandoned after several Mechanius shuttles vanished, along with any traces of them, or their crew. The planet is rumoured to be haunted by something over natural by the Imperial Citizens in the system.

(Additional information can be found in [Classified File: Inquisitorial Authority needed.])

Serpion5 12-07-10 06:52 AM

I like this so far, Doelago. You`ve quite effectively set up for a compelling story here without revealing too much too soon.

Doelago 12-07-10 10:39 AM


Originally Posted by Serpion5 (Post 809969)
I like this so far, Doelago. You`ve quite effectively set up for a compelling story here without revealing too much too soon.

Thanks! :victory:

Kai'n 12-07-10 04:11 PM

Whoa!!! I'd love to see the rest of the Rp keep it up!

Doelago 12-07-10 04:14 PM


Originally Posted by Kai'n (Post 810290)
Whoa!!! I'd love to see the rest of the Rp keep it up!

Thanks! If you want to follow the RP you can find it in the RP section of the forum! :victory:

Doelago 12-07-10 05:23 PM

+++Accessing File+++
+++Access denied+++
+++Inquisitorial Authority Needed+++
+++Access Granted+++
+++Searching for data+++
+++File located+++
+++Opening File D/18/Delta86#B+++
+++Have a good day+++

Two days ago the planetary governor of Boronis Alpha requested me to “interview” an “prisoner”. As my duty as an Commissar demanded, I took the job onto my shoulders and the next morning I was sent to Orbital Defence station…

+++System Malfunction, please stay calm and be patient+++
+++Restarting System+++
+++Thank you for your patience+++

17293/B “Boronis”. I was guided through the cramped dark corridors of the station, until after two hours, and several heavily armed guard stations later, we arrived to a reinforced steel door. The door was guarded by two gun servitors, both carrying a Heavy Bolter. My guide handed me a laspistol and told me that I had permission to execute the “prisoner” if he went mad. I remember looking at the pistol and thinking “What the heck have I signed up for?”. The doors opened and I walked into a smal, and dark room. At first the room looked empty, but as I entered the room the doors closed behind me, and a bright light turned on above me, and I noticed that I was not alone in the room. In front of me was a steel table, and behind it sat a man. But it was no normal man, if it even could be called man. It was an Astropath. An Astropath was easily recognised by the fact that they had no eyes. I have never been to learned in the ways of their creation, so I cant explain why. The psyker had his head down on the table, as if he was sleeping, and I don’t think that he even registered that I entered the room.

“Hello. I am Commissar Visla of the 7th planetary Defence force regiment.”

The psyker looked up at me, or at least his head did, but he could not see me, for he had no eyes. Or could he? You could never know for sure when you were dealing with psykers.

The psyker did not reply to what I said, and instead he started saying random words. “It… I… I… Have… It… Seen… Darkness… Why… You… Here?”

I understood the question.

“I am here to interview you.” I replied as calmly as I could.

“It is… It is coming closer… It… Is here to… to…” The psyker replied.

“What is coming closer?” I asked.

“I am not the… The only one… Others have seen it! I am not mad. I am not the only one!!” The psyker almost shouted as he said it, and fell of his chair in the process.

“Not mad” I thought, he was clearly mad. Insane would be a more proper word for the situation.

“Please, could you start by telling me your name.” I said.

“Why do…” The spyker paused, before replying “Avitus Cygnus.”

Good, now we will try take this slowly.” I said, before continuing “Could you tell me about this “thing” that is coming closer?”

“It is here… Not far away… It is watching… Listening… It knows… It knows that I tell you…”

“What knows?” I asked.

“I already told you, it knows…”

+++Cant retrieve data+++
+++Loading Failed+++
+++Resting server+++
+++File successfully loaded+++

I started to get frustrated with this madman.

“But who, or what, is this so called “it” that seems to know so much?” I asked and had to restrain myself from hitting a fist in the table.

“How many times do I have… You have not seen it… Have you? You have not started at it… You have not heard it talk… You have not seen the… The… Future… A future with no… No…” The psyker began shaking. “It knows! It talks to me!” The psyker screamed. I pulled my pistol and pointed it at the psykers head. I was about to fire when the door flew open and the two servitors walked into the room and quickly locked onto the psyker. They did not fire, but instead they grabbed the psyker with their free arm and dragged him screaming out of the room. Soon my guide came in. He told me that he knew nothing of what that madman had been trying to say, and after that he did not speak
+++Can not display data+++

###### ### ##### ##### ## ####? ### next day # was told that the ###### ### killed ######. That only proves that he is mad, ### ### ##### #### ##plain the ##### ## over three thousand astropath#? Was it a coincidence that so many killed themselves during a single night? I am not sure, but now I must stop writing, and return to my duty…

- Commissar Visla

+++Transmission Ended+++
+++Terminating Data+++

ThatOtherGuy 12-08-10 12:17 AM

Ok, so as you have asked, here is a little criticism that I have with this part.

I understood the plot of this little cut and I am deeply interested. Good job and keep at it. Don't worry about this critique, for I too fall for these mistakes once in a while.

Doelago 12-08-10 04:20 PM


Originally Posted by ThatOtherGuy (Post 810790)
Ok, so as you have asked, here is a little criticism that I have with this part.

I understood the plot of this little cut and I am deeply interested. Good job and keep at it. Don't worry about this critique, for I too fall for these mistakes once in a while.

Thanks for the comment! :ok: I will try to avoid to many mistakes like that in the next one...

ThatOtherGuy 12-08-10 04:43 PM

Its not really a mistake, just word order and flow. Its something that a lot of armature writers have a difficulty with (including myself).

waltzmelancholy_07 12-09-10 03:17 AM

Nice one Doelago... Rep for your style of storytelling...


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