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-   -   Heresy Quote Compilation. (https://www.heresy-online.net/forums/off-topic/62474-heresy-quote-compilation.html)

Viscount Vash 05-16-10 03:11 PM

Heresy Quote Compilation.
 
Jez was asking for content for the blog in the mod chat and it was suggested that we compile all those natty little quotes that quite often pop up in members and staffs sigs.

Heres the thread to dump them all.

Heres a few for starters.

Administrator Galahad on new staff members:
'Too bad we got rid of the brutal hazing rituals we had back when I joined the team. Few people know it, but the real reason ******** left was because he couldn't swallow enough live goldfish and Jagermeister.'

Member Blue Liger on Heresy site managment:
'Jezad's in your face interface is one of the defining features of the site I like it that way.'

Member Ordo Xeno Commander:
'Arguing on the internet is like the special olympics, even if you win, you're still retarded.'Possibly a no no.

Administrator Viscount Vash:
Saying 'There's no codex creep, you're just playing with outdated and poorly supported codices' is a bit like getting told by the doctor 'Good news, athough you chopped your hand of in a horrific Miniature modelling accident, we are working on a way of re attaching it. When? oh we don't know that yet, but we can keep it on ice til we get the tech to pop it back on.'

Admin Galahad (I'm Guessing on passive smoking?)
I don't care about secondhand smoke, it's firsthand EXPLOSIONS I'm wary about.

Site owner Jezlad.
Alessio is to 40k what impotence is to rape. Probably another no no

Commissar Ploss 05-16-10 05:47 PM

Jez's sig:
Armed Robber: "I wasn't here, give me the money now, buddy. I've got a fucking .38 in my pocket."
Galahad: "I just thought you were happy to see me. You do know you were on TV last week."


Admin Jigplums:
Jezlad "I actually commented that Jigplums list was the least scary list I faced. Then took a pasting"

The Wraithlord 05-16-10 05:56 PM

Sieg:
"Isn't this to big of a decision to flip a coin for?"
"Well a couple years down the road if i find out it was the wrong decision i would rather blame the coin then myself."

Inquisitor Varrius:
Camo is the color of cowardice but if the only ones to call you a coward are now a puddle of plasma there isnt a problem.

Unforgiven302 05-16-10 06:24 PM

Morfang:
Originally Posted by Red Orc
"Ahh, isn't Morfang sweet, like a great big 350-pound (that's 25 stone, UK users!) ball of cuddly death...?"

Dagmire:
"When it's game time, it's pain time baby!

Khorne's Fist:
Originally Posted by bitsandkits
"Im a big fan of nipples, a world with out nipples is not a world I want to live in!"
Originally Posted by Lord of Rebirth
"Build 'em, paint 'em then make pew pew sounds."

unpredictable chaos:
"They are not Space Bananas, they are Imperial Fists."

MaidenManiac:
Originally Posted by cccp
54. “Napalm sticks to kids” is *not* a motivational phrase.

Commissar Ploss 05-16-10 06:27 PM

Brother Jazzman:
"...remember the Golden Rule: Chill out, they're only plastic spacemen!" from Gal's sig.

The Wraithlord:
"Galahad is 100% correct in his explanation. Anyone who says otherwise to [him] is vastly mistaken." copied from Gal's sig. :)

Commissar Ploss 05-16-10 11:21 PM

Viscount Vash:
"pontification over a simple point is my special ability."

Viscount Vash 05-16-10 11:45 PM

Commissar Ploss
*kneels at foot of bed* Dear Emperor, please look after Viscount Vash. He's begun to slip lately, i think it might have something to do with the people he's been hanging out with. help him remember to take his medicine and bring him back to into your light. Amen

Baron Spikey 05-17-10 06:14 PM

Boc
'Somehow, I got married when my wife knew full well of my Star Wars AND Warhammer 40k obsessions...

Must be the roofies.'

Commissar Ploss 05-23-10 10:31 PM

deathbringer:
"I think sex metaphors just follow commissar ploss all day just looking for an opening."


CP

Child-of-the-Emperor 05-24-10 12:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bakunin (Post 628380)
As it was, the results of the campaign showed a slight chaos victory but not complete defeat of the Imperiums forces (I think the figure was 60/40 in favour of chaos). Neither side was able or willing to form an alliance with the Liberal Democrats and so basically they had fought each other to a stand still.

That one tickled me. :)

Boc 06-06-10 04:31 AM

CamTheApostle (in DeathJester's signature)
Remember kids: Violence isn't the answer, its the question. The answer is yes.

Azwraith 11-09-10 08:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Baron Spikey (Post 703221)
I wore my first dress about 15-16- no reason for it, I was just sat in the props room at school writing an essay and decided to try on the leopard print top and mini-skirt, even threw on a blonde wig, and I must admit the breeze to my gentlemen was a rare delight.

made me laugh more than any other post in the history of the internet

Chaosftw 11-09-10 02:46 PM

I really wish I could pull some old threads there was some good shot that came off these boards. I need to hunt through some threads.

Commissar Ploss 11-17-10 06:19 PM

Jezlad: Doctor says i've got lyme disease. He said if i stopped fucking sheep i might not get it again.

The Wraithlord: Man, those guys across the pond are into some weird shit, eh Ploss?

Commissar Ploss: lol very much so... Although, who am i to talk, i spend my time tied to a computer writing books and editing manuscripts. It's the equivalent to fucking sheep...

Jezlad: you wanna get yourself some velcro gloves mate, you ain't lived yet!

Jezlad 11-17-10 11:31 PM

Don't worry about me being being diagnosed with a life threatening illness ploss. Just glorify the banter! :laugh:

Commissar Ploss 11-18-10 04:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jezlad (Post 790567)
Don't worry about me being being diagnosed with a life threatening illness ploss. Just glorify the banter! :laugh:

yer damn right, boss! besides, you're a strapping young lad, you'll pull through. :)

CP

Commissar Ploss 01-13-11 06:22 PM

King of Cheese: I think i might have bruxism fairly bad. :(

Jezlad: I found out I had that working as a rentboy in Leeds.

Doelago 01-24-11 01:55 PM

Baron Spikey: this is Heresy-Online not fucking eHarmony.

Djinn24 01-24-11 04:57 PM

Notable Quotables
Jezlad: i prefer donkey cock...

hells_fury: I'm part of the popular group (thats the nerds, we rule the school with an iron fist)

[djinn24] jez, jiz, its all the same!
[Icedrake25] depends on how salty jez is before we compare the two
[HorusReborn] I'm just checkin on it now!
[HorusReborn] brb
[Concrete Hero] Checking how salty jez is?

[The Son of Horus] I figured it was a game that one played with their vagina, rather than a fingerbang exercise.


Quote:

Originally Posted by Firefighter X (Post 843488)
Me and a couple friends showed them our version of hospitality.. We bought HUGE super soaker water guns and pissed in the water tank and shot the Westboro fuckers with the pissguns.


The Son of Horus 01-24-11 05:36 PM

That one from me seems wildly out of context-- I actually have no idea what prompted me to say something like that.

Also... of all the horrible things that I say (or type, rather), that's the one that made the quote thread? Clearly, you have not been paying enough attention, Djinn. :p

Bane_of_Kings 01-24-11 06:53 PM

KingOfCheese: Telling a chick that you are going to Power Fist her Pink Horror can have some positive outcomes.

Bane of Kings Out.

Baron Spikey 01-24-11 07:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Doelago (Post 856400)
Baron Spikey: this is Heresy-Online not fucking eHarmony.

For 2 years I tried to come up with a sentence or 2 that was quote worthy, then I get drunk and start posting shit *BAM* I'm quoted about a half dozen times :shok:

Doelago 01-24-11 07:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Baron Spikey (Post 856711)
For 2 years I tried to come up with a sentence or 2 that was quote worthy, then I get drunk and start posting shit *BAM* I'm quoted about a half dozen times :shok:

:laugh: Maybe you are more... Creative, (No offence intended) when you are drunk?

Djinn24 01-24-11 10:26 PM

You know Horus, I have been trying to figure out WTF we were talking about as well. I am pretty sure it was one random night in the chat room, if I saved it to my quote thingy in my user CP then it must have been hilarious at the time, but I have no idea what the lead up is.

At least you can get quoted, I would like to think I am witty, yet I can never get quoted for anything. Sigh.

Maybe I need to get pissed off one day and tell someone to ram their paintbrush up their ass, as it would improve their skills.

Vaz 02-01-11 06:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by djinn24 (Post 856928)
ram their paintbrush up their ass, as it would improve their skills.

I chuckled.



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Midge913 02-01-11 06:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by djinn24 (Post 856928)
Maybe I need to get pissed off one day and tell someone to ram their paintbrush up their ass, as it would improve their skills.

I also got a good laugh out of this. Definitely quote worthy:laugh:

Commissar Ploss 03-02-11 02:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grins1878 (Post 894969)
Fuck you Ticketmaster. Fuck you right in the ass.

i lol'd

CP

Khorne's Fist 03-05-11 04:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bitsandkits (Post 898933)
He's a fraud then, he should be burned as a Witch and flayed like the donkey lover he is, and he should be told off by his mother in front of his school friends.

Laughed so hard a little bit of pee came out.

Viscount Vash 03-30-11 09:29 AM

Classic Jez in the Special Thanks thread in off topic.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jezlad (Post 922814)
I'd like to thank all the cunts that own/run the other forums.

Their retardation gave me the motivation to create Heresy.

I salute you all and next time I take a shit I'll say a little prayer - pricks.


I will have to thank them as well then. :laugh:

WarlordKaptainGrishnak 03-30-11 10:57 AM

This one is from ages ago, involved one of my first posts on Heresy :P

One the subject of the models available to Chaos Space Marines:

Quote:

The Wraithlord: I must beg to differ on that. Chaos has the coolest models. I said so, therefore it is true.

WarlordKaptainGrishnak
: oh yes for sure...the cream on the cake is the Space Marine-killing-Space Marine-that-will-explode-in-a-ginourmous-gout-of-blood-and-gore-into-some-Daemonic-entity-to-destroy-all...

*hhmhhm* (clears throat) what...of course I'm loyal (shifty eyes, begins to back towards doorway)
Grish

Doelago 03-30-11 06:27 PM

Quote:

Flerden: It's Reever, he seems to have enough patience to share to the rest of Heresy xD
Flerden in reply to me complaining about how crap my GMing was in my first RP, and darkreever writing those insanely long posts.

ckcrawford 03-31-11 03:45 AM

lol our debates with Glee (A fun guy to debate mind you)are pretty funny. I could probably seriously have an 100 post thread with all the posts we have just debating in circles.

ckcrawford 03-31-11 10:54 PM

I'd like to put a few quotes down from Luxs' return. But I have a question.

Is this guy a troll? I seriously think he's fucking with people. But I just can't tell. He certainly writes well, he just doesn't make any fricken sense.

Doelago 04-01-11 01:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ckcrawford (Post 924714)
Is this guy a troll? I seriously think he's fucking with people. But I just can't tell. He certainly writes well, he just doesn't make any fricken sense.

I just think that he has a very (VERY) different way of thinking, and a big (FUCKING HUGE!) imagination. Ouh, and a lot of spare time.

Bayonet 04-01-11 01:32 PM

Hm, spare time. I remember that fondly...

Boc 04-01-11 03:07 PM

If only I was allowed to repost my "Answers to Questions about Lux" thread... such a piece of art! And completely worth the 40 penalty points that just dropped off my account haha

ckcrawford 04-01-11 10:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Boc (Post 925377)
If only I was allowed to repost my "Answers to Questions about Lux" thread... such a piece of art! And completely worth the 40 penalty points that just dropped off my account haha

Wait you really had one?

Shogun_Nate 04-02-11 02:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jezlad
Also, when did this become a democracy?

This had me rolling this morning :biggrin:

Boc 04-03-11 01:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ckcrawford (Post 925802)
Wait you really had one?

It lasted for about 8 hours, but yeah. I just wish that I'd saved a word document of it haha

Azkaellon 04-04-11 06:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ckcrawford (Post 924714)
I'd like to put a few quotes down from Luxs' return. But I have a question.

Is this guy a troll? I seriously think he's fucking with people. But I just can't tell. He certainly writes well, he just doesn't make any fricken sense.

Drugs can do that shit to people.


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