A Day in the Life of a Guardsman
Be sure that you capitalize nouns within your title.
Sequestered by Departmento Munitorum:
Casualties reduced and evacuation times improved as part of recruitment drive:
Hours and its time to get up.
I would Bold and separate the time-slots from the main work. This makes it look like an actual time-stamp without making it part of the sentence.
Dragging the rest of the squad out of their sleeping systems I start sorting my kit out. I make sure all my kit is in order and ready for our hunting patrol. I confirm I have all my ammo and plenty of drinking water, two of the most vital items in this hell hole.
Sleeping systems? I don't believe IG have such luxuries. It's war after all. They most likely lie down whenever they get such a chance.
My squad is ready to move out. (Period, not a comma. Don't need a run-on.)
We lead the way to the objective area in pitch black. The green circle of my night vision goggles is the only reason I can see the trooper in front of me. Its and odd feeling moving silently through the ruined building of this once prosperous world. The only sound was
the occasional bark of a dog or the crackle of my vox unit. As the sun rises we reach our
objective area. Going firm we await orders to begin our search of the target compounds and ruins for signs of the Ork invaders.
A few hours later, as I am wading through a shallow river of cooling water, we get the word. (Personally I don't like using exclamation marks [!] within regular sentences, especially within the 40k universe. I feel a period gives a better sense of urgency -- But that's just me.)
Orks are in the area. (Be sure to keep this sentence seperated from the others. It implies that this is important, which of course it is.)
One of the other platoons moves into the ruins of a town hall as we begin to move forwards, scouting for the ork’s encampment.
Although we have yet to see them we are aware of their presents. We can hear bellows and shouting coming from our front
“Cpl Grundar, your section is taking
point.” Came the voice over his vox.
The words I have been dreading to hear.
So off we go again looking for a fight. (There isn't really a point to this sentence. We already know they are looking for the enemy, no need to restate it.)
Minutes later we find one. Having seen what I believe to be enemy movement I get my squad into cover, forming a fire base from which to engage the green skin bastards. I activate my vox unit to call in mortars.
"This is Gundar," I breathed into the vox, "--In need of suppressive mortar support." I wait several seconds. My only replay is the constant hiss of static.
Surprise. Just when you need it comms goes down.
I start passing information down the squad using the hand gestures taught to us in basic training. Hopefully one of the new guys doesn’t mess the signal up.
Before our mortars can be brought to bear
If you have mortars than what was the point of calling for them..?
we are spotted and engaged, luck for me my section has deployed the heavy bolter. As the orks begin their charge across the open ground my squad engages them with rapid lasgun fire and the heavy slugs of the bolter. Our withering fire power quickly cuts down the first wave; thank the throne it’s only a small raiding party.
My second in command takes over controlling the rate of fire as I move to the Platoon HQ to brief the boss on the enemy’s location. It’s not long before mortars and heavy artillery are raining down and the ork encampment is destroyed before they can mount a counter attack. Further up the line some one has been hit by shrapnel.
I'm confused. A Platoon HQ right at the front lines? Or did Gundar somehow backtrack to base in that short amount of time? Also, this battle is fairly short, especially within 40k. Try something like this.
The Orks continued their onslaught, even as our weaponry bore into them. Blackened xenox blood wet the ground beneath them as they trampled their dead in pursuit of their bloodlust. I squeezed the trigger again. The head of the front-most greenskin exploded into a green mist. Its body toppled forward.
Small personal victory, but nothing to smile about. Not yet. There were over a dozen more -- and they were nearly upon us.
I could see the panic starting well within my men. "Keep firing!" I urge them, "The God-Emperor is with you!"
I do not know the extent of truth within my words, especially on such a dead world, but it seems to hold their resolve. They continue to fire at will, cutting down several more of the enemy in the process. Suddenly I heard a scream.
Far down the line a guardsmen was being hoisted into the air by a monstrous brute. It tore the man at the waist, gore splashing against the men surrounding it. It shoved another guard out of the way, his body like a frail doll as it slammed into a nearby wall. The creature let out a bestial warcry.
I was about to withdraw my men when the sporadic fighting ceased. The Orks craned their necks towards the sky, their bloodlust seeming to evaporate instantly.
"What in the name of--" I started to say before my vox began to crackle.
"Corporal Grundar -- Your request for suppressive fire has been acknowledged."
Now it was time to smile.
Using our scouts as a cover group we begin to evacuate the casualty to a pick up point. A medi chimera rolls in and the wounded guardsman is sped off back toward our main operating base.
Back at out patrol base I ensure all my guys are ok and that they haven’t left any trail (these orks can get sneaky at times)
Orks are dumb. They can be clever at time, but they are dumb. Instead of following a trail I'm sure they would rather run in a single direction yelling WAAAGH! at the top of their lungs and kill anything they come across.
An hour or so later after a vox debriefing from company command I sit down with the rest of my lads and get a cup of re-caff down my neck.
Tails of heroism are already being told as we begin to relax.
I think about how it could have all gone wrong and about how lucky we are. In less then a day we are back out hunting yet another party of orks, trying to gain a foot hold so that our main assault can land.
What a job
Cpl Grundar, Rapid air assault, 102nd Belerphoneian guard.
Ok guys this is a little story I wrote a while back (before our fiction section picked up)
I used my time in Afganistan as .
Let me know what you think as I am sure you will all know I am not local to the fiction boards