The Ancient One's Fields (Very Short Story)
“Look at them… sniveling about their poor race and all that they have lost… Just pathetic…”
“I agree Alfred. These Eldar are more pathetic than the humans… All they do is blame their problems on everyone else besides them. So immature…”
“And who do they think they are when it came to ruling the stars? Have they not remembered our reign, billions of years before we ever conceived of them, Jenkins? Have they not remembered our divine rule and that we founded their society? Neigh, they do not, for they are nothing more than worms.”
Jenkins and Alfred continued to watch the Eldar coming out of the webway on their safe ledge above the brush, hidden just right so that none could see them from below.
“You know, I’ve always wondered why they needed to dress differently for the weapons they carry. To me it seems absolutely pointless.” Alfred commented harshly as he watched several banshees idling.
“Its just their silly nature and part of their childish mythologies. Let them play dress up and have fun, for eventually they shall perish into oblivion and… oh look, here comes the inspirational speech!”
The two of them tuned their ears and eyes on the farseer below, who apparently was rallying up the entire host for one last speech. They heard her speak of destroying the mon-keigh and removing the enemy off the face of the earth, claiming that it was their birth right that they should own this planet and that humanity should be destroyed. But while she delivered her pretentious inspirational speech, Jenkins and Alfred could barely contain themselves over this.
“Isn’t that just adorable! Those little creatures are so cute when they try to act all grown up! Oh its these little moments that I now do realize why we created the Eldar… entertainment.” Jenkins chuckled.
“I dare say they act even goofier when they prepare for war. Riling up stories of their past war heroes and gods just makes them look like they’re on some sort of hallucinating drug.” Alfred laughed along.
“At least when the humans do it they don’t dress up like childish clowns.”
“Jenkins… The Eldar are the clowns.”
As they calmed themselves down once more, they brought their attention back to the Eldar below. They saw that the farseer finished her speech and had her entire war host invigorated with energy, ready to strike their target with ancient fury. With that, they began to move north out of the thick woods, moving without making a sound. However, this brought great concern for both Jenkins and Alfred.
“What!? I thought they were going to go strike the east camp as they said, not somewhere in the north!”
Jenkins sat up and looked at Alfred with equal concern.
“So what are we going to do?! If they meet resistance up in the north they might cause serious damage to the fields! We cannot let this happen!”
Alfred sat up and calmed himself down “Don’t worry Jenkins... I have a second plan. Since they won't engage the east camp of the humans, then we will have to bring the humans to them... Let us move, lest our sacred fields be destroyed!”
Alfred sprinted off after the Eldar war party, with Jenkins tagging only a foot behind. Once they caught up to the war party in the thick of the woods, the two of them hid in the dense brush out of their sight. Alfred tuned in and heard them going over their plans again, leaving the two a small amount of time to act before they moved again. Alfred looked at Jenkins and nodded. Upon seeing that, Jenkins pulled out a small metal object from his back and handed it to Alfred. With a might hurl, Alfred threw the metal object into the middle of the war host, landing ever so softly so not to be heard. Once hitting the earth, the sides of the object extended out and flipped open, revealing a blinking blue light.
“And they shall be here in about…. On minute… Lets move.” Alfred whispered.
The two of them sprinted out of the scene and headed north. But within one minute of their escape, the sounds of thunder roared into their ears, shortly followed by a massive shaking of the earth. Jenkins paused and looked back up in the sky, watching several drop pods crash down to where they once hid.
“Just let the idiotic ‘astartes’ and silly eldar duke it out…” Alfred spoke. "Both of them are a good distance away from our fields so we are good for now."
They continued to flee from the skirmish zone until they broke out of the woods, thus entering the fields that they had concern for. As the sounds of bloody hell echoed out of the woods, Alfred and Jenkins casually walked through the fields onto a dirt path, relieved that their dilemma was solved.
“Well that’s taken care of…” Alfred said with relief.
“That was too close if you ask me… The last thing we want is our fields soiled by the feet of the worthless.”
“I agree Jenkins, another precious commodity for our race is once again saved from the destruction of those mammals… Now then, I will see you later good friend. Ms. Cornwell is about to serve dinner and I believe that I overheard her say something about salmon tonight!” Alfred smiled as he licked his lips.
“Well take care as well… I’m just going to hunt some mice tonight and cuddle up with the Cindy... Maybe I'll even let her scratch my tummy...”
And with that the two cats parted off, relieved that their precious fields of catnip were once again safe from the filthy hands of the Eldar and Humans.