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post #1 of 17 (permalink) Old 06-24-11, 08:32 PM Thread Starter
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Default Who Am I? (Loyal To The End)

(been a while since i posted anything here. lol Should probably start doing that more often. lol Here's a poem for y'all.)

WHO AM I? (LOYAL TO THE END)


Who am i? They often tell me

i stepped from my cell's confinement

Calmly, cheerfully, firmly

like a squire from his country-house

Who am i? they often tell me i used to speak to my wardens

Freely and friendly and clearly,

As though it were mine to command.

Who am i? they also tell me

i bore the days of misfortune

Equally, smilingly, proudly



Am i then really all that which other men tell of?

Or am i only what i myself know of myself?

restless and longing and sick, like a bird in a cage,

Struggling for breath, as though hands were

compressing my throat,

Yearning for colors, for flowers, for the voices of birds,

thirsting for words of kindness, for neighborliness,

tossing in expectations of great events,

powerlessly trembling for friends at an infinite distance,

weary and empty at praying, at thinking, at making,

faint, and ready to say farewell to it all?



Who am i? This or the other?

Am i one person today and tomorrow another?

Am i both at once? A hypocrite before others,

and before myself a contemptibly woebegone weakling?

or is something within me still like a beaten army,

fleeing in disorder from victory already achieved?

Who am I? they mock me, these lonely questions of mine.

Whoever i am, Thou knowest, O God-Emperor, I am Thine!

~Anonymous

The Founding Fields


Last edited by Commissar Ploss; 06-24-11 at 09:49 PM.
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post #2 of 17 (permalink) Old 06-24-11, 08:42 PM
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Who am i? they often tell me used to speak to my wardens
Sorry to be a dick, but I found a typo.

Other than that, good piece of work. Its nice to see something different once in a while, quite refreshing if you ask me.

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post #3 of 17 (permalink) Old 06-24-11, 08:59 PM Thread Starter
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Sorry to be a dick, but I found a typo.

Other than that, good piece of work. Its nice to see something different once in a while, quite refreshing if you ask me.
lol thanks dick. I just forgot to put a space in there. cheers. Glad you like it at least.

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post #4 of 17 (permalink) Old 06-24-11, 09:28 PM
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I found another typo....in the first line. shouldn't it be "they"??? and not the???
(I love my own punctuation here... >.<)

But other than that, good piece.

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post #5 of 17 (permalink) Old 06-24-11, 09:50 PM Thread Starter
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lol aren't you all nitpicky today! geez!

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post #6 of 17 (permalink) Old 06-24-11, 10:22 PM
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If your writing this on note pad, then some is forgiven. If you are writing this on microsoft word, then you should be ashamed of yourself.

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post #7 of 17 (permalink) Old 06-24-11, 10:41 PM
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lol aren't you all nitpicky today! geez!

CP
Must I mention that all "i"'s need to capitalized?


If someone lacks intelligence, than he is not stupid, because one cannot be stupid without intelligence.

If someone reverts to having to complain about your grammar, then you already won.
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post #8 of 17 (permalink) Old 06-24-11, 11:28 PM
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Using a capital I depends on the style the author wants to use though, if you're going for "oh i'm so subserviant to the Emperor" think regular lower case i's okay. But spelling and grammar mistakes should not be present unless the whole thing reads like it's supposed to be in a different grammar style. Spelling is just...yeah...spellcheck, that's all I can say.

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post #9 of 17 (permalink) Old 06-25-11, 03:32 AM
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As with arumichic, I assumed that the lowercase 'i's were simply the sense of insignificance the narrator had before giving himself to the Emperor, but I'm by no means aaaany good with poetry so I could be wrong.

I did catch myself trying to apply the poem to the song Who Am I? from Les Miserables, and failed haha.


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post #10 of 17 (permalink) Old 06-25-11, 03:35 AM Thread Starter
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If your writing this on note pad, then some is forgiven. If you are writing this on microsoft word, then you should be ashamed of yourself.
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Originally Posted by DestroyerHive View Post
Must I mention that all "i"'s need to capitalized?
Quote:
Originally Posted by arumichic View Post
Using a capital I depends on the style the author wants to use though, if you're going for "oh i'm so subserviant to the Emperor" think regular lower case i's okay. But spelling and grammar mistakes should not be present unless the whole thing reads like it's supposed to be in a different grammar style. Spelling is just...yeah...spellcheck, that's all I can say.
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Originally Posted by Boc View Post
As with arumichic, I assumed that the lowercase 'i's were simply the sense of insignificance the narrator had before giving himself to the Emperor, but I'm by no means aaaany good with poetry so I could be wrong.

I did catch myself trying to apply the poem to the song Who Am I? from Les Miserables, and failed haha.
to be quite honest. I didn't care enough to capitalize the I's. I was just flowing in the moment. But i like your rationalizations better.

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