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post #1 of 4 (permalink) Old 05-28-11, 04:57 AM Thread Starter
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Default The Mad Architect

This is based off a character of my fan fluff and inspired by a song.

The Mad Architect

I found myself upon a cold floor
White marble it was
Smooth and polished by a master’s hand
But still it bore the heat of nothing
I stood up
Finding myself in this elegant room
Built with a marble floor
Enclosed with black granite walls
And I found myself alone in this room
But my sense of direction was not gone
In front of me stood a door
Built of gold and silver
I could not resist
It called me
So I opened the door
And crossed the threshold
And found it lead to a hall
Built like the room
Black and white marble
I could see at the end of the hall
An open window
Which hauntingly called my name
I followed its call and came
And looked out
But to my mortal mind I was surprised
The window did not show me the light of day
Nor a floor of earth
No
It was nothing but the blackness of space
Painted with stars and suns
But I trembled when I looked down
For there was no ground
Just the blackness and stars
Now I know
That this is not reality
But my senses tell otherwise
Am I in a dream?
Where am I?
Can someone tell me where I am?
Just as I am about to fall
I hear a strange noise down the hall
The door I opened
Is now closed
Though inanimate and lifeless
The door it laughing at me
Calling me
Where to go
In this mad place?
I go back down to the door
And pull it with my strength
But I see its not the same room
But a stair case
Suspending in the blackness
Should I go up?
Or stay behind?
But something calls me
Something evil and terrible
But I comply
I climb those marble stairs
Over the vastness of space
I climb until I cannot go any farther
But when I felt I spent my life
I reach the top
A marble platform
Large enough for thirty men
Like before
Suspending above the cosmos
In the middle
Was a golden arcane crest
A giant eye
Of insanity and power
I go to see the eye
And find it looking at me
I wanted to scream so badly
But I felt it chocking me
But my fear was not over
I looked upon a man in black
His face was an empty darkness
A loathing abyss
He extended his hand
Asking me to follow
I asked him who he was
And he replied
“I am the Mad Architect”
I don’t know why
I didn’t want to go
But I took his hand and followed
He summoned another stair case of marble
And we began our ascent
Time was not here anymore
For the period we traveled felt like an eternity
But we made it to the top eventually
It was a dark and eerie place
A place that was meant to be forgotten
But the place was not empty
He showed me through the darkness
To a well of power
Which screamed with the ebbs of time
I looked in the well
I looked into the heart of the soul
And saw before me visions of life
Of then, now and what is to come
But these were all horrible
Nothing but terror
I wanted to scream and run
I wanted to wake up
I wanted to leave this place
But He grabbed me and laughed
And told me
“This is reality… It’s just not where you once were.”
He laughed again
But this time with malevolence
I wanted out
I cried for my savior
Oh Emperor help me!
But he just continued to laugh
I felt like it was a thousand years before my fall
He grabbed me
And took me back to that arcane crest
He led me down those stairs
As I kicked and screamed
He led me back into the room
And tossed me like a rock
Into that white and black cell
I wailed for help and salvation
But once the door locked
I knew I was doomed
But I could hear the Mad Architect
Still laughing
Laughing
Laughing at this damnation
Damnation
Oh curse you Mad Architect!
Curse you Uggae!
Curse you and this Arcane Sanctuary!
Curse you…
For I now cannot die...
Forever to rot here for eternity...
Curse you...

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post #2 of 4 (permalink) Old 05-29-11, 01:04 AM
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Default Not what i am used to.

Okay, The story is interesting but has something to be desired. Not many of us are used to poetry in the W.H. universe, however it is excepted if it is good. This work was not that good, but could be better. There needs to be punctuation of some type. The spaceing is good, the story was easy enough to read, but for the lack of the dreaded P word. The story was scary enough , but the poetry ran along the Jack ran up the hill, jack fell down the hill type of simplicity to it. I do sure hope that someone comes and helps that poor soul. Don't stop writing and keep a stiff upper lip, Mate.

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post #3 of 4 (permalink) Old 05-29-11, 01:54 AM Thread Starter
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Default

This was just complete experimentation and wrote it in about twenty minutes. Its not exactly a poem but more of abstract writing.

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post #4 of 4 (permalink) Old 05-29-11, 05:59 AM
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Default In that case...

In that case, not too bad for twenty minutes. I wish I could stream like that.

A good reputation take a long time to build, but only a moment to destroy. Wow, that's deep! Check out the H.O.E.S. short story competition.
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