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post #1 of 2 (permalink) Old 05-19-11, 06:27 AM Thread Starter
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Default The Journal of Captain Artur Torsten.

This is the journal of Artur Torsten, found twenty days after he and his army were decimated by the forces of chaos in the province of Östermark.

Day One: I will do my best to lead my men to glory, for Sigmar.

Day Thirty: I am having these odd dreams I see my men fighting in this town, they are dying, and an odd man keeps running up to me and saying, from what I can tell: "Wo sind die Kinder?" What does it mean, what is he doing?

Day Fifty: The dreams are getting worse, I see my men slaughtered by tall solders wearing blue and gold armour, but that man keeps coming up to me and saying "Wo sind die Kinder?"

Day Eighty: The dreams are even worse now, my men are slaughtered, the man is still saying that phrase, but this time more is after that, he says: "Nichts Gutes liegt verborgen." and then I see him; the man responsible for my men's deaths, I wake up before I can make out anything special about him, but I know he's the one who's causing this.

Day Ninety: We arrived at a town that looks a lot like the one in my dream, this place give chills down my spine.

Day One hundred and seven: (the page along with many of the pages afterwards are nothing but insane rambling and scribblings.)

Day One hundred and eight: I will do my best to lead my men to glory, for Sigmar. I will do my best to lead my men to glory, for Sigmar. I will do my best to lead my men to glory, for Sigmar. I will do my best to lead my men to glory, for Sigmar. I will do my best to lead my men to glory, for Sigmar. (The rest of the page is smeared with blood.)

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<DarkAngel> Broguts I will slay you.
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post #2 of 2 (permalink) Old 09-06-11, 04:02 AM
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Default Hi

Short story should have been longer. There is soooo much you can do with this. The writing is good, but again, there is soooo much more you could do. This piece screams for more.

A good reputation take a long time to build, but only a moment to destroy. Wow, that's deep! Check out the H.O.E.S. short story competition.
Other stories from Adrian.
Look up Adrian in the "Compendium" to find them. Thanks
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