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post #1 of 12 (permalink) Old 03-22-11, 04:05 AM Thread Starter
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Default Armored Furry: A Story of Vengeance

Ok, my third sotry, this one just hit me lick a brick. please leave feed back, this is just the start



Armored Vengeance


Marcus Gravadovich sat back on his hover-tractor as it harvested the wheat below him in his field. He stared at the beautiful sky above him, felt the cool breeze as it flowed across his face; the sweet smell filling his nostrils. He heard the hum of the machinery below him as it churned out the wheat into clumped packages and dumping them unceremoniously into the truck driving opposite of him. Yes, today was a good day to be alive and he prayed to the Emperor that it would remain so.

He turned over to the truck hollering to his field hand. “Hey Mike, that good enough for today, cut it and head in.” his field hand waved, and turned the truck off towards the farmstead off in the distance as he shut down the mechanisms that grinded the wheat and put the machine on an autopilot course for the farm stead. He blessed the machinery, in hopes that the holy Omissah would watch over it, and return it safely to its berth in his barn.

He jogged over to his tarrak (a breed of Tallarn horse, only larger) and galloped to where his herd was huddled; work them back toward the barn over the next two hours. Finally, having gotten them into their corral, Marcus walked into his house where he was greeted by his son and daughter, grabbing them both and lifting them into the air. Kissing them both, he moved over to his lovely wife, kissing her and then sampling her fine cooking.

“Delicious as always dear, now give me some more of that loving.” Giving her another kiss, he called in his field hand together they sat down and ate dinner with the family. Afterwards they got the children into bed, giving prayers to the Emperor for their good life, and finally settling into bed.

As he sat there he looked at his wife as she dressed for bed, realizing what a luck man he was. Only 20 years ago he was in a war torn battlefield fighting for survival amid the tower giants that did battle. Now he was a retired warrior, living a simple life at 42; something few men in this wretched galaxy ever find. As his wife entered the bed, he drifted off to sleep with her in his arms………………

A loud noise woke him from his sleep; he looked around for its source and found none. He got up out of the bed and moved to the window, looking out for any possible predators that could be preying on his animals. Nothing seemed weird except that his tarraks were whining abnormally. Strapping on his pistol, he grabbed his hunting rifle and quietly went outside to the corral, inspecting the area carefully as he proceeded. Reach the fence, he jumped over and approached the nearest tarrack.

“Wooaaahh, boy, steady. What wrong?” He calmed the horse down, which caused the other horse to stop whining a little as he soothed the horse with his voice.

Suddenly he heard a large crack above him and he looked up into what he could only describe as a nightmare. The sky was filled with massive flashes and lights that lit it up like it was mid-day. The sky made noises that Marcus recognized as orbital fire from space, and the snap of massive explosions as they tore it asunder. Fear ran through his veins, and before he knew it he was running back to the house at a dead sprint, launching himself up the stairs and into his wife’s room.

“Honey, wake the kids, get them ready fast, and bring some food!” Not waiting to see if she answered he ran back downstairs and woke Mike who was sound asleep. Waiting till he came too, he ordered him to ready the truck, again not waiting for an answer. He ran back to the corral, opening the gate and shooing them off into the field and away from the house. Hopefully he would return for them, but it seemed unlikely. As he did his wife came running out to him, handing him a basket of food and asking what was all the fuss about. Without answering he pointed up to the sky and showed her what was transpiring above.

“It would seem that my past has caught up with me once more Ariel, now get the kids and………” He never got the chance to finish, as a massive object hurtled from space and smashed into the house behind them, throwing them into the fields and covering them with dust and debris. More thunderous noises and the ground shook beneath them as Marcus grabbed his wife and covered her from the deadly fragments as they pelted his aged body. He kept praying to the Emperor for it to stop, for this madness to go away; for it all to be a dream.

As the shaking and noise subsided he rolled off his wife and slowly pushed himself up on his knees. As he did, his mind first registered, and then showed him the massive debris that had crushed his house and barn as well.

“NNOOOOOOO, he roared as he launched himself up with unknown energy and sprinted to the house. As he neared, the heat from the flames singed him as he search around the corners, praying that his children were ok, that the cruel fate hadn’t befallen them. It wasn’t meant to be as he ran around the back of the remaining barn and saw the three corpses burning in front of him. He fell to his knees, tears streaming down his face, his heart close to burst, his mind numb from the reality in front of him. He children had perished, as had his best friend, a man that survived countless battles with him only to suffer a cruel fate at the hands of indirect fire from a space battle. He heard no he felt his wife collapse next to him in tears, crying out into the night, cursing the Emperor for allowing such an evil thing to befall such innocent children, not even of 10 years. Yet Marcus couldn’t bring himself to curse, or break down, or mourn that which was obviously lost to him forever. His curse followed him even now, and he could do nothing, but stare at that which had so dearly loved, but no had lost to a cruel twist of fate.

Suddenly behind them, the massive debris popped and hissed opened; the door falling off to the side. Shadows emerged from its interior, all hunched over and bent in nasty forms that barely looked human. They wielded serrated weapons with crude markings that hurt his mind, and growled an unintelligent language that sounded more like the green skins that any human language. Despite all this, Marcus still recognized the signs of Chaos, and their wretched kind; even though his mind denied it.

As the figures emerged, they approached him, cackling with glee at their apparent first kill being so easy. One approached him and in a raspy voice demanded, “What’s your name, that I might mark you and your soul for the glory of the Gods.” Cackling, the man kicked his wife into the ground, and put his pistol over her head, preparing to take her life.

Marcus just snapped, whipping out his pistol in one fluid, practiced movement and taking the man’s head from his shoulder. Before it had even fallen, he grabbed the gun and turned in a circle, firing non-stop into the daemonic men into front of him; screaming obscenities. Rounds pinged back in response and he dove left, the rolled forward and shot another through the head, before turning to kill another shadow that was looming behind him.

Only it wasn’t a man, as Marcus pulled the trigger, the rounds bounced harmlessly off cermite armor and pinged back, ricocheting off Marcus’s shoulder. He looked up into the face of an Astarte’s, or what was only once. The warrior was wearing a massive armor suit, with a fist that cracked with energy and a massive pistol in his left hand. It smiled as it kicked him and sent him flying; laughing at his weakness. As Marcus got up, he saw the giant grab his wife, who looked to him desperately for help.

SNAP, and she crumbled down, dead; her spine snapped clean in half. “Damn you, Marcus roared and launched him at the giant, intent on slaughtering him. He was tossed aside as the giant punched him in mid-air and then crushed his left leg as he fell to the ground. Marcus gasped as pain shot up his body, threatening to tear out his sanity and destroy him then and there. The giant tilted its head, seemingly curious at such a feisty human, but put its bolter to Marcus’s head as it said, “Any last words?” Closing his eyes, Marcus prepared to meet his maker.

Suddenly bolter fire tore into the giant, and a loud humming noise announced the arrival of vehicles from the forest. The giant roared as more round tore into it, some leaving visible wounds in its armor; and it ordered a retreat away from the burning landing craft. Marcus watched as they retreated, then looked over to the grey vehicles, a blurry figure dismounting and rushing to his side. The he passed out



"Walk Softely, and Carry a Big Gun!"

Last edited by emporershand89; 03-24-11 at 01:21 AM.
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post #2 of 12 (permalink) Old 03-22-11, 05:45 AM
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I like how the beginning is calm and it kind of surprised at the end of this first part. When you add more though, I'd save some of that.
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post #3 of 12 (permalink) Old 03-22-11, 11:11 PM Thread Starter
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Default Chapter 1

Chapter 1: The Outfit


Marcus walked out of his tent and towards where his command vehicle was parked near the HQ. He had just come from an intense meeting with the Tallarn Imperial Guard sector commander, who was advocating a general push to drive the Chaos away from the main cities and into the open farms where there armor could superiorly best them in 1-1 combat. While the plan was sound to Marcus, he didn’t give a damn about what the High Command told him to do as long as he was killing the enemy. As his vehicle lurched forward the Hydra tank fell into line behind it, and the pair rolled out of the compound and down an avenue of Gundalia. It was here in this city that the Imperial had made there base and were intent on standing their ground; even if it meant sacrificing everyone to the last.

Marcus knew he would fight, and fight well as he had before, but this time he was also on his personal mission. As his Salamander rolled to a stop he hopped over the side and briskly walked into the communications tent of his companies FOB. Inside, a Lance corporal looked up at him as he approached; coming to attention and handing a slab towards him.

“Sir, here is the information you requested; I have it summarized on the pad.” Marcus scanned the pad quickly, grunting at the fact it didn’t give him a clear picture of what he search for, but glad to have a head start. As he turned around to leave, the Corporal grabbed his shoulder, “Sir, it’s not my place, but you should know that the information that you wanted was highly classified, some of it even Vermillion status and therefore far out of my reach. Good luck sir.” With a quick salute that Marcus returns the corporal turned back to his station and Marcus march out and once again bordered the Salamander.

“Driver, take us around the units, I want to see what we’ve got; green horns I mean.” The driver chuckled a little, then turned the vehicle around and proceeded to circle the camp through the back roads that had been created by the massive vehicle travel on them.

He first passed the Death Dealers, lead by Isaiah Decon, a MBT (Main Battle Tank) unit that held the only Conqueror pattern Leman Russ. A young commander, this one might be trouble, he thought, but he will make an excellent sword to wield in the face of massive odds should it come to that. He would make good use of them before this war of over.

Parked right next to them was the reconnaissance unit under the quiet but experienced Ghent Sojourn. A quiet man, he lead more by example than actual command, and his men respected him greatly. A veteran of previous wars like Marcus, he could relate to the man, though even Marcus was cautious about trying to get to know the man better; for it might backfire.

A little further down he found his heavy unit, his awesome Bane Blade force that was hunkered down in the units interior garage ongoing some modifications. Geraint Krom was another good man under his command, having fought the orks in numerous engagements and earned himself a Golden Aquila medal for valor. He would keep these massive bad boys on the line and ready; of that Marcus had no doubt.

As they passed the garage Marcus had them charge direction and move to the Company briefing room where he had all his aid notify all commanders of a mission briefing in one hour. He entered the room to find Jess Harden sitting down already; reviewing some reports on a desk.

“Sir,” she saluted and stood at attention as he walked in, waiting for him to address her.

“There’s no need for that Jess, as you were,” saluting her anyway out of habit and walking past her. She still looked as good as the first day he had laid eyes on her; but the image of his wife still permeated his mind; and he strolled by without a word. He sat himself down, readying his briefing and setting up any necessary material he would need.

He then realized that he hadn’t read the info slate he had received earlier from the communications unit and took it out of his pocket. Inserting his I.D ring, he started to read up on the individual who was pictured in a pic on the side of the list. Marcus was hunting this man, this traitor Astarte’s who, in his eyes, had taken everything from him, and finally he had some dirt on him.

He then remember the info slate he had received earlier from the communications officer. He took the slate out and opened it's contents. Howveer, as he expected, everything was blacked out, everything exepct for one paragraph. It contiained information on some Astarte's Chapter called the Dark Angels. Hell if I've veer heard of them he thought and put the slate down for later.

Marcus had made a battle plan around finding him, but also achieving the objective he had been given for his company. He would have his unit deploy through a ravine that shot out from behind the city limits towards the south. From there they would move out towards the Galbatorian River and move as close to the tree line as possible; making sure to conceal their movements. Then they would launch a two-pronged attack on the enemy CP and take whatever prisoners they could for questioning. It was fool proof, provided they were not spotted moving through the forest/river line.

However, Marcus didn’t finish his train of thought as he heard his officers filing into the room; muttering amongst themselves. He walked in, saluted them, and then grabbed the pointer stick nearby.

“Afternoon gentlemen, here’s what he are going to be doing………………………



"Walk Softely, and Carry a Big Gun!"

Last edited by emporershand89; 03-24-11 at 01:24 AM.
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post #4 of 12 (permalink) Old 03-22-11, 11:27 PM
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Oh and the fallen are probably the best kept secret in the Imperium, even the Inquisition doesn't know about them. Maybe having him as a dark angel is pushing it a bit.

Otherwise looking really good so far . Glad to know I'm a massive bad boy . Keep up the good work

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post #5 of 12 (permalink) Old 03-23-11, 01:45 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jackinator View Post
Oh and the fallen are probably the best kept secret in the Imperium, even the Inquisition doesn't know about them. Maybe having him as a dark angel is pushing it a bit.
I agree, but you can just tweak it a bit and say that he isn't Fallen but instead a recent convert to chaos. Other than that, really good story keep up the good work.

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post #6 of 12 (permalink) Old 03-23-11, 02:46 AM Thread Starter
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No, he stays an Angel, thats the story line. But let me explain......

Yes, it's true that the Fallen are not well known, and that they are technically a black spot on the Astarte records, but then so are all the other rogue chapters. Second, the records of the Chapter while they served faithfully during the Great crusade are still in tact, just that they are also highly secretive. But not impossible

Thirdly, and most important, Marcus is an old soldier, and experienced soldier, and he has some connections being in the Cadre of the Gaurd.

Besides, it's only gonna get better later on



"Walk Softely, and Carry a Big Gun!"
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post #7 of 12 (permalink) Old 03-23-11, 08:45 AM
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I'm sorry, but it's fine him being a fallen, but you finding out from records is still a bit iffy. Even the Inquisiton doesn't know about them, even members of the actual chapter don't know about them and if they don't know, then you can guarantee Marcus won't be able to find out, connections or not. He'd have to have connections in the actual chapter and since all of the ones who know about it all swore an oath to keep it secret he still wouldn't find out what chapter he was from. Maybe discover his name but not his origin?

P.S. Just had a thought, it could be an Inquisitorial report with an Inquisitor detailing his suspicions of the origin of this chaos marine?


Last edited by Jackinator; 03-23-11 at 08:53 AM.
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post #8 of 12 (permalink) Old 03-23-11, 09:44 AM
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What is armoured furry? Sounds like a fluffy tank. Joking aside it does sound rather good so far.


I have recently started a new Blog. I would really appreciate it if you would LOOK AT IT
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post #9 of 12 (permalink) Old 03-23-11, 01:26 PM Thread Starter
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Wow, I just realised that I mispelled Fury, as in really F'ing angry. hahah, wow total brain fart, i'll fix that up straight away



"Walk Softely, and Carry a Big Gun!"
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post #10 of 12 (permalink) Old 03-24-11, 11:24 PM
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I must say, I love this idea. People love to have their creations inside a story such as this, and I think this shall go quite a long ways.

"Whether you choose to fight the inevitable...
Is entirely up to you."


"The Great Game has seen incredibly unusual, meaningless and powerful alliances, however short or long, between the Gods of Chaos. Most have never before been witnessed by the inhabitants of realspace, others have decimated entire systems as the Daemons of Chaos marched across spacetime. But none have ever been as insidious or as heinous as that between the Dark Prince and the Architect of Fate given form as the Daemon Prince Us'etil'akhed'raan, Saenocroleius, the All-Father."

~Codicium Aeternum on Daemon Prince Us'etil'akhed'raan circa 011.M42
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