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post #1 of 2 (permalink) Old 12-11-10, 01:03 PM Thread Starter
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Default Ilail's Revenge (Short Story)

Ilail lay on the ground struggling to remain alive. As the hulking figure walked towards him menacingly, he blacked out.

:24 HOURS AGO:

"Read to move onto the battle barge sir?" asked Ilail Yilov as he strode to stand next to the hulking figure of Lord Rinneto Osseran.

"Not yet Ilail. The day is still young, and we should in all honesty take a full check of the surrounding area before leaving." replied Rinneto without turning away from the tree-line that he was staring at.

"Of course, brother." Ilail replied before returning to the barracks to rest. As Ilail sat upon a metal stool, he saw another brother that had served with him for a long time.

"Ilail? Did you ask Lord Osseran about retreating yet?" Nero Filanna asked as he pulled a stool along and sat next to Ilail.

"Yes brother, I did, but he said we should take a full sweep of the surrounding area first." Ilail replied, looking up for a brief second at the scarred face of Nero. Nero nodded in acknowledgement, and left Ilail in the seat. Before Nero had left Ilail asked him whether they should go check the area now. Nero was happy to go on the search, little did they know that this would be one of the most foolish mistakes he would ever make.

"Have you noticed how strangely Osseran has been acting recently?" Nero asked as the pair surveyed the forested area that they were in. Ilail wouldn't say anything on the matter, but he too had begun to realise that Nero was speaking the truth. Why couldn't they go on the battle barge? The area was fine, and the battle barge could have easily scanned the area. The pair stopped for a short break, and Nero once again asked the question.

"I have nothing to say on the matter Nero. Now will you stop asking me about it?" Ilail replied irritated.

"Fine then, brother. You can keep searching, I'm going to go back to base" Nero relied, and with that he walked off. Ilail didn't care for any of Nero's moods, but as he stood and pulled his las-pistol out, a wave of thought hit him. He had no idea where he was, and neither did Nero. But he would seem weak if he went to try and help, so he just continued walking aimlessly.

As Nero arrived at the base he was immediately confronted by Lord Osseran.

"Ah, Nero, it's good to see you. Would you mind helping me with a "special" task?" Osseran said, putting his arm around the shoulder of Nero.

"Of course sir." and as Osseran told him what he had to do, Nero knew that he would get his revenge.

Ilail walked around the forest aimlessly for hours, hoping that he would stumble upon Nero. However, he had had no such luck, and he had wandered hopelessly. As he rounded the corner, he saw a familiar figure come into sight.

"Nero? Is that you?" he asked as he ran towards the figure.

"Yes Ilail, it is me, so come with me I can get you out of the forest." And he trusted Nero, and went with him back to the outpost. Osseran was waiting for him at the base. He said no words, but just raised his plasma pistol and fired a numerous amount of round deep into the body of Nero. As Nero hit the floor, he managed to choke out a few words.

"You...betrayed...me! Kill...him...Ilail..." and then he crumpled into a wreck, and lay on the ground, motionless. As Ilail rose his las-pistol, Osseran spoke to him.

"Stop. I lay to him a test of faith to the Emperor, and he failed. I told him that I would reward him for bringing you here so I could kill you. He did as I said, and is therefore a traitor to all that is good." Osseran said calmly as he holstered his pistol. Ilail could still not believe that Nero was so shallow as to actually betray him, and pointed his pistol at the head of Osseran.

"Don't do it Ilail. You know I speak the truth." Osseran reasoned. But Ilail had put up a mental barrier, and all that he wanted was revenge. He fired several shots at Osseran, but none even hit him, let alone wounded him.

"You fail to then." and Osseran fired a shot at Ilail. He hit the ground, weak and limp, but still clinging to life.

Ilail lay on the ground struggling to remain alive. As the hulking figure walked towards him menacingly, he blacked out.

"Seems that I win." Osseran said, and he left Ilail to die on the ground.


Story I'm Currently Writing:

The Diary of a Guardsman (Continuous Story)
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post #2 of 2 (permalink) Old 12-23-10, 02:59 AM
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Nice little story. A little confusing though. The characters don't have much about them, if you get my meaning. Beyond names, there's nothing there to describe them. Are they space marines or guardsmen? Osseran sounds like a space marine but the other two sound more like guardsmen. Hmm... Still, good read.

Good luck and good gaming,

Nate

"If you can't stun them with your tactical brilliance, baffle them with your superior grasp of BS."

"I refuse to engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed man."

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Originally Posted by TheAllFather View Post
Well, seeing as how you capitalize your characters, use proper grammar and punctuation, I'd say you qualify.
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