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post #1 of 3 (permalink) Old 12-11-10, 09:59 AM Thread Starter
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Warhammer 40k Story Hall

Hey Anyone who likes to write and likes 40k, then combine them here. post your stories here for all to read. i will start it off with a prolouge from the stroy i am writing now. ENJOY

Prologue
False Hope: Ultramarine Outpost
“Corporal, can you hear me,” came Sergeant Alkove’s voice came through Corporal Kilmar’s earpiece radio.
“Loud and clear brother,” Kilmar replied.
“Good,” continued Alkove, “I don’t like it out here tonight… It’s so quiet.”
“I know…” Kilmar did not know what else to say. It was dark, misty, cold and very quiet. He was on guard duty tonight, and all seemed well, but it was too silent. Not a bird in the sky, nor an animal in the bush. Suddenly, a great shaft of moonlight broke through the dense fog, illuminating Kilmar’s blue power armour and the horrible scene below him.
“Corporal?” came Alkove’s nervous voice.
About ten vast, hulking shapes were creeping up towards the outposts. Orks. There was no mistaking them. But they were not like any orks Kilmar had seen. They were covered in camouflage, and were now proceeding to silently scale the wall.
“Raise the alarm! ORKS!” cried Kilmar. Then he heard a terrible gurgling cry from behind him. Spinning round, Kilmar saw Alkove sinking to the ground, an ork’s knife embedded in his throat. With a howl of rage, Kilmar leapt at the ork, his chainsaw revving. He split the ork down from the head and its mangled corpse thumped to the ground. Before he had a chance to grieve for his fallen battle brother, a large knife erupted from his chest. Kilmar was lifted of the ground as the ork who had sneaked up behind him wrenched its weapon free. Kilmar fell to the ground with a sickening crunch.
“Emperor, I have failed you.” And he breathed his last.

I
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post #2 of 3 (permalink) Old 12-11-10, 10:03 AM
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Wrong section. You want Original Works, a bit lower on the forum page.

Also, your story is off to a promising start.


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post #3 of 3 (permalink) Old 12-11-10, 10:25 AM
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Good start, only critique I have on it is to change "Chainsaw" to "chainsword." overall good technique, it reads a lot like an excerpt from one of the black library books.

Well that was unexpected..... -Last words of chaos Warmaster Veran The Undefeatable

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