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post #1 of 85 (permalink) Old 11-06-10, 10:43 AM Thread Starter
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Default The First Wraith

Almost a century following the Necontyr`s discovery of the C`tan...


Nayten Coren had been a warrior for his entire adult life. But that meant little when you live the life of a necrontyr. Adulthood came early. Old age followed within a few decades. And death was upon them all too soon. For countless generations, the people had strived to find a means to longer life. Their scientists had explored every angle, their warriors had searched every world. Nothing... Death had followed them everywhere....


Nayten sighed heavily, looking down on his slender, gaunt hand. How many of the Old Ones` spawn had died by his hand, he couldn`t remember. He had chosen to fight for his people, to cast down the Old Ones and take from them what they refused to share...

'Are you alright?' A soft female voice came from beside him.

'What...?' Nayten looked up, seeing a young woman approach.

'You`re trembling.' She said. 'Are you alright?'

'I...' Nayten struggled to think, trying to clear his mind of the rage that had suddenly overcome him. Only now did he notice that his hand had clenched into a fist and was shaking slightly. 'Yes, Neka, I`m fine.'

'Dad, why do you spend your time here?' Neka asked, approaching her father and helping him stand. She followed his gaze out across the city square, all but deserted at this late hour. This world was the heart of necrontyr controlled space, even the Old Ones were not yet brave enough to attempt an attack here.

'I miss it.' Nayten replied. 'I miss the fighting.'

'How could you miss that?' Neka asked, leading her father back towards their dwelling. They entered a nearby building, Nayten remaining silent the whole time. The elevator arrived swiftly and carried them up to where Neka lived. As a scientist working on some secret project for the necrontyr High Council, she had been given a luxurious suite on this capital world. When Nayten had been retired from the military, she had practically insisted that he come and live with her.

Neka`s mother had died several years prior, so it had been an awkward time for both of them at first. But as the cycles went on, they had begun to grow close. Neka would spend her days in the necrontyr scientific research facility, whilst Nayten would roam the city streets, telling his story to any eager young children who would listen.

'I... I don`t know.' Nayten answered her question as they enterd her dwelling. He looked around at the familiar setting. There was a feeling of technology and machinery all around, it was almost as though Neka had brought the laboratory home with her. 'I just feel as though my life has lost its purpose.' He expression saddened as he continued. 'All my life, I`ve been a soldier. All I`ve ever done is kill. The Old Ones, the enemies of the Star Gods, had been worthy foes. But now, things seem to have lost their way.' He strolled over to the window, taking a seat in his favourite chair.

'It was a losing battle.' Neka said. 'The Star Gods have...' She clamped her mouth shut, turning away.

'Is that what you`re working on?' Nayten asked. 'Have the gods given us a new way to fight?'

'No...' Neka shook her head. 'Dad, please understand, this is not supposed to be public knowledge. Not yet. The Messenger, he told the High Council how we could...' She trailed off, clearly conflicted about defying her orders of confidentiality. But this was her father...

'What?' Nayten demanded.

'He offered us a means of immortality.' She said, looking sadly back at him.

Nayten sat in stunned silence. He could scarcely believe what he had heard. His whole life, he had fought in the name of the Star Gods, because he had believed them to be truly holding the necrontyr`s best interests to heart. But they had the answer all along?

'Why did they not present this sooner?' Nayten demanded. 'Why have we been fighting all this time if the answer was already known to them?'

'Dad, please.' Neka raised a hand. 'This has been ongoing for some time.' She sat beside her father on the arm of the chair, taking his hand and looking pleadingly into his eyes.

'This cannot get out.' She insisted. 'Not yet. We`ve been developing this technology for close to a decade, but there have been a few setbacks and problems. We... We never would have considered this line of work if not for the words of the Messenger.'

'I once fought alongside the Master of Fear against an army of reptilian warriors sired by the Old Ones.' Nayten said. 'The god`s power was unimaginable. He slew scores of enemy warriors with every swing of his great scythe. I followed in his wake, killing those that slipped beneath his notice. I felt...'

'...Dad.' Neka interrupted. 'Why do you torture yourself like this?'

'...I felt his savage joy in killing.' Nayten continued, ignoring her. 'I felt the extreme delight he emanated at inflicting such terror and suffering upon them. He is the incarnation of death, he is certain doom for anything that opposes him.

'But after each battle, when we had left his presence, I would reflect, and I would realise that we had become monsters. But no matter how disgusted I became with myself, I would always join the next fight.'

Neka turned away, not wanting him to see the tears that had begun to well up in her eyes. She knew what he wanted, she had the means to give it to him.
He wanted to fight, to kill. He had become a dealer of death, and nothing else could fill the void that his forced retirement had left him with.
Crying softly beyond his notice, Neka made her decision. Nayten would be the next subject for the transference research...


Nonsense is our Salvation

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post #2 of 85 (permalink) Old 11-12-10, 05:55 AM Thread Starter
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It was a restless night for both of them. Neka found herself unable to sleep at all, kept awake by the feelings of guilt and concern. Despite everything that her father was, she was unable to tell him everything. The transference technology was still incomplete, all test subjects so far showing severe signs of mental atrophy.

But her father was stronger. At least, she kept telling herself that he was...

She stood out on the balcony of her dwelling, looking up at the stars in the night sky. Millions of stars shone down on her, and she was forced to wonder how many of them might be nests for the gods. The Star Borne, who had promised eternity and salvation, in exchange for service and worship...

'Couldn`t sleep?' Nayten asked from behind her.

'No.' She replied simply

'Neither could I.' He added.

'You nervous too?' She turned to him, concern rich in her features.

'No, Neka.' He laughed. 'I`m just old.' He laughed again, but it soon delved into a sickly cough. He leaned forward on the railing, simply staring off into the distant cityscape while Neka stood silently at his side.

After several hours of silent contemplation, simply looking out over the city and stars, Neka finally plucked up the courage to ask the question that had been nagging at the back of her mind ever since she told her father of the transfer process.

'Are you sure you wanna go through with this?' She asked him. 'I just want to make sure you`ve really thought this through. I mean... this is permanent. We`re talking about spending eternity as a machine. Are you sure you can do this? I can`t imagine what must be going through your mind right now, I just...' She trailed off, fighting back tears as he turned and met her youthful eyes with his wizened stare.

'I am sure, Neka.' Nayten nodded. 'Immortality is what our race has craved since our first encounter with the Old Ones, all those millennia ago. Do you remember, have you read from the chronicles?

'Our ancient forebearers approached the Old Ones and appraised those damn snakes of our plight. We begged them to help us, we offered our knowledge, our service, but they refused. That is why our hatred burns so strong, Neka. The aggression you feel at your heart, I know it is there. It is tens of thousands of years of hatred flowing through ancestral veins. It has become who we are.'

'I know that.' Neka replied sadly, lowering her gaze.

'Then what of you?' Nayten asked his daughter. 'When this technology is perfected, will you undergo this... transfer? Will you leave your mortal form behind, as you have convinced me to do, and take up existence as one of these... machines? That is what they are, correct?

'...Yes.' Neka replied, still not meeting his eyes. 'Machines... crafted loosely in our image.'

'But there is more.' Nayten said. Not a question, he knew of the High Council`s fondness for secrecy. 'There is something you cannot say, not even to me.'

Neka looked up at him. 'I`m worried!' She blurted out at last. 'What if the transfer doesn`t work? You`ll be trapped in that form forever, always less than what you should have been! Always...'

'A shadow?' Nayten suggested.

'A shadow...' She repeated.

Nayten stood and hobbled over to her, his tired legs moving slowly. He embrace his daughter tenderly, assuring her that he appreciated her concern and that she would always have his fatherly love.

'Do not be afraid.' He said. 'I have had my time, and if my fate is to be one step on out race`s road to immortality, then I will gladly be that step. Now please, get some rest.'

He let her go. She smiled gratefully and retreated back indoors. Nayten spent a final few minutes looking up at the stars before he too returned to his room and slept.


Nonsense is our Salvation


Last edited by Serpion5; 11-19-10 at 05:23 AM.
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post #3 of 85 (permalink) Old 11-19-10, 01:48 AM
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Very well done.

I like the story, and the installments come in bite-sized pieces, which is great. My only peeve is this:

Quote:
He laughed again, quickly it turned into a sickly cough.
This part bugs me. It's purely cosmetic, but the flow feels off. I'd suggest "again; quickly" or "again, and it/but it/etc." It's a weird transition.

And yes, I know I'm being incredibly picky, but I'm putting in my 2 cents anyways.

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Camo is the color of cowardice but if the only ones to call you a coward are now a puddle of plasma there isnt a problem.
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post #4 of 85 (permalink) Old 11-19-10, 05:28 AM Thread Starter
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I see your point. Fixed it.



Yay, a response! :D


Nonsense is our Salvation

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post #5 of 85 (permalink) Old 11-19-10, 11:04 AM
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This is really cool. Haven't read anything about Necrons before really, so looking forward to more!

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As for adding weathering, didn't you know that marines never get dirty, they are too cool.
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post #6 of 85 (permalink) Old 11-21-10, 09:22 AM Thread Starter
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Thanks ChaosRider. Next bit should be up in a few days.


Nonsense is our Salvation

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post #7 of 85 (permalink) Old 11-21-10, 01:44 PM
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Very nice reading, good on the eyes as well with the small paragraphs. Can't wait to see the rest. +rep that is deserved.


Story I'm Currently Writing:

The Diary of a Guardsman (Continuous Story)
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post #8 of 85 (permalink) Old 11-26-10, 07:12 AM Thread Starter
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Default Memories...

Nayten had been in the antechamber of the laboratory for some time now. If he had to guess, and he did for the lack of chronometers in the room, he would have said about four and a half hours. His patience was enduring for the time being. He had spent most of the time over by the window, watching the necrontyr civilians going about their lives here, far from the warzone to the galactic south west. Most of them worked in factories of some kind, growing food in hydroponic farms, manufacturing various weapons and technologies used by the warriors, and others would be researchers. At least a third of the industries in the city were devoted to some form of research.

Nayten sighed again. What would his life had been like if he had forsaken the career of a warrior? Would he have been like one of the many individuals traversing the streets below? Milling about in their time off, travelling to and fro between their varying tasks?

Nayten began to remember his time as a warrior. He had fought at the forefront, of many battles, some even in the presence of the Master of Fear itself. One such battle began to come back to him as he waited, and he could not stop a smile from creeping onto his face...

‘Forward!’ The commander called, his voice distorted into a metallic roar by the armour he wore. The roar of affirmation from the necrontyr warriors around him brought a similar metallic din to the air. Nayten signalled a charge to his unit, the metal talons fixed to his armour glowing dimly with the inbuilt disruptive field. His warriors confirmed without speaking, their own claws flensing the air in their eagerness to spill some reptilian blood.

Weapons fire began to impact them. The armour of the necrontyr was superior to the meagre defences of the Old One warriors, and Nayten laughed as he closed the distance. Always the first in his unit, always at the forefront, Nayten had become the epitome of close quarter fighting to his peers and superiors alike. He could almost feel the Commander`s eyes watching him from behind. In front of him, the expression of the snake like warrior began to show signs of fear.

‘HYAAAHHH!’ He roared in savage delight as his talons impacted flesh. The Old One cried out in pain, scrabbling for a concealed weapon near the base of its tail. Nayten did not give it the chance, swinging his other weapon for its throat and closing his bladed hand around the armour plates it wore. Little by little, the disruptive energy field dissolved the alien metal, until at last the naga like creature`s face was exposed. It screamed briefly as the field tore into its face and skull, leaving a charred and deformed mess. Nayten tossed the corpse aside, his armour enhancing his strength and making light work of the creature`s bulk.

By now, the Old Ones had reacted to the melee, many of them having drawn weapons of otherworldly power to combat the superior technology of their anthromorphic foes. The snake-like Old Ones were more agile than Nayten remembered, and he watched with dismay as two of them slew one of his warriors. One of them had coiled tightly around the necrontyr`s form, immobilising him whilst the other brought its psionically radiating sword to bear on his defenceless head. Even the necrodermic armour of the necrontyr was sorely pressed to resist this power that they possessed, this... magic.

Before he could move to exact retribution, Nayten was assailed from behind by a slithering Old One who was clearly attempting a similar tactic. Nayten struggled uselessly, already able to feel the energies of the creature`s blade at the back of his neck. Death was moments away...

A sudden blast of heat snapped him out of his deathly dreaming as the creature went slack around him. Shaking off the scaly corpse, he looked to the commander, who had his plasma blaster raised.

‘You`re welcome, trooper.’ His voice rang out to Nayten. ‘Now get back to work!’

‘Yes, Commander!’ Nayten laughed coarsely. With his renewed vigour, he surged forth once more, the talons connected to his arm lashing out and spilling alien blood with each stroke and swipe...


The memory faded. Nayten raised his head, looking around the room. He didn`t know how much time had past while he had been reminiscing, but judging by the position of the sun in the cloudy sky, it must not have been long. Such was the tragedy of his life, he knew for a fact that he cherished every moment he spent on the battlefield, he only regretted that he could not remember anything beyond fleeting moments of combat.

He wondered if his mind would continue to degenerate in his new form. Or if his mind would even survive at all. All he could do was hope. Focus on what he cherished most...


Nonsense is our Salvation

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post #9 of 85 (permalink) Old 11-27-10, 06:46 PM
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I like it.

I don't really have any complaints with anything in this, beyond that there's no more for the time being. It's good work!

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Camo is the color of cowardice but if the only ones to call you a coward are now a puddle of plasma there isnt a problem.
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post #10 of 85 (permalink) Old 11-28-10, 06:49 AM Thread Starter
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Thank you Varrius.

Can`t promise a time frame for the next piece, but I`ll try have it done within two or three weeks.


Nonsense is our Salvation

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