A collection of short stories based off of Warhammer 40k's most lovable characters.
It was a tuesday night that they decided to get something to eat that was not from the cafeteria on their ships. So they decided to cruise down main street to see if there was anything appealing to them.
"God I am so hungry." Fulgrim said.
"Yeah me too, like, right now I could eat a whole squiggoth." Mortarion said, rubbing his stomach to emphasizehis hunger.
"How about Wendys?" Lionel pointed out as they drove down the main road.
"Wendys makes me feel bloated afterwards." Fulgrim complained.
"Dude, Taco Del Mar, right over there!" Dorn pointed out.
"Nah, Taco Del Mar gives me major gas afterwards. But I will admit that they have a killer ranch jalapeno sauce." Mortarion said.
"Holy shit... A Kentucky Fried Chicken! Right over there, just two blocks ahead." Ferrus said enthusiastically.
"Fine with me." Dorn said.
"Im down with it"
"Ok, were going to KFC."
Lionel turned the land raider in the parking lot, crushing some cars that were already parked there. They bailed out of the car, eager to get some grub in their stomachs. The massive primarchs smashed through the glass doors, ignoring the damage and the safety of the people nearby. There, they stood in front of the cashier, deciding on what to order.
"Man, I can't decide between either the extra crispy strip meal of the pop corn chicken." Dorn said, rubbing his chin as he decided.
"Dude, that family bucket meal looks oh so tempting. But at the same time, the double down looks just delicious." Mortarion said.
"Ewww. The double down? Really Mortarion? That thing just looks like diabetes incarnated." Fulgrim said in disgust.
"But is has bacon on it. Can't argue against that." Mortaion rebutted.
"Hmmm... Okay, should I get the chicken breast and wing combo or the extra spicy chicken club?" Ferrus asked.
"Order both, then we actually can take home some real food." Lionel joked.
"True Lionel... very true..."
"Okay, I made up my mind. Iím getting the pop corn chicken plus two snack wraps, with large fries and two large cokes." Dorn decided. "How about you guys?"
"Iím getting two family buckets."
"Mortarion... jeez... you such a fatass."Ferrus said, rolling his eyes at such a choice.
"What? Iím really hunger."
"Iím getting the grilled chicken combo with a salad and a diet coke." Fulgrim said.
"You mean a women's meal?" Dorn snickered.
"Fuck you Dorn."
"Getting the crispy strips meal and the club sandwich, extra spicy." Ferrus said.
"Well, Iím just going to have to get both here. Iím ordering the breast and thigh meal with potatoes and corn. Ready guys?"
They all shook their heads in agreement. Lionel stepped up to the cashier and ordered their food. About eight minutes later that their massive tray of food arrived at their table. Rather than paying for everything, Ferrus took out his bolt pistol and killed the staff, saying that it was a act of self defense. Everyone laughed at the reason. But without thought, they dove into their meals.
"God, why don't you guys slow down? Seriously, you guys look like pigs when you eat." Fulgrim said in disgust.
"Ah grow up Fag-rim." Dorn said, spitting some food out of his mouth at the same time.
"Seriously, I need to know what spices they use for the fried skin. This stuff is like crack." Lionel said.
"Seriously, the skin is the only part people come here for. I mean, screw the chicken in all honesty, it's basically something that happened to be attached to the skin and also happened to be edible." Dorn agreed.
"You're already finished? Holy shit Mortarion." Ferrus said surprised.
"I told you I was fucking hungry. Say... why didn't Sanguinius come?"
Ferrus cleared his throat "He told me that eating things with wings made him queasy. Whatever, heís a pussy anyways."