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post #1 of 4 (permalink) Old 09-29-10, 09:17 PM Thread Starter
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Default Angron at the Therapist

The therapist sat in her chair, writing away on the reports of all of his clients. She looked at the clock, seeing that it was four minutes before two. She has been through four appointments so far, but luckily today this would be her last appointment. When the clock struck two, the door to her office slowly creaked open. A large demonic face peered through the door, looking nervous and shy.

"Ummmm, is this Doctor Hailey’s office?" The demon asked quietly.

"Why yes it is. Are you Angron perchance?"

"Yeah, I have a appointment with you." Angron said as he slowly walked into the room.

"Well then, make yourself comfortable on the chair over there while I'll pull out some of your documents." Hailey said with a smile.

Angron made his way to the large chair, setting his massive axe to the side. He squeezed his way into the chair, barely fitting in the small piece of furniture. He waited patiently as Doctor Hailey checked his documents and other various papers. After browsing through them all, Doctor Hailey got up and sat in the chair across him.

"So Angron, from the medical records and client documents it seems that you suffer from a high form of spontaneous rage and incredible anger. Tell me, what makes you so angry all of the time?" Hailey calmly asked.

"Well... I really don't know what makes me so angry. I mean, I have experienced this since my childhood all the way to my demonic ascension. It makes it hard to get things done, it makes it hard to start relationships with new people and keep relationships with the people I know. I don’t know what causes this..." Angron said, confused about his mental state.

"Well, let’s start from the beginning here. What was the first time that you experienced rage that has caused violence and damage?"

"Well" Angron began to think "I believe it was when I was a small child. A group of eldar tried to kill me because of some prophecy, and so, naturally I defended myself. Usually one wouldn't be so mad, but they called me names and I... I just lost it. So yeah, I think that was my earliest memory of my anger."

"Hmmm... Were there some other instances in your early childhood?"

Angron paused to think again. "Well... I do remember that I was forced to fight in gladiator fights when I was young. I mean, every day I see the other kids play in the streets with their friends and parents, but for me? I was forced to fight, devoided of any love. I was so jealous and angry about that. I tired to escape to the mountains with some of my fellow slaves, but they kept stopping me by killing my closest friends... then they would beat me."

"That must be tough on you. To be devoided of any love or compassion." Hailey said sympathetically.

"I know! Finally we got to the mountains, but they kept coming for us, promising for a quick death. We didn't believe them. We fought for so long against all of them, that we were about to consider ourselves dead..." Angron mournfully said.

"Let’s jump ahead here. How was your relationship between your brothers?"

"Uhhh it was terrible. None of them would like to neither hang out with me or even talk to me, save for Horus and Leman. Even then they would simply say a few words here and there. I felt so... empty and full of rage. It was a living nightmare for me." Agron realized. "The only thing that kept me going with the Emperor was my legion, but even then, all they wanted to do was fight and kill! They didn't even bother to try to know each other. The only way I could set them straight was through violence and anger... it was just awful."

"So... how was your relationship with the Emperor? Your father?" Hailey brought up.

Angron sighed heavily. "The bastard didn't even want to talk to me. He was a terrible father. Never paid attention and only cared for the stupid Imperium. Every victory that Horus won he praised like no tomorrow, but me? Not a single word. Every time that I spoke out against his word, he basically called me a maniac with no emotion other than rage. What am I supposed to do? Throw on a fake smile and hold up this anger of neglect? I just couldn't do it. Instead I let my frustration out on the battlefield, but even then that did not relieve that much pain..."

"Sounds terrible... So It’s known that you rebelled against the Emperor. How did that happen?"

"I just had enough. Horus convinced me to over throw the imperium during one of my fits of anger, and now that I think about it, it did help me a little... for a bit. I felt freedom from the Emperor's grasp. I could now do what I always wanted to do! No more did I have to bend to the will of the Emperor!"

Hailey looked up at him with surprise "So what did you always wanted to do?"

Angron threw on a smile "Well. I always had a passion for musicals. In my spare time I watched Gilbert and Sullivan, Grease, and the other classics. Since discovery the art of a musical, I always wanted to be in one... It wasn't till after the Heresy that me and the legion could finally put on one together. It took a incredibly long time before we were ready to play live, but we finally got a spot at the Royal Bay Theater in Armageddon. We decided to do the famous musical 'Les Misérables'. It was a miracle on how we got the slot too. Kharn took his time and called the place, setting up a perfect slot too. Sure he threatened the owner, but we finally convinced him of our work!"

"So what happened after that?"

"Well... We were heading over there for good intentions, but of course the Imperium took it the wrong way. We arrived there with all of our equipment for sets, lighting and costumes, and guess who greets us? The Imperial guard and Grey Knights. We tried to explain our reason for being on Armageddon, but they wouldn't listen. And of course, I lost it after hours of arguing. So the entire thing ended up in a disaster, being banished back into the warp after killing almost everything. We never got the chance to get that slot again." Angron sighed in disappointment.

Hailey was surprised about all of this. "So what happened after that?"

"Well, I vowed to help clear up my anger issues and my fits. So that’s why I am here. I mean, this is a big personal step for me, trying to overcome this problem, but I believe that it would be for the better."

"Any other thoughts while were here? We have fifteen minutes left." Hailey asked.

"The main question is how do I overcome this? I just get so frustrated at trying to hold it in, but instead it back fires and I end up killing everything! I need help!" Angron said, frustrated by his problem.

"Well, tell you what. I will prescribe you some Itheral for several weeks. Also, I want you to take Doctor Isentine's anger management course next door. He is an expert at dealing with such issues. My diagnose is that you lack a proper way to vent stress and frustration. I think running or swimming could help you distract you from your daily anger problems. Is that good for now?"

"That sounds great. Thank you so much for helping me here!" Angron said, appreciative for her help.

Angron shook her hand as he was about to leave.

"If you need to make another appointment, just call the front desk."


Last edited by ThatOtherGuy; 09-30-10 at 01:48 AM.
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post #2 of 4 (permalink) Old 09-29-10, 09:40 PM
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That's actually pretty fraking hilarious.

So what's next, sex addiction help for a dark eldar?

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post #3 of 4 (permalink) Old 09-29-10, 10:16 PM
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That was brilliant! Part two? Have some rep for it... Midnight folks!

[Flerden] 9:05 pm: Why the hell can't he just go offline if he goes to watc tv?
[dark angel] 9:06 pm: It is Doelago, we will never know
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post #4 of 4 (permalink) Old 09-30-10, 12:31 AM
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So THAT'S how the First War of Armageddon happened! The official version was just too cheesy to believe...
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