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post #1 of 3 (permalink) Old 03-16-08, 08:26 AM Thread Starter
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Default Taking the Ridge

Major Shugo Takeda felt the ground beneath him fall away as he fell. He hit hard and the whole world went black. His ears were ringing from the explosion and his gear suddenly felt very heavy. Shugo suddenly wished he had worn his helmet for this attack. The world felt very distant and muffled.
“Major!” Shugo blinked the sky was badly out of focus and there were two face above him he could not quite make out. He blinked again and felt himself being shaken roughly. “Major!” Suddenly the world came into a surprisingly clear focus and Shugo sat up almost knocking over Master Sergeant Saito. He looked around and also saw Lieutenant Yuki Hyori look at him once and then turn and continue firing her sniper rifle. Saito’s hand grabbed onto Shugo’s shoulder. “Major, Colonel Minamoto is on the vox he has orders for you.” Shugo nodded and activated the vox.
“Sir, Maj. Takeda here.”
“Major did I give you permission to take a nap?” Shugo grinned.
“Sorry sir, I just wanted to put my head down for a bit.”
“You can after the battle now hurry up and advance your men. The regiments from these Glasgow Highlanders are probably already advancing and the Cadians are just about ready to advance as well. I bet you can hear those Highlanders on their pipes right about now.” Shugo stop and he could hear the shrill sounds of the Highlander bagpipes as the ancient melody of “Scotland the Brave” roared above the chaos of battle.
“I hear you sir. My men will begin advancing imminently. Takeda out.”
“Give them hell Major. Minamoto Out” Shugo stood up and shouted to his men.
“Amatsu Brigade! Banzai charge! Banzai to the God-Emperor!” all around him hundreds of men rose from their trenches and began to advance all of them shouting the Brigade battle cry. “Banzai!”
“Banzai!” Dozens of the Brigades tanks lurched forward showering the enemy position with shells and bolter rounds. All round the line men fell from the pulse rifle fire being poured onto them from the Tau positions. Suddenly a mighty roar was from the rear.
“Space Marines! Attack!” From the rear of the Imperial lines almost one thousand of elite Space Marines surged forward almost all of them not equipped with jump packs rode within mighty landraiders and rhinos. The rapid assault of the Space Marines quickly caught up to the charging guardsmen as they continued their charge. Frag grenades exploded inside the Tau trenches knocking over dozens of Tau Fire Warriors and disorientating the survivors.
“Pile in, Amatsu!” The Amatsu Guardsmen charged into the trenches with bayonets, with rifle butts, with knives, and even with bare fists. Takeda and his personnel squad charged into the melee as the dozens of Tau warriors fell to the fanatical Guardsmen. Shugo swing his blade separating a Tau warrior’s head from his body. Next to him Hyori drove her knife deep into the throat of another Tau while Saito snapped another Tau’s neck. Shugo shouted into his vox. “Hamura get your flamers into the trenches and start clearing out the other sections.”
“You got it!” The big lieutenant stood up so that everyone could see him. “Charlie Company! Flamers up front and clean ‘em out!” Several big troopers armed with flamers moved up and began to torch the narrow trenches, the trenches channeling the flames down towards the remaining Tau. Shugo looked around as the Imperial vehicles charged past the remaining trenches and began to push back the remaining Tau forces when suddenly a mass of shouting was heard.
“Gue'vesa’la forward!” Shugo looked and saw humans clad in a mix of Imperial and Tau armor, armed with a wide range of weapons from autoguns and lasrifles to Tau pulse rifles and carbines charging towards him. “Tau’va!” Shugo felt his heart fill with hatred at their cries of battle, orders or no orders he was going to wipe those scum off the face of the galaxy.
“Amatsu! Forward!” They surged forward as the Space Marines ahead of them reached the Tau troops. Bolter rounds, grenades, and flamers broke up the Tau charged as the Space Marines destroyed the traitors. The Marine dreadnaughts tossed bodies into the air and across the battlefield. The Tau were completely broke from the carnage as the Space Marines mercilessly smashed their way towards the next line of Tau defenses. By the time the Amatsu soldiers reached where the Tau charged had been broken. They rounded up the survivors and herded them towards the rear with the survivors from the first charge. Hyori walked towards Shugo, the wind causing her camo-cloak to flap around her body, she smiled and spoke softly.
“We won sir.” Shugo holstered his hellpistol and sheathed his sword.
“We sure did, Yuki.” He smiled and took off his hat and wiped some of the sweat off his head. Saito walked up to him and saluted.
“Sir, the Colonel is on the vox again, he wants to speak to you.” Shugo took the headset for the vox and spoke.
“Takeda here.”
“Major, great job taking those trenches! Your men are being pulled off the line to resupply. I’ll brief you on our next operation when you get here.” Shugo looked around at his men.
“Understood Colonel. Takeda out.”
“Roger that, Minamoto out.” Shugo looked one last time at the destruction around him and switched over to the Brigade general channel.
“All units this is Two we got orders from One. We are to report to the rear to resupply and wait for new orders. Two out.” He turned to the men assigned to him and smiled. “Lets get the men assembled quickly.” The battle-harden Sergeant Saito smiled.
“Very much agreed, sir.” A voice over the vox suddenly shouted out.
“Banzai to God-Emperor!” The entire Brigade roared in response. “Banzai! Banzai! Banzai!” Shugo smiled broadly and looked at his men. They had just won a great victory for the Emperor. Thousands of traitors and aliens were killed or captured and a major enemy position was taken. Yes it was a glorious day for the Imperium.

Banzai to the God-Emperor!
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post #2 of 3 (permalink) Old 03-21-08, 02:59 AM
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I like it, good job.

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post #3 of 3 (permalink) Old 03-24-08, 08:46 PM
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its not bad, but the sentences get a bit repetitive. id try vary the length of your sentences to avoid it.
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