And Heres Moar!
"Great. Just bloody fucking shit-tastic great!" Cried the private "After four days of hell plus the wieght of the world on our heads, two fucking twats flying an air bus decide it would be fun to fly everything that we need into a mountain!"
The rest of the men looked at him with sympathy, thinking the same thing as well. The private kept screaming and yelling curses as he went on his little tantrum in the back brush while the others just muttered about thier poor luck. Aetius sat their and watched the burning rubble on the side of the mountain, looking at it as his last bits of hope floated away from him. But as the men kept themselves quiet with their frusteration, the private continued with his rage as he walked deeper into the forest.
"Fucking ass shit Imperial Guard! Then send us to this hell hole camp and then threw us in the middle of nowhere to get killed! Fucking assholes! God, if I had the chance to punch our so-called seargent in the face, I would do so! That fucking cock sucker bitch as- OOFFF"
The private fell backwards onto the ground, rubbing his nose furiously to sooth the pain as to what it ran into. He looked up to see what stopped him, thinking that it was a tree of some sort. Instead he gazed upon a rusty breast plate with a crudly painted on sun with sharp teeth. He continued to look up to see that breast plate had a mean and green ugly head attached to hit, grinning with delight.
"Wot do we have ere?"
Aetius and the others stood up in suprise to hear a high pitch scream followed by laughter. They all looked at each other and with just the subliminal looks on their faces it was clear: the orks are here. Aetius and the men started to sprint north with fear forceing them to hallucinate that their could be shelter up in the north. The ran with all they had left, but it was that of no use; they could hear them right behind them. One of the men turned his head around to see how far behind they were, only to be struck down by a low branch that he was not aware of in front of him. That left only with Carl and Aetius.
"Do you know where we are going my friend!?" gasped Aetius.
"As far away from them to say the least!"
Carl turned his head forward again only to witness a massive claw comming straight at him. The wielder of the claw swept up Carl and sliced him in half.
"Oi! I bet is bodie is good fer some sort ov sport, eh? Also da hed is mine!" Chuckled the nob.
Aetius cared not for the fate of Carl. His adrenilne was the master of his body now, and the only thing that it was commanding him to do was run. His legs began to wobble from sprinting so much but he could not stop. He thought he was in the clear until he looked forward. He dug his heels in the dirt, only to stop a few paces infront of the ork group. They all looked at him with childish glee, brandishing their knives and axes as to prepare for the kill.
"Lets chop him up!" Shouted on ork.
"Na ya stupid git! Lets stab im!" Rebuttled another ork.
Soon, Aetius was standing in front of an group of orks, arguing over how they should deal his fate.
"All ight, all ight boyz! How bout this em, wez stabbz em an then chopps him upz?" Roared the nob as he pushed his way towards the front. He stared at Aetius with a wide and evil grin that stretched across his face.
"Oi! Since when did ya kall em shots around ere?!" Yelled one of the orks. "Last week, you wer not holding da posishon to lead en group ere!"
The nob rolled his eyes and looked at the group "Dont anyone of ere rememberz last weeks elekshons?"
Some of the orks stood in silence while some of them shook their heads and muttered in their reply.
"Ight them, for those who were not there for em elekshons, we've voted for dem on whoz gonna be in da offise ov leedar ship. Me waz chosen to lead ya gitz on thes misshon. Yaz gots et?"
"Buts ar'nt yaz from eh dakka parte?" Asked one of the smaller orks.
"Ya got thats ight." Boasted the nob.
"If at so, then whys yerz leeden us then? This mob voted for eh choppa parte."
The nob buried his face in his palm and released a large sigh. He replied:
"Its does not matterz for ya vote for. Me waz put en charge of yoz boyz bi Gargerensis."
"Wait e'minut... I thought wez were a sosiety based off ov marshial power en size, not ov dis voten sutff?" Asked one of the other orks.
"No ya stoopid git, thats waz don away bout a yeer ago. Too many boyz were gettin too big to decide, so we's changed et to a demokratic system." Said one of the other orks as he slapped the questioner on the back side of the head.
"Thats ight boy, wez votes for ya warboss Gargerensis, en from that he choze me to lead ya" said the nob.
"But that dont make en troo demokratic system. We vote for teh warboss, but then he'as all them power. That make'it a monarky or in some sense, a diktatorship." Snubbed the ork in return.
"No ya git, its not a monarky... let me explain. We, teh orks, vote on our warboss. In elekshon, we vote for one of em two bosses. Whoz ever getz dem most votes is da warboss, which should be quite obvios. Though both bosses er supported bi either dem dakka party ors choppa party. Em two parties'er what make em different from a monarky. Why dem two parties? Bekause dem two parties have diff'ernt interests based off of teh boyz. After dat, teh warboss takes office an is sworn in by the oath of teh WAAAGH!!! He is den warboss of teh clan. But es power en office es checked by da senate, made up of both dem dakka and choppa party, which makes it completely different from a diktatorship. Teh can overturn or approve da warboss's deshishons, such as a WAAAGH!!! And through all of dat, I am voted to lead you boyz. Gotz it?"
All of the orks began to come to realization and started to shake their heads in agreement. The nob, feeling accomplished to what he has reminded the boys, turns around back to Aetius.
"Boss, hez gone!"
Aetius stopped and took a minute to catch his breath. He sat down to peer over the edge of the cliff to see the orks trying to pursue him, but overall confused onto where he went. This gave him some precious time to drink whats left of his canteen and take a breather. He heard them below as they called each other stupid for losing him. With his vigor back, he slowly crept along the edge of the cliff till he was behind the group of orks. He walked slowly until their voices and cries were no more. He continued until he reached the clearing were the supposed reinforcements were to arrive. Scavengering around, Aetius only found the remains of his squads bags before they ran off from danger prior. Finding only some rations and an extra canteen, it was enough to make him feel a bit more light hearted about this situation. He thought to himself that they flew north to this position, so camp must be towards the south, guessing it might be about two hundred miles away. If he could get close enough to front lines, then he could catch a ride back to base and gear up again.
Aetius gathered himself and pressed forward. Setting afoot, he traveld for about five hours before the inevitable would happen.
"Found ya you humie!" Yelled the nob as he jumped out of the brush.
Followed by an additional twelve orks, they surrounded him with blades out and guns pointed.
"All ight, Im gonna make dis a speshul day for ya punie hummie!" The nob said as he raised his claw.
"WAIT!" said Aetius lifting his hands up in the air.
"Wot is it?"
"If you kill me... then... then you wont find the super secret treasure!" Aetius said.
The orks stopped. Looking at each other with confusion, they put their weapons down to listen to his words. The nob was very suspicious about Aetius's claim and asked:
"So wats this super secret treasure?"
Aetius thought for a moment. That first sentance he said saved him but he didn't think far ahead enough to finish talking himself out of this.
"This... this... treasure was buried here along time ago by anctient humans... uhhh... the treasure itself was so precious that they hid it among the mountains and buried it so deep that it would an entire army to dig up!" Aetius said while forcing a grin on his face.
The orks looked at him with more interest and began to talk quietly to each other. The nob looked at them and started to slowly buy into this lie that Aetius was making up.
"But you see" Aetius continued "There is not only gold... but... but... weapons! Yes! Very powerful weapons! Weapons so powerful that they can tear a baneblade apart with a single beam!"
The looks on the orks faces turned wild with excitment. Their lust for killing Aetius had turn into a lust for weapons, with their eys and ears turned on him waiting for more descriptions about this treasure trove.
"With weapons like these, you can conquer systems in matter of days! You can finnally destroy your rivals and become super warbosses in your own right!"
The orks became uncontrollable with excitment now.
"All ight boyz, settle down! You humie'ar much mor precious dan we thought yer be." The nob snarled while showing a diabolical smile.
Aetius was elated that we wasn't going to die... for now. Closing his eyes for a moment, he opened up only to see a fist fly into his face, only to feel, hear or see nothing for along time after that.
His head blaring with pain and noise, Aetius woke up to find himself tied to a chair surrounded by hundreds of orks in a dimly lit room. Guns and axes were all branished as the green horde looked at him. His attention, however, was turned away when a huge green machine stepped forward and peered straight down at him. Aetius could only guess that this was Gargerensis... the warboss.
"So yaz tellen me dat this humie knows were da super sekret treasure is dat youz all talken 'bout?" Spat Gargerensis.
"Ya boss, dis is da humie" the familar nob replied.
Gargerensis squinched his eyes and looked straight into Aetius's face. He could see the drool and mechanical work on the warbosses face as the beast analyized him.
"So... if ya really trufful about dis treasure... den why dont youz tells us ere?" Gargerensis said, as he looked towards the crowd giving them a look like he exposed the lie that they bought into.
"Sure... sure I can tell you. But I cant really put it into words... but I can easily draw it out if I may have a piece of paper and a pen of some sort..."
A nob came with a piece of bark and a knife and slammed it on the table infront of Aetius. They untied him briefly for him to preform the task, but kept a close eye on him. Aetius grabbed the knife and began etching a circle in the middle to represent the base. He had no idea on the geography of their position, so as a last desporate grasp to save himself, he randomingly etched some mountains on the side with some river in between. He finished it by drawing a squigglely line that ended at a x on the other end of the bark. The orks looked at him with curiousity after he was done like he was some sort of demi-god. Gargerensis snatched the piece of bark and anaylized it.
"I NEW IT!!" Roar Gargernsis, smashing the table infront of Aetius. "Its just a big joke on us orks! All of dem directions is wrong!"
This was it. Aetius was dead. He never though that his demise would be at the hand of the warboss himself. He closed his eyes and silently prayed for a swift and mercyful death. Suddenly, Gargerensis pointed out:
"You got dis map upside down, ya stoopid humie."
Aetius looked up to see the warboss turn the map upside down, changing from pure anger to pride.
"All ight boyz listen up ere! We gonna get us some big dakka! So, pack all of dem stuff of yers and lets get moving! We got a speshul map and some speshul choppas to get!"
The orks yelled in glorious joy as Gargerensis stormed out of the room holding the map in the air. They were so excited that they left Aetius untied and unwatched. He peered out of the window to see hundred upon hundreds of orks pileing up supplies and tools on top of sqiggoths and trucks. It was a spectacular sight to behold, for withing about ten minutes, the fort went from a bustling war zone to completely empty. Aetius walked out side to see all of the orks storm out of the fort and dissapear into the woods, yelling and shooting their weapons into the air with joy. Aetius, now alone in the camp with not a single creature in sight, slowly began to walk out of the fort's unbarred gates, whistening the theme song from "The Longest Day".